Over Again
Past
“You’re my back bone, you’re my cornerstone. You’re my crutch when my legs stop moving on, you’re my head start…” I had been working on this new song for the past week and couldn’t get it right. I kept playing with the tones and pitches of the song and have yet to get it right. The lyrics were done, it was just the other aspects of the song I needed to think about.
I filled my bowl up with cereal and milk and got a spoon from the drawer. I felt two hands on my hips, slipping under the tank top I was wearing. I smiled as I smelt the familiar cologne.
“Hello, love. As much as I enjoy seeing you in such little clothes, I have to ask what are you singing? Are you trying to wake up the whole bus or write a new song?” I pulled away and smacked him lightly on the chest, making me take notice that he was in nothing but his boxers. I bit my lip and turned back to my bowl of cereal.
Louis and I still hadn’t slept together, and we were both getting tired of waiting. Our kisses were getting more harsher and our make out sessions were getting a little bit hotter. However, we had decided we weren’t going to do it on the bus. According to Louis, he has big plans for our ‘first’ night but he won’t reveal them to me. But with him standing in front of me, his hair in different directions, his blue eyes bright but still a hint of sleep in them and his stubble that he hadn’t shaved, it was taking everything in me not to jump on top of him right then and there.
In order to distract myself, I grabbed my cereal bowl and sat down at the table.
“For your information, Tomlinson. Simon wanted me to finish up this song so I could send it to him. Or really send him a demo. He’s giving me till next week but I can’t seem to get the tone of the break right.” I continued to eat my food as I watched him pull out a granola bar from the top shelf.
“And when do you start recording your first single?” I shrugged and looked back at him.
“Whenever I finish it, Simon technically wants me to sign on his label. But I can’t sign the papers until we meet, which won’t be till the end of the tour.” Louis walked over to the table and sat across from me.
“What exactly happens after that?” I shrugged again.
“Simon said I need to work on some songs while I’m on tour. Then when we have the official meeting at the end of September I just need to sign the contract. After that he said it’s constant promotion and recording time.” Louis didn’t answer me. He got quiet and let out a ‘mmm’. I stared at him, confused.
“Hey,” He didn’t look up at me.
“Louis.” His eyes met mine.
“What’s going on?” He put down the wrapper and ran a hand through his hair.
“I just, I know how it is recording. I know how it is to do promotion and appearances. It’s exhausting. I just don’t want our relationship to be at jeopardy. I know it’s selfish but I mean I just got you.” What I learned in the past two-three weeks was that Louis wasn’t afraid to share how he felt with me anymore, and I loved him for that.
“Look, I know it’s going to be hard. I’m expecting it to be. But we’ve gotten this far and plus I know it’s exhausting. Do you forget I lived with Harry, when he was recording?” He looked back down.
“But just because it’s exhausting doesn’t mean I’m not going to try my hardest to keep our relationship alive. I’m excited for this, you should be to. Without all of you guys I wouldn’t be here. Be excited Louis, maybe I could even open for you guys next tour.” I joked making him crack a smile. I leaned over the table and grabbed his jaw to bring his lips to mine. I felt him sigh into the kiss and I smiled, pulling back.
“We’ll be okay.” He nodded again and looked toward the hall door. I turned my head to see Niall half asleep.
“What time is it?” I looked at the clock on the microwave.
“8:30 am. Why?” He groaned and threw himself onto my lap. I stared down at the lifeless body.
“Uh, Niall?”
“Shhhh, it’s too early for human life form.” Louis laughed and kicked him under the table.
“Wake up, lad and get off my girlfriend.” Niall looked up at me and smiled and then continued to resume his position. We heard the hall door open again and in walked Liam. He was half asleep but he looked more alive than Niall. He walked in with Loki hot on his trail. Danielle had Loki delivered last week and Liam was torn up about it but at the same time he was happy he got Loki. Loki was like their child.
