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LOST AND STILL FINDING(larry stylinson)

chapter 111

Harry's POV


Niall's wedding is two weeks from today. He's literally taken a leave for about twenty days from office and since then he's been bugging me about going to see the venue.


He's sitting in the hall throwing cushions here and there because he swore he would destroy my living room if I didn't go today.


When we returned after the whole trip and Niall wanted to sleep over tonight and right now I'm too tired to entertain Niall. Niall's never stayed over so that's made me think for a while because Laura lives two apartments away but I guess it's only because he's tired. Louis hasn't come back from wherever he went and someone just rang the bell.


Niall's lying on the couch and I'm in the kitchen making food for us. Louis. Niall and I. But the door bell rings again and this time furiously.


"Niall?!" I call out. Why isn't he opening the door? I walk out wiping my hands on the apron I'm wearing.


I find Niall snoring on the the couch. Oh my god! I walk faster towards the door. Maybe it's Louis.


I open the door and it's someone unexpected, "Hi" I say. "Why are you here?" I ask confused. Zayn is not supposed to be here.


I step back to let him enter in, "i dont know that myself. Niall called me " he shrugs and we walks to the couch.


"I don't have enough food. I was only making for three people"


"Haven't you heard about ordering? Dumb shit" he plops on the couch.


As I shut the door someone stops it, "Excuse me" says the voice. "Let me in, Harry!" I step back. Why is Liam here?


"Why is everyone here?" I didn't invite anyone.


"We aren't self invited either, Harry" Liam says as he walks to sit beside where Niall's lying.


"I don't mind you guys being here..it's just I need a reason..."


"I called them" Niall speaks, getting up from the couch and seating himself.



"You were asleep a second ago"


"Yeah I was, until you needed reasons" he sasses, "they're here because I invited them" he smiles lightly his sassy face getting covered by the laughing ass he is.


"Why?" I ask confused.


"Because it's my bachelor party!!" He chimes, screaming almost and he looks so excited as if that's all he's ever wanted in life. It's OK he can chill.
I should be sorry here. Being the best man I should've planned this and not him himslef. Who plans their own bachelor party? This is sad.


"And you know what? All this is so unfair" he turns serious. ,"you're supposed to be arranging my bachelor party and I'm the one whose doing it. You better make it up to me Harry " he crosses his arms at his chest.


"Yeah. I'm sorry. You're right....I should've done this. I'm sorry" I apologize.


He smiles knowingly, "Anyways then...Is your bar still alive?"


"Yeah ...sure it's still there. I'm gonna stop drinking so I was just going to dispose them. It's open to you guys.."


"Okay then!! Let's explore!" Niall gestures and everyone else stands up following him to the upstairs bar.


As I turn around to go back to the kitchen i hear the door knob twist again and someone enters in.


"Hi" Louis chirps even when he visibly looks a bit tired. I walk upto him as he throws his bag on the couch.


If I could say what my heart is feeling right now I'd tell you but I can't. All I can say is that I missed this. I missed him walking in that door. I missed his chirpy smile and his gullible character. I missed how complete he makes me feel. I missed how everytime I see him it feels as if the sun came out of hiding. I missed how he is so small and yet he feels so big. How my whole world revolves just around him. How my day starts with seeing his face and ends with loving him all I want.


He walks upto me and I embrace him. "It was so tiring.." He sighs as his whole body leans on me. I missed how I don't even have to ask him how his day went. He just tells me. It's something that is very overwhelming and yet something so complete, the love you feel. That someone is there in this world who loves you the same as you love them. There's nothing as being selfish here. You feel it all the time. The completeness and soulfulness and loving and caring and honesty and everything else. I love him.


I kiss him on his head and he shudders under me and squeezes himself in more. I love him.


It would've been around a minute when I say, "I missed this.." it came out more as a whisper because I don't want anyone else to hear this. Not anyone. I want us to be in the closed bubble where no evil can touch us. Nothing. Only us. I love him.


He pushes in, "You mean me?" He sighs. I can feel his lips turning into a smile on my chest. I smile too. I love him.


I nod, "More like you coming back home after work and I cooking for you..I love cooking for you." I say. I get it now. I get it. I remember how Dr Sabrina said, that when you love someone you like to do things that make them happy which in turn makes you happy. And also how she said that people like to cook out of love. And I said that I never felt like that. But now I do. Like so much. All the time. I feel it all the time. I love him.


"What are you making?" He asks giddily, "...though you smell like onions right now.." He starts to pull away but I hold him in place and close to my chest. I love him.


