Use Somebody
My Winter Song
Demi's POV:
It was the middle of Tuesday night, and everyone was fast asleep. I couldn't fall into my personal dreamland, so I untangled myself from Niall's grip and I went into the kitchen to make myself some tea. I was startled by a small light over at the window. I went over to see Cassie, wearing only a big sweater, seated against the window, laptop in her lap. She looked up at me and I could see the faint traces of tears down her cheeks and a lot of hurt behind her eyes. I rushed to her and embraced her in a tight hug. I knew what she was doing. She was writing one of her short stories. They always made her cry. Once, she had confessed it was sort of therapy for her. After a few minutes, we let go of each other and she smiled at me thankfully.
“Thanks, Demi. It's one of those nights again,” she whispered. I nodded understandingly.
“What did you write about?” I asked. She stared into the darkness for a moment before answering me.
“Joe and me. Why we broke up,” she whispered.
“Do you want to talk about it?” I asked, sitting down next to her. She looked at me, and I saw the hurt behind her eyes. I always knew something big had happened, but she didn't open up to me until now.
“I had a miscarriage,” she whispered and I felt my little world being turned upside down.
“Oh, Cassie...” I whispered and grabbed her tiny frame for another hug. She was abnormally stiff. I pulled away and saw her smile a little.
“It's okay. It will never be good, but it's fine for now. I'm starting to deal with it,” she said with a stronger voice. “I... I thought he was the one, and we were so happy. It was an accident, but then again... nothing kept us from having a baby. We were about to announce it when I lost it in the 11th week. The doctors said it wasn't anyone's fault, and that I was probably gonna have no problems getting pregnant again, but our relationship was never the same...” she stopped there for a brief moment “Today would have been the due date...” she choked and a single tear rolled down her cheek. I pulled her in again.
“I'm so sorry, Cassie. I had no idea... and I pushed you to get out there again! God, I'm such an idiot,” I said, feeling like crap. She stroked my arm encouragingly.
“Don't say that, Demi. I was ready to have a life again. And you are a great friend,” she said and I felt lighter. We hugged and stayed like that for a few minutes. Then I had an idea.
“Come on,” I said while getting up. I reached my hand out to hers and she got up.
“What are we doing?” she asked while I went over to the huge piano in my living room.
“You know what, Cassie. It's time,” I said mysteriously. Her face lightened up when she realised what I had planned.
“I don't know, Demi. It's been a long time..” she said, shifting around uncomfortably.
“You have a beautiful voice, and I wanna sing with you right now,” I said while letting my fingers fly across the piano. Soft music filled the room which was still almost completely dark. I turned on the lamp over the keys and looked at her while she came to stood next to me. “The usual?” I asked and she gave me a sad smile. It was our song, the one which built our friendship, and it meant so much to the both of us. I started playing the first chords and looked up to her when we both started singing.
Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum
bum bum bum bum bum bum
bum bum bum bum bum bum
I stopped and she took a deep breath to continue on.
This my winter song to you,
the storm is coming soon,
it rolls in from the sea
My voice a beacon in the night
my words will be your light
to carry you to me.
I joined her again.
Is love alive?
Is love alive?
Is love
We smiled at each other and now it was my turn.
They say that things just cannot grow
beneath the winter snow
or so I have been told
They say we're buried far
just like a distant star
I simply cannot hold
We both sang the chorus again.
Is love alive?
Is love alive?
Is love alive?
I closed my eyes and prepared for my part.
This is my winter song
December never felt so wrong
cause you're not where you belong
I left my voice wanting and she joined me again, our voices sounding so vulnerable, it almost made my heart break.
Inside my arms.
Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum
bum bum bum bum bum bum
bum bum bum bum bum bum
I still believe in summer days
the seasons always change
and life will find a way.
A single tear run down Cassie's face while she was slightly smiling. This part of the song always got to us.
I'll be your harvester of light
and send it out tonight
so we can start again.
Is love alive?
Is love alive?
Is love alive?
Now it was her turn.
This is my winter song
December never felt so wrong
cause you're not where you belong...
I chimed in again
inside my arms.
This my winter song to you,
the storm is coming soon,
it rolls in from the sea
My love a beacon in the night
my words will be your light
to carry you to me.
Is love alive?
Is love alive?
Is love alive?
Is love alive?
Is love alive?
Is love alive?
Is love alive?
We both sang until our voices died down slowly. Then we looked at each other intensely before we sang our final line.
Our love's alive.
I got up and we hugged it each other tightly, both crying a bit.
“I love you, Cassie,” I whispered softly against her shoulder.
