Niall’s view:
“Thank you boys. We are glad to be doing business for you.” They all stacked folders away and closed briefcases.
“Thank you.” Simon shook hands with all of them.
“Thanks.” Liam followed Simon’s example.
“Glad to be doing this.” Louis shook their hands as well. It went down a line and I followed what everyone else was doing just to be cleared. By now my hangover was gone and I just felt like crap.
“Liam, can I talk to you first??” Simon pulled him into another conference room. Their talk was brief and soon Liam was back at my side. Zayn went in and talked with Simon for quite some time then emerged from the room. Louis went but it lasted just about as short as Liam’s. Then it was me.
“Niall, what's going on with you??” Simon asked.
“What do you mean??” I asked sitting straight and talking proper.
“For starters you look nervous. Also it's not like you to get this silent.” He pointed out. I slumped a little just to look more normal.
“I mean, I just have a lot going on right now and it's becoming a lot. I need some thinking time and space.” Distance always helped.
“Well I would prefer if you started to talk to someone.” He smiled a little. “I know how you can get anxiety and I don’t need another episode like the last one. I would much rather have you find something that takes your mind off of everything for a whilst.” Simon only cared.
“I'm sure I'll be fine.” Lie. I could already feel everything becoming too much. He knows when things are wrong with one of us. He just knows.
“I'm serious Niall. If you don’t find a friend to talk to then I'm going to make you talk to a shrink.” He pressed harder.
“I'll talk to Liam.” I said and stood up from the hot seat.
“Niall you're not the only one that is having some issues so I need you to be ok. We can't have personal issues when we are making important business deals.” Simon cared, but sometimes you could tell it was also about business. This was one of the times he made it clearer which of the two it was.
“I'll get it together.” I said and left. He didn’t even bother talking to Harry because he wasn’t going to get much from him. We left the conference rooms and piled back into the car. Today was going to be one of those days where it's like a personal day because you do one to two hours of business deals then you're let loose. Harry went straight to his room and probably crashed. Louis and Zayn went to their room to get around for a double date. I went to my hotel room and put on some jogging clothes. I wasn’t about to talk to Liam about anything. I wanted to just pretend everything was fine. Somewhere deep down it was. I missed home but if I went back I would miss work, I knew that. I love the boys but sometimes I just wanted to kill them all, except Liam. I wanted to tell Liam how I felt but what's the point if he doesn’t understand??
“What are you doing today??” Liam came in.
“Well I want to jog and just be out alone.” I said slowly.
“Oh, well I'm free so do you want to get something to drink??” Liam asked and I gave him the weirdest look. “Like coffee.” He added.
“I'm fine, I would rather just take a jog, sweat it out, then shower. I mean it is three past noon.” I replied.
“Ok, I'll be here if you need anything.” He sat on his bed and turned on the TV.
“Ok. Oh hey can I use your iPod??” I asked stopping in front of him.
“Yeah it's in the bathroom.” He pointed with the remote. I grabbed it and plugged my headphones in whilst I walked down the stairs. I only do lifts when Liam is there. We are in Brazil right now; we headed out right after the VMA’s to get these contracts signed and out of America. Since we’re in Brazil not many people know us. Some of the very few that know us freak out and faint but that’s only two out of every twenty people, mostly girls. I jogged around the corner and past little shops. Seeing work out places was odd since I was just randomly jogging on the empty sidewalks. I continued to go around the block several times. This wasn’t clearing my head like I wanted it too. I was still busy, I still had stuff to do, I still had to talk to her, and I still had a show coming up. I was still too busy. I need something that will help me be numb for a whilst. Drugs, Liam would kill me. Drinking was too obvious. I needed something, someone. Her. I refuse to admit I like her, I don’t know her. If I got to know her then yeah I mean there is the possibility but for now I refuse to say I like her. I can't even remember how they said her name. It was weird. Very weird. Isabelle is too normal, and Izzy would be too short. Her dancing was perfect. She didn’t learn that, it was all natural born skill, or she started at a very young age. How did she know Justin?? He said something about ‘close to his family’. That could mean anything. I wonder who her family is??
