Forever Alone

His voice sent shivers down your spine. You didn’t know what to feel. You knew it was because you heard it before but the question was how did he find you? You didn’t bring him home last night and you would never think twice about bringing him home. His grip tightened around your waist causing you to reach for breath. He was a lot stronger than you were and you just wanted him to stop. You couldn’t squirm out of his grasp. You wanted him gone. You wanted him to leave like he did before but now he was back and that “Hey Babe” sounded more agitated than he has ever sounded.

He turned you around so he could see the life drain out of your body. His dark brown hair was perfectly styled and didn’t look like he has been sleeping. He had a mischievous grin on his face and it torn your heart apart. He looked at your body up and down trying to see how you have changed. You haven’t seen him in years yet you still remembered the sound of his voice and the way he held you.

“What…are…you…doing…here,” you said in between breaths.

“I had to be with my baby,” he answered.

“I am not your baby, Steve,” you replied.

His grip tightened and you winced in pain. Was he trying to drain the life out of you? Your bones felt like they were started to crack because that was how frail you felt compared to him. Tears started to form in your eyes and you felt them fall down your face hitting the cold tile floor below you. He didn’t care that you were in pain. You supposedly caused him pain and now he was returning the favor.

“Now you are going feel the pain I felt when you were with that guy,” he told you.

“I was never with him. We are just friends,” you told him.

“That’s not what he said,” he answered.

“And you believed a guy over your faithful girlfriend?” you replied.

“YOU WERE NEVER FAITHFUL!” he shouted and he tightened his grip on you causing you to scream a tiny bit but the louder you screamed the tighter he got.

“Please…let…me…go,” you answered trying to hide the pain.

“Tell me what I want to hear and maybe I will let you go,” he told you.

“Fine. I kissed him. I’m sorry,” you started to cry harder.

“You bitch! Do you really think I would believe you now?” He unwrapped you from his grasp.

He took your wrist in his hand and he took his other hand and slapped you. Your face hurt more than your whole entire body. What did you do to deserve this? He slapped you on the other side causing the same amount of pain to that side. You couldn’t take it anymore. You collapsed onto the floor and started to cry. You didn’t want him to beat you anymore. This wasn’t the first time he had beaten you. This was probably the third time he has beaten you. He let go of your wrist and just hovered over you. He always did that. He watched over you and once you tried to get up again he would knock you down causing you to feel more pain.

You sat on the floor with your head in your hands trying to regain your strength but you would never try to get up. You couldn’t let him hit you again. You have done nothing wrong. You could hear his breathing over you and you wanted to ask him why he was here. You wanted to know why he had come back. Supposedly he had a girlfriend back home and you wish her all the luck. He tried to call you after you guys broke up but you couldn’t deal with him anymore. You didn’t want to get beaten emotionally and physically anymore.

“What are you doing here?” you whispered to him

“To make sure no one tries to love you,” he answered.

“What are you talking about?” you asked

“You are a mess Judith. You don’t deserve to be loved by anyone. You sure as hell didn’t deserve to be loved by me, you no good dirty skank,” his voice ringed throughout your ears.

It stung so deep that you felt it against your bone. Was he right that no one will love you? He was always like this. He always brought you down and now here he was trying to ruin your life. It was people like him that tore you apart and caused you to think these irrational thoughts. His words were like knives stabbing away at your skin causing you to want to rip your skin off just to make it stop. His words were just so uncalled for and it just hurt you that you just wanted him to beat you until you were lifeless and dead on the floor.

“This Niall guy doesn’t know how to deal with people like you,” he spat.

“People like me,” you looked at him.

“People like you who think that the world is against them and they want everyone to feel sorry for them because they went through a rough patch. Face it Judith, it’s life. People have it way worse then you,” he answered sternly.

You got up, “It is people like me who know just how hard life can be. Have you ever thought about killing yourself Steve? Have you ever felt so betrayed by someone you cared about so much that you can’t learn to trust again?”

“You don’t know what it’s like to be betrayed honey,” he grabbed your wrist again.

“Are you forgetting what happened between us?” you asked

His gripped tightened, “No remind me sweetheart.”

You took your hand that was gripped his and place it on his wrist like he did to yours, “You cheated on me. You told me I was the love of your life and you go behind my back when I was visiting my dad and you slept with the person I hated the most! Do you know how I felt?”

“Honey, since you weren’t going to give me anything I had to find ways to fill the time,” he told you looking into your eyes.

“You don’t need to sleep with other people. It hurt me, Steve. You crossed the line that day,” you answered.

“Do you want to know something else about her, Judith?” he asked

“Go ahead,” you dreaded the answer.

“She was hotter, sexier, and a way better kisser then you would ever be,” he spat.

“I fucking hate you!” you screamed.

“What did you just say?” he asked

“I…FUCKING…HATE…YOU!!!” you shouted louder.

“You should’ve never said that you little bitch,” he answered.

Before you could respond he started to punch you. It got harder and harder with each punch. You then collapsed onto the floor and he started to kick you. You didn’t fight back because you were still weak from before. His big foot was digging into your ribs and you could feel it cracking. He was breaking you physically but more importantly he was breaking you emotionally. You tried to go numb like you always did when he would beat you. Going numb made some of the pain go away. Numbness was your only defense but it wasn’t a defense from him. It was your defense from yourself. Numbness was your way of isolating yourself from yourself so you wouldn’t give in and admit that you were wrong.

After what seemed like forever the kicking and punching seemed to subside. You could feel his presence in the room and you didn’t want to even look at him. You didn’t want to look into his demonic eyes because if you did he would probably start again. You didn’t want to be more broken then you already have been. You didn’t know how much more your body could take. You could feel the blood dripping from your mouth and it mixed with your tears. You rested your head on the ground and opened your eyes and looked at the tile. You could see your blood on the tile. Rachel was going to be mad that there was something on the floor. You closed your eyes again hoping you’d black out and if he started again you wouldn’t feel a thing.