Monday came quickly which meant I had to have a conversation with Hayden that I was both avoiding and dreading all weekend and all morning. I knew she was going to ask me about the party, I knew she’d stand up for Tate when I’d tell her he ditched me, and I knew she’d come up with some reason for me to be in the wrong for leaving with Harry. There was no point in having a discussion about the party with her when I already could predict the whole thing. Still, I had to sit through the pointless conversation that I didn’t want to be part of.


“I doubt he ditched you,” Hayden scoffed as we stood in the lunch line, and I was digging through the backpack that Blake let me borrow for my wallet. “He’s too nice for that shit. He was probably just so drunk that he forgot where he left you.”

Maybe she’s right. Tate does seem too sweet to intentionally leave me all by myself in a setting like that. It’s possible that he was just trying to politely find an escape from me then, right? That’s basically the same thing, but I can’t help but see it that way. I don’t even think he was that drunk, so he must’ve tried to get away. Who could blame him?

She continued her rant, “You shouldn’t have left the party without searching for him. He was probably worried about you.”

“He never texted me back,” I argued.

Once I fished my wallet out, I unzipped it in search for dollar bills to pay for my food while Hayden continued to defend the buff boy, “Ever heard of a hangover?” Unfortunately, due to my distracted mind thinking about this dreadful discussion, I had forgotten to grab my lunch money off of the counter at the house.

“I didn’t realize hangovers lasted a full twenty-four hours,” I replied sarcastically. “Do you have any cash? I left mine at home?”

She shook her head and held up the store-bought burrito she brought from her house, “No, because I brought this. You should’ve told me when you picked me up. I would’ve gotten something for you to eat.” I sighed and looked through my change to see if I could afford anything on the menu. “And you left the party with Harry of all people,” Hayden slapped her hand against her thigh. “How do you think Tate will feel knowing that you left with another guy that you’re stupidly attracted to?"

“First,” I stopped what I was doing and pointed my index finger towards her, “Tate won’t care because he doesn’t like me. Second,” I held up another finger, "I’m allowed to hang out with whomever I want, and it just so happened that Harry asked me to go for a walk with him. Sue me.”

“You still shouldn’t have left him,” she grumbled.

“Yeah, but Tate was the one who invited me in the first place. Don’t you think he could’ve had the decency to stick around?”

“He was drunk,” she dragged her words as if they weren’t already engraved in my brain from the first ten times she’s mentioned it.

“He obviously doesn’t care as much as you think he does. They never do,” I said that last part quietly, and I pulled out three quarters from my wallet. “Damn it. All I can afford is a cookie.” Last time I checked, school cookies aren’t gluten-free.

“Why are you always so down on yourself?” her face twisted with frustration. “Why do you listen to what those other dickheads have said to you?”

My gaze fell to my feet and I stared at them with mixed emotions: anger towards the guys who treated me like shit and hurt from the names guys have called me that’ll forever replay in my head. “Because it’s true, okay?” I mumbled.

“No, it’s not.”

I snapped my head up to glare at her. “Can we just talk about something else?” I asked just before stepping forward in line and heard a loud squishing noise as my foot hit something mushy. I pulled my foot up to reveal many strands of green gum connecting the bottom of my shoe to the concrete. “Fuck,” I growled and dragged my foot across the gum-less part of the ground. “This day is just getting better and better.”

Her expression softened, as did her voice when she said, “You know Harry’s the type of guy who’ll treat you like the others did, right?”

“No, I don’t know that. I don’t even know if Tate will be like that,” I snapped lowly as I repeatedly tried scraping the gum off of my shoe with the ground.

“It’s true though. Harry will.”

“Hayden,” I groaned and stepped forward in line. “At least Harry stuck around with me. That’s all I ask for.”

She shrugged, “His date probably ditched him.”

“Doesn’t matter. What matters to me is that he was there when I was by myself, and we left that hellhole,” I sighed once I finished speaking, and decided to give up on removing the gum.

We fell silent as I ordered my cookie and paid for it. Both of us know this argument is stupid, and it’s only going to continue going in circles. Like I’ve mentioned before, it’s a pointless conversation.

As we walked towards a table, she spoke up once again, “So you really ran away when you saw someone hurl?”

I whipped my head up to see her smug expression, and I rolled my eyes before laughing, “Yes, I really did.”