“Morning, why is Niall on your girlfriend, Louis?” I laughed and shifted in my seat for Niall had more room. I was now up against the wall and his head was on my lap while his legs hung over the edge.
“Hello everyone!” My brother walked into the room with a huge smile on his face and none of us knew why.
“Why are you so happy, Harry?” He picked up Thor from the floor and snuggled him against his chest.
“Because it is Friday and you know what that means? We have no show tomorrow, which means we can go out and eat and relax and sleep!”
“You continue yelling the way you do, Haz, You’re going to wake Zayn and you’ll be dead.” Harry brushed off Louis’s words and sat down on the couch. I shook my head and finished off my cereal.
“Alright you boys, I’m going to go shower. Let me know how long till the next stop.” I got up and let Nialls head fall with a thud onto the cushion on the bench making me laugh. I was walking over to the small sink when someone grabbed my wrist making me turn around and see Louis smiling.
“Can I help you?”
“You can give me another kiss, maybe I can go join you in that shower.” I leaned forward to kiss him but was cut off when Harry made an eww sound.
“Your brother is sitting right here! And I am not impressed with watching my sister show PDA.” I turned away from Louis to glare at my brother.
“Harry, feed my dog.” I turned back to face Louis and my lips met his, taking me by surprise. He gripped my hips in his hand making me moan. He pulled away.
“I swear the next hotel room you’re mine.” I smiled and kissed him one more time before leaving to take my shower. I walked back to the bunks to get my shower stuff from my bunk and that’s when I heard it, a moan. Not just any moan, my name. I turned around and listened to where the moan was coming from. The only person who was still asleep was Zayn. I took in a shaky breath and walked closer to his bunk.
I halted when I heard him moan out my name again. I slowly pulled the curtain back and saw him on his back, gripping the sheet and from what I can tell, he was sporting morning wood. I squeaked and stepped back away from the bunk hoping he didn’t hear me. Was Zayn having a dream…about me? I shook my head and closed the curtain until I heard him whimper and there it was again, that moan. I shuddered and walked quickly to the bathroom. I wasn’t going to expose Zayn that way and make it awkward for both of us.
I closed the bathroom door and started the shower up. Why was Zayn moaning my name? I mean, I have been the only girl he’s been around lately and the last time he slept with someone was probably Perrie, so maybe that was it? He was sexually frustrated. The rest of my shower I did my best to convince myself that he was just…horny. I tried not to think too much into it and I came to the conclusion that I wasn’t going to say anything to him, or to anyone for that matter.
Halfway through my shower there was a knock on the door. I stuck my head out.
“What?”
“It’s me! I need to pee.” It was Zayn.
“I’m almost out.”
“I really need to go!” I stood there and realized I couldn’t let him in, not after what I experienced.
“Give me two minutes!”
“Kat!” I hurried up and rinsed my body and my hair and quickly shut off the shower. I practically jumped out and wrapped a towel around me. I pulled the door open to see Zayn leaning against the wall shuffling back and forth.
“Sorry.” I mumbled.
“It’s okay, love.” He practically leaped into the restroom leaving me outside in the cold. I turned around when I heard footsteps and saw Niall standing near the bunks smiling at me.
“Louis, you’re girlfriend is practically naked standing in the hallway. I don’t know if it’s an invitation or not!” I picked up the closest thing on the floor, which was Liam’s shoe and tossed it at Niall, hitting him in the chest.
I then saw Louis’s head poke out from the door way and then Liams head below him as well.
“You guys, can you stop! Zayn had to pee!”
“Well, this is definantly turning into a good morning.” That earned a slap to the back of Liam’s head from Louis.
“God, I need to go stay with Lou and Lux. Freaking horn dogs!” Zayn now opened the bathroom door looking bewildered at everyone staring at me. He then really took in my attire and did his half smirk.
“Well good morning to you too!” I let out a frustrated groan and pushed past him leaving him outside of the bathroom laughing, along with the rest of them.
