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LOST AND STILL FINDING(larry stylinson)

chapter 22*


Harry’s p.o.v
“did I seriously annoy him that much or did he have something else going on, in his head?” There is a 100% surety that’s something else in his head troubles him.
I’ll talk to him about that a bit later. Right now I need to finish on my writings.
I pull out the chair and sat there taking out the sheets from the drawer. The torn sheets kept inside them reminded me of that night.

*flashback*
It was 12 in the clock and I had just started writing down all the lyrics I was supposed to be writing and then my phone rang. I checked who it was and it was Simon calling. I wondered why in the night so late would he call me.

I picked up the phone,

“hello?”

“hey harry-um real sorry to disturb you so late-“

“its okay, I am still up”

“okay. Just wanted to inform you about the meeting which is gonna be in the coming week, not this one the next week after Christmas”

“so do I have to be there?”

“yeah you’ll be there.. its actually a meeting with the radio people.”

“oh..”

“so why are we organizing it? It has nothing to do with us.”

“it has. We’re sponsoring this event so it’s a real good for our company and---“

“wait, which radio are we talking about?”

“umm it-its BBC radio 1, and I guess it-its gonna be hosted by Nick Grimshaw”

“what? Wh-whats the name? “

“Nick, Nick Grimshaw..dont tell me you don’t know him”

“I do, I do—just never bothered to know the surname…”

“okay..so I guess from our company you’re gonna be representing”

“bu-but what about you?”

“ I’ll be there too, you gonna be representin..and c’mon you need some exposure now that
you’ve taken our business to heights”

“bu-but I don’t even know him..how am ---?”

“harry..not expected from you..you supposed to be there”

“send somebody else, there are other employees too”

“but you the best..and I’m not hearing anything..you’re going”

“fine..i’ll go”

“okay now. gudnite bye”

“gudnte” and I hung up the phone.

The name got me really thinking. I knew a nick..and how could I possibly forget him? The reason for my miser-ability. But I haven’t heard him anything about this from the past two years and then suddenly.. something was wrong and I got scared for a while coz if it would be him..i’m seriously just ripping him apart.

I open the google window on my phone and typed the name—nick grim—

Before I could even complete typing the pictures started to appear and the thought which scared e was actually real. He was the same guy who was the reason for everything. Once he was my best friend. The one who had been with me since kinder garden and I could only trust him the most, but what he did was just betraying.

I was so frustrated and angry and mad right now that I could smash anybody down. The pen in my hand stabbed the wooden desk several times and the sheets just couldn’t bear my anger and I threw everything on the floor. The sheets got torn, the ink bottle broke spilling the ink everywhere on the desk and the floor. the feeling made me miserable again. The regret feeling hit me again. I realized how useless I was. How could I even be living in this world. The amount of times I just hoped my life could get better, its just had something worse for me everytime.

My head started to ache badly. A thick layer of sweat covered my forehead and face. It started to drip all over through the neck.

If so much started to happen with me then how could possibly tears not fall. They started to roll down just adding to my pain. I started to feel choked and out of breath. I pull my chair back as I got up stumbling. My trembling feet were just helping me stand. I took the support of the desk to walk to the door but I just ended up catching the door handle before I could hit the ground. my head had started to pound and my heart was running faster than ever making me fell more breathless. I needed my inhaler right now, or otherwise I would be lying here in another asthma attack.

Every step I took just helped me somehow reach my room as I tried to make the least noises I could make so as to not wake Louis up.

Stumbling and tripping I reached the door of my room and opened it switching on the lights. I rushed to the night stand to look for my inhaler as I usually kept it there and luckily I just found it there. I pumped it four to five times and shook it and again repeated. Finally I was not choking and breathing but the pace wasn’t slowing down I fell back on my bed staring up at the ceiling as I thought about how unlucky I was and how could possibly every bad thing happened only to me. And whenever I think my life got atleast 1% happiness. It always has to be filled with 99% sadness.

Tears rolled down from the corners of my eyes as I shut them close.

The whole scene, the whole 6 months, the baddest, the cruelest, the devilish and what not you could call it flashed back in my head all at once breaking me into several pieces again. My eyes immediately shot open. I turned onto my stomach to stop myself from making such horrific noises I made from crying. I dug my teeth into the pillow as I dug my nails into the bed sheet.

I don’t know why but everytime I cut myself, it made me feel that some of my miser-ability went away with the blood that I would feel running out of my wrists. But in all the reality was it would add to it making me feel worse.