“Niall??” Someone in front of me yelled. I took out a headphone and looked around. “Niall!” They said again. Selena.
“Selena.” I smiled happy to see her. She was a great friend but I know I'm going to get romantically linked to her by magazines.
“Why are you in brazil??” She asked.
“Well we headed out here to sign some contracts for a new show we are judging. I guess that’s it.”
“Did you come all the way to Brazil to sign a piece of paper for something you're filming in America??” She had a valid point.
“I guess we did.” I shrug.
“Where are you going??”
“Nowhere really, I have just been jogging around, trying to clear my head.” I said walking beside her. We were back tracking where I jogged but I didn’t mind.
“So, since you're here and I'm here we should hang out.” She was hesitant but finished anyway.
“Yeah, maybe before I go to L.A. we could get coffee.” I smiled.
“Why not now??” She proposed.
“Because I just jogged a bunch of miles and I need to shower.” I laughed like it was obvious.
“Well make sure you reach me before you leave.” She waved goodbye whilst she walked into a shop.
“Sure thing.” I waved. I felt better; I mean she is nice but not my type. Actually even if she was my type Bieber would be out to get me. Rain check on coffee with Selena. I walked back to the hotel and saw paps waiting for one of us. I got to be that one. They all swarmed me and I tried to push through them but I was starting to feel it sink in. small spaces and flashes were all I could really get out of my situation.
“Niall, are you dating Selena??”
“How do you feel about your new show??”
“Can you give us insight on the other boys’ lives??”
“Did you get drunk with Harry??”
“Why are you here and not in America??”
“Leave me alone!” I shouted and tried to keep pushing through. I made it to the doors and ran in. I wanted, needed to get away. Something was very wrong. I needed to go home. I need to get away. I went straight to my room and threw open the door. Liam sat up fast and looked at me.
“Niall.”
“Don’t say anything.” I said bitter. I opened up the bathroom door and stripped down to nothing and hopped in the shower. Tomorrow I'm having coffee and leaving. Anything that needs to be done here will be done tomorrow.
“Niall.” Liam was outside the door.
“Come in.” I didn’t need to be a dick to everyone because I'm having problems. I'm getting nervous and I can't take it anymore.
“What happened??”
“Nothing happened. I just need some space and time to think. Tomorrow, I'm going home.”
“Niall you need to talk to Simon.”
“Liam, I know. I will clear it all. I just need a break.” I was breaking and no one saw it until now.
“I'll call Simon now.”
“Liam I can do it.” I snapped.
“I don’t think you should. You can shower and get packed. I'll take care of Simon and explain to the boys tomorrow. Which house are you going to??” He had a good point. We all have more than one home. We have where we grew up, mine being Ireland, and our house in L.A.
“I don’t know, maybe Ireland. I just need a break.” I whispered.
“Finish your shower. I'll work it out.” Liam was the only one that could take a slight notice in how hard things get for me. I showered and barely did anything once I was out. I just wanted to leave. I lay on my bed and text Selena a time and place for coffee. She replied with a smiley face and I knew that I was going home tomorrow. Liam wasn’t in the room so I assume he was telling Simon what was wrong. I just grazed sleep when Liam came back in.
“You have to go to the house in L.A. we are shooting there and Simon would much rather have you there so you can at least be prepared for the show in two weeks.”
“Two weeks??” I was hoping for time not two weeks.
“We start recordings early and believe it or not you can actually rehearse a live event.” Liam tried to smile but it was a fail.
“Fine, I'll go there but I really can't have everyone around me. I need my space Liam.” I stressed that the most.
“Tomorrow you will be on a flight to America. You will get all the space you need. Just try and take care of yourself, don’t do anything like last time.” Liam knew when I was anxious I did dumb things.
“Sleep sounds good right now. I'll get up early and pack then head to the airport.” I left out Selena and I’s coffee date because he would question where I was going with it. One of the stupid things I did when anxious was look for help in the wrong people. Girls being a bigger problem.
“I'll help you wherever you want it.” He said and shut off that lamp turning the room dark. I closed my eyes and wasn't ready for another day.

Notes