Damn these boys.
x-x
I was now dressed and laying in my bunk. It was around 3:00pm and we were getting closer and closer to tonight’s venue. I looked down at the sleeping Louis on my chest, he looked so peaceful and calm.
Two months ago I wouldn’t have thought that he would be on my chest, asleep or even in a relationship with me. However, it doesn’t mean I’m not completely happy with the changes we’ve gone through. We haven’t gone public just because it’s too close to the break up with Eleanor and we don’t want the rumors that TMZ spilled to be proven true, just for the whole bands safety.
So we decided to wait even longer, meaning till when the tour is over. It irritated me but at the same time I know I needed to do it for Harry and the rest, even Eleanor. I didn’t want her to be made a fool of even if she wasn’t my favorite person.
Speaking of, Louis still talks to her. But it’s more of a friendship now. They ask each other how their days are and that’s basically it and it’s not everyday, which is good. At first it did bug me but I got over when I realized that’s how I was with the rest of the boys so I needed to be fair.
I looked down at my phone as I felt it vibrate. It said I had one new text message and then I received another one and then another one. I unlocked my phone carefully trying not to move too much to wake up Louis.
The messages were from a number I didn’t know.
“Hey, where are you?” Then it continued on.
“I know you’re with him.”
“What did I tell you?” I continued to get messages back to back after the first three. My hands were shaky as I read them.
“Whore.”
“How could you do that to Eleanor?”
“What about Harry?”
“Huh?”
“Babygirl, I know you’re there.”
“Talk to me, it’s been awhile.”
“I know you miss me.”
I had, had enough and turned my phone off. I didn’t know who it was but I had a feeling it was Matt. What the hell was he up to? He had no proof of Louis and I and if he did why hadn’t he used it yet.
I guess I wasn’t being as quiet as I thought I was cause Louis moved and looked up at me.
“Hey, babe.” I smiled down at him, trying to calm my anxiety. I didn’t want to tell him about the messages, he still didn’t know about the previous phone call. I didn’t even know if it was for sure Matt.
“Hey, did I wake you?” He shook his head and smiled.
“I-“ He was cut off by Zayn walking in. He looked at my bunk and I swear I saw a look of disappointment cross his face but then he covered it up.
“We’re here. I suggest you wear something not so heavy, it’s hot outside.” With that he left. We stared at the spot he stood and then looked back at each other.
“That was weird. But I guess we should get up.” I nodded and watched as Louis jumped out of
the bunk.
“Hey, love? You okay?” I looked up at him and nodded.
“Sorry, just a tiny headache.” There I go, lying to him.
“Hmm, maybe they’ll have something in the dressing room for headaches. Come on.” I jumped out of the bunk and smiled as Louis held my hand. We walked to the front of the bus and saw that it was empty, meaning the rest had probably gotten off the bus. Louis had opened the door and walked out before me, I followed him out until I was pulled by my arm into someone’s embrace.
“Katherina Styles, long time no see.” That voice.
“Kat, I need you to go back inside.” I looked up at Harry, he was the one who grabbed me.
“Aw, What’s wrong? It could be like old times.” I turned away in Harry’s embrace.
“Kat-“ I ignored my brother’s protest and turned around. There stood Matt, he had smirk on his face. Zayn, Niall and Liam were standing in front of him. Louis was standing next to Harry.
“Why didn’t you text me back? I thought we were friends?” I was completely speechless. His tone made me want to throw up and I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to punch someone so hard in the face. I closed my eyes and imagined that night, the night where I had to walk with a messed up ankle. My eyes snapped open and I could feel the fear take over me, even though I was surrounded by my brother and the rest.
“Aren’t you going to introduce me to your boyfriend?”
“I’m sorry, I have to go.” I couldn’t do it. I ran back onto the bus and slammed the door, I was immediately overwhelmed, what was he doing here?
