I can't love you can I ?

I was driving my car, yes I have a car. When the song " she will be loved " came in and then my phone rang. So I had to turn down my music and anwser the stupid phone. " conversation "
Me: hello
Taylor : hey do you want to come over ?
Me: yeah sure be there in about an hour
Taylor : okay bye babe
then I hung up the phone and turned my music up a little loud. Who cares it's my music. I'm going to the mall. To buy new clothes for my birthday in two days. Yeah I know I'm wired but u don't give a fuck. I get to the mall and walk straight towards hot topic. Omg I'm in love with hot topic like you have no clue. I walk in and see Zayn and Louis but I pretend not to see them and walk around. I see a shirt that says " fuck you " it's a crop top to and I grab it then I see galaxy short shorts and I grab them. I see bracelets and I walk over to them. Omg they have one republic I grab as many as I want and walk over to the cash register . It's comes out to be $ 25.34 . I pay with my dad's credit card and walk out and go to Starbucks. I love the white chocolate. I walk in and see Taylor with JAMIE JAMES, no no no this can't happen he knows why I don't like her. I tell you when we were in third grade I was dating this kid named Cameron and I really liked him then Jamie came to the school and kissed him in front of me and ever since then she has been known as the schools whore and now she is with Taylor and holding his hand. I turn around and bump into Zayn. Great just what I need I think to my self ( hint the sarcasm ) " well, look what we have here Jamie,Taylor and oh miss.Dahlia " he smirked as he need his sentence. I wish I didn't have a smart mouth because the next thing that came out of my I didn't mean " at least I'm smart enough to know when my boyfriend is cheating unlike you " I instantly retreated it. He slapped me in front of everyone and walked out. Taylor and Jamie were making out and to busy to see what just happened. Great now I will be forever alone. Until ten minutes because then I can break up with Taylor at his house. I text him
conversation
Me: hey Bae I'll over on fifteen
Taylor : okay babe see you soon love you
Me: love you to boo
I give him an extra five minutes to get ready. I go to my car and put so foundation on and grab my razor and cut right then and there
one for not seeing him cheating sooner
two for being alive
three for being a bitch
four just for the fun if it
i stopped after four because Louis was walking over to my car god no no please no . He knocked on my window I rolled down my window and looked at him and said " y-y-yes ?" He looked all in my car and I held tight on to my razor in my right hand it hurt like a mother fucker. " I just wanted to say what you did to Zayn, you will pay for it bitch. " he held out his hand for me to shake. I dropped the razor and lifted my hand up and it was covered in blood. He looked at my hand and said " what the hell happened to you fucking hand !!!!!!!" I looked at him confused like I didn't know what he was talking about. The. I slowly looked at my hand and said " oh I just cut it while I was cooking last night and I fell and a scab cut back up no biggie " as causally as I could I hoped it work. I looked at the clock I really need to be going I waved bye to Louis as he walked away.

Notes

A/N if you need to talk about self harm I'm here just kik me and I'll listen to you

kik: roseboo143

self harm arm is a big issue and I won't judge you because I've done it before to.