“It’s weird because you didn’t used to always be like that,” she looked up at the sky as if she was envisioning us as kids again. “Whenever I got sick, you would always have the sudden curiosity to ask me-“

I interrupted her trip to memory lane by waving my arms around and saying, “Alright, stop right there. We do not need to talk about that.”

“Okay, fine. Let’s talk about you dancing with Tate then,” she smirked, and I frustratingly ran a hand through my hair and held the tangled mess in my fingers. “You liked dancing with him, didn’t you?” she eagerly spoke as she nudged her elbow against my side.

I nodded and kept my annoyed gaze towards the table as we sat down, “Yes. That was probably the highlight of the party. The after party at the playground was even more fun though,” I shot her a smug look, and she overly exaggerated a groan.

“Don’t say I never warned you,” she frowned at her burrito.

“I never do.”

---

As I walked towards my sixth period, the smile on my face couldn’t control its growth as thoughts of Harry and I on the swing set played in my mind. I knew he’d be telling me to just give him an A on his agenda since we hung out, and that means we’re friends now. He’s going to hide his paper from me and not let me see it, and he’s going to annoy the shit out of me, but I was honestly anxious to get to that.

That was until a hand gently wrapping around my wrist had stopped me just down the hallway from Mrs. Cross’s classroom, and I turned around to see a frowning Tate.

“Do you have a minute?” he asked, and I nodded. I had walked so fast to class that I probably still had the full five minute warning left before class began. “I wanted to apologize about the party.”

“Why?” I furrowed my brows even though I sure as hell knew what he meant. I just wanted to hear it. No guy has ever apologized to me for being in the wrong, so I had to hear this.

He sighed sadly, “I left you all by yourself. That was so stupid of me. I was going to text you, but I figured I owed it to you to say sorry in person. I should’ve waited until you left to get drunk.” My eyes widened, and he immediately shook his head afterwards and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Scratch that,” he chuckled nervously. “I shouldn’t have gotten drunk at all.”

“Hey,” I let out a small giggle and squeezed his bicep comfortingly, letting my touch linger a little longer than it should have. “It’s okay.”

“You’re not mad at me or anything? I feel like you made up the whole parents thing and just left because I’m a jerk and-“

I cut him off with more laughter, and he looked so confused. “Tate, it’s really okay. I definitely had to leave.” So that I could get away from that uncomfortable place, I thought. “Seriously though, it’s not a big deal.”

“Yes it is,” he insisted with a groan. “Can I take you out sometime to make it up to you?” He didn’t even let me answer as he continued to spit out questions, “Somewhere where alcohol isn’t involved? Maybe the movies or something? Or we could g-”

“Yes.”

His mouth fell open in shock, “Y-Yes?”

“Yes,” I giggled. He’s so cute when he’s nervous, but I can’t bear to allow him to torture himself with his own rambling. Plus, a night out with just Tate and no alcohol sounds like fun. “I’d love to hang out with you sometime.”

“Okay then,” he let out a shaky laugh. “I’ll text you then. See you in class tomorrow?”

I nodded and waved, “Goodbye, Tatums.”

“You’ll never let me live that one down, will you?”

“Never,” I smirked before walking away and heading to class. He actually apologized. Tate became three of my firsts.

---

Unfortunately, my prediction about Harry was completely wrong. I expected the usual smiley, happy guy sitting at his desk chatting away with Kameron, but instead, I saw him sat at his desk, furrowing his brows at his agenda and not speaking to anybody. In fact, he had isolated himself to a desk that was farthest from the other students in the classroom, yet it was pretty close to mine.

When I made my rounds, checking agendas, I decided to start with Harry first. I had high hopes that he’d want to speak to me since he was sitting closer to me, and considering we hung out at the party, he’d categorize us as friends now.

“Can I see your agenda?” I smiled warmly at the green-eyed boy. He didn’t look up at me or even attempt to talk, he just continued staring blankly at the desk. “Okay?” I spoke slowly and cautiously. Everything was fine two days ago when we sat on the swing set, laughing away, and now he’s suddenly pretending like I’m not even there. I don’t think I’ve ever been more puzzled before in my life.

