Dahlia’s Point of View

I felt bad for ditching out on Harry yesterday, but I needed time to think. He had called twice yesterday and sent a few texts asking where I went, but I had ignored them.

I knew it wasn’t fair to shut him out, but I was trying to process these feelings I was having, and attempting to figure out what I was going to to about them. There was no way Harry and I could continue our friendship if that’s all it ever was. My feelings for him exceeded a friendly level years ago.

I felt guilty for thinking it, but I wanted him to be more than my friend.

I was so conflicted in my mind, my head literally ached. My feelings for Harry were so strong, and I knew there was something more between us than we were both showing, but I also understood how completely wrong it was. He was my boyfriend’s best friend.

I also had the fear that these feelings were simply a result of me wanting a rebound. I’d had love and affection showered on me constantly for ten years from Louis… maybe I was just feeling desperate for affection again after being deprived of it for a few months?

God, I hope not.

It was four by the time I decided I wasn’t going to do anything; I’d make up an excuse to tell Harry explaining why I’d left yesterday, and we’d continue our friendship, no matter how hard it was for me to hide my feelings. All I knew was that I needed Harry in my life however I could get him.

Today had actually turned out much better than expected. The delivery company had called me saying that my things had made it earlier than expected, and they’d deliver it to my apartment.

I was sitting on my much missed bed when Harry called me. This time, I didn’t ignore it.

“Hello?” I answered, already trying to formulate an excuse for shutting him out the past 36 hours.

“Lia,” he breathes, “why haven’t you answered any of my calls? Where did you go yesterday? Are you okay?”

I couldn’t help but smile. I loved that he was worried about me. “I’m sorry, but yes, I’m okay. I had to take care of some things. I’m really sorry.”

I hear him exhale noisily over the line and wait for him to reply. “Please tell me you didn’t stay at your place last night?”

“I did,” I tell him. “It’s fine, Harry. Anyways, my things came. I’m finally all moved in… That’s why I had to go—the movers called and I needed to get to my apartment.”

“Good… Sorry, I just got… I was just worried, that’s all.”

“I know, I’m sorry. I should’ve called. I just got busy getting all of my things unpacked,” I lie. Honestly, the movers did just about everything for me. All that was left for me was to organize my clothes and personal belongings.

“It’s okay. So you’re all moved in?”

“Yeah,” I tell him.

“Aren’t you going to invite me over to see it?” I can tell he’s smiling, and it only puts a smile on my own face. Scratch that; it’s more of a grin.

I want nothing more. “If you want to.”

“I’ll be over in an hour, I need to finish some things here at work then I’ll head over.”

“Okay,” I smile to myself. “I’ll be here.”

“I’ll see you then, Lia,” he says and hangs up.

I sit cross-legged on my bed for probably five minutes, grinning like a love-sick fool before I realize I’m still wearing my sweats and I haven’t showered since yesterday.

I shower in record time and apply just a little mascara and eyeliner to hide my tired eyes. I brush out my long hair and change into some leggings and my favorite oversized sweater; cute but casual enough for a quiet, chill night.

Next, I tidy up the discarded boxes around my apartment and make sure everything looks perfect. When I see the kitchen, a thought crosses my mind.

I smile as I find that I have all of the ingredients I need to make chocolate chip cookies and begin making them. An hour later, I barely hear the knock at the door as I dance to the music on my iPod playing loudly on my dock while cleaning up the mess I’ve made.

“Hey,” I smile as I open up the door.

“Hey,” Harry returns a lazy, dimpled smile, making my body heat.

Be calm, Dahlia.

“Come in,” I say and hold the door open. I let him in and lock the door behind him. “I still need a few more things, but it’s definitely better than the last time you saw it,” I joke.

“I like it,” he says, inviting himself in. He looks around the apartment for a minute or so before turning to me slowly. “Am I smelling what I think I am?” He smirks.

I nod with a smile. “They should be done in the next five minutes. I’ll go check.”

“Have I ever told you how amazing you are?”

I turned to check the cookies to hide my very obvious blush at his compliment. “Perfect timing, they’re done.”

I hear Harry make a sound of anticipation as I go to remove the pan from the oven… with my bare hand.

“Fuck!” I screech and withdrawal my burnt hand. “Ow ow ow.”

“Fuck, Lia, what were you thinking?” Harry says harshly and grabs my arm. He leads me over to the sink and quickly turns on the cold water and puts my tender hand under the cool spray.

“Ow,” I repeat and start laughing. “I’m a dumb ass.”

Harry looks at me sternly before his lips crack into a smile. “Yeah, you are.”

Despite the cold water running over my hand, it feels as if it’s burning, and not because of the hot pan I touched. Harry’s hand still hold my wrist under the water, and it’s making me forget the shooting pain from the burn.

I reluctantly say, “will you get the cookies out before they burn? And use that oven mitt,” I add with a smile.

He looks at me and nods. I feel empty once he removes his hand to take the cookies out. God. I’m in too deep. And I have no idea what to do about it.

I’m lost in my thoughts by the time Harry returns to my pathetic ass at the sink and turns off the water. “Do you have a first aid kit anywhere?”

I point to the cabinet above the counter and watch him take out the box to find some antibiotic ointment and a bandage. I hold my breath as he nurses my burn and finishes with a kiss over the bandage that I am now sporting on the palm of my hand.

