LOST AND STILL FINDING(larry stylinson)
Its another new fresh day and I'm very happy the way the things around me have changed for the better. I like Louis so much. I would want to forget all kinds of pain for him and do anything to not to hurt him. He's been an angel in my sad life. And I love it. And I can never ever leave him.
“hey” a not so familiar voice says as the man knocks and peeps in and i raise my head up. Not at all expecting this sick fuck standing in the way.
What the fuck . my eyes widen. I knew he'd be back.
How can someone ruin shit more?
Right now my day had just started going straight until this man entered my office.
Every time i see his shit face all memories flush into me like fresh blood. Every single thing just comes out into view in front. I never knew he was so mentally sick.
“you step back out of my office right now or i call the security” i want to stay calm but i think i almost burst out. I can't see his fucking face. I can't tolerate him standing inside my office.
“the security let me in harry” that big ass grin on his face. He never seems even a bit apologetic for once.
“you step out now or i call , NOW” i am still a bit calm with my tone and language and still a bit calm to be seated back in my chair, but that won't be long.
“you are still angry with me? look we can talk this out and discuss it now” seriously? He wants to talk about. I want to laugh at his face.
“i don't want to Nick, just step out. I just don't want to okay? Now get the fuck out of my office. I don't want you to ruining any other second of my life Nick, just leave." oh god. I need to control i could get an asthma attack right now.
Fuck. I deep breathe to get myself in control.
“now, now now, see whose using such language? A guy whose never known the meanings of such words till senior school” he mocks me, that just boils up my blood. What is he here really for?
“you never knew me the way you were supposed to, so its better you don't freshen up the memories now. ok? And why the fuck am i even talking to you? You don't deserve to stand here, so just fucking leave already" i bang the desk hard with my palm sliding back my chair standing up.
“harry please, just listen to me, we've never talked about this, you've never got an explanation to this, please just calm, c'mon sit"
“you don't tell me what to do and what not to do? This is the last time, not another word, just step.the.fuck.out” my head is aching right now real bad and what all i can think about is anyone entering my office finding me so angry. Fuck. Especially Louis. No.
“give me a chance harry, just one” he's pleading. Like fuck me seriously? Why in the world does he has turn up here when I'm finally at the beginning of sorting things out of my life. For gods sake i was finally not regretting my decision about touching louis. I had moved on. Shit. He's making me regret my decision. I never wanted to touch Louis and ruin him with what I have been ruined with. I thought past was the past. I could move on with a better life Han ivge been living with.
But not when every time you feel everything is good your past just suddenly decides to enter in without even knocking. How cool can that be??
“i don't have any chances to fucking give it to any fucking body, you understand? Now step the fuck out” my head is spinning so bad. I need Louis to help me out but at the same time he cant be here.
“you do harry” he has the urge to speak up again.
“don't you fucking get what i say, or are you deaf or something?” he thinks he deserves my attention. He does not man he does not. My skin is burning right now. I seriously want to move out of my desk and go punch him directly in the nose, see that blood leaking down his nose.
“you gave Louis a chance harry”
what the fuck? Why did he mention Louis. How the hell does he know him?
“dont you say his name with your shitty slutty fucking mouth ,okayy??” i scream as loud as i could. Not because i was angry just because i got scared, again. Not for me. But for Louis. He knows him. Shit. That is insane. He will definitely try and cause harm to him just to try and talk to me i know that. He will want to use him against me. And for Louis? He is innocent. He doesn't even deserve to be here in between our fight.
“jealous? Huh?” what the fuck. What the fuck does he thinks of himself.
“you don't deserve any other word from me you dick, just leave, just leave” i'm tired of this shit. Of him.
“lets just talk it out c'mon” at this point i walk out of my desk towards the door past him unlocking the door,” the door is open you can leave”
“im ready to apologize harry” he speaks again. I ignore him. I don't want to talk to him. Not any more. I've said enough.
“i had reasons, i was desperate at the time!” he's not ready to leave and i don't want to touch him.
“desperate for what? Declining your offer to fuck me? Tell me more nick” i still stand by the door.
Oh fuck. I'm already late for the recording, im sued. “hey! Harry why are you still here? Your already late” Simon speaks as
he standing outside the room and then he notices nick.
Another sick fuck in my life.
