The Chain

The thing about me, is, well, I was an accident.
Ironically, in 2 ways.
First of all, my parents forgot the condom. Strike 1. The other ironic reason? I was born on a highway. Yes, a fucking highway. Where most accidents happen. Strike 2.

Whatever, they loved me.
Anyhow, later my sister Katie was born. Katie. Who ever thought such a bitty and small name like.. KATIE.. would bear a crazy gangster?

Yes, that's Katie.
She was born on a sidewalk. Gee, what kind of things my parents go through to bear their children.
They sold real estate, and get this.
My sweet, dear mother just went into labour.

'Nough about my family.
Oh, wait. I forgot our little brother.
Yep, finally, a BROTHER, someone we can tease about having a girlfriend and put makeup on on our sleepover nights.

His name is Liam.
HO, HO, GUESS WHAT MY LAST NAME IS!?
No, it's not Williams.
Or Edwards.
Or Grey.
Jesus, it's Payne.

Now you know the reason paparazzi sometimes flash me with Liam. He's Liam Payne, 1/5 of One Direction, for crying out loud!

That's basically it; my life summarized in a couple sentences.
Next, let me tell you about my life.

See, my best friend and I - let's not name here - made a bet..
A bet that if I lost, I'd have to be One Direction's.. maid.

Shit.
A million girls would love to switch places with me.
So here's what I am.

Harry Styles's alcoholic partner. He just drinks too much. Problem, right there. He's not trying to stop it, either, and when he picked what I had to do for him, his twisted grin hinted that I would be chugging down a lot of vodkas.

Niall Horan's party organizer. Seems kind of strange, but Horan is a HUGE partier. Almost every night he throws this huge party and wakes up half the neighbors. Who plans that, all of that? This gal.

Zayn's love agent. Yep, this one's real fun. I set up dates for him. Apparently, none of them are enough to satisfy his love-crazy ass. I even tried Non Named Bestie. He threw her on my doorstep. Actually, rewind. He'd be in prison if he did that, or something.

Liam and Katie's older sister, of course.

And Louis Tomlinson's.. um.. friend. He doesn't really need anything.

Louis Tomlinson is normal.
None of them are, except for the Tommo. Of course he's crazy and funny, but really. Is he my brother? No. Is he love-crazy? No. Is he an alcoholic abuser? No. Does he LOVE to throw parties? Nada.

Imagine my surprise at the first kiss.
My name is Jaya Abigail Payne, and this is my story.

Notes