I got up wiping of my face which my hand as I brushed back my hair through my fingers. I went to my cupboard, opened the drawer and took out the familiar shinning thing which helped me everytime. I picked it up and brought it near to my wrist and pierced it slowly in. as the pointing thing pierced through my skin blood came out to which my tears started to roll down again. I repeated the cuts made on my wrist again and again, making several deep cuts. The thing made me feel week inside ad I fell onto the floor as the blood dripped onto the white floor. My mouth escaped moaning sounds which made rush and I got up from the floor and ran to the washroom and locked it from inside. i leaned against the sink slab as I looked down at my feet not able to gather the courage to look in the mirror at my miserable and horrific state.

I broke down again. But just helped myself from not falling onto the floor. Like everytime , there was nobody to hold me, to stop me, to caress me, to wipe off my tears and tell me, that everything was going to be fine one day but I guess my life wanted it to go the way it already was going.

I slowly raise my head up and looked into the mirror and then finally at myself. When my galce reached my eyes and I was staring into my eyes, I thought of just banging my fist into the mirror but I just stopped and looked down again.

My wrists had now started to hurt badly but that was just something usual. I turn the tap and cold water started to flow and I brought my wrists under the tap to make the blood wash away. I stared at the red water flow down and then when I was finally done I bent down to wash my face.

After some time when I came out of the washroom, I was so tired.

I went to the cupboard and noticed the stain on the floor, I wiped it off with my feet and searched for my journal inside the cupboard. I looked at the clock and it was 4:30 a.m.

I took it out and went and sat on my bed writing it.

*flash back ends
*

The whole flashback was terrifying though nothing unusual for me…it had caused me to sweat in reality and I had a thin layer of sweat on my forehead. I was feeling warm and all sweaty so I took my teeshirt off and threw it aside on the table.

So after jut brushing away the whole flashback I guess i should indeed ask Simon when is the actual meeting happening so I could mentally prepare myself for tackling him. But oh wait, its 23rd today and tom is goddamn louis’ b’day.
Shit. Shit. Shit.

But my whole thought process was broken by the sound of the door bell. I slide my chair back and walked through the hallway and reached the door. I twisted the door knob and I guess I knew who it would be.

When I opened the door, it was zayn.

“hi, what took u so long? U told me you’d be here in the morning and its 2 already.” I questioned him frowning.

He enters and seats himself on the couch as he put his feet on the table in front of him and slouched on the couch. I walk into the kitchen to get him a glass of water as I usually did for everybody else.

I hand him the glass.

“what you still haven’t answered me zayn” I ask him again and seated myself on the couch too.

“what?”he shouts, “I woke up at 12 so its still morning for me” he says as he rests his head back on the couch and shuts his eyes.

“limits zayn, anyway I guess Perrie is not back” I chuckled as i ask him.

“no she isn’t” he says his eyes still shut.

“that is why you got ur ass up here” I laughed , “otherwise u’d be breaking tables”

“thankyou, but shutup, I’m still sleepy” he grunts and slouches a little more to adjust himself.

“you’re not here to sleep” I announce as I get up to walk over to his couch.
I sat beside him and shook him so that he could wake up but I guess he wasn’t going to, but I knew what would wake him up.

“zayn, c’mon you wanna see my new artwork?” I got up pulling his arm to make him stand up, but he was too heavy.

His eyes shot open immediately and he smiled up at me. “you and artwork?” he giggles looking up at me.

“yes mine..” I said staring at him. “now c’mon lets seeeee..” I pull him and he gets up puffing.

“if it turns out to be bad you’re gonna get punched” he says grunting again as he followed me slowly and dragging his feet.

“faster” I order him as we moved through the hallway to reach my music room.

The doors were still open so I ran immediately in, forcing zayn to run behind me.

As he entered the room his eyes shot open wide, “wow harry you did this, extremely cool” he compliments and I knew he would like it.

“especially the dripping wall, that is awsum and...Wow” he walks around in the huge room scanning all the walls with the striped one, the spill one and the plain one , which still wasn’t complete.

“don’t tell me you did this all alone?” he asks me sounding curious as he turned around raising an eyebrow at me.

“no no, Louis helped me” I tell him as I shoved my hands in the pocket.

“you bitch you never let me touch them and you allowed that poor Louis” he sounded so angry this time.

But I had a reason why I wouldn’t allow him. “you always wanted to spray paint them”

“so what?” he rants.

“this is just paint” I tell him. “there is a difference” I added before he would shout at me.

“sure there is, but I would’ve made it more nicer” he walks towards me as he says that.

“I still have a wall left” I shrugged as I informed him.

As soon as he got to know what I meant, a wide smile appeared on his face, “so when can i?” he turns towards the wall to actually imagine what he is going to spray paint here.

“anytime, its all yours” I tell him smiling.

He got really excited and happy all of a sudden. “you are not as bad as I thought you were”

“yeah I know”

“so btw where’s louis?” he asks me, “did you kick him out or something?”.