I filled my bowl up with cereal and milk and got a spoon from the drawer. I felt two hands on my hips, slipping under the tank top I was wearing. I smiled as I smelt the familiar cologne.
“Hello, love. As much as I enjoy seeing you in such little clothes, I have to ask what are you singing? Are you trying to wake up the whole bus or write a new song?” I pulled away and smacked him lightly on the chest, making me take notice that he was in nothing but his boxers. I bit my lip and turned back to my bowl of cereal.
Louis and I still hadn’t slept together, and we were both getting tired of waiting. Our kisses were getting more harsher and our make out sessions were getting a little bit hotter. However, we had decided we weren’t going to do it on the bus. According to Louis, he has big plans for our ‘first’ night but he won’t reveal them to me. But with him standing in front of me, his hair in different directions, his blue eyes bright but still a hint of sleep in them and his stubble that he hadn’t shaved, it was taking everything in me not to jump on top of him right then and there.
In order to distract myself, I grabbed my cereal bowl and sat down at the table.
“For your information, Tomlinson. Simon wanted me to finish up this song so I could send it to him. Or really send him a demo. He’s giving me till next week but I can’t seem to get the tone of the break right.” I continued to eat my food as I watched him pull out a granola bar from the top shelf.
“And when do you start recording your first single?” I shrugged and looked back at him.
“Whenever I finish it, Simon technically wants me to sign on his label. But I can’t sign the papers until we meet, which won’t be till the end of the tour.” Louis walked over to the table and sat across from me.
“What exactly happens after that?” I shrugged again.
“Simon said I need to work on some songs while I’m on tour. Then when we have the official meeting at the end of September I just need to sign the contract. After that he said it’s constant promotion and recording time.” Louis didn’t answer me. He got quiet and let out a ‘mmm’. I stared at him, confused.
“Hey,” He didn’t look up at me.
“Louis.” His eyes met mine.
“What’s going on?” He put down the wrapper and ran a hand through his hair.
“I just, I know how it is recording. I know how it is to do promotion and appearances. It’s exhausting. I just don’t want our relationship to be at jeopardy. I know it’s selfish but I mean I just got you.” What I learned in the past two-three weeks was that Louis wasn’t afraid to share how he felt with me anymore, and I loved him for that.
“Look, I know it’s going to be hard. I’m expecting it to be. But we’ve gotten this far and plus I know it’s exhausting. Do you forget I lived with Harry, when he was recording?” He looked back down.
“But just because it’s exhausting doesn’t mean I’m not going to try my hardest to keep our relationship alive. I’m excited for this, you should be to. Without all of you guys I wouldn’t be here. Be excited Louis, maybe I could even open for you guys next tour.” I joked making him crack a smile. I leaned over the table and grabbed his jaw to bring his lips to mine. I felt him sigh into the kiss and I smiled, pulling back.
“We’ll be okay.” He nodded again and looked toward the hall door. I turned my head to see Niall half asleep.
“What time is it?” I looked at the clock on the microwave.
“8:30 am. Why?” He groaned and threw himself onto my lap. I stared down at the lifeless body.
“Uh, Niall?”
“Shhhh, it’s too early for human life form.” Louis laughed and kicked him under the table.
“Wake up, lad and get off my girlfriend.” Niall looked up at me and smiled and then continued to resume his position. We heard the hall door open again and in walked Liam. He was half asleep but he looked more alive than Niall. He walked in with Loki hot on his trail. Danielle had Loki delivered last week and Liam was torn up about it but at the same time he was happy he got Loki. Loki was like their child.
“Morning, why is Niall on your girlfriend, Louis?” I laughed and shifted in my seat for Niall had more room. I was now up against the wall and his head was on my lap while his legs hung over the edge.
“Hello everyone!” My brother walked into the room with a huge smile on his face and none of us knew why.
“Why are you so happy, Harry?” He picked up Thor from the floor and snuggled him against his chest.
“Because it is Friday and you know what that means? We have no show tomorrow, which means we can go out and eat and relax and sleep!”
