It Never Ends

“We need to talk!” I hear Louis’s voice ring in me ear.

I had just walked out the locker room and was on my way to the practice field.

It is the end of the day and soccer class had just started. The class I was excited to go to, but now dreaded.

“What’s up?” I reply, as if nothing is wrong.

Louis walks in pace that matches mine.

“That incident that happened in the hallway, that meant nothing right?” Louis asks.

Really?

“What do you mean Louis?” I ask annoyed.

“The awkward stare down.”

“Oh. I guess it means nothing.” I shrug quickening my pace, wanting to just get away from Louis.

I was feeling the waterworks start to arise and I was not going to embarrass myself in front of him again.

“illianna, wait!” Louis sighs.

I blink a few tears away.

“That came off way to strong. But I know that what you saw happen hurt you, and I need you to listen to me.” he tells me.

I nod, letting him continue.

“I saw you in the hallway, but I didn’t know what to tell you. We didn’t talk all weekend and I wasn’t sure if you needed your space or if you began to think differently. But I can assure you, there is nothing going on between me and Jenna.” Louis promises.

“She treated you as if you were her boyfriend. She likes you Louis.” I crack.

“I know, I know she does.” Louis nods, closing his eyes. “But I don’t have the same feelings for her that she has for me. The feelings I have are directed towards you. I like you illianna. Not Jenna. I want to be with you. Not Jenna.”

“But Jenna would clown on us if we started dating. I’m not on her level.” I assure him.

“I’m not worried on what Jenna thinks. All I’m worried about is being with you.” He confesses.

I sigh and step back.

If I trust Louis, then I will get shit from Jenna. If I don’t trust him, I’ll get shit from the whole team. The whole girls’ soccer team knows about our hook up. Everyone else is just oblivious to what happened.

And if I end our situation now, hopefully things would go back to the way they were.

Me being forbidden to talk to any guys.

“No.” I shake my head.

“No?” Louis repeats confused.

“No. I’m not cut out for you.” I respond.

Louis’s face drops. His color washes away.

“Oh no. Please don’t do this to me Lily.” He begs.

He urges and takes a step towards me. I hold my hand out to stop him.

“Stay away from me.”

“illianna…”

“I’ll fight for you Louis, but I’m not going to fight over you. If Jenna wants you, she can have you.” I defend myself.

"I'm sorry." He whispered.

“Forget it Louis. Maybe it wasn’t meant to be.”

“illianna, I didn’t intend on any of this to happen.” Louis pleads.

“Just stop! Quit talking like that. We barely even know each other. What happened over the weekend was only a one-time thing. It wasn’t important.” I snap.

Louis frowned.

"I can't believe I actually thought that maybe you liked me." I whisper more to myself.

“I do illianna! Being with you is what matters to me.” Louis says attempting to step forward again.

"Don't! Don't you dare!" I seethed, pointing my finger at him.

Louis holds his hands up in defense.

“I’m sorry Lily.”

"How could you pretend that everything was okay?"

"I don't know." Louis sighed.

“It could have worked out if there wasn’t a third person, but there is. And a relationship only consists of two people. I’m the one who is sorry.” I sob.

“Things change illianna! This is why I’ve told you now, so we can move pass this.” He explains.

I scoffed as my angry tears continued to flow.

“We’re not moving pass this. Stay away from me Louis.”

“illianna, you need to calm down. We can make this work.” He spoke softly, taking my wrist in his hand.

I yanked my limb away from him.

“Go away!” I yell.

“Lily…” he begged, his voice cracking.

I pushed on his chest and he stumbled back, I continued to hit him angrily as he backed into the hallway, attempting to hold me still.

Why was I so upset all of a sudden?

I pushed him against the door and continued to sob loudly.

“We didn’t work out Louis. But I still love you as a person. You’re an incredible person in my mind and always will be.” I cry.

"illianna! Please! You can't do this!" He bellowed.

I slid from under him and ran away, ignoring his chants. I ran to the practice field and out of the school zone.

Coach would be mad at for ditching practice but it doesn’t matter. Nothing mattered anymore.

I have to learn how to be okay without Louis though.

And I can’t wait for the day when I can look at him and feel absolutely nothing.

Notes

Another lame update.
I was kind of stuck on this chapter.

But some real-life events are about to happen.
Those events are going to involve me.
Feel free to ask any questions if you are curious abut something.

Perform the usual.