“Love you right back, Demi,” she returned and hugged me tighter.
Suddenly, we heard footsteps and saw Niall and Harry coming towards us out of the shadows. They had obviously listened. I thought I saw something glisten on Harry's cheek before I was wrapped in a bone-crushing embrace from Niall. I looked over his shoulder to see Cassie tightly wrapped in Harry's arms. I knew they had gotten close over the last few days, but they hugged in such a natural way that I wondered whether it was the first time they shared something so intimate. I saw him whisper something in her ear and give her a soft kiss on the cheek.
“That was the most beautiful thing I ever heard,” Niall said and I pulled away a bit to look at him. I smiled shyly.
“Thank you,” I simply said. “It helped me through rehab. She helped me through rehab,” I said and nodded my head towards her. He stroked over my cheek and then kissed me softly.
“I'm here for you, too, now. You know that, right?” he asked when we broke apart. I nodded.
“This wasn't for me, it was for her,” I filled him in. He raised an eyebrow questionably but I just shook my head. Grabbing his hand, I led him out of the room. “Night,” I mumbled towards Cassie, who was still in Harry's arms. She smiled and mouthed “Thank you.”
Harry's POV:
I woke up in Cassie's bed alone in the middle of the night. We had quite obviously fallen asleep after our little fight. I was on my way to the kitchen to look for her when I heard the girls talk. I peeked around a corner to see them going towards the piano. Careful not to be noticed, I stepped closer, almost bumping into Niall, who was leaning against the couch. He put a finger on his lips and motioned for me to sit down as well. I did and the first tones of the piano filled the room. I watched in awe as the girls began to sing. When it was Cassie's first solo, goosebumps appeared all over my body. She didn't have a strong or trained voice, but it was light, vulnerable and just beautiful. They continued on and I could tell how much the song meant to them both. I remembered hearing it a long time ago and I liked it a lot back then.
When they got to the part “I still believe in summer days”, I just couldn't hold it back anymore and felt tears running down my face. Although I couldn't see her face, I heard in Cassie's voice the feelings she must have shown on it, and it broke my heart just to hear her like that. I didn't want her to get hurt in any way.
When they had finished, Niall pulled me up and I quickly wiped my tears away before stepping out of the shadows. I pulled Cassie in, hungry for the touch of her body on my naked chest like a flower for the sun. She fit perfectly against me, and I felt every inch of my body tingle with happiness at our touch. Pulling me tighter, she sighed softly against my bare shoulder.
“I'll always be there for you,” I whispered in her ear and gave her a soft kiss on her cheek. I wanted to kiss the world out of her, finally feel her lips on mine and put my hands all over her body, but that night, I saw that she was hurt, and I knew that she needed a friend. I wanted to be that friend.
Our embrace lasted a very long time, and I didn't even notice Demi and Niall leaving. When we broke apart, I didn't let go of her hands, and she looked up at me with her sad eyes.
“Let's get back into bed” I said and gave her a kiss on her temple. She let go of my hands to get her laptop, which I hadn't noticed before, and it felt like the life was being sucked right out of me. I almost wanted to grab for her again. But then, she was just fetching something. We went down the hall to her room together and she closed the door behind us and crawled into bed with me. I cuddled her close against my chest, and her cool breath felt good on my skin.
“I'm broken, Harry,” she suddenly said. I traced circles on her arm with my finger and tried to breathe easily.
“You're not broken, love,” I answered.
“I am. I lost a baby, you know that?” she said with a monotonous voice and my heart almost stopped. I pulled away a bit to look into her eyes.
“Cassie... I'm so sorry,” I started, but she shook her head.
“Don't be, it's not your fault. I just don't know if I'll ever be the same again,” her voice cracked a bit. I wanted to ask her so many questions, like when did that happen? Who was the father? How far along were you? But I knew I needed to shut it for now.
“We are hardly ever the same people we were the day before,” I started. “We change every day, and it's what defines us, Cassie. This is a part of you now, and I can't even imagine how hard it must be, but one day, you will accept to live with it,” I said softly. We were silent for almost a minute before she talked again.
“You're right, Harry. Thank you,” she finally said and pulled up to give me sweet kiss on the cheek. It lasted a bit longer than a normal peck would, but I knew it was not the time to interpret anything into it. “I'm glad I met you,” she whispered while snuggling closer against me.
“I'm thankful for it every day,” I told her truthfully and kissed her hair. She sighed softly and minutes later, our breathing had become even and we were both fast asleep, her fingers entangled in mine.
