Forever Alone

The day arrived that you were heading to America. This is the first time you were going to America since you left a year ago. This was going to be a shocker. This was going to be hard for you. You were nervous. You didn’t want to get on that plane. You didn’t want to spend seven hours in the air trying to figure out whether you were happy that you were going to see your friends or that there was a slight chance that you would see your family again. They haven’t contacted you in months. Well Mark has called but he wasn’t that much of a threat to you. He told you about how Annabel was doing. He told you that she was getting bigger. You told him that you were coming to America but you didn’t want your family to you. You didn’t want them coming to your side asking if everything was okay. You didn’t want a pity party.

The car arrived outside your apartment to take you to the airport. You grabbed your two bags that you were taking. You were going for three weeks. You couldn’t wait. You, Rachel, and Bridgette were going to be on the tour bus with the boys. You were going to be travelling on the East Coast of the United States with them. You’re family lived on the East Coast but you hope that you won’t run into them. You don’t want to repeat any bad memories. I have just gotten over them. I don’t want to be reminded of my past. You’re lucky I’m going on this trip. I mean I want to see Niall and the rest of the boys but there is a slight chance that I will see my family. I don’t want that slight chance to come true. Judith, Niall promised that he wouldn’t take you to see your family. He doesn’t want to hurt you like that.

You and your friends got into the car. The car then started to drive to the airport. The closer the car got to the airport the more you started to sweat. Rachel and Bridgette tried to calm you down. Did you also tell them that you had a fear of flying? It’s not really a fear. It’s just that as the plane takes off and it starts to rumble and shake around I get kind of scared. I mean once the plane is in the air I’m okay. I’m the same way when the plane lands. It’s just that it feels like the plane is breaking when it takes off and lands. It scares me.

You and your friends were dropped off at the airport. Photographers were all around snapping pictures of the three of you. You were blinded by the constant flashing. It started to make your head spin. You were feeling a tad woozy. Bridgette grabbed your arm and led you into the airport. One she didn’t want you to get lost and two she didn’t want you to faint from the flashes. She was used to them by now because they were everywhere she went even though Harry wasn’t around. You guys snaked through the crowd of reporters attempting to ask you guys some questions. Bridgette and Rachel pushed them away. Bridgette doesn’t take shit from no one. After trying to get away from the photographers you guys reached your terminal. You still had about two hours till you guys were allowed to board the plane. Your phone buzzed and it was a text from Niall. You smiled as you gazed at the name.

Judith, I remember you telling me about your fear of flying. But just know that it will be okay because once those seven hours are up you will be with me in my arms. I miss you Judith. I got so much planned for us. I can’t wait! –Niall xx

You smiled at the text message. He was sweetheart. You have to be falling for him right Judith? Yeah I am. I really like him. I can’t wait to see him. I have missed him so much. I really want to see him again. He is such a sweetheart. I mean no other guy in the world can make me feel like this. It is because of him that I am so sane now. He is always there for me. Well, he has been here for me since I have met him. I really miss him and I’m flying on this plane because of him. I am going back to where I am from so I can see him. It will be worth it.

You, Rachel, and Bridgette arrived in America. Shaken by the reality that you were closer to home then you expected was quite nerve racking. You didn’t want to be here. You didn’t want to come but you had to. Niall wanted you here and it would be a shame if you didn’t come.

The boys had arranged for a car to pick you guys up. You guys were going to be taken to their hotel in New York City. You were going to be on the other side of the country from the place you called home. You knew that you would be going to your home state in a few weeks and you really were starting to get nervous.

Your brother Mark lived in the city since he attended an arts school here. He attended NYADA due to his wonderful acting and singing skills. He wanted to be a Broadway star. He had a small studio apartment downtown and he invited you to come and stay with him for a day or two. He wanted to meet Niall too. Mark had met someone too. He was happy well when you talked to him he sounded happy.

You and your friends got into the car to take you to the hotel. You couldn’t wait to see Niall. Seeing him was going to make you happy again. You needed to see him. You needed to talk to him. You needed him. You missed him.

The car pulled up to the hotel. Cameras were everywhere. People were everywhere. You saw teenage girls screaming their heads off like someone important was coming out. The fans loved your friends. They were all so nice to them but they never really interacted with you. You weren’t dating any of the boys. You were just a friend. You tagged along like the lone lost puppy that you are.

You guys linked arms as the concierge took your bags taking them up to your rooms. Your friends were going to stay with their boyfriends. Niall had invited you to stay in his room but you felt guilty. You weren’t his girlfriend and it didn’t feel right staying in his room. But he convinced you that nothing would happen even though deep down inside you wanted something to happen. You wanted him to love you like the other boys loved their girlfriends. Just admit it Judith, you love him.

I think I do. I mean I don’t know how I should feel. I mean my heart ached when he left. My heart was in pieces but now thinking that I will see him again is making it hurt less. It seems to be filling up with all these emotions. All these feelings that I have never felt before. Could I be falling for him? Could I actually find my one true love? You never know. You never know.

You guys took the elevator up. You were getting more nervous now. A boy never made you feel this way. The last time you were nervous was with Steve but it was a different kind of nervous. He scared you. You were always nervous that he would come and attack you. You never felt that kind of nervousness with Niall. Niall made you feel safe. He promised that he would never hurt you.

The doors to the elevator opened. You clenched your fists becoming more nervous as you got closer to his door. Your friends had gone into the other boys’ rooms. You stood outside his door dreading about what you were supposed to do. You placed your fist on the door knocking twice. Now you were supposed to just wait until he answered. You heard footsteps on the other side of the door. They were getting closer. Then the door knob turned and it slowly opened.

You saw his face. He was smiling. He was real. He was everything you have dreamt of. Here you are knocking on his door coming to see him. Knocking on his door to visit him while he was on tour. You felt the smile stretch across your face as you stared at him. He was your savior of some kind. Was he going to save you from this dark and twisted fate that you called your life or was he going to leave you and crush you like a bug? Only time will tell. For right now enjoy his presence Judith. Enjoy what he gives you. Good doesn’t last forever.

“Hey Moody Judy,” he laughed.

Everything is going to be okay. I know it will be. I need to see him. I love him.

“Hey,” you answered and he led you inside.