Zayn’s POV

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Taylor asked roughly, looking across the table at Carly and Harry.

“I thought Harry and I could deal with it but we cant, Susana’s trying to run the funeral.” Her words were shaky but powerful, they changed his facial expression completely.

I knew that she was fighting back tears when her head lowered and Taylor shook his head, looking away from her with anger. Harry looked at me with a questioning look and then looked down at Carly and back at me. With a quick nod of approval he wrapped his arm around her and comforted her like I couldn’t at the moment.

“Well, let’s fix this then.” Taylor looked down at her with a softer look in his eyes.


Sage’s POV

“Everyone cool with pizza for dinner?” Taylor asked after hours of planning for the funeral.

“Yea, I’ll drive!” Niall cheered grabbing the keys off the counter.

“Not happening, I’m driving since I’m paying.” Taylor laughed standing up from the table.

“Fine.” Niall frowned.

“Who’s going with me?” Taylor asked looking around and getting nods from all the guys Niall, Louis and Liam. “Alright then lets go.”

“Do you mind me staying?” Harry asked quietly.

“Of course not.” I slid off my chair and followed the rest of the guys to the door.

“Bye.” Liam smiled as he stepped outside with his big coat covering his pajamas.

“You want me to take one of them?” Taylor asked once we were alone.

“No, it’s okay.” I mumbled grabbing the doorframe.

“You sure?” He asked stepping toward me.

“Actually, can you just send them? I really need a break.” I admitted.

“Sure.” He chuckled walking into the kitchen.

A few minutes later he returned with Zayn and Harry. I handed them some money, kissed Zayn’s cheek and shut the door behind them.

“You okay sissy?” Taylor asked as we sat on the couch.

“I just need some time away from them before tomorrow. I mean, I love ‘em but ugh! Too much time with them recently.” I rolled my eyes.

“I totally get it, after the time here I’m going to need a break from all of them too.” His laugh faded into a deep sigh. “Can I be honest with you about everything for a minute?”

“Yea, of course.” I looked into his deep blue eyes seeing them fill with tears.

“I’m not ready to do this, I don’t want to have a funeral for mom just yet. I’m not ready to be alone with nobody to look up to.” Tears ran down his cheeks with every word. “I may not be a kid anymore but I will always need someone.”

“None of us want to do this, I’m not ready for it either. And, Tay, you’ll never be alone. You will always have me.” I reached over and touched his cheek.

“I know and I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. I love you.” He mumbled looking at me with a smile.

“I love you too.” I whispered back.

“I was wrong, I do have someone to look up to.” He paused, blinking a few times. “You. I’ve always looked up at you.”

“You have?” I almost laughed.

“Yea. You’ve always been the gutsy one; the one who could do anything without anyone caring. I’ve always admired that about you.” He smiled through his words.

“Wow, that means a lot to me. I’ve never thought of myself as ‘gutsy’; I’ve always thought I was naiive or immature.” I shrugged looking away.

“Never, I mean yea, you’re stupid and annoying sometimes but overall, you’re pretty mature.” He laughed.

“Shut up.” I laughed pushing his arm.

“I’m just kidding, but you know what I mean. You are immature and annoying but not naïve, you never have been.” His laughter faded into a sigh. “Well, maybe in ways that I’d never want to think about.”

“We aren’t having this conversation.” I blushed thinking about how awkward things could get.

“Can I ask you something?” I nodded slowly. “Have you and Harry had sex? I mean, I know you and Zay-“

“Whoa, this conversation took a weird turn.” I shook my head.

“Have you?” He persisted.

“Yea…” I mumbled getting a freaked out look from him. “Sorry, you asked.”

“When?” I didn’t know why he cared.

“The first time was a few months ago and then again after mom passed away.” I wasn’t sure why I was being so honest but it felt nice to talk to someone about stuff even if it was my brother. “I know you didn’t want to know that, sorry.”

“No, it’s okay. I definitely shouldn’t have asked because it isn't my business but thanks for being honest.” He stood up and reached down to help me up.

“You’re welcome.” I smiled standing up and hearing the boys pull up out front. “I love you bubba.”

“I love you too.” He pulled me into a hug right before the door opened.

“Oh, sorry. Shh, just back out slowly.” Louis whispered to the guys closing the door slowly.

“No, guys it’s fine.” Taylor laughed letting go of me.

Notes

The next few chapters are kind of intense, I hope you're reado for it!