Destruction (Harry Styles Fan fiction)
Chapter 8
Harry's POV
I kissed her.
I can't actually believe I kissed her.
In some ways I regret it, but Jenna didn't push me off, if she had I would have totally understood.
Technically we didn't kiss but our lips touched which for me is good enough.
I know that I must sound like a teenage boy talking about some silly little crush he had on a girl, but I am genuinely happy and -in a strange way- proud of myself for kissing her.
I just hoped she was okay about it, she seemed to keep her feelings inside a lot and I was hoping she would let them out.
The hot water ran over my body as I stood in the shower, releasing the tenseness from my muscles and relaxing me a little more, I was going to have to talk to her once I got out of the shower, we were sharing a room together as much as she hated it.
I finished showering and got dressed as fast as I could, I rubbed a towel over my head and pushed my hair back into place, it was damp but it dried fast.
I opened the bathroom door and walked out into our room.
Jenna was sat on the bed watching TV, her shoes were on the floor along with her jacket whilst she sat on the bed wearing her jeans and grey t-shirt.
She didn't even glance at me as I sat on the bed next to her. "Alright?" I asked as I swung both of my legs up and onto the bed to sit in the same position as her.
She nodded.
"Do you wanna talk about it?"
"No, I don't want to fucking talk about it. I don't feel anything towards you, we will never be together." She snapped.
Jenna moved forward and turned to face me.
"I can't do this again, I'm sorry." She murmured. Jenna brought a hand up to her eyes and rubbed over them before placing her hand back on her lap and knotting her fingers together.
"Tell me whats wrong." I replied. I moved towards Jenna and wrapped my arms around her. She struggled at first but the lent into my chest and sobbed.
"Have you ever been in love before?" She asked in between sobs.
I shook my head. I had loved some of the girls that I had been out with in the past, but I had never been in love so deeply that they were the only thing I wanted in the whole world.
"I have been in love before." Jenna sobbed. "And it destroyed me" I tried to console the crying girl beneath me as much as I could, but I knew that getting her to open up and let her guard down was going to be harder than I had intended.
*****************
Jenna's POV
I was angry with myself for breaking down in front of Harry like that. I had shown my vulnerable side and because of that I had to get out.
I left the room and made my way to the hotel reception. On my way I passed a few families, the children clinging onto their parents sides desperately asking them for chocolate of some sort, only to be scolded by the mother or father and told they had had enough chocolate already.
I arrived at the reception and sat down at the grand piano in the middle of the lobby. It was plain white but grand all the same. My fingers found their ways to the keys and I began to play. I hadn't played the piano in about 4 years but as my fingers passed over the keys, I began to feel more and more like the 18 year old girl that I used to be. Before I became who I am today.
It was strange thinking about how much I have changed since then, I used to be timid and quiet, but I have become more confident and I am able to stand on my own two feet.
My thoughts diverted back to kissing Harry as I finished playing, there was something about him that was different. He didn't seem to be selfish and a liar like the other guys I knew or had dated in the past. But he was similar to one of them, the one I had been in love with before was just like Harry. That was the reason I couldn't stand him or be in the same room as him for more than a few hours. Now I had to share a room with him.
*****************************
After walking around the hotel for two more hours, I decided it was time to return to the hotel and confront Harry about our kiss earlier. I knocked on the door softly before greeting Harry with a smile and setting my bag on the floor just inside of the room. Harry walked through the hotel room to the bed and plopped down on the edge, sighing.
"So, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry, I- um, I didn't know that you were fragile on that subject." Harry stuttered, running his hands across his face. I nodded before sitting down next to Harry and groaning.
"Thanks. Just don't bring it up again. Okay?" I sighed and looked out the window to my left.
Harry's warm hand found mine and I turned to see him with concern in his eyes. "If you ever need to talk to me. And I mean ever, Jenna. Then please do, I want to help you." He gave me a small smile and let go of my hand before standing up and walking into the bathroom.
My feet followed after him and I found myself pressed against the door frame as he got out his shaving foam and razor. "Thank you, Harry." I smiled.
Harry smiled back at me and then filled the sink with water. I sat up on the counter and watched as he applied the shaving foam to his face and slid the razor across his skin.
"Can I have a go?" I asked, Harry passed me his razor and I dipped it in the water before pressing it to his skin and moving it in a straight line.
"You're good at this." Harry smirked, I had done this a hundred times before, not only on my legs but I had shaved my fair share of males faces. "I used to shave my brother's face when I still lived at home."
"You have a brother?" Harry asked as I swiped the razor across his face once again. I nodded. My brother was only 2 years younger than me, but we had a special bond and he was absolutely gutted when I announced I was leaving home and moving to London with Leigh.
