Less Than One Minute Old

Who knew three years later this boy would be able to make me nervous. I keep telling myself it's because I haven't seem him in so long, but I know that isn't the case. I keep wondering if he doesn't think I'm as beautiful. I mean my hips are wider, my breasts are bigger, I have a few stretch marks. What am I doing? This man in front of me is a coward. He left me and our daughter. Everything I had loved about him, everything about him that made me erupted into butterflies, doesn't matter anymore. They say that you learn a lot about a person by the way the react in a hard situation. How the handle things shows a glimpse of who they really are because it's easy to be happy when things are good, but when things get hard what then? He proved to me who is was the day he left and the months after. Being the emotional and hormonal girl I was back then I called and called him. I sent him pictures of the sonograms, hoping to change his mind. But it never worked. So why are we here at this table three years later? Why is he doing this to me and my child? I thought this was a good idea at first, I could get some closure and I could explain things to Elliot, but sitting here makes me rethink all of that. I just feel angry but most of all hurt.

I haven't been paying much attention to Louis and his conversation. I've been coloring on the napkins that the waitress brought with Elliot, but I can sense his eyes staring at us. Louis awkwardly coughs which causes me to look up. They both are looking at me as if I should be the one talking. They are sure as hell out of their minds if they think it is going to end up that way.

"Look, Elliot and I have a lot to do today, I've got to get back to work soon and this is ruining time I could be spending with my daughter. So unless you have something to say that might be worth my time, which I highly doubt, that we will be leaving."

They both looked a little taken back, but not that much. Harry knows better than anyone that I have a short temper, and I don't put up with bullshit so honestly it surprises me that he is sitting here across from me and the daughter he left years ago.

"Look.. I uhm. I just wanted to talk. Catch up. Erm. Well I know you hate me, I really don't blame you. I hate me, I just..well.. I'm sorry. I know it means nothing and nothing I can do or say will ever take back what I did, I just want to help try to fix it." He rubbed the back of his neck and kept looking down, something I knew he did when he was nervous and anxious. Well he should be.

I just sat there staring at him as if he had five heads. I kept trying to figure out what type of drug might he be on to think that after three years that is what he is going to say to fix it? I turned to Louis. "Can you take Elliot to the pond over there by the boats, here's some money to buy her a sailboat. Thanks."

"No.. I have money. You don't need to be paying with this was my idea. Here Lou, and get her some ice cream if she wants." This idiot really just..I cannot even breathe right now I am so angry. As soon as Louis and Elliot are out of hearing range, I turn to him and slap him across the face.

"How dare you? You haven't change you fucking prick! I swear Harry how dare you? I am literally at a loss for words. At least when you left me and that beautiful girl, I could maybe understand. Just a tiny bit I got it. But what you are doing right now isn't right and it makes you even more of a prick."

He looked like my words hurt him more than my slap and I am kind of glad. "Look.. Emily. I am trying to fix this. I want to fix this. In the past few years I always knew I had to fix it, and up until recently I just never had the balls too-"

"Yeah, well that seems to be a matter. You never having the balls too do what's right."

"Look Em, God I know I messed up. Looking at that girl now and you, it breaks my heart. I can literally feel it shattering and I just want to help. I want to do something to make it somewhat better."

"Are you stupid? Has your English brain suffered some type of injury? I am not letting you into my daughters life because you feel guilty. You deserve to have a guilty conscious and I will not be a pawn, and neither will Elliot, to make you feel better."

"God no that's not what I am saying! I don't have to see her, I don't have to be near her, she doesn't even have to know who I am. I would just give you money or clothes, anything! I want to make this right, not for you or me, for her. I swear Emily when I saw her in that window I knew I messed up. All my suspicions were confirmed as soon as I saw her face. Emily you have to believe me I mean no harm, I just want to help."

I literally laughed right in his face. "Harry, if you meant no harm you wouldn't have left. You wouldn't of told your friends about her and had him spy on her. You would have done this differently. This whole situation has showed me who you are. You are a selfish coward and there is no way around that. You aren't an asshole or a dick, you are just a selfish coward and I doubt you have changed in the last three years."