“tell him to leave and i'll be there in a minute” i say bluntly to Simon like he owes me something. He doesn't but he does.
“c'mon nick out, i never gave you the permission to roam around peoples office” he says and nick walks out obeying his command.
Oh thank god for fucks sake. He's gone. I bang the door shut. I don't even care if they've left or not. I just don't want to see that fucking, fucking face of his.
Why is he even here to talk. Its all over. I'm here trying to get over things. Trying so so hard. And he's here again trying make me remind all that filth which nearly still haunts me every fucking night. I haven't slept well in weeks. Its just laying in the bed staring at the dark behind your eyes.
And for Louis all that matters is i want him safe. I don't even want him anywhere near him. I want him like kilometers away. Miles miles away from him. He doesn't deserve any of his wrath. He's not even involved in any of this.
If this fuckers somehow turns up and shows on my door i'm gonna lose my shit. This is the last chance i give him being anywhere near me and specially Louis.
I gotta go check on Louis. I take a deep breath calming down from that pathetic thing and i click open the door.
I walk to the stairs up to his floor and there is Mr. Smith coming out of his office and walks faster towards me.
“hey! Where have been harry? You're an hour late for the recording. There are clients waiting" he stops near me.
“i was uh-- ju---” i begin but he cuts me off.
“no excuses. Just run, u need to set up the studio. Hurry!!” he pulls me by my arm.
“ok” i say and turn around from going to Louis office and back wish Mr. Smith to the studio.
We walk as fast as we could and i hurry and enter the huge hall and i here loud gasps as i enter.
“ok, now calm down we're here” he says and he's already plugged in every thing for me so its doesn't get late.
“and where's your phone harry? We even tried calling you” he says as we both pick up our headphones.
"i don't know", i guess its been dead for the past few 3-4 days. I don't care” i shrug and he nods as we move forward with wearing our headphones. “ok now lets begin, i hope you've been practicing your notes, and instruments with the tune of their songs?” i ask my crew and the singers are already there inside the wooden glass studio and i show them a thumbs up.
“but don't worry, if this goes wrong we'll practice again and do a better job, but lets just try and do it in 2-3 attempt's.” i nod and look out the glass and every body nods in return agreeing to what i said.
My eyes glance over all the players sitting there and my eyes shift to the an unfamiliar place. I've been used to Louis sitting there on the stool for the pianist.
But here somebody else during there. What the fuck? My eyes look everywhere wandering around in search of Louis where he might be. But he's nowhere in the hall to be seen. Where the fuck did he go. I look more closely at the man sitting there in Louis place.
Oh fuck. i almost face palm myself. John Markel is back. i thought he had resigned or something like left the job but he was on a holiday. That is what i was told.
"Simon!” i gasp.
"is there a problem? Why aren't we starting. We are already late harry” i hear him call me but i don't wanna hear him. I wanna go look for Louis.
“harry start the recording” he nearly shouts at me keeping his voice low.
“yes sir” i bring myself back into my senses.
The day went by. Recording. What else would I be doing. But yes I was so so worried about Louis.
And coz of that i nearly got slapped on my shoulder 20 times by smith. He usually doesn't stay while I'm recording. But today he stayed. Today he had to. My crew wasn't the one making mistakes or missing notes today. I was the one who didn't pull the keys on the time at the right tone.
I think i nearly lost my clients today. I wanted to slap myself for that.
After like 7 hours of continuous recording with 5 minute breaks in between regretting not bringing my phone with me and getting beaten up. I left the office after checking into louis' office. He wasn't there.
He wasn't there nor were his things.
I even went up to Simon's office if he had any excuses to give me why he lied to me that John had already left the office rather than telling me he was on a holiday.
I nearly started up with a fight with him but i just couldn't afford to scream on people who doesn't deserve my attention any more.
I just can't keep picking up fights with all the people i hate in my life. That just can't be.
Right now all I'm worried is about Louis.
Where the fuck is he? My insides shake as it started hurting with all weird imagery that is getting into my head. But i think I'm just being paranoid. I just hope I'm paranoid.
Fuck. I feel this worry inside my stomach and its turning. I feel like throwing up.
I stand outside the office building for the valet to bring my car. As soon as my car is in front of me i run to it and hurry and drive off the road to my home.
I just hope he's home safe.
Shit. Nick was here in the office today