Change

My eyes flutter open when I hear someone cursing to the air. Knowing it's Zayn, I decide to make sure he's okay. His room seemed to be the first door in the hallway. I walk closer not knowing what to expect of this, but knowing how selfless I am I knock on his door lightly before walking in.

"Zayn?" I say quietly as I look around the room.

"I'm in the bathroom.." He mutters as I search for him.

"Are you alright?" I ask as I shut his bedroom door.

"Yeah," He says, and I here the toilet flush and the door open. He didn't even wash his hands, which I make a mental note not to touch him.

"I hit my toe on the wall on the way to the bathroom..." His cheeks flush as he explains.

"Oh," I sigh in relief. He walks to the kitchen and fixes himself a bowl of cereal. Something rubs me the wrong way that he didn't offer me any but I chose to ignore it.

"Uh...what time are you leaving?" Zayn asks, scooping a large amount of frosted flakes into his mouth.
"Soon. My parents are probably freaking out already." I sigh.

"I'd hate to be you..." He laughs. I hate to be me. The more I sit in silence the more I realise, how I wish to be as free ranged as Zayn and his friends. Yes, it is my dream to study and become successful, but my parents would make sure there were no distractions. I don't know Zayn's story, but he's attending college and living freely with no parents taunting him, or so it seems that way. Zayn seems like a closed book and I know there's no way I will find out more. It kills me, because I love knowing about people, their stories, their life. It fascinates me, and makes me realise that my life is just...simple and boring.

"Lana...hello...?" Zayn waves in front of my face.

"What are you thinking so deeply about?" He scoffs as I snap my attention to him.

"How incredibly boring my life is." I huff and he smiles.

"It's about damn time you realised that." He laughs and grabs his keys.

"I have always known that." I roll my eyes as we walk out the door. I have to brush my teeth and shower as soon as I get home because I feel utterly gross and my parents will wonder why I look and smell like an alcoholic prostitute. As we get in the car and begin to drive, I catch my self staring at the man behind the wheel and so does he.

"Why are you always staring at me?" He asks in annoyance.

"I find you...fascinating. I know it sounds creepy but for some reason, you occupy my thoughts quite frequently. I have never met someone like you...and a part of me is envious of your life style." I finally confess.

"Lana, you don't know shit about me or my life, and I am damn sure if you did you would never think that." He seems to be upset.

"Oh." I simply answer. What I mean is, that only makes me wonder more about you.

"I would like to see you again..." I smile as we pull in to my drive way.

"All girls do," He smirks. "But it's on a rare occasion that they ever get to." He says, and I walk out of the car without a goodbye or thank you. I am fully aware of it, but I want an excuse to call him later. I shake my head as I walk into my house. Everyone is still in their rooms and I quietly run upstairs and head for the shower. I hear Annabel's door open as I turn on the water, but I continue to pretend I didn't.

These people I have met, have opened my eyes. Many times I have been called "Mrs. Perfect." or the most popular, a "prude." I always took offense to it, and my parent's drilled it into Annabel's and my head that they're jealous of our orderly life style. Naturally, I grew up believing that I was above others, and all of the name calling was true. I am a prude, I am selfless but sometimes selfish, and all I worry about it "What will my parents think of this?". I should be able to think for myself, think about my own actions but I feel like, my parents programmed me to worry about their judgment 24/7. Which leads me to my biggest questions.

Do I really want to live my life in America and make it into Harvard? Or do I want to impress my parents?

Do I really want to study English? Or do it because my mum is an English teacher?

Do I really want to marry and have children with a perfect successful man like my mother, or fall in love with whoever truly clicks with me?

Do I really want to be that perfect woman, raising my children to be just like me? Or do I want them to live their lives like they should, to make their own mistakes without thinking of what I will say or do?

The answer is still unknown to me. I feel as if I will fight with myself about this for the rest of my life.

-

"Lana? Sweet heart are you alright? You've been in the shower for over an hour." My dad's voice startles me as he breaks me out of deep thought.

"Oh my, it's been that long?" I turn off the water.

"I am afraid so. Breakfast is at the table when you're done." He says and I hear his voice fading away. I say a faint okay as I finish drying off and get dressed before running downstairs.

Zayn's POV.

"Sophia, I'd hate to tell you but it went alright." I admit about last night events. Aside from her throwing her guts up, it was nice.

"You enjoyed her presents? Wow, this is a miracle..." Sophia cheers.

"I wouldn't say that exactly." I mutter.

"So what time did you bring her home?" She asks.

"She spent the night because she was tipsy and threw up." Sophia laughs as I say so.

"She drank?" She says after calming down.

"Yeah, she ordered a lot I will admit I was shocked."

"Everything's going better than what I planned!" Sophia says and I almost forgot about this plan...this stupid plan to change Lana. Sophia does this, she fixes people, and is very good at it. I knew about it but never bothered to be involved. She promised me I will have nothing to do with Lana once Lana see's what's wrong in her life, which I already knew but the thought makes me happy.

"How does Liam put up with you?" I roll my eyes.

"I don't know but he's great at helping me. He's good at pointing out girls who need of my assistance. He looked at Lana and said that she's the next one..." Sophia says.

"I could care less." I laugh, but I do care. Sophia is amazing, I can admit that her changing people's ways is incredible. She's tried to do it to me but I knew what she was doing. It does bother me, that even the most succesful person at changing people couldn't change me. Not that I want to be different.


"I know, I know." She sighs and tells me how Liam's calling and she has to go. I don't know what to do now. My life isn't exciting like Lana says, it's boring as all hell. All the parties I go to are the same, the only thing I like is all the different sexual experiences I get out of them. I think I have done every type of girl there is, except the Lana type girls who you're lucky if you see one walking in front of the house. It's always been my goal but I always get rejected by them because they're all god damn virgins and saving it for "the one". There is no one, they're all naive bitches who think they're perfect and for some reason I would love to ruin that for them.

Maybe that's why I agreed to "save" Lana.

Notes