“You continue yelling the way you do, Haz, You’re going to wake Zayn and you’ll be dead.” Harry brushed off Louis’s words and sat down on the couch. I shook my head and finished off my cereal.
“Alright you boys, I’m going to go shower. Let me know how long till the next stop.” I got up and let Nialls head fall with a thud onto the cushion on the bench making me laugh. I was walking over to the small sink when someone grabbed my wrist making me turn around and see Louis smiling.
“Can I help you?”
“You can give me another kiss, maybe I can go join you in that shower.” I leaned forward to kiss him but was cut off when Harry made an eww sound.
“Your brother is sitting right here! And I am not impressed with watching my sister show PDA.” I turned away from Louis to glare at my brother.
“Harry, feed my dog.” I turned back to face Louis and my lips met his, taking me by surprise. He gripped my hips in his hand making me moan. He pulled away.
“I swear the next hotel room you’re mine.” I smiled and kissed him one more time before leaving to take my shower. I walked back to the bunks to get my shower stuff from my bunk and that’s when I heard it, a moan. Not just any moan, my name. I turned around and listened to where the moan was coming from. The only person who was still asleep was Zayn. I took in a shaky breath and walked closer to his bunk.
I halted when I heard him moan out my name again. I slowly pulled the curtain back and saw him on his back, gripping the sheet and from what I can tell, he was sporting morning wood. I squeaked and stepped back away from the bunk hoping he didn’t hear me. Was Zayn having a dream…about me? I shook my head and closed the curtain until I heard him whimper and there it was again, that moan. I shuddered and walked quickly to the bathroom. I wasn’t going to expose Zayn that way and make it awkward for both of us.
I closed the bathroom door and started the shower up. Why was Zayn moaning my name? I mean, I have been the only girl he’s been around lately and the last time he slept with someone was probably Perrie, so maybe that was it? He was sexually frustrated. The rest of my shower I did my best to convince myself that he was just…horny. I tried not to think too much into it and I came to the conclusion that I wasn’t going to say anything to him, or to anyone for that matter.
Halfway through my shower there was a knock on the door. I stuck my head out.
“What?”
“It’s me! I need to pee.” It was Zayn.
“I’m almost out.”
“I really need to go!” I stood there and realized I couldn’t let him in, not after what I experienced.
“Give me two minutes!”
“Kat!” I hurried up and rinsed my body and my hair and quickly shut off the shower. I practically jumped out and wrapped a towel around me. I pulled the door open to see Zayn leaning against the wall shuffling back and forth.
“Sorry.” I mumbled.
“It’s okay, love.” He practically leaped into the restroom leaving me outside in the cold. I turned around when I heard footsteps and saw Niall standing near the bunks smiling at me.
“Louis, you’re girlfriend is practically naked standing in the hallway. I don’t know if it’s an invitation or not!” I picked up the closest thing on the floor, which was Liam’s shoe and tossed it at Niall, hitting him in the chest.
I then saw Louis’s head poke out from the door way and then Liams head below him as well.
“You guys, can you stop! Zayn had to pee!”
“Well, this is definantly turning into a good morning.” That earned a slap to the back of Liam’s head from Louis.
“God, I need to go stay with Lou and Lux. Freaking horn dogs!” Zayn now opened the bathroom door looking bewildered at everyone staring at me. He then really took in my attire and did his half smirk.
“Well good morning to you too!” I let out a frustrated groan and pushed past him leaving him outside of the bathroom laughing, along with the rest of them.
Damn these boys.
x-x
I was now dressed and laying in my bunk. It was around 3:00pm and we were getting closer and closer to tonight’s venue. I looked down at the sleeping Louis on my chest, he looked so peaceful and calm.
Two months ago I wouldn’t have thought that he would be on my chest, asleep or even in a relationship with me. However, it doesn’t mean I’m not completely happy with the changes we’ve gone through. We haven’t gone public just because it’s too close to the break up with Eleanor and we don’t want the rumors that TMZ spilled to be proven true, just for the whole bands safety.