I hovered over his shoulder to read the agenda without his help, and I gave him a five out of five, like he had earned, as I kept speaking to him, “I never thanked you, by the way. I was having an awful time at that party, and you pretty much saved my night. So, thanks.”

Once I looked up at him again and noticed he still hadn’t budged, it felt as if every organ in my body had fallen limp into my stomach. “Um, are you okay?” I placed my hand onto his shoulder out of concern, only to have him shrug it away and finally look up at me with a scowl.

“Okay, geez,” I held up my hands in defense. “Didn’t realize it was a crime to care,” I mumbled under my breath, and he rolled his eyes before looking back down at his desk.

“Just leave me alone,” he eventually let out.

I let out a small sigh that I prayed he didn’t hear and said, “Whatever,” before turning away from him to continue my work.

I can’t believe I let myself think he’d actually want to speak to me of all people. I know it seemed that way before, but he’s no different from any other guy that plays tricks on me. I literally got my hopes up for nothing. Why did I think he actually wanted to be friends with me?

“Devon,” Naomi caught my attention as I jotted down her score for her agenda. “Did I see you speaking to Tate Adams in the hallway?”

“Um, yeah?” I was confused as to why she cared.

Ian straightened up in his seat and nodded, “No way. You’re friends with Mr. Awesome?”

“Mr. Awesome?” I snickered.

Naomi rolled her eyes and waved her hand dismissively at the pierced boy, “Don’t listen to him. He’s just jealous,” she stuck her tongue out at him and he flipped her off with a chuckle falling from his lips. “I think it’s really cool you’re friends with him. Maybe you can help fill me in on all the gossip.”

I laughed, “Well, we don’t particularly gossip. He is a guy after all.”

“Well, at least fill in the blanks for me from what I’ve heard,” she moved her curly hair from one shoulder to the other.

“And what would it be that you heard?”

“Someone told me that he slept with Leah Skidmore at her own party on Saturday,” she wiggled her eyebrows. I felt my heart drop to my stomach and my smile fade.

Ian bumped his shoulder against Naomi’s, “Oh come on. You can’t tell me you actually believe those rumors.”

She shrugged, “Well, we don’t know if they are rumors. That’s the point of me telling her.” She looked up at me expectantly, “So is it true?”

Is it true? I don’t know. I feel sick to my stomach thinking about it though, but that might just be the chocolate fudge cookie already making me feel ill. I swallowed hard before shaking my head, “Um, I don’t think so.”

“You mean you don’t know either? I thought you guys were friends,” Naomi pouted and slumped back in her seat.

“We are, but we don’t exactly talk about stuff like that.”

“Oh?” she raised her brows before smirking at me. She placed her chin onto the palms of her hands, “So what do you talk about then? What do popular people like him even talk about?"

Ian scoffed, “I bet he brags about himself a lot. That’s how they all are. They think they’re so high and mighty.”

“Actually, no,” I smiled even though my stomach was really starting to bother me. I rubbed it lightly while hiding the action behind my binder. “I’ve met his friends too. They aren’t like that at all. They don’t think they’re above others or anything. I mean, they did actually take the time to get to know me.”

“Yeah, well, you aren’t a loser like us,” she stated nonchalantly. Before I could tell her that I didn’t think of her as a loser, she continued to say, “You really like that guy though, huh?”

It was starting to get hot in the room, and my stomach was beginning to growl in anger. I gulped before trying to speak as if nothing was wrong, “I don’t know what you mean.”

“Don’t be nervous,” she laughed. Normally, I’d probably be nervous about this conversation, but my stomach is pretty much my main focus. “It’s cute that you have a little crush on him.”

“Crush?” I let out a laugh. “Oh, no. We’re just friends.”

“Okay, if you say so,” she sung. “For the record, you two would be really cute together.”

“That is if he’d get over his reputation,” Ian added air quotes around the word ‘reputation.’

I furrowed my brows as a smile crept back onto my face, “Thanks?”

Naomi giggled, “Ignore him. That’s what I usually do.”

Although Ian had put my worries to rest for a little while by insisting that Tate and Leah are only a rumor, I still could sense that awful feeling in the pit of my stomach. Part of it was the gluten, I knew that, but I also felt really skeptical over it all. If the rumors are true, Tate ditched me at the party to sleep with Leah.

He’s just like the rest of them, and so is Harry.