It was the middle of Tuesday night, and everyone was fast asleep. I couldn't fall into my personal dreamland, so I untangled myself from Niall's grip and I went into the kitchen to make myself some tea. I was startled by a small light over at the window. I went over to see Cassie, wearing only a big sweater, seated against the window, laptop in her lap. She looked up at me and I could see the faint traces of tears down her cheeks and a lot of hurt behind her eyes. I rushed to her and embraced her in a tight hug. I knew what she was doing. She was writing one of her short stories. They always made her cry. Once, she had confessed it was sort of therapy for her. After a few minutes, we let go of each other and she smiled at me thankfully.
“Thanks, Demi. It's one of those nights again,” she whispered. I nodded understandingly.
“What did you write about?” I asked. She stared into the darkness for a moment before answering me.
“Joe and me. Why we broke up,” she whispered.
“Do you want to talk about it?” I asked, sitting down next to her. She looked at me, and I saw the hurt behind her eyes. I always knew something big had happened, but she didn't open up to me until now.
“I had a miscarriage,” she whispered and I felt my little world being turned upside down.
“Oh, Cassie...” I whispered and grabbed her tiny frame for another hug. She was abnormally stiff. I pulled away and saw her smile a little.
“It's okay. It will never be good, but it's fine for now. I'm starting to deal with it,” she said with a stronger voice. “I... I thought he was the one, and we were so happy. It was an accident, but then again... nothing kept us from having a baby. We were about to announce it when I lost it in the 11th week. The doctors said it wasn't anyone's fault, and that I was probably gonna have no problems getting pregnant again, but our relationship was never the same...” she stopped there for a brief moment “Today would have been the due date...” she choked and a single tear rolled down her cheek. I pulled her in again.
“I'm so sorry, Cassie. I had no idea... and I pushed you to get out there again! God, I'm such an idiot,” I said, feeling like crap. She stroked my arm encouragingly.
“Don't say that, Demi. I was ready to have a life again. And you are a great friend,” she said and I felt lighter. We hugged and stayed like that for a few minutes. Then I had an idea.
“Come on,” I said while getting up. I reached my hand out to hers and she got up.
“What are we doing?” she asked while I went over to the huge piano in my living room.
“You know what, Cassie. It's time,” I said mysteriously. Her face lightened up when she realised what I had planned.
“I don't know, Demi. It's been a long time..” she said, shifting around uncomfortably.
“You have a beautiful voice, and I wanna sing with you right now,” I said while letting my fingers fly across the piano. Soft music filled the room which was still almost completely dark. I turned on the lamp over the keys and looked at her while she came to stood next to me. “The usual?” I asked and she gave me a sad smile. It was our song, the one which built our friendship, and it meant so much to the both of us. I started playing the first chords and looked up to her when we both started singing.
Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum
bum bum bum bum bum bum
bum bum bum bum bum bum
I stopped and she took a deep breath to continue on.
This my winter song to you,
the storm is coming soon,
it rolls in from the sea
My voice a beacon in the night
my words will be your light
to carry you to me.
I joined her again.
Is love alive?
Is love alive?
Is love
We smiled at each other and now it was my turn.
They say that things just cannot grow
beneath the winter snow
or so I have been told
They say we're buried far
just like a distant star
I simply cannot hold
We both sang the chorus again.
Is love alive?
Is love alive?
Is love alive?
I closed my eyes and prepared for my part.
This is my winter song
December never felt so wrong
cause you're not where you belong
I left my voice wanting and she joined me again, our voices sounding so vulnerable, it almost made my heart break.
Inside my arms.
Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum
bum bum bum bum bum bum
bum bum bum bum bum bum
I still believe in summer days
the seasons always change
and life will find a way.
A single tear run down Cassie's face while she was slightly smiling. This part of the song always got to us.
I'll be your harvester of light
and send it out tonight
so we can start again.
Is love alive?
Is love alive?
Is love alive?
Now it was her turn.
This is my winter song
December never felt so wrong
cause you're not where you belong...
I chimed in again
inside my arms.
This my winter song to you,
the storm is coming soon,
it rolls in from the sea
My love a beacon in the night
my words will be your light
to carry you to me.
Is love alive?
Is love alive?
Is love alive?
Is love alive?
Is love alive?
Is love alive?
Is love alive?
We both sang until our voices died down slowly. Then we looked at each other intensely before we sang our final line.
Our love's alive.
I got up and we hugged it each other tightly, both crying a bit.
“I love you, Cassie,” I whispered softly against her shoulder.
“Love you right back, Demi,” she returned and hugged me tighter.
