Mistakes Held Against Us

The one girl you see at school who's always trying to make sure her friends are happy and has an answer for just about anything and is there when you need her.

Is the same girl who gets beat at home, who hides her tears with a big, fake smile, who hides her cuts with her jacket.

Most importantly... That girl is me.
I usually have an answer because I've been through it before. It's hard and I've felt like giving up, but I don't because I know there's people that need me and some that may care about me.

Second most importantly suicide doesn't help.
As a really intelligent friend once told me:
"Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem"

I will always remember that til the day I die....

That's my story... The end is coming closer.

But the thing is.... I'm not ready to let that happen.

My name is Lila May Tomlinson. I'm 16 years of age and for a girl my age I should've never seen most of the things I do. Life isn't easy but it's a whole lot better than what most have.

I spend my days in my room locked away from the world.
I'm always hiding.
Scared of my appearance.
Afraid to look people in the eye.
I'm the girl who's never forgotten a single move but I let every single motion pass by and I never hold it against the person who has done me wrong.

I was the one to always fight for my life when things got a little rough along the long, narrow road we all travel on. There are some in life who make it their own and others who control over our free spirits. Either way we are all the same but that's the one thing that many don't know how to believe in.
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I raised my head in a daze as my eyes fluttered closed exhaling the smoke that I loved so dearly. I opened my eyes after and watched as the thick haze slowly scattered throughout the room. I smiled in satisfaction as I put out what was left of my cigarette and stood up to walk to the door.

The things I do in my life are wrong I just choose to ignore that slight itch at the back of my neck and I continue on with my life.

I grabbed a hold of the door handle and walked out shutting the door behind me a little too hard but I don't think anyone is home to have heard it.
I slowly made my way down the hallway as I heard slight laughter. I recognized it instantly.
Louis.
My idiot brother but I loved him. Sometimes I feel as I had no choice but I know I love him because not only having this feeling to but on my own free will.

I walked by the kitchen door and made my way slowly in through and watched as they looked up at me as my boots clicked along on the floor.

I should've known it would be those five idiots.

First: Irish idiot who eats all of our food.... Niall Horan.
Second: British idiot that flirts way too much. Harry Styles.
Third: The daddy of the group but somehow still a dufus like them also British.... Liam Payne.
Fourth: The artists and my best friend of the group also British.... Zayn Malik.
Last but not least: My idiot brother.... Louis Tomlinson.

We are mostly British we were lucky we found the always hungry hippo standing across the counter with his nose in the fridge, I love him though. I have noticed he's the only one that didn't look up at me.

Pig.

Notes

okay so im new to this please tell me how it is vote comment rate and scribe if you want...

BeeBoo love you all haha