---

Practice felt longer today. Maybe that’s because I still hadn’t gone to the bathroom to take care of my problem. The thing is, I hate peeing in public restrooms, so imagine me in there with my stupid gluten intolerance: not happening. Then, I had to go straight home from school and change for practice, and, of course, I had to let my stupidity take over what my body wants, and now its worse.

I’m sweating more than I should be, considering all I’m doing is standing. All we did was hit off of a tee while the rest of the team stood in the field and shagged. If we were in the outfield, we were most likely not going to have to catch a single ball since my team really needs to work on their hitting. Well, they need to work on everything, so that’s probably another reason why the outfielders wouldn’t catch a ball.

My stomach keeps growling uncontrollably, and I keep playing it off as hunger even though food sounds far from good at the moment. Eleanor says it has to be about one hundred degrees outside, and that isn’t exactly helping my condition either. I can’t catch a break, but that’s my own fault.

“Are you okay?” Eleanor asked as I wiped beads of sweat from my forehead. “I know it’s hot outside, but we’re literally not doing anything. Why are you sweating?”

“Oh, you know, I just have fat man sweat glands,” I chuckled nervously and wiped at my greasy neck.

“Are you sure? You don’t look so good. Is it because you didn’t eat lunch?”

I shook my head, “No. I’m totally fine. I’m just hot, that’s all.”

“Heads up!” I heard someone shout, but by the time I looked towards the field, a softball had already collided into my thigh. The impact was so hard that it knocked me on my bottom, onto the muddy grass that had been drowned by the sprinklers before practice began. Just fabulous, this day.

“Well, that’s fucking new. Who would’ve thought Melody would be the one to hit a ball in centerfield?” I joked through my wincing and rubbed at the already forming bruise. At least it was distracting me from my stomach.

“You’re supposed to shout, ‘head’s up,’ a little earlier than that, you guys!” Eleanor complained before kneeling down to my height. “Damn, you fell right into the only patch of mud. That sucks.”

I shot her a look and replied sarcastically, “Your support means everything to me.” She’s just like Hayden sometimes, I swear.

She chuckled out an, “I’m sorry,” before getting serious. “Are you okay? Do you need to sit in the dugout?”

“Nah. I’ve had worse injuries,” I grinned at her while she helped me stand up. It wasn’t until I stood up straight that I felt a little dizzy. “On the second thought, I think I’m going to go sit down.”

“Do you need me to walk you over?” her arms reached out to help support me, but I pushed them away as politely as I could.

“No,” I dragged the word in a cheery way. “I’m fine.” More like, my stomach is killing me right now.

I walked over to the dugout with no complications, and Coach Adam had me sit down with a packet of ice on my leg. Even though I insisted that I was fine and only needed water, he was persistent on me icing my leg for the rest of practice since there was only five minutes left.

I watched as the tiny girl named Melody finished up her hitting practice, hitting most of the balls into the outfield. It’s funny how someone so small can have so much power in their swing, and it goes to show that anyone can play a sport like this. On her last hit, she ran speedily to first base and made it before the infielders could even get to the ball, but I think they forgot that they were supposed to try to get her out.

“Alright. Let’s meet up in front of the dugout for a meeting, Ladies!” Couch Adam called out and clapped his hands together.

I stood to my feet, and suddenly, my stomach didn’t hurt quite as much anymore. I thought I was in the clear until my body began feeling heavy. I ignored it as I set down the icepack and walked over to the team. I chose to stand behind Eleanor, leaned against the fence on the side of the dugout. We were still in front of coach, just closer to getting to our stuff.

I tried listening to whatever it was Coach was saying, but my body began to feel hotter and my head began to spin a little more. Eleanor turned her head and smiled at me, a gesture that I returned until she had turned back away from me. It wasn’t until I saw a black dot in my vision, becoming more dots that would expand with every blink, that I knew what was happening.

Oh crap, I thought. I’m about to pass out.

I’ve never blacked out before in my life, but a memory from speaking to a girl in fifth grade about her experiences with passing out had me knowing exactly what was going on. She had described a blackout the way I was feeling it, and I only remember the conversation because I was so curious about it. I wasn’t one who’d get sick easily, and I sure as hell have never felt this sick.