"His name is Caleb. Only two years younger than me but, yeah.. He kinda hasn't spoken to me since I moved here. He was a bit pissed off that I left him with Mum, but I couldn't stay there anymore. Too many bad people and bad memories."
Harry's eyes shot up, I knew he was going to ask me about the 'bad memories and bad people' but I raised my eyebrows at him before he could respond and ask me about my horrible past.
"I have a sister." He said quickly. "Gemma, she's like 3 year's older than me, got a little boy. Jack, his name is, proper cutie."
"I've always wanted to be an auntie." I sighed, It's not that Caleb was too young to have a girlfriend. He was gay and he didn't really like children to be honest, he would 'rather buy a dog' or so he has told me in the past.
"You'd make a great Aunt." Harry chimed as he took the razor from my hand and wiped over his face, making sure to clean off every bit of shaving foam. I smiled at his reply, I'd hoped I would be a good aunt. I just wasn't involved in a lot of children's lives, so I wouldn't know what it's like.
"Have you spoken to Leigh and Jake?" I asked, I hadn't spoken to Leigh all day and that was odd. We always spoke to each other whether we were together or not, but today we had barely even seen each other, apart from on the flight here.
"No, haven't seen them since earlier. Their headboard was banging though. I had to turn my iPod on full blast." Harry scrunched his nose up and followed me into the bedroom and sat on the bed again, we propped our backs up against the headboard as Harry flicked on the tv remote.
"Whore's." I groaned, causing Harry to suppress a laugh from his chapped lips.
**************
An hour later we were seated in a posh restaurant in the middle of the village. The sun was beginning to set and the restaurant had a perfect ocean view.
Jake and Leigh had decided to stop fucking and join us for the meal.
"So how has your day been Harry, Jenna? Did you go anywhere." Leigh asked, I glanced to my side to see Harry shrug his shoulders.
"We didn't do anything really. I stayed in the hotel room and Jenna went for a wander around the resort." He smiled, Harry truly amazes me how he can have a smile on his face even when he's bored.
I just sat there with a scowl across my face.
"Something wrong?" Leigh questioned.
"Yeah, I'm pissed off that you forced me to share a room with this wanker-" I pointed towards Harry. "- I know you're only doing it because you think we will get together, but we fucking won't. I'm sorry I'm always in your hair Leigh because I'm never out and shit, I really am but just because you think I'm lonely doesn't give you the fucking right to try and set me up with someone I barely know, or anyone for that matter."
Leigh sat there in a pure state of shock as I got up from my chair and stormed off down the hallway to the toilets, cursing as I trudged through the crowd of people sat at their tables.
The toilet consisted of four cubicles and some patchy paintwork, I entered the cubicle at the end and sat down on the lid of the toilet, tears leaking out of my eyes.
I have cried too much today.
Harry's POV
I wanted to run after Jenna this time. I honestly did, but she needed time alone and I had to give that to her.
"Way to fucking go Leigh. I told you she wouldn't be able to be nice for one moment on this fucking trip. You never should have invited her." Jake snarled.
"How is this my fault? She the one who's practically fucking bipolar." Leigh hissed, she stood up and threw her napkin on the table before running off towards the toilets.
"I don't know how you can deal with that bitch Harry. I really don't." Jake chuckled.
"She isn't a bitch. I won't have you talk about Jenna in that way, she has been through a lot of shit in her life okay." I fumed. My knuckles turned white as I clenched the edge of the table and Jake stared at me in shock before rolling his eyes.
"Whatever mate. She is still a bitch though."
I had to stop everything in me from punching him straight in the face, so instead I shoved the table at his chest, stood up and ran to the girls toilets, my ear resting on the door outside.
"He kissed me Leigh."
"It's okay Jen"
"I can't fall in love again. You of all people know what happen to me last time."
"It won't happen again Jen. The same thing won't happen again, don't you worry."
"I don't want to loose him, like I lost James."
"James, wasn't your fault. It wasn't anyone's fault."
"I know that, but Harry reminds me of James. I don't know how much I can take before I crack."
I pushed myself away from the door before I could hear anymore of their conversation.
Who was James? Was he who she was in love with? Did she like me?
So many questions were running through my mind as I ran out of the restaurant, the hot spanish air warming me up instantly.
Today had been mad, Jenna had broken down in front of me after we kissed and she has broken down yet again in this goddamn restaurant of all places. I wanted to help her but I would only be able to if she told me about this James guy, or whoever he was for that matter.
I arrived back at the hotel room a few minutes later.
I made my way to the bed and tucked myself in, not even bothering to change my clothes.
Then I blacked out.
I kissed her.
I can't actually believe I kissed her.