He giggles, "Stop! I don't want to smell like onions!" This is the cutest thing I've ever heard come out of his mouth that too when he's all lovey dovey. He doesn't feel like this all the time and he doesn't show this side to everyone. There are just certain people in his life he shows this to and I'm glad I'm one of them. I love him.


He gives up fighting and looks up, his chin resting on my chest and I look down at him. His eyes are the purest blue of the blues. He's smiling like it's something that comes naturally to him. He parts his lips and the words come out as a whisper, "Don't wait for me to tip toe. You might keep waiting forever.. " the way his lips moved in some erotic fashion, I felt as if I should capture them forever with mine but I also wanted to look at him, when his lips moved in this fashiony way so I just looked at him moving his lips. And now at the end, he smiled so bright his eyes crinkled at the corners and his eyelashes fanned his cheeks and I loved how the three freckles on his left cheek make him look star marked.


Him being this romantic would make me cum in a second but only if I knew how cumming by loving felt. But I don't. And I don't feel sorry about myself anymore because I shouldn't and yes whatever happened, happened in the past and I accept it. I accepted it even before but I couldn't just make it work and now I do. Louis loves me so much and I am more than grateful for it. I love him.


I lean down and stare at his lips as they pout, naturally. I look at his eyes, the feeling of need in them like if eyes could speak they would be saying 'I love you so much please kiss me now' or in louis' words they would say, 'now kiss me you fool' and if I think about it Louis would actually say the second line. Oh how I'd love it.


I lean in more and his chin rises up instantly, pushing his lips on mine. Oh how I love him so much. My eyes shut immediately taking his taste in with every move.


But maybe I sometimes think what it would actually feel like to kiss me? Or what it would like to be with me? Stay with me? Spend their life with me? Maybe I wouldn't know or maybe I know in every way. Maybe I know it by the way Louis treats me. By how he says he was proud of my actions of not hurting myself. And how he's treating me now.


But sometimes I also wonder how could have God decided such a future for me? What was he thinking when he put such a terrible person in my life and then such a beautiful person? How could've he done that? Maybe just to teach me a lesson about stuff I didn't know about. Maybe for stuff I always wondered but never experienced. Maybe just to keep the balance of good and bad in my life. Maybe just for other people to learn from me. I don't know what God's purpose was. But I know mine. I wanna live with him happily. Do stuff that makes me happy with him and that want makes him happy. Travels the world with him. Play with kids with him. Adopt lots and lots and kids and animals and birds and do all sorts of stuff I once wanted to or makes I never thought of. Everything in this godamn earth with him by my side. All the the time.


I'll propose to him someday. Maybe not today in this moment. But someday. Right in this place where I'm standing. Where I kissed him for the first time. I'll do it.


He kisses me again and he's so out of breath because I can feel him breathing the same air as mine.


"..Hey.." I pull away slowly, not trying to hurt and and when I've completely pulled away he's still leaning towards me his eyes shut as if he's waiting for me kiss. "..hey " I rub my thumb gently on his cheek and he opens his eyes, still half lidded as I stopped him from something too good. I look down at him and I'm in completely awe of him.. I've never looked at him so closely. With just so much detailing. Like I can feel every breath he is taking. How fast his heartbeat is. How much beat his body is releasing and look at him all flushed and ready.


He slowly looks down, his forehead gently rests on my chest and he takes a deep breath. Is he okay?


"Hey?.." I ask him softly his arms still clutched around my waist, "..are you okay?.."


He gulps, "..no..I mean.." He doesn't look up, "..yeah I'm okay." He nods squeezing me into his hug and I hold him tighter, kissing him on his head, "...I just had a moment... That's it" he shrugs.


"Why is there so much noise upstairs?" Gemma comes out of her room and Louis pulls away lightly but my hand is still on his waist.


"I don't know, who is it?" Louis asks.


"Niall self invited himself and others for a bachelor's party and I can't refuse. I'm sorry.." I shrug. I can't because I should be the one organizing it but I'm not so can't help.


"Aren't you supposed to be organizing it?" Gemma asks confused. Even though she knows.


"Yeah.." I nod


She nods back knowingly. She knows everything. She knows I wasn't in my right mind to think about stuff with effect other people. I was being selfish.



"Anyways..." Louis pulls away completely smiling, "I'm glad at least we have a party going on!"


"And you can't have any booze" I say as I look at him.


"As if you can!" he retorts sassing, his eyebrow rising up.


"I can..." I laugh, "I still can if I choose to.." I shrug and look at Gemma.