I gripped my fingers around the fencing beside me and began rocking my body side to side. I guess I was trying to ignore everything still, but I also figured that my hold on the fence could in some way help me fall down gentler. My breath was getting heavier, as was my body, and my vision was nearing a fully black state. My eyes scanned the team, wondering if anybody was even noticing what was happening, but it seemed as if, for once, the team was actually focused on what Coach had to say. I was okay with that.

Finally, my body gave up on fighting the faint feeling. Everything was hidden behind my eyelids as I slowly hit the cold concrete ground below me.

“Devon?!” I heard Eleanor’s worried cry. Well, I didn’t expect that I could hear and think still.

“Okay, practice is on Wednesday, bye,” Coach rushed his words which told me he saw me laying on the ground.

I heard a few panicked mummers before a parent asked, “Should I call the hospital?” Shit, I’ve never been to a hospital before. Well, that is if you don’t count my birth.

“No, that’s not necessary,” Coach spoke.

I wanted to speak, but I couldn’t. Then I thought maybe I was in shock, and that’s why I couldn’t speak. It’s weird how my body was paralyzed, but a few things were working. I could still feel the ground below me, I just couldn’t reach out and touch it, and I could still hear everyone chattering, I just couldn’t say anything back or open my eyes to look at them. It sucks.

“We just need to get the blood rushing back to her head,” Coach’s voice seemed closer before I felt a hand slide underneath my head and tilt it up. Then, I was finally able to open my eyes, but I wished I hadn’t. My teammates were against the fence, staring into the dugout at me, a few parents were surrounding my limp body, and Coach was frowning down at me as he held up my head and upper torso. The worst part was that Eleanor was hovered over me, and she wore a petrified expression that I wish I wouldn’t have made her feel.

“See?” Coach asked one of the parents. “I’m going pick you up now, okay?” he informed me, but I didn’t say a word back to him. In fact, it seemed that my mouth was still unable to work, but apparently Coach Adam already knew that’d be the case considering he lifted me from the ground and into his arms anyways.

“Can I borrow someone’s chair for a little bit?” Coach Adam asked the parents. “It’s better if I set her down on something stable rather than the bench.”

Grace’s parents proudly guided us onto the field and set up one of their chairs for Coach to gently set me in. Eleanor began talking to him and occasionally peering over his shoulder at me, but I didn’t get to listen in on their conversation once another adult distracted me. “Here Sweetie,” Coach Adam’s wife handed me a bottle of ice cold water. “Drink this. It’ll help.”

I slowly and shakily held out my hand to retrieve the already uncapped bottle and began sipping the water. If only this lady knew I didn’t like water. That’s right, Miss Plain doesn’t even like the taste of water, and trust me, it doesn’t just taste like nothing. Water has a taste, and it’s not good.

Coach Adam walked over to me and squatted down before me while gently placing his hand on my knee, “Are you alright?” I gave him a slight nod. “Eleanor just mentioned that you didn’t eat lunch today,” his statement came out as more of a question. “Maybe the heat, mixed with that, and the injury all caused you to pass out. You need to take better care of your body, Devon. Keep yourself hydrated during practice, and make sure you eat something small before practice, like a banana. Okay, Kid?” I gave him another nod, and he patted my knee before standing to his feet and turning to talk to Eleanor.

Maybe I shouldn’t have lied to them earlier about not eating lunch, but I think it’s a better way to go than saying, “I’ve just had to go to the bathroom all of this time.” God, that’d be awful. The gluten itself couldn’t be what caused me to faint, so maybe Coach was half right about the mixture of the heat and the injury having an effect on me. Still, I’d probably feel a lot better if I was just at home in my own bathroom.

“Lou!” I watched as Eleanor called over her boyfriend who had just walked up to the field. His baffled eyes scanned everyone who was still crowded around me as he approached Eleanor, and if I was embarrassed before, I sure as hell was completely ashamed at that moment. I hadn’t realized that no one had left yet, and everyone was still surrounding me with worried glances. It made me feel like I was a piece of china and that they were waiting for the moment I’d break (as if that hadn’t already happened).

“What’s going on?” Louis glanced at me and then at his girlfriend while they shuffled closer to me.

She shook her head and waved her hand at him dismissively, “I’ll fill you in on it after we get her to the car. I’m going need you to drive her home in her car, and I’ll follow you from behind.”

He leaned his head closer to her as if he hadn’t heard her, “What?”

