Seriously? Fanfiction annoying moments, reviews & polyvores!

Okay. So I understand a little bit of describing. But over describing is a seriously big no-no. Like seriously? Examples:

As he walked towards me. His blue eyes sparkling with the most perfect blueness to them. His blonde hair whipped up into a perfect do. His pristine white shirt was perfectly buttoned up and collar laid down with such ease. His khaki pants were pressed to the most sharpness with no other wrinkles. His belt buckle shown perfectly in the light. He walked up to me and said hi.

See we could have avoiding all the unnecessary details. It makes it more confusing for the readers. Please get it together. I know I'm guilty of this (only sometimes) but I also now nobody's perfect. But just cut out the unnecessary details and we would be fine. How it should have gone.

As he walked toward me, his blue eyes sparkling, an blonde hair whipped in to a perfect do. He dresses with the most confidence. He looked so good. He walked up to me and said hi.

Much better. Well in my opinion it's better.

Notes

Hey girls! It's Jamal (and Paige) we both did this update for you. I made the scenes and my babe did the rest. Were a good team and an even better couple! We both love you all! And I say hi to all of you!! Enjoy! More updates tomorrow. I'm doing it over Skype tomorrow. Should be fun! Much love.