That thought made me chuckle but I frowned and asked him, “why in the world would I do that?
He’s in his room, I guess”

I gestured him to go to his room and check. We both walked through the hallway to his room and before zayn could rush into his room even without knocking, I stopped him before hand.

“what ?” he irritatingly asks me when I push him back as he was about to twist the knob before entering.

“manners? You’re supposed to knock, right?” I tell him and knocked on the door twice before twisting the knob to peep in.

As I peeped in I saw Louis immediately hurry up and get up from his bed to shut his some diary and slided it in the drawer which was under the night stand.

As he looked up his frown turned into a smile but again when he looked at me I guess his facial expression tensed again.

LOUIS’ P.O.V
That knock scared me and my thought process broke. Before even I could come back to what was happening harry peeped in and I had hurry up an hide my diary before he went on and asked me what it was.

When I looked up at him I tried to behave as if everything was normal but when I saw him standing there shirtless. Oh my god. I hadn’t seen those tattoos more clearly. My heart fluttered a bit as my eyes glanced through his chest and his perfect abs. I tried to keep my calm all the way but that view didn’t seem to get away from my way.

“hey Louis” zayn waves at me breaking silence.

“oh uh..hi” I wave back. He actually helped me revive my senses, and now I was into reality though if I looked back at haz I’d probably faint.

“I saw the thing u did on the wall..thats pretty cool” he compliments but I had to take a hold of reality to remember which wall.

“..wall?” I murmured to myself, “oh wall!!” I exclaimed, “but that was just harry’s idea” I tell him.
Through the corner of my eye I could see harry weirdly staring at me and my face turned
towards him, “wh—what?” I asked him hesitating.

“I was just thinking what made you sweat?” he narrows his eyes as he asked me that question.

“yea..louis y are you sweating??” zayn too noticed.

I didn’t know what to answer but I just gestured them to sit on the bed and I noticed zayn rushing up to take the space with the backrest.

“y r u sweating?” harry repeats again as he seated him on the corner of the bed.

“uh..yeah.um I guess its kinds hot in here” I said not really.

I don’t know why but zayn giggled as he folded his legs in Indian style as his back rested on the back rest of the bed.

“I heard its your b’day tom” zayn exclaims as his glare shifted to me.

“who told you??” I asked him in surprise.

He pointed towards harry, “curly did”

“yeah I did tell him over the phone, when he called me last” harry tells me.

“so are we up for a party??” zayn asks me so excited and anxious.

“aren’t you supposed to throw a party for me?” I ask him back.

“y man..its your b’day.”he chuckles.

“see Louis..its kind of a rule in here that the new comers throw a party and we barely know you so by this you tell us who you are and all, so the next party is gonna be yours and by us”

I nod but did I have so much money to spare and oh wait by this does it mean that they’re accepting me as there friend?. “bu-but I barely know places here” I tell them confused.

“don’t worry, we decide the place and you throw the party” zayn says.

“ohh wait..what if we just do it here?” I tell zayn kind of excited with the idea.

“here?” harry asks me shocked.

“yes..here in the apartment” I confirm it with harry.

“I guess that’ll be fine by harry!! Is it?" Zayn shifts his glare towards harry’s.

“yeah okay fine” he agrees.

“anyway its gonna be just 5 of us” I inform them.

“yeah..niall and liam will surely come” zayn tells me. “even if liam doesn’t turns up, niall will definitely be here..he wont miss parties” zayn added.

I hear harry chuckle to zayn’s words and I guess by that they meant he was a foodie!

Now I think the fear of celebrating my birthday alone vanished and I was happy. i sound like a 12 year old!

Notes

guyss love your responses. just keep votingg!! vote, vote, vote please!!

Comments

Hi guys, if you are reading this fiction, please continue reading it on the new user id I have created. Which is "Boomelouu". The old one is "boomelou" The one I am using now. I shall be continuing the story there.

thankyou for all the love and support!

Boomelouu Boomelouu
6/5/20

@LizzyM101
thanks for reading and staying!

boomelou boomelou
2/9/19

@AlexxStylinosn28
Well, it has been the death of me!

boomelou boomelou
2/9/19

JASLKDJGFLSKDJG these 119 chapters are gonna be the reason i fail schools,m fkjsdhabfkljsadhgf

AlexxStylinosn28 AlexxStylinosn28
12/13/18

@boomelou
I should be thanking you for writing such an interesting story. I love how its so unique and not like the other typical stories on this site. There much more depth to it. The chapters always keep me on my toes. PS I love love this chapter and Harry is trying to be brave and intimate with Louis.

LizzyM101 LizzyM101
12/3/17