“Please, Babe,” she sighed and shifted her weight onto her other leg. “Let’s spare her more embarrassment, okay? Can you carry her to her car?”

“Sure,” he nodded. He walked over to me with a smile on his face, “Hey Leader. Are you feeling alright?” I gradually shrugged. “Well, I’m going to give you a piggyback ride, alright? Think you can hold on?” I nodded, and he squatted down in front of me before facing his back towards me. “Hop on then.”

I obliged, immediately leaning forward in the seat to wrap my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist. As Louis stood to his feet, I listened to Eleanor thank Melody for packing up my stuff for me, and she took my bag from the tiny girl. After thanking everyone for the help, she walked by Louis’s side with softball bags on either shoulders, and she explained to Louis what had happened down on the field.

I was so tired that I couldn’t help but rest the side of my head against the back of his, but he didn’t seem fazed by it as he continued his conversation with Eleanor. I wondered why Niall and Harry weren’t with Louis at the skate park today. Then the thought crossed my mind: Harry was avoiding me. He was probably laughing with Niall about it while my day was just getting worse and worse. Surprise, surprise. Yet again, I was a creep, and another guy was trying to get away from me as if I were some stalker.

Louis is probably going to be my only guy friend considering he has a girlfriend, and I’d never come in between that, nor do I even have feelings for him. He won’t think of me as a freak, right?

“Hey, I’m going to set you down on the curb real fast, alright?” the boy told me, and I nodded against his head. He shortened his height so that my butt was almost touching the ground, and I slowly let my limbs unlock themselves from him so that I could sit down.

I watched as he took my softball bag from Eleanor, and she pointed to my Jeep in the parking lot. He gave her a nod and a kiss on the cheek before they parted ways and he kneeled before me. “Are your keys in the bag?”

“Y-Yeah,” I finally got my mouth to work with my mind, and he grinned widely. “They’re in the side pouch.”

He dug them out and zipped the pouch back up. “I’ll put your bag in the trunk, and then I’ll come help you get in the car, okay?”

I nodded, and he stood up to do what he said he would. Seconds later, he was back at my side and he lifted me into his arms. He already had the passenger side of the door open, so all he had to do was slide me into the seat.

When he began buckling my seatbelt for me, I shot him a glare and tugged it away from him. “I’m not crippled, Louis. I can handle this myself.”

“If you insist, Princess,” he teased me with a chuckle before closing my door and walking towards the other side of my car. As he climbed in, he froze and scrunched up his features, “Where do you even live?”

“I can give you instructions,” my words slurred with exhaustion. He laughed and pulled a phone out of his pocket to search through the contacts. It took me a second to realize it was my phone, and I sat up straight to gaze between them. “Why do you have my phone? What are you doing?”

"Well, at first, Eleanor was using your phone to inform your parents about what happened, and let them know that we'll be taking care of you." He leaned his head back against the headrest as he continued his search, “Is your address in this? I’m afraid you’ll fall asleep on me while giving me directions.”

“Yeah. It’s under ‘Tingley Home,’” I informed him and relaxed my body against the seat.

“Turn right in three hundred meters,” Alfie spoke to Louis, and I heard the boy laugh.

“Why is your phone British?”

I gave him a slight smile before tiredly leaning my head against the window, “’Cause your people have sexy voices.”

---

When we got to my house, Louis shook me awake from my short nap and climbed out of my car to retrieve my bag. I had suddenly became aware of my stomachache once again, and, boy, was I miserable. I still felt overheated, my throat craved an icy drink, and my movements were still quite slow.

“Here, give me the bag and the keys. I’ll go unlock the door,” I heard Eleanor tell Louis while the back door of my car was still open.

Once the door was shut, mine was opened and Louis stood before me with a concerned look. “Do you have a pool or something?”

“Louis, now is not the time to think about swimming,” I lightly chuckled as I slipped my body out of the car and stood to my feet since I’m fully capable of walking now.

He let out a short laugh and closed my car door behind me before wrapping an arm around my shoulders. As we began heading towards my front door that Eleanor was already holding open for us, he said, “Well, I won’t be swimming. You will since you need to cool down your body temperature.”

“Look at you, Doc,” I smirked at him.