“All better,” he says and puts away the first aid kit. “Can we have cookies now?”

I laugh. “You are five.”

“Hey! 28 year olds love cookies too. Especially Dahlia Rae Evan’s famous chocolate chip ones.”

I continue to laugh as I use the spatula to carefully transfer the cookies from the pan to a plate. “Haven’t made these in awhile. Hopefully they’re not too bad.”

I watch as Harry takes a whole one into his mouth, ignoring the fact that they just came out of the oven. “Hah! They’re even better than I remember.”

“You’re just saying that,” I smile and bite off my own. I close my eyes as I chew, practically moaning at the taste.

When I open my eyes, Harry’s are boring into mine. “What?”

He shakes his head. “Wanna watch a movie or something?”

I’m so confused by the exchange, all I do is nod. I grab the plate of cookies, knowing Harry will eat more, if not all, and follow him into my now furnished living room. I let him pick the movie—some action movie I’d never heard of—and sit down on the couch.

Harry sits next to me, very close I might add, and presses play on the remote. Once the movie starts, he leans forward and grabs two cookies for each of us, and moves closer to me when he sits back. I don’t know what to make of our position, but I’m not complaining.

“So since you abandoned me yesterday,” he teases, “can you stop by my work tomorrow to meet the guy I was telling you about? The one I want you to photograph?”

I nod eagerly. “Yeah, of course. Not like I have anything else to do,” I laugh. “I really need to find a job.”

“You’ll find one, Lia, you’re too talented not to. And anyway, until you do, you can keep taking pictures for me,” he smiles. I love that smile.

“Thanks, Haz."

We watch the movie and eat some more cookies in a comfortable silence, but suddenly, it all becomes too much for me. Being so close to him, sharing such a normal night with him… I can’t do it.

“Do you want something to drink? Or something else to eat?” I ask, desperate to get away from him for a minute. I need to breathe.

“I’m good, thanks.”

“I’m just going to get some water. I’ll be right back,” I announce and get up.

I curse to myself when I get to the privacy of the kitchen. I feel the beginnings of an anxiety attack course through me and quickly down a bottle of water in hopes to calm myself down. I don’t know what to do, and I’ve just realized not doing anything about my feelings is only making things harder.

I need to tell Harry the truth. Whether it ruins our friendship or brings us closer.

“Harry,” I practically whisper and pick up the remote to pause the movie.

He looks at me standing in front of me and frowns. “What is it, Lia?”

“I lied to you… about why I left yesterday morning,” I hesitate before continuing, but he doesn’t say anything. “I went to go get us breakfast, but I saw something… it made me upset.”

I feel the nerves kick in, and my body begins to shake.

“What did you see?” He asks, his brows furrowed in confusion. When I don’t answer, he holds his hands out and takes mine. “What is it, Lia? You can tell me anything.”

“It was a tabloid,” I laugh once realizing how pathetic I sound. “I know I’m overreacting, just never mind.”

“Tell me.”

I shake my head and pull my hands from his. This was such a bad idea.

“Dahlia. Tell me what you saw.”

I bite my lip, refusing to tell him. He stands up and forces me to look at him. Harry stares into my eyes, silently demanding him to tell him until I finally do.

“It was a picture of you… and some red head. Just forget about it.”

Harry tenses, and the pain in my heart increases. He sits back down and runs a hand through his hair. His reaction only confirms that what I saw was real.

“Why did that make you upset?” Harry asks quietly, although I’m sure he already knows the answer.

I take a deep breath and sit down, leaving space between us. “I don’t know.”

“Yes you do,” he says harshly. “Tell me why.”

I weigh the consequences of telling him the truth, but I can feel his intense eyes on me, and the pressure gets to me. “Because Harry,” I concede. “Because I was jealous!”

I’m not sure how it happened, but the next thing I knew, my lips were on Harry’s and we were kissing.

Not just a normal kiss. Definitely not a kiss shared between two friends. Nope. This was a full on passionate kiss. I felt myself become light headed by it; I had waited for this for far too long than I care to admit, and the emotion packed into it was overwhelming enough. And the fact that Harry was kissing me back with the same; if not more force… I was so happy in that moment.

One of Harry’s large hands moved to caress my cheek, the other one tangled in my long hair. He groaned as I moved closer and my hand fisted into his soft, thick hair.

Abruptly, he pulled back, his lips swollen and red from out kiss. We didn’t share any words, but a knowing look. I didn’t know what to do, a million emotions were running through me.

“We can’t,” he finally said. “I need to go.”

I frowned, opening my mouth to say something, anything to get him to stay, but I was frozen. I knew we couldn’t, but I wasn’t able to restrain myself.

Apparently neither was he.

It was hard not to notice the large bulge at the zipper of his jeans as he got up and grabbed his jacket.

Half of me was excited that I had done that to him, but the other half was still so confused.

Why was he leaving?

“Wait,” I finally pleaded. “Harry…”

“Lia,” he sighed, not looking back at me. “We shouldn’t do this. It’s not right… You’re Louis’s girl. Not mine.”

I couldn’t even force out a response before Harry left my apartment.

How could things be so great, then turn to terrible in a matter of seconds?

Notes

Sorry for taking so long to update, but I was out of town all weekend. Hope you all had a wonderful Easter!

I want to thank you all for your nice and encouraging comments, and let you know that I will continue on with this story as long as people are still reading it!

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