Forever Alone

Your phone buzzed again and this time it was a call. It was from Bridgette. You had four texts and ten missed calls from her. Were you really that isolated from the world to miss that much from her? You had to answer or else she was going to think that something happened to you. You didn’t want her to be worried about you. The real question is are you going to tell her the truth?

“Hello,” you called out.

“Judith, where the fuck are you?” Bridgette sounded mad

“I felt sick and I need to stay home. I don’t want any of the boys getting sick,” you answered.

“Is Niall still there?” she asked

“No, he left a few minutes ago,” you replied.

“Well, did he say where he was going?” she asked

“No,” you answered bluntly.

“Judith, he hasn’t come here yet,” she answered.

“I’m sure he will show up,” you replied.

“You two aren’t making babies are you?” she asked knowing that it would piss you off

“No, I’m all alone,” you replied.

“I’m sorry. I know you have John. You’re not sick because of John are you?” she asked

“What do you mean?” you questioned

“You didn’t want to come tonight because there would going to be a lot of couples here and your boyfriend isn’t here to have you on his arm right?” she asked

“Yes, that’s right. I didn’t want to come because of that,” you answered trying to hide behind your broken heart.

“Judith, he’ll be home soon and you can make endless love to him,” she laughed.

“Are you drunk?” you asked even though you knew the answer.

“Maybe just a little bit. I may be spending the night at Harry’s and Rachel may be going to Liam’s. You know one last hurrah,” she giggled.

“Yeah that one last hurrah better not make you pregnant,” you whispered.

“I promise I won’t do anything stupid like that,” she giggled again.

“Bridge, I mean it. I don’t want you doing something that you will regret,” you told her.

“Yes, mom. Well, I got to get back to an amazing party that you will never get to experience because you are too busy being Miss Moody Judy because your boyfriend is out of town,” she clicked off the phone before you could say anything.

You just brushed her off. You didn’t want to tell her about John or anything that has happened tonight. You held your phone in your hand. You went through all your pictures that you had taken of John. He was so perfect and he has slipped out of your grasp. Tears started to slide down your cheeks making small droplets on your phone screen. Why was life doing this to you? Were you really that bad of a person that you deserve this treatment? Why does life hate you so much? What have you done in the past, Judith?

What have I done? I have done a lot of things throughout my life. I was unloved by my parents. I was shattered by my dreams. I was abused by my boyfriend. I was one of the reasons my parents got a divorced. I was a disgrace to most of my family. I was a nobody. Scratch that I am a nobody. I hate when people always ask me what’s wrong or what I did to deserve this when in reality my whole life was just a load of crap. I felt worthless most of my life and the only thing to make me feel better was listening to music. Elaborate.

When someone hears their favorite song on the radio they start to sing along. They forget all their worries that may be taking over their mind and they just sing. And if they aren’t the best singer, like most people are, they sing loud. They sing loud and proud because that’s their favorite song and no one can ruin their favorite song. That’s how I feel towards music. When I hear my favorite song I just forget about everything around me. I start to hum along and forget about what was bothering me. When the song ends then everything goes back to normal yet there is a little piece of that forgetfulness that I have in my heart that can isolate me from my problems. Music helps us escape from the world around us when we need it most.

Hours seemed to pass and your phone rang again. This time it was Louis. He was probably going to yell at you for not coming to the party but he doesn’t know what is going on with you and your life right now. Plus you really didn’t want to tell anyone just yet. So you were going to lie to him like you do everyone else.

“Hello,” you answered your phone.

“Judith, thank god you answered,” he replied.

“Before you yell at me just know that I cleared it up with Bridgette just talk to her about what is happened,” you explained.

“Yeah she told me already,” he answered.

“So what do you want?” you asked

“Can I come over?” he asked

“Sure but why?” you questioned.

“Good just go answer the door,” you heard him end the call.

Before you could ask any questions there was a knock on your door. Who could that be? What could they want? Then again it was probably Louis. So you pulled yourself together. You were started to feel a little better in spite what has happened in the last few hours. Maybe talking to me helped. Right Judith? Yeah I guess you could say that. So you cleaned your face up and headed towards the door. You opened up the door and standing outside your door were your friends. You didn’t just see Louis but you also saw Harry, Bridgette, Rachel, Liam, and Zayn. What were they all doing here? Another answer you are seeking to a question that is about to be answered.