“That’s Doctor Awesome Sauce, to you,” he joked with a stern voice while poking my shoulder, making me giggle. “Anyways, I’ve fainted before, three times, to be exact, so I know the drill. You’ll feel better after getting yourself cooled down and some cold drinks in your system.”

“Where’s your kitchen?” Eleanor asked me once we entered the house, and I pointed to the open room on the right. “Is there something specific you’d like me to get you to drink?”

I shook my head and began heading towards the kitchen myself, “No, it’s okay. I’ve got it,” but before I could get very far, Eleanor had already grabbed my wrist.

“No,” she replied bluntly, “you’re going to go in your backyard and sit in your pool for a little while.”

“You are so bossy,” I pointed out with a smug expression that she mirrored.

“Lou likes it.”

“Geez, call me out, will you?” Louis shook his head before walking towards the back door. I chuckled at the two of them before asking Eleanor for a Gatorade. “Are you coming Devon?” her boyfriend asked me after she went to the kitchen.

“Shouldn’t I put on a swimsuit?”

Once his hand touched the doorknob, he sent me a smile, “What for? You’ll only be standing in the shallow end of the pool until you’ve cooled yourself down a bit. There’s no need to change for such an occasion.”

“You’re hilarious,” I mumbled sarcastically and walked with him outside. “And why do you have to come with me?”

He placed all of his fingertips onto his chest and replied, “’Cause I’m the lifeguard, of course. Wouldn’t want you passing out in the pool, as well.”

“I think I’ll live.”

“Key words: I think. That’s exactly why you need me.”

“Louis?”

“Yeah?”

“Shut up.”

“Okay, Princess,” the nickname rolled off of his tongue for the second time today, and I rolled my eyes. “I think I’m going to call you that from now on because a princess is a leader, like you, but a sassy one.”

“Louis,” I whined.

He threw his head back and let out a loud laugh. “Okay,” he breathed out as he calmed himself down. “I’m done now. I swear.”

I kicked my cleats off of my feet because I knew that if I wore them into the pool, my parents wouldn’t exactly be the happiest campers in the world. I placed my hand on Louis’s shoulder and began slipping off my long socks since I’ve worn them when swimming before, and I’ve never liked how heavy they felt when they were soaked. However, removing the socks and still continuing to wear the softball pants without them just feels plain weird.

Finally, I stuck my feet onto the wide step in the pool. An immediate chill ran from the tips of my toes all the way to the top of my spine, and it caused my body to quiver. Even though it was one hundred degrees outside, the pool water still felt freezing cold, but it was just what I needed.

“Keep going,” Louis urged and pointed his hands towards the next step.

“Hey, remember when you said you’d be quiet?” I arched a brow at the kid as I placed my foot onto the adjoining stair.

He shrugged, “I meant I was done messing with you.”

Before I could respond to him, my back door swung open and Eleanor stepped outside with a towel and three Gatorades in her hands. “Is your room the orange one?” she asked me as she closed the door with her foot.

I hugged myself as another shiver went through my body, “Uh, yeah? Why, exactly, were you snooping around my house?”

“I was trying to find you a towel since I didn’t feel like making two trips back into your house. You’re welcome, by the way,” she stuck her tongue out at me and placed the towel and one of the drinks by my cleats. She walked over to Louis and handed him a drink as well before commenting on my room again, “Your bedroom definitely is the most interesting one in the house.

“Thanks,” I laughed. I shot Louis a short glare once he pointed at the third step in the pool and continued my conversation with Eleanor, “My mother has a thing for painting houses with neutral colors so that all of her furniture will match the walls. If you bring it up, she’ll tell you all about the Sensational Sand colored walls.”

“Sensational Sand?” she scrunched up her nose, and Louis chuckled.

I nodded vigorously and stepped onto the third step in the pool. At this point, the water was mid-thigh for me, and I could feel my body trembling from the cold. “Yeah, Sensational Sand,” I groaned. “If you ask me, I think the wall colors are boring. Actually, you know what you should ask me? What color is the furniture in my room?”

“Tan,” she stated, but it sounded more like a question.

“Nope,” I shook my head. “I call it 'Just Sand.'” That was enough to bring both of my friends to their knees because they were laughing so hard.

---

After getting out of the pool, Louis had insisted on going to get us some dinner to eat before they leave me be. He typed Eleanor’s and I’s orders onto his phone and left Eleanor to “keep an eye on the Princess,” as he said.

