Gone

I wiggled further underneath the doona and stuffed my hand underneath the pillow, trying to get comfortable. I couldn't stop replaying tonight in my mind. Had I done the right thing by telling him? If I'd kept it from him and he'd found out another way that would be worse, wouldn't it?

At least I wouldn't have to sleep with Josh to get him to keep quiet, right? I was trying to look on the bright side of things to try to make myself feel better about the situation, but for some reason it only made me feel worse, guiltier even, if that was possible.

I wanted to call him, tell him how sorry I was. I knew there was no point. It would be a waste of my time. I was almost sure he wouldn't answer. Why would he? What reason would he have for picking up the phone to talk to his girlfriend who he had basically broken up with? If he did, who's to say he'd even listen to me?

To be honest, I was kind of confused about how tonight had ended. It was like he'd broken it off with me but it wasn't official. After letting him in on the feelings I had kept bottled up, it seemed pretty unlikely that we were still together. All I could do was hope.

I couldn't bear the thought of losing him. He was my first real boyfriend; my first real relationship; my first real love. No, Josh didn't count, I decided. Sure, I'd loved him once but I blamed him for everything that had happened, all the shit that had gone down. If it wasn't for him I'd never had to tell Niall the truth; if it wasn't for him I'd be in Niall's arms right now instead of moping on my bed by myself.

I couldn't sleep. It took me ages before I could shut my eyes without seeing his face. As my body relaxed, I soon forgot about it and fell into a deep slumber to be woken up by someone shaking me. I flailed my arms around the place as I let out a loud high pitched scream for a split second. I couldn't believe that that had just come out of my mouth. I pretty much never screamed.

I sat up and rubbed my eyes until the blurry figures in front of me became people. It was my parents. They were standing side by side with grim expressions on their faces.
"Honey," Dad whispered, placing a hand on my shoulder and rubbing it softly, "we just recieved some horrible news,"

Notes

DOnE!