"So does that mean you're choosing not to?" Gemma asks. She looks more surprised than happy. She should be happy I'm going stop drinking.


Louis' standing by my side and I can feel his glare falling on me. I can feel his piercing look.



"I think that means yes, I'm not.." I shrug. "Anyways..I'm gonna go cook for all of you and the animals upstairs..."I laugh. I think I laugh at my own jokes, "and Lou babe.."


Louis looks at me suddenly, like he was thinking about something else and I distracted him. "Yeah?" He looks like his eyes will just pop out.


"Can..-"


"Wait.." He raises a finger stepping closer to me as if he needs to ask me something in my ear.


"What?" I ask him politely.


"You just called me babe" he scoffs but I can feel the flush coming back to his cheeks.


"Oh yeah I did.." I didn't think much when I called him babe. I feel like he deserves it. No matter what hell always be my baby. "..um is there a problem?"


"..no! No.." He slows down. "No problem.." He suddenly clutches my t-shirt by my waist in his fist. Like he's holding onto me as if I'd leave him. I wouldn't ever leave him.


He takes a deep breath. I don't know if Gemma's still there but I can't hear her do anything so I guess she isn't there. I turn around to look and yes, her room door is shut.


"Hey..are you okay? What happened?" I gently put my hand on his shoulder. He's shaking a little.


"Not-hing.." He scoffs again his hands squeezing my tshirt as hard as he can. "It's just.." He smiles as he looks up but doesn't look at me. It's hard for him to make an eye contact. "It's stupid.." he waives it off.


"No!" I say immediately, "tell me..I wanna know"


"It's just no ones ever called me babe or like baby before.." he says slowly but then quickly dismisses it, "it's because I've never had a boyfriend before.. But you know..you get it right?" He shrugs casually.


"I do.." I smile. God! He's got me wrapped around his finger. "but I've called you baby before..."


"You don't get it.." He leaves my tshirt. "You don't.." he shakes his head.


"I get it. You feel you don't deserve it, right?"


"Maybe...." He mumbles shrugging and steps back. I step closer and hold him by his waist.


"No! You totally deserve it.." I kiss him on his head. "Don't feel like this. Don't we both deserve each other? Don't you think that? Didn't I comeback to you? Didn't you come back to me?"


He slowly starts to wrap his arm around me. "I'm sorry.." He rests his head on my chest.


"Oh my god!.." I sigh, "no! I'm sorry I made you feel like you don't deserve this. I'm sorry"


"No!" He mumbles "don't do this..its fine. We're back, as you said, and that's more than I'll ever want"


"No! I need to get this off my chest because I've been worse than I ever could imagine myself to be. I was disgusted with myself with the way I treated you in the past month"


"You weren't there with me Harry. How would've you treated me?" He pulls away to look up at me, shocked.


"That is why. I wasn't with you and I left you at the beach-"


"Wait! I left you at the beach"


"No I did...because you even contacted me once at the party. You came to me. I didn't. I didn't even try to stop you or make you stay. I should've."


"Why are we having this conversation?" He rolls his eyes.


"For closure"


"Oh.....Okay. Did you find it?" He sasses. He didn't like this. He doesn't like when we put feelings into words and it's making him worried and he's trying to end this conversation here.


"Yeah like only a little bit. I'll make it up to you, I promise" I swear I will.


"I'm sure" he turns around to walk away.



Notes

well i have my exams coming up and that's why i was absent from here and that's why i wrote an incomplete kind of a chapter. i might not post for a while because i have my exams but i'll surely bring a surprise chapter sometime!!

anyways how you guys doing?!

please do comment about the chapter, would love to know if you like it or not!
lots of love <3

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Comments

Hi guys, if you are reading this fiction, please continue reading it on the new user id I have created. Which is "Boomelouu". The old one is "boomelou" The one I am using now. I shall be continuing the story there.

thankyou for all the love and support!

Boomelouu Boomelouu
6/5/20

@LizzyM101
thanks for reading and staying!

boomelou boomelou
2/9/19

@AlexxStylinosn28
Well, it has been the death of me!

boomelou boomelou
2/9/19

JASLKDJGFLSKDJG these 119 chapters are gonna be the reason i fail schools,m fkjsdhabfkljsadhgf

AlexxStylinosn28 AlexxStylinosn28
12/13/18

@boomelou
I should be thanking you for writing such an interesting story. I love how its so unique and not like the other typical stories on this site. There much more depth to it. The chapters always keep me on my toes. PS I love love this chapter and Harry is trying to be brave and intimate with Louis.

LizzyM101 LizzyM101
12/3/17