I managed to convince her to let me change into my pajamas and use the bathroom, which is thankfully connected to my room, without her supervision. This means I was finally able to release what my stomach has been begging of me to rid myself of without causing any suspicions from her. I was able to make it seem as if I was only taking a long time trying to decide what to wear and whether or not I should leave my hair up.

Soon enough, we were all sat in a triangle on the floor of my living room, eating our dinner.

“Hey, I thought you said you were going to get Niall since he wasn’t able to go to the skate park earlier,” Eleanor creased her features at her boyfriend before taking a bite of her burger.

“I was,” he spoke with a mouth full of onion rings. As he swallowed his food, I noticed his eyes flicker towards me before focusing back onto her. “He, uh, said he couldn't come because, um, well, he mentioned that it’s ‘one of those days,’” he chewed on his bottom lip after the words left his mouth, and Eleanor let out an “oh” as if she knew exactly what he was talking about.

I scoffed, “He’s having ‘one of those days?’ His day couldn’t possibly have been worse than mine was.”

“Ooh,” Louis set his food onto the bag it was once stored in and rubbed his hands together. “Story time.”

I let out a lengthy sigh as I contemplated on whether or not I should even tell them about it. Well, it’s not like Hayden will listen to me rant about anything that doesn’t involve Tate, and I could definitely use someone to speak to, but Harry is also involved with this horrible day. Oh well, fuck it.

“For starters, you should know I went with some new friends, that my friend Hayden had set me up with, to a party on Saturday, and that says a lot since I don’t do parties,” I huffed, and Louis and Eleanor seemed intrigued already. “Anyways, long story short, they got drunk, and they ditched me.”

“Those Shitheads,” Louis teased me, but I ignored him.

“But after they disappeared, I found someone else to hang out with who I thought could potentially be a person I’d like to hang around, and we ditched the place. Then today, I had to have a stupid conversation with Hayden on, ‘how dare I fucking ditch the friends who ditched me,’” I laughed harshly. “Oh, and of fucking course, I forgot my lunch money and also stepped in some minty gum someone thought it’d be hilarious to spit out in the lunch line. After that, the friend who ditched me apologized, and,” I pouted and clutched my heart exaggeratingly, “they’re ‘so sorry.’” I let out a low growl. “What a fucking joke since after they apologized, I found out they ditched me to go fuck someone.”

Eleanor’s eyes widened, and Louis was trying so hard to hide his snickers as I continued, “And then the person I left the party with decided to ignore me today because it’s totally okay to play with my emotions like that. Oh, and then I fell in mud, got hit by a ball, and fainted all at practice. Sounds like a lovely day, doesn’t it? I bet Niall’s day doesn’t even compare to mine,” I began stabbing at my salad with my plastic spork.

“That was the best story I’ve ever heard,” Louis grinned from ear to ear, and I couldn’t help but let out a small laugh.

The room grew silent, and it gave me the moment I needed to realize how relived I was to let all of that out. I really needed to just speak out what was replaying in my mind before I’d explode. I’ve never had a more humiliating day in my life, so I’m surprised I’ve even made it through it.

“Didn’t you tell me you had a dog?” Eleanor decided to change the subject, and I nodded.

“Yeah, he’s at the doggy daycare center downtown.”

She giggled, “What?”

“I’m telling you, my mother is crazy.”

---

I couldn’t sleep with the gears still turning in my mind, so instead, I found myself pulling out an old friend: my journal. I hadn’t touched it in almost nine months, and I hoped I would never have to pull it out again. I used to write stuff about the heartbreaks I caused myself by thinking I could ever stand a chance with certain guys. Last years entry, that's the one that stung the most, so I flipped open my journal to that particular entry.

10-3-11
10:34 p.m.
“Dear Diary,
I have a lot on my mind. It's about this guy named Kalen Hanson...”

Notes

Fun fact, the diary entries you will read in this story are real ones I've written but with the names changed, of course. I promise I will let you see full entries eventually, I just didn't want to do that with this one because the entry was way too long, and it's not important enough for the development of this story. Kalen will not be a character in the story, and will only remain a piece of her past. I promise I'm not suddenly making this a love square. That'd be ridiculous haha.

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