In some ways I regret it, but Jenna didn't push me off, if she had I would have totally understood.
Technically we didn't kiss but our lips touched which for me is good enough.
I know that I must sound like a teenage boy talking about some silly little crush he had on a girl, but I am genuinely happy and -in a strange way- proud of myself for kissing her.
I just hoped she was okay about it, she seemed to keep her feelings inside a lot and I was hoping she would let them out.
The hot water ran over my body as I stood in the shower, releasing the tenseness from my muscles and relaxing me a little more, I was going to have to talk to her once I got out of the shower, we were sharing a room together as much as she hated it.
I finished showering and got dressed as fast as I could, I rubbed a towel over my head and pushed my hair back into place, it was damp but it dried fast.
I opened the bathroom door and walked out into our room.
Jenna was sat on the bed watching TV, her shoes were on the floor along with her jacket whilst she sat on the bed wearing her jeans and grey t-shirt.
She didn't even glance at me as I sat on the bed next to her. "Alright?" I asked as I swung both of my legs up and onto the bed to sit in the same position as her.
She nodded.
"Do you wanna talk about it?"
"No, I don't want to fucking talk about it. I don't feel anything towards you, we will never be together." She snapped.
Jenna moved forward and turned to face me.
"I can't do this again, I'm sorry." She murmured. Jenna brought a hand up to her eyes and rubbed over them before placing her hand back on her lap and knotting her fingers together.
"Tell me whats wrong." I replied. I moved towards Jenna and wrapped my arms around her. She struggled at first but the lent into my chest and sobbed.
"Have you ever been in love before?" She asked in between sobs.
I shook my head. I had loved some of the girls that I had been out with in the past, but I had never been in love so deeply that they were the only thing I wanted in the whole world.
"I have been in love before." Jenna sobbed. "And it destroyed me" I tried to console the crying girl beneath me as much as I could, but I knew that getting her to open up and let her guard down was going to be harder than I had intended.
*****************
Jenna's POV
I was angry with myself for breaking down in front of Harry like that. I had shown my vulnerable side and because of that I had to get out.
I left the room and made my way to the hotel reception. On my way I passed a few families, the children clinging onto their parents sides desperately asking them for chocolate of some sort, only to be scolded by the mother or father and told they had had enough chocolate already.
I arrived at the reception and sat down at the grand piano in the middle of the lobby. It was plain white but grand all the same. My fingers found their ways to the keys and I began to play. I hadn't played the piano in about 4 years but as my fingers passed over the keys, I began to feel more and more like the 18 year old girl that I used to be. Before I became who I am today.
It was strange thinking about how much I have changed since then, I used to be timid and quiet, but I have become more confident and I am able to stand on my own two feet.
My thoughts diverted back to kissing Harry as I finished playing, there was something about him that was different. He didn't seem to be selfish and a liar like the other guys I knew or had dated in the past. But he was similar to one of them, the one I had been in love with before was just like Harry. That was the reason I couldn't stand him or be in the same room as him for more than a few hours. Now I had to share a room with him.
*****************************
After walking around the hotel for two more hours, I decided it was time to return to the hotel and confront Harry about our kiss earlier. I knocked on the door softly before greeting Harry with a smile and setting my bag on the floor just inside of the room. Harry walked through the hotel room to the bed and plopped down on the edge, sighing.
"So, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry, I- um, I didn't know that you were fragile on that subject." Harry stuttered, running his hands across his face. I nodded before sitting down next to Harry and groaning.
"Thanks. Just don't bring it up again. Okay?" I sighed and looked out the window to my left.
Harry's warm hand found mine and I turned to see him with concern in his eyes. "If you ever need to talk to me. And I mean ever, Jenna. Then please do, I want to help you." He gave me a small smile and let go of my hand before standing up and walking into the bathroom.
My feet followed after him and I found myself pressed against the door frame as he got out his shaving foam and razor. "Thank you, Harry." I smiled.
Harry smiled back at me and then filled the sink with water. I sat up on the counter and watched as he applied the shaving foam to his face and slid the razor across his skin.
"Can I have a go?" I asked, Harry passed me his razor and I dipped it in the water before pressing it to his skin and moving it in a straight line.
"You're good at this." Harry smirked, I had done this a hundred times before, not only on my legs but I had shaved my fair share of males faces. "I used to shave my brother's face when I still lived at home."
"You have a brother?" Harry asked as I swiped the razor across his face once again. I nodded. My brother was only 2 years younger than me, but we had a special bond and he was absolutely gutted when I announced I was leaving home and moving to London with Leigh.
