Crystal Crown

"C-crystal?" Page pokes my arm, furrowing her eyebrows as I take another swing of alcohol. It burns my throat but I like it.
"Page," I croak, and wipe my mouth with my arm. She purses her lips worriedly.

"What did you do?"
"I friendzoned a pop star. In the hospital. You?" I slap some money onto the counter and burrow deeper into the jacket. "Oh, my god, was it the one who came to 'flirt with us?'"
"Stop reminding me." I take a deep breath and scan the area. Right when I left the hospital I was crying into Page's arms. She called a cab and we went to her flat, which she's agreed to let me stay in until I'm sane enough because lord knows I'm not.

"They're back, Page."
"I know, Crystal. I can grab you a flight to New York if you want." I wipe my nose with my sleeve and whimper a strangled, "Yes."
If Page wasn't here I wouldn't be here. I take another swing and my throat is on fire. I have to stop, I know that. The flashing lights, the alcohol, the guilt that I almost killed the only person who cares about me, actually likes me (Other than Page), is getting to my head.
Page opens her pink-lipped mouth as if to start talking but I cut her off.

"It is my fault. If only I left he wouldn't have been shot, it's all my doing. If only I had fucking left, now they must all hate me-"
"No they don't," Page whispers and hugs me sideways. I lean my head onto her shoulder and we stay like that, in the almost-empty pub with stupid songs blasting out of the speakers. With a bottle in my left hand, wrapped in an old trench coat. I hate my life and I mean this seriously. If I had a different family I'd be in college like I'd always wanted, having a loving brother who gave me piggy-back rides, a mother who i could spill secrets to, and a father who would only beat the shit out of people who'd lied to me. And now there's someone else I have added to my fantasy- a boyfriend who looks like Louis, but I know we can never be together.
For one he probably regrets meeting and helping me. He might be dying right now and it's my fault. Shit, shit, shit. What the hell is wrong with me? What did I do to deserve this?

"Oh, yeah, I have a little sister, she's in the other room. Free handjobs all the time - we could go fuck her, if you'd like."
I clutch Page tighter. Why is Niagra Falls on my dace?

"I have a son, he's the best in the entire world, so cute, so amazing."
Either they ignore, forget, or use me. Why, why, why?

"Lindsey, Brad, didn't you have a daughter?"
"No, why?"

I let out a wet, slobbery sob on Page's shoulder. After a moment I try to pull myself together, wiping my face on the overlarge sleeve. I hate them, they're going to burn in Hell and I'm going to-

"Why don't I take you back to my flat, yeah?" Page rubs my back and helps me up. I wobble on the black high heels I borrowed. They're way too big, but they were literally the only thing close to my size.
"I hate my life."
"I hate it, too, and I hate your parents. I would shoot them in the heart, believe me," Page promises, and I try to clear my head. We go inside a cab, Page making small talk to get the driver's attention away from my tear-streaked face. Where would I be without her?
We finally reach home, me stumbling out, and I see 4 familiar faces in front of the complex.
"I can't," I whimper brokenly, some words coming out into a whisper, others my crying voice.
"Should I-" Page starts, but Harry spots me and they all run over.

"Crystal," Zayn says breathlessly, eyebrows furrowed. Is he mad? Oh, god, of course they are, my parents shot their best mate. My face is wiped clear of color and they notice.
"Oh, god, Crystal. We're not- we're not mad at you," Liam hiccups. My mouth is dry and my head is spinning.
"W-why?" I reply disbelievingly. "It wasn't your fault."

"You don't get it," I meet each one of their eyes. How bloodshot are mine?
"He - Louis - he isn't mad at you," Harry blinks twice, very fast, and he gulps. "He doesn't regret it, at all, we saw him at the hospital an hour ago, and before you came, too. He wants to keep you safe."
"Please," I clear my throat. My voice is husky.
"Don't you get, it, Crystal?" Page grabs my arm and I face her - I'd forgotten she's here. I meet her brown eyes.
"He loves you."

What the fuck?
Louis Tomlinson does not love me. That's actually unthinkable. I press my lips together.
"When we came," Niall starts, meeting my eyes. "The first thing he asked was if you were okay. I don't know what kind of spell you've put on him but he really does love you."
"If I didn't-"

"Please, please stop blaming yourself," Page begs as the wind whips her hair. I clench my teeth together. I look at the boys.
"I guess this is goodbye, then." I say hollowly.
"No it's not," Zayn replies with a steady look. "Stage one was the texts, actually. Stage two: You were screaming in your sleep. "They didn't do anything, don't hurt them." "Hurt me instead." "No, no, no." You screamed until you couldn't anymore - ever notice why your voice is so raw in the morning? Stage three: We actually saw the bastards, we heard your brother, we saw them shoot Louis. You might want us away but you're not shaking us off."
"Did Louis make you?"
"He made us promise we'd protect you. We want to, anyway," Liam replies, his voice almost lost in the wind. My head is clear now. I'm processing everything.
I wipe my curls out of my red eyes. "So, now.. so now what?"
"She's staying with me for a while." Page replies and wraps her arm around my shoulder, warming me a bit. I manage a weak smile as Niall meets her eyes, raising his eyebrows as Page blushes.
"Okay. But seriously, Crystal. Ring us up, for.. for anything."

Notes

How are the boys such sweeties ugh help
SURPRISE, I'M ALIVE, STILL HERE, I'M SORRY, ETC.
Are you fabulous people still reading this story? I hope so, I love you guyss c:


So, I decided I'm going to try and write longer and better chapters this time since they're pretty shitty.
xx
- Cami (I lost the underlining. WHYYY)