Forever Alone

You arrived at the airport ready to see him again. The plane ride isn’t going to be long but being closer to him is just so nerve wracking. What if he has forgotten about you? He called you last night telling you how much he loved you. How much he misses you. How much he wants you there. How much he wanted to make love to you. How much he was craving your body like it was some sort of addiction. You craved his body the same way. Judith, do you want to tell them what you want to do to him?

Sure. I want to run my fingers along his chest. Trailing down it with just one finger just barely touching the skin. Making Goosebumps form along every inch of his body. Making him yearn for more of my touch. Then I would take my hand and bring it up to his face. I have to make sure he is sitting up because I don’t like to do this when he is lying down. I will take one of my fingers and gracefully touch his ear. Trailing from the ear to his jawline and down to his chin. Touching his lips with my fingers and wanting to kiss him. I would look into his blue eyes that sent me out of control. Getting lost in them but then focusing my eyes on his lips. They would probably be parted ever so slightly so he could breathe out of his mouth. The cool air dispersing from his lungs and out through his mouth barely grazing against his lips and my fingertips.

I should mention that I am straddling him. Our faces almost touching. He is just so beautiful. And I know that you shouldn’t describe a man as beautiful but he is beautiful. His face is just so elegant and wonderful. His features were so precise and exact. He is the definition of perfection. His eyes were just outstanding. The way the lit up a room whenever he entered. Those bad boys were the most amazing eyes I have ever seen. Looking into them is like looking out to the sea. Endless mass of water that makes you get lost in your thoughts. Making you just forget about the world.

Then after all this teasing would then place my lips on his. I would want him to start to get rough and just make me feel the pleasure. Feed my want. Feed all that I desire. I would run my fingers through his hair and he would probably smile into the kiss. His hands would probably be on my back. His hands moving up and down. Then they would make their way underneath my shirt unhooking my bra. Then everything else will seem to fall off like layers of an onion. I know so unromantic and anticlimactic but that’s how it will go. Then everything else will fall into place.

Judith that was very descriptive. You really do miss him. You really do love him. You must hope that everything will be okay once you see him. That he will cry when he sees your face. That the smile on his face would light up the whole room illuminating the world with his wonderful presence.

The attendant called for your flight. You looked at your phone. No call. No text. Just the blank screen. The background of your phone was a photo of you and Niall. He was kissing your cheek and you were smiling. He made you so happy yet he hasn’t answered yet.

You grabbed your carry on and made your way to the gate. You handed the flight attendant your ticket and she smiled at you. She was a woman in her late twenties. She had blonde hair that was in a bun on top of her head. She looked to have a fake smile like she didn’t love her job. Who wouldn’t love to fly around the world? Anyone lucky enough to travel the world is lucky. You want to travel the world. You have seen parts of the United States that you never thought you would see. You have been to most of the states and you thought that you were going to be stuck in Denver. Yet you moved to London and you met the man of your dreams. Your life was perfect.

You sat in your seat gazing out the window. You were leaving to go see him. You were on your way to be with him again. Your palms started to sweat just thinking about him. Your hands were trembling as you sat there thinking about what he looked like. How he might have changed since you left him behind weeks ago. You rested your head against the seat as the flight attendants told everyone to sit down since the plane was ready to take off.

You felt the plane start up and you were moving. You tilted your head to look out the window. The plane started to get faster and faster. You felt the plane starting to lift off the ground. The street that was near the airport was starting to get smaller. The higher the plane went the smaller Denver got. You were leaving home again. You were going to be with him. You looked out the window until you saw the clouds outside the window. Then the sound that said you could take your seat belts off rang. You unbuckled yourself and fell asleep.

You felt murmuring around you. You peeked through your eyes and you saw two little girls peeking over their seats. They looked at you and they just smiled. Why were they staring at you like that? You smiled at them because they were really cute. They must have been at least seven years old. One had blonde hair and green eyes. The other girl had brown hair with blue eyes. They both had curly hair. They looked as if they were twins. You looked at them as the continued to look at you.

“Hi,” you whispered since the guy next to you was sleeping.

They giggled a little bit and looked at each other. They were too cute these little girls. But why were they staring at you like that?

“Hi,” the blonde one whispered nervously.

“Why are you so nervous,” you leaned forward so she can hear you.

“You’re Judith,” the brown hair girl whispered.

“Yes, that is my name,” you told them.

“You’re Niall’s girlfriend. He loves you very much,” they answered.

“Oh yes I am,” you told them.

“Are you going to see him?” they asked

“Yes, but you can’t tell him,” you placed your finger on your lips.

“I promise,” they both said in unison.

“So may I know your name so I can tell Niall about his two biggest fans?” you asked

“My name is Beth,” the blonde one spoke.

“Nice to meet you Beth,” you smiled at her.

“My name is Jane,” the brown haired girl answered.

“Nice to meet you too Jane,” you told her.

You sat there and chatted with them. They were younger fans, yes but they were so sweet and kind. You truly did adore them. They were so energetic. They were so lively. You enjoyed talking to them. You were overwhelmed by how smart they are. They knew so much. They were so cute that you wanted to take them home with you. They were on their way to visit their grandparents who lived in Napa California. They were so excited to know that you were there because to them you made Niall the happiest he has ever been and they really don’t know anything about love. They really enjoyed your company.

After the flight you hugged them goodbye and told them not to tell everyone that you were here because you were surprising Niall. The understood and they agreed to keep their mouths shut. They smiled after you hugged them and you guys went your separate ways. They were just too adorable. You wanted children like that.

You spotted your friends just a few feet away. The nerves were setting in already. You were scared. You were upset that he would be mad that you didn’t tell him. Your hands were trembling after each step you took towards your friends. They were both wearing sundresses that made them look adorable. They were just too cute. They both smiled at you once you reached them. You embraced them in a hug and you could smell their Bath and Body Works spray on them. They were so happy to see you. They kept telling you that it was so nice to see you. They said that they have missed you so much.

They led you outside the airport to the car. The sun was shining and you put your sunglasses over your face. This was going to be a nice time. You were ready. You were ready to see him again. Your heart was beating fast as the car drove off to the hotel. Once you reached the hotel your heart stopped. Why were you so nervous? You had him already. Then again you were scared that he wouldn’t be happy to see you. Then again he always told you that he really misses you and that he wants you. So calm down. Please.

You walked into the hotel lobby with Bridgette and Rachel. You got the key from the front desk so you could get into his room. You guys walked over to the elevator and took it to the eighth floor. Standing in the elevator the sweat started to form on your forehead. Rachel and Bridgette told you not to be so nervous. They kept telling you that Niall really never hung out with the boys very often. He normally stayed in his room just moping in his self-pity. You were really excited to see him. The elevator doors opened up and you walked out into the hall and the boys were all standing there. They had smile on their faces waiting for you to open the door to Niall’s room. You hugged them before heading to his door. They watched you walk down the hall to his door.

You stood in front of the door trying to contemplate what was going to happen behind his door. Was he going to wrap you in his arms and spin you around? Was he going to kiss you over and over again trying to make up for lost time? You put the key card into the door. The door light turned green and you opened the door. You stepped inside leaving your bags in the hallway. You heard nothing. But you heard his breathing. You heard his voice.

“Niall?” you called out but no one answered.