"His name is Caleb. Only two years younger than me but, yeah.. He kinda hasn't spoken to me since I moved here. He was a bit pissed off that I left him with Mum, but I couldn't stay there anymore. Too many bad people and bad memories."
Harry's eyes shot up, I knew he was going to ask me about the 'bad memories and bad people' but I raised my eyebrows at him before he could respond and ask me about my horrible past.
"I have a sister." He said quickly. "Gemma, she's like 3 year's older than me, got a little boy. Jack, his name is, proper cutie."
"I've always wanted to be an auntie." I sighed, It's not that Caleb was too young to have a girlfriend. He was gay and he didn't really like children to be honest, he would 'rather buy a dog' or so he has told me in the past.
"You'd make a great Aunt." Harry chimed as he took the razor from my hand and wiped over his face, making sure to clean off every bit of shaving foam. I smiled at his reply, I'd hoped I would be a good aunt. I just wasn't involved in a lot of children's lives, so I wouldn't know what it's like.
"Have you spoken to Leigh and Jake?" I asked, I hadn't spoken to Leigh all day and that was odd. We always spoke to each other whether we were together or not, but today we had barely even seen each other, apart from on the flight here.
"No, haven't seen them since earlier. Their headboard was banging though. I had to turn my iPod on full blast." Harry scrunched his nose up and followed me into the bedroom and sat on the bed again, we propped our backs up against the headboard as Harry flicked on the tv remote.
"Whore's." I groaned, causing Harry to suppress a laugh from his chapped lips.
**************
An hour later we were seated in a posh restaurant in the middle of the village. The sun was beginning to set and the restaurant had a perfect ocean view.
Jake and Leigh had decided to stop fucking and join us for the meal.
"So how has your day been Harry, Jenna? Did you go anywhere." Leigh asked, I glanced to my side to see Harry shrug his shoulders.
"We didn't do anything really. I stayed in the hotel room and Jenna went for a wander around the resort." He smiled, Harry truly amazes me how he can have a smile on his face even when he's bored.
I just sat there with a scowl across my face.
"Something wrong?" Leigh questioned.
"Yeah, I'm pissed off that you forced me to share a room with this wanker-" I pointed towards Harry. "- I know you're only doing it because you think we will get together, but we fucking won't. I'm sorry I'm always in your hair Leigh because I'm never out and shit, I really am but just because you think I'm lonely doesn't give you the fucking right to try and set me up with someone I barely know, or anyone for that matter."
Leigh sat there in a pure state of shock as I got up from my chair and stormed off down the hallway to the toilets, cursing as I trudged through the crowd of people sat at their tables.
The toilet consisted of four cubicles and some patchy paintwork, I entered the cubicle at the end and sat down on the lid of the toilet, tears leaking out of my eyes.
I have cried too much today.
Harry's POV
I wanted to run after Jenna this time. I honestly did, but she needed time alone and I had to give that to her.
"Way to fucking go Leigh. I told you she wouldn't be able to be nice for one moment on this fucking trip. You never should have invited her." Jake snarled.
"How is this my fault? She the one who's practically fucking bipolar." Leigh hissed, she stood up and threw her napkin on the table before running off towards the toilets.
"I don't know how you can deal with that bitch Harry. I really don't." Jake chuckled.
"She isn't a bitch. I won't have you talk about Jenna in that way, she has been through a lot of shit in her life okay." I fumed. My knuckles turned white as I clenched the edge of the table and Jake stared at me in shock before rolling his eyes.
"Whatever mate. She is still a bitch though."
I had to stop everything in me from punching him straight in the face, so instead I shoved the table at his chest, stood up and ran to the girls toilets, my ear resting on the door outside.
"He kissed me Leigh."
"It's okay Jen"
"I can't fall in love again. You of all people know what happen to me last time."
"It won't happen again Jen. The same thing won't happen again, don't you worry."
"I don't want to loose him, like I lost James."
"James, wasn't your fault. It wasn't anyone's fault."
"I know that, but Harry reminds me of James. I don't know how much I can take before I crack."
I pushed myself away from the door before I could hear anymore of their conversation.
Who was James? Was he who she was in love with? Did she like me?
So many questions were running through my mind as I ran out of the restaurant, the hot spanish air warming me up instantly.
Today had been mad, Jenna had broken down in front of me after we kissed and she has broken down yet again in this goddamn restaurant of all places. I wanted to help her but I would only be able to if she told me about this James guy, or whoever he was for that matter.
I arrived back at the hotel room a few minutes later.
I made my way to the bed and tucked myself in, not even bothering to change my clothes.
Then I blacked out.
Notes
YOOO here is a long ass chapter... dont forget to read it on wattpad, cause i update there firsttt and follow me on tumblr sterlingstyles.tumblr.com x