"Emily...you know me. I'm still the guy that would cook you dinner every night no matter how late it was. I am still the guy who would try all of your cupcakes even if it made me throw up. I am still the guy who knows everything about you. Emily I am still the guy from three years ago."

"Exactly.. and I don't want that guy to be around my daughter."

"Emily, I'm not saying that I will do this.. But she is mine too and legally I have every right to her. I can take you to court and more than likely I would win. I am a lawyer if you forgot. I am not saying I would do that to you, but I want to help in anyway you see fit. So please let me."

This has to be a joke. He seriously is not threatening me by taking my daughter away. I can't help but start to tear up at the thought of loosing her to him. I literally have no words for him. I just want to leave and take my daughter home. I have never hated someone so much.

"I want you to know Harry, I hate you. I cannot stand you and I hope my daughter doesn't turn out to be a thing like you. You can see her once every week, supervised, and she will not know who you are. Nothing more than Harry, got it?"

"Em---"

"Save it, Harry. This is visit one. I'm going to get Elliot but you be nothing but nice to her. I swear if she as so much feels uncomfortable I will leave and this deal will be off, got it?"

"Yes. God, thank you."

I called Elliot and Louis over and my mood changed as soon as I saw her bright smile.

"Mommy, look what Uncle Lou got me! It's a pwetty boat and we even put it in da water!"

"Oh honey that sounds like so much fun, it isn't as pretty as you though. Now I have someone I want you to meet. He is a friend of Uncle Lou's and Aunt El's okay? Be nice and remember your manners."

"Yes mommy I will."

"Okay..uhm Ellie this is Harry. Harry, well this is Elliot Paige." Never in my wildest dreams would I imagine my daughter and her father meeting like this and it broke my heart. I hated this, every bit of it, but I had to keep telling myself it was better for Elliot. This was going to be better for her.

"Well Elliot you are quite a beautiful girl. How old are you?" Harry asked in his closest thing to a baby voice he could conjure up.

Elliot held up three fingers and had a shy smile on. She was never really shy with people, so I wondered why she was acting this way. Maybe she could feel the tension or overheard some of the conversation, but then again she really is to young to figure it out.

"Uhm..mister Harry. Can I tell you a secwet?" She leaned up into him as he crouched down to her height.

"Of course sweet girl, I pinky promise I won't tell."

That made her smile. "Well..I think my mommy has pictures of you in her bedroom under her bed. I found them there once when I was playing hide n seek. There is even a picture of you with a picture of me next to it but don't tell mommy that I found out."

My jaw hit the floor. I turned around in embarrassment. I just couldn't handle seeing his reaction to something like that. I don't even want to know what he is thinking. I saved those pictures because I was never ready to kick him out of my life for good. No matter what he had done, he was a part of the most precious thing in my life and one day when she was older I would tell her about him. I wanted to be able to show her how alike they are and how even though he left he was a good man. His next words made me shiver.

"Well Elliot, I won't tell your secret if you don't tell mine. See, I have pictures of your mummy in my house too. Some are under my bed, in my closet, or even hanging up on the wall. But don't tell, okay?"

Elliot looked delighted about the idea of being told a secret, even if he said it loud enough for us all to here. I figured this was enough and time to call this meeting to a close.

"Alright Elliot mommy has to get back to work, so say by to Harry and give your toy to Uncle Lou to hold."

"Bye Harry, will I see you again? I have lots of toys that I can show you."

"Yeah baby, you can see me again. I'll call your mummy to see when we can play together."

"Yay okay thank you mister Harry, bye bye!" And with that she skipped over to Lou and took his hand. I turned around to Harry with a sad smile.

"I'll just uhm, call you or something. We will set something up for next week, okay?"

"Yeah Emily, thank you. Really thank you. I know you hate me, but this means a lot and I owe you."

I didn't say anything else, just nodded and went to pick up my baby girl. It seems that just a week ago I had everything under control, but now I have on idea what is going to happen.

Notes

Hello guys,

I hope you enjoyed this update! I will either be updating tonight or tomorrow, depending on my school schedule.

I have made a twitter @sjbudowski so you all can follow me for updates!

If you have any suggestions or comments I would really appreciate it. Do you all want Hemily to get back together?

Thanks for the love and support!

Xxx.