So we decided to wait even longer, meaning till when the tour is over. It irritated me but at the same time I know I needed to do it for Harry and the rest, even Eleanor. I didn’t want her to be made a fool of even if she wasn’t my favorite person.
Speaking of, Louis still talks to her. But it’s more of a friendship now. They ask each other how their days are and that’s basically it and it’s not everyday, which is good. At first it did bug me but I got over when I realized that’s how I was with the rest of the boys so I needed to be fair.
I looked down at my phone as I felt it vibrate. It said I had one new text message and then I received another one and then another one. I unlocked my phone carefully trying not to move too much to wake up Louis.
The messages were from a number I didn’t know.
“Hey, where are you?” Then it continued on.
“I know you’re with him.”
“What did I tell you?” I continued to get messages back to back after the first three. My hands were shaky as I read them.
“Whore.”
“How could you do that to Eleanor?”
“What about Harry?”
“Huh?”
“Babygirl, I know you’re there.”
“Talk to me, it’s been awhile.”
“I know you miss me.”
I had, had enough and turned my phone off. I didn’t know who it was but I had a feeling it was Matt. What the hell was he up to? He had no proof of Louis and I and if he did why hadn’t he used it yet.
I guess I wasn’t being as quiet as I thought I was cause Louis moved and looked up at me.
“Hey, babe.” I smiled down at him, trying to calm my anxiety. I didn’t want to tell him about the messages, he still didn’t know about the previous phone call. I didn’t even know if it was for sure Matt.
“Hey, did I wake you?” He shook his head and smiled.
“I-“ He was cut off by Zayn walking in. He looked at my bunk and I swear I saw a look of disappointment cross his face but then he covered it up.
“We’re here. I suggest you wear something not so heavy, it’s hot outside.” With that he left. We stared at the spot he stood and then looked back at each other.
“That was weird. But I guess we should get up.” I nodded and watched as Louis jumped out of
the bunk.
“Hey, love? You okay?” I looked up at him and nodded.
“Sorry, just a tiny headache.” There I go, lying to him.
“Hmm, maybe they’ll have something in the dressing room for headaches. Come on.” I jumped out of the bunk and smiled as Louis held my hand. We walked to the front of the bus and saw that it was empty, meaning the rest had probably gotten off the bus. Louis had opened the door and walked out before me, I followed him out until I was pulled by my arm into someone’s embrace.
“Katherina Styles, long time no see.” That voice.
“Kat, I need you to go back inside.” I looked up at Harry, he was the one who grabbed me.
“Aw, What’s wrong? It could be like old times.” I turned away in Harry’s embrace.
“Kat-“ I ignored my brother’s protest and turned around. There stood Matt, he had smirk on his face. Zayn, Niall and Liam were standing in front of him. Louis was standing next to Harry.
“Why didn’t you text me back? I thought we were friends?” I was completely speechless. His tone made me want to throw up and I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to punch someone so hard in the face. I closed my eyes and imagined that night, the night where I had to walk with a messed up ankle. My eyes snapped open and I could feel the fear take over me, even though I was surrounded by my brother and the rest.
“Aren’t you going to introduce me to your boyfriend?”
“I’m sorry, I have to go.” I couldn’t do it. I ran back onto the bus and slammed the door, I was immediately overwhelmed, what was he doing here?
Notes
I LOVE ALL OF YOU.LIFE KEEPS GETTING IN THE WAY AND IM SORRY.
IM ALSO SORRY IF THIS CHAPTER IS SHIT.
BUT IT NEEDED TO BE DONE.
IM STILL ALIVE AND IM STILL WRITING
DONT THINK IM DONE JUST YET.
I LOVE YOU ALL AND SORRY FOR THE WAIT.
<3 VIX
Please update
3/26/14