Suddenly, we heard footsteps and saw Niall and Harry coming towards us out of the shadows. They had obviously listened. I thought I saw something glisten on Harry's cheek before I was wrapped in a bone-crushing embrace from Niall. I looked over his shoulder to see Cassie tightly wrapped in Harry's arms. I knew they had gotten close over the last few days, but they hugged in such a natural way that I wondered whether it was the first time they shared something so intimate. I saw him whisper something in her ear and give her a soft kiss on the cheek.
“That was the most beautiful thing I ever heard,” Niall said and I pulled away a bit to look at him. I smiled shyly.
“Thank you,” I simply said. “It helped me through rehab. She helped me through rehab,” I said and nodded my head towards her. He stroked over my cheek and then kissed me softly.
“I'm here for you, too, now. You know that, right?” he asked when we broke apart. I nodded.
“This wasn't for me, it was for her,” I filled him in. He raised an eyebrow questionably but I just shook my head. Grabbing his hand, I led him out of the room. “Night,” I mumbled towards Cassie, who was still in Harry's arms. She smiled and mouthed “Thank you.”
Harry's POV:
I woke up in Cassie's bed alone in the middle of the night. We had quite obviously fallen asleep after our little fight. I was on my way to the kitchen to look for her when I heard the girls talk. I peeked around a corner to see them going towards the piano. Careful not to be noticed, I stepped closer, almost bumping into Niall, who was leaning against the couch. He put a finger on his lips and motioned for me to sit down as well. I did and the first tones of the piano filled the room. I watched in awe as the girls began to sing. When it was Cassie's first solo, goosebumps appeared all over my body. She didn't have a strong or trained voice, but it was light, vulnerable and just beautiful. They continued on and I could tell how much the song meant to them both. I remembered hearing it a long time ago and I liked it a lot back then.
When they got to the part “I still believe in summer days”, I just couldn't hold it back anymore and felt tears running down my face. Although I couldn't see her face, I heard in Cassie's voice the feelings she must have shown on it, and it broke my heart just to hear her like that. I didn't want her to get hurt in any way.
When they had finished, Niall pulled me up and I quickly wiped my tears away before stepping out of the shadows. I pulled Cassie in, hungry for the touch of her body on my naked chest like a flower for the sun. She fit perfectly against me, and I felt every inch of my body tingle with happiness at our touch. Pulling me tighter, she sighed softly against my bare shoulder.
“I'll always be there for you,” I whispered in her ear and gave her a soft kiss on her cheek. I wanted to kiss the world out of her, finally feel her lips on mine and put my hands all over her body, but that night, I saw that she was hurt, and I knew that she needed a friend. I wanted to be that friend.
Our embrace lasted a very long time, and I didn't even notice Demi and Niall leaving. When we broke apart, I didn't let go of her hands, and she looked up at me with her sad eyes.
“Let's get back into bed” I said and gave her a kiss on her temple. She let go of my hands to get her laptop, which I hadn't noticed before, and it felt like the life was being sucked right out of me. I almost wanted to grab for her again. But then, she was just fetching something. We went down the hall to her room together and she closed the door behind us and crawled into bed with me. I cuddled her close against my chest, and her cool breath felt good on my skin.
“I'm broken, Harry,” she suddenly said. I traced circles on her arm with my finger and tried to breathe easily.
“You're not broken, love,” I answered.
“I am. I lost a baby, you know that?” she said with a monotonous voice and my heart almost stopped. I pulled away a bit to look into her eyes.
“Cassie... I'm so sorry,” I started, but she shook her head.
“Don't be, it's not your fault. I just don't know if I'll ever be the same again,” her voice cracked a bit. I wanted to ask her so many questions, like when did that happen? Who was the father? How far along were you? But I knew I needed to shut it for now.
“We are hardly ever the same people we were the day before,” I started. “We change every day, and it's what defines us, Cassie. This is a part of you now, and I can't even imagine how hard it must be, but one day, you will accept to live with it,” I said softly. We were silent for almost a minute before she talked again.
“You're right, Harry. Thank you,” she finally said and pulled up to give me sweet kiss on the cheek. It lasted a bit longer than a normal peck would, but I knew it was not the time to interpret anything into it. “I'm glad I met you,” she whispered while snuggling closer against me.
“I'm thankful for it every day,” I told her truthfully and kissed her hair. She sighed softly and minutes later, our breathing had become even and we were both fast asleep, her fingers entangled in mine.
Notes
as you can tell, this is a very important chapter, sorta takes Harry and Cassie to the next level.thoughts? pleeeeease leave a comment!
9/16/13