Fix Me (Liam Payne Fanfic)
I woke up the next morning not knowing when I even fell asleep, I rub my face to wake myself up and sit up to see that Callie wasn’t there, instead she left note for me so I wouldn’t freak out -which I would because she always tells me where she goes- "Left to hang out with Zayn for the day, I’ll be back late tonight. Don’t get worried, I will call you when I'm coming back, love call xox" the letter said. I put it back down and went back to bed not wanting to think about today, I just wanted to stay in bed and not think about anything or anyone because for once, I got the place to myself with no one talking to me when I didn’t want to talk and had complete silence.
"Thank you Zayn" I said to myself as I went under the covers and slept for a little while longer. After 2 hours of sleep, all I kept hearing is my phone buzzing. I pick up my phone and see messages, more messages than a person should get in 2 hours and it all said the same thing "I'm coming" from Marcus. Without thinking I got out of bed and put my shoes on, grabbed my bag and left the dorm so fast that I don’t even think I remember changing my clothes, I was just an a weird girl running around campus in her pajamas looking like a crazy person.
Half way to the drive way I remember that Callie had the car and instantly started to panic, I didn't know what to do, I didn't know where to run to, the only thing I could do was just sit on the pavement with my legs to my chest and crying.
"I can't do this, I can't do it." I kept saying to myself, having a panic attack and feeling like a complete freak breaking down in the middle of campus.
"Skylar?..." I heard someone say, hearing them getting closer. I got up quickly turning around to see who it was, trying not to freak out, and there he was with most worried look on his face as he looked at me.
"Are you okay, what were you doing?" Liam asked, sounding worried.
"I need–I need to leave, I can't leave Callie took the car. I can't be here, I can't, I can't" I kept saying, mumbling my words and covering my face trying not to cry in front of him.
"Hey, Hey…calm down, ok, breathe…come with me, I'll take you wherever you want." he put his arm around my shoulder, pulling me close to him giving me the biggest hug I've ever had, and for a second I knew everything would be okay.
I zoned out for a bit while I sat there in his car looking out the window, feeling so completely empty inside but also scared at the same time. I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t know what to think or how I was going to fix this or even run away from it, all I knew was that I couldn’t let him find me because if he did, this time…I wouldn’t make it.
“Hey, you okay?...” He asked me calmly, but I didn’t respond. He pulled the car over to a spot up the hill overlooking the town.
“This is where I come to think.” He said as he opened the door and got out. Without thinking I did the same, I sat down in front of the car with him seeing the view and kept quiet.
“Say something, please?” he said in a low worried tone of voice.
“I don’t have anything to say.” I mumbled back,
“There you go, I just wanted to hear your voice for a second. Want to tell me what happened back there?” he said as he turned facing me,
“No.” I replied bluntly
L: “Why not?”
S: “Because it’s none of anyone’s business. People have their moments and I had mine, you just happened to be there"
I don't know what more I could say to him. I was making up as much excuses as I possibly could to avoid telling him the reason, but all he did was just stare at me.
Her eyes lied, her smile was fake and the way she talked you could just tell that she didn’t have the energy for it anymore. I didn’t know what to say to her, after the snapped at me I decided to not say another word but sit there with her and look out at the view.
2 hours went by and all I had heard the whole time was the cars, the wind and her phone buzzing none stop but she didn’t pick it up.
"Are you going to answer it?" I asked her, but all she did was shake her head. I didn’t know what more to do in order to figure her out or try and help her.
"I cant help you if you don’t tell me what's wrong skylar.." I said
"I never asked you to help me, you just volunteered" she replied very bluntly
after that, I just shook my head and got back up, going back into my car and she followed me back.
"Take me to a hotel please" she said,
"Why a hotel? you have a room" I replied,
"Can you just take me without having to play 20 questions with me?" she replied, with an angry tone. I didn’t say anything else just started the car and drove until we found a hotel.
"Thanks, ill see you later" she said as she got out of the car.
"Hey, wait a second, why are you even staying here?" I asked
"It doesn’t really matter, I'm fine here on my own." she replied
"On your own? stop acting like no one is trying to help you?" I say, getting angry
"Like I said before Liam, I never asked for you to help me and I'm sure not asking anyone else. so thank you and goodbye" she said, walking away from me and going to her room.
"Wait a second" I quickly said before she went into her room,
"you cant just say that, making me sound like a bad guy here when I didn’t do anything to you" I continued, and all I saw was her just looking down.
"Alright, then I am very sorry...goodnight Liam" she said, closing the door behind her and just like that, the conversation was over, and so was the rest of the day.
The entire day all I thought about was how i can possibly lose myself so much in less than a month, how I could possibly go this insane and over think to the point that I just wanted to scream.
I'm not okay
I'm not going to be ok
everything's a mess
my mind is not working
everything is a constant reminder of him
everything kills me
I'm fucked up, I get it I've been told enough and I am so damn sick of it.
I stayed in bed the whole day not saying a word to anyone, turned off my phone.
I woke up in the middle of the night in a panic, looking around the room thinking someone was watching me, when there was no one there, "I'm going insane" I quietly said to myself then laying back down on the bed. For about an hour I just looked at the ceiling, not knowing how to fall back asleep because I was wide awake. I got up out of the bed and grabbed my phone and keys, left the room in my robe and of course I looked like a complete idiot as well there's no doubt about that, but I didn’t seem to care at all. I walked out and went outside, all I could see was an empty campus and mostly silence. I was happy that I went to college far away from the city, so when it came to school breaks, everyone would have left. I went and just laid down on the grass, looking up at the sky and seeing the stars and how nice they looked and for a moment, I forgot that I was hurting inside.