My Kind Of Love

Chapter 42 Rejected & Affected

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0NKUpo_xKyQ

**Bea's POV**

"Bea I'm telling you, you've got quite a grip on that boy. I mean he lent you his god damn combat boots. I don't think even the weakest bad boy would do that!" Casper exclaims as she turns the key inside the lock, revealing our humble apartment. I let out a light laugh as I thought she was only saying these positives things about Harry to get on my good side due to yesterday's scandal. (Just to refresh your memory, when Bea and Casper got into a huge fight and she ended up kicking her out the car)

After Harry dropped me off to the mall; with no pants if I may add, Casper and I hugged it out and the whole time she wouldn't stop talking about how Harry really does care for me. I knew it was her way of apologizing but it bothered me because Harry made it very clear to me, he isn't the relationship type.

What are we even, for gods sake!

Memories of earlier today slowly start to creep into my mind as I think back at the words exchanged between Harry and I in his car.

Flashback

“Ah! Is Ms. Morrison gonna miss me?” He says teasingly while giving me the most adorable pout I have ever seen him do, clearly trying to mock me.

“Stop!” I whine while burying my tomato-red face into my hands. With much ease Harry removes my tense wrists off my face and stares me dead in the eyes. I grew overwhelmed as his intimidating gaze grew stronger on me by the second. He opens his mouth to say something but immediately closes it shut. A small chuckle escapes his lips as if he were laughing to himself about how foolish it was what he wanted to say.

End of flashback

What was he planning on saying, I ask myself. It must've been something important if he had to stop himself from actually saying it.

"Bea you coming inside or are you gonna stand there like a ghost?" Casper exclaims while waving her hand near my face to get me out of my trance. I seriously need to stop zoning out like that.

I quickly shake my head and walk in through the entrance, inhaling the strong smell of lilac scented candles. Two nights not in my bed seem like forever because I spent each one with Harry.
I already miss him.

God Bea get over it, he'll text you soon enough; or maybe he won't? I start to panic mentally at the thought causing my mood to worsen.

"What's wrong Be?" Casper questions while examining the expression on my face.

"What, um... Nothing." I reply a little too fast while giving her a fake smile to seal my lie.

She frowns knowing I'm lying. "Come on, after all those years you don't think I know when something's on your mind." I release a heavy breath before responding glumly. "It's just something that Harry said to me in the car, or I mean wanted to say but didn't."

While opening her mouth to say something, Casper is cut off by her loud ring tone. She quickly looks down at the caller ID before letting out an annoyed sigh. "Sorry it's my mom calling and I really have to take this or I won't hear the end of it. We'll talk about it later, okay?" I quickly nod, somewhat relieved as I walk into my room.

"Mom I already told you I can't make it to uncle Derris birthday, his old bingo friends always hit on me!" I hear Casper yell from kitchen as I let out a big snort of laughter. I always admired the way that family worked as they smothered Casper in love and especially money. Maybe too much love for Casper too handle as she moved here to Chicago to have more personal space which caused tension between her and Ms. Jackson

"It's not my fault I have big boobs! It's their fault for staring." I hear Casper groan at her mom before slamming the phone on our kitchen counter.

Well that must have gone well.

She comes into my room while removing her glasses in frustration that have been covering her eyes all day due to a bad hangover apparently.

"Holy crap! Casper your eye..." I shout while examining a bruise that wasn't there yesterday. She looks at me confused while quickly running to the bathroom.

"Oh my god!" I hear her shriek as I quickly run into the room covered by a light blue title. A black eye must have formed over night because all I remember was the bruise left on her jaw which is now covered by foundation. Her left eye was puffy causing her to squint as a thick purple circle coated the area.

She slowly pokes the tender area before letting out a hiss and removing her finger immediately. "I probably didn't notice this morning from how sick I felt." Casper says glumly before slumping down on the toilet seat and pressing her palms to her forehead.

"Casp it will go away, you don't need to worry." I say while bending down in front of her as she shakes her head. "It's not that Bea that I'm worried about..."

"Is it... Zayn?" I nervously hoping not to trigger something in her and to start a new fight.

She slowly nods her head before sadly saying. "I fucked up, I fucked it all up so horrendously." She takes a long pause as a tear slips down her eye before crying out. "And to make it all worse Niall told Jay that Zayn and that whore used date and that it was something serious... Obviously I was just some rebound which I usually don't care if I am... but I guess you're right and I hate to admit it."

"Right about what?" I ask, genuinely confused.

"That I have feelings for him." She completely break down right in front of me as I wrap my small arms around her body and slowly rock back and forth in a way to give her a sense of comfort.

Slowly I pry Casper's hands off her face. "Casper please stop crying. I know I should've told you this sooner but with everything that happened lately I haven't had the chance. Zayn didn't sleep with her or wasn't planning on it either; he told Harry that and he always tells Harry everything."

"Then why the hell was that pink pubic hair freak there especially after he invited me over!" Casper let's out a frustrated sigh.

"Because she left her ga-" I quickly stop myself as I feel a cold sweat rush over my body. You almost screwed up and told her Bea, you idiot.

Casper looks up at me confused as I quickly clear my throat. "She left the house she was living at because she can't pay rent." A lie was the only way to mask my big mouth for spilling. Slowly she wipes the tears from her puffy face as she gets deep into thought.

"Zayn messed up. Just give it time and he'll come around." I say genuinely believing my own words.
A small chuckle escapes her pink lips. "My face may be busted but it least I'm not the one who's gone broke." Now that's the Casper I know, I smile to myself.

"She's just a stupid little wh-" she quickly cuts herself off looking at my reaction.

I roll my eyes before saying. "Casper I don't care what you say about Roxanne, I met her once. I'll always stand by your side no matter what you do." She slowly nods while picking at her nails glumly.

To quickly take Casper mind off things I grab her hand and drag her back into my serene room. "Let's look at the costumes we got for Fridays Halloween party." I say before grabbing the pink paper bag and pulling out a black lacy corset.

"I can't believe you convinced me to get a maid costume, especially such a revealing one." I exclaim while pulling out matching black stockings.

She giggles before pulling out her tight ballerina costume. "Call me cliché for picking these costumes but trust me once Harry sees you in it, he won't be able to contain the magic in his pants." Casper wiggles her eyebrows before poking my in the ribs as I role my eyes from her comment.

"Don't act Ms. Innocent with me, because how many times did you see that boys junk?" My eyes nearly pop out of my head before remembering earlier that I told her minor details about Harry and I.

"Only twice! Now hurry and try your costume, we have courses starting soon." I exclaim as my cheeks turns a deep shade of red before I throw her costume at her.

She giggles before saying. "So is it really as big as they say?"

"Casper!" I shout while throwing a pillow at her as she dodges my throw.
Soon the dry tears and puffy eyes turn into giggles and squeals as we completely forget about the boys that play with our hearts.

**Roxy's POV**

The car rolls to a stop as I suddenly look at up at the modern glass apartment building that might as well been owned by Satan himself. Big figures lived here who definitely had big wallets but didn't have the biggest of hearts and Harry fit right in.

You could definitely say nervous was an understatement but don't get me wrong it wasn't Harry that I was anxious for; he was an angelic figure compared to Jason. I was more worried about the fact that Harry's stubbornness would win over and he would kick me to the curb and that's when the shit would hit the fan.

I just had to ignore the stinging pain in my chest for betraying this gang that I used to call my family once again, and especially betraying Zayn. Jason left me with no choice as he has all my money and any wrong move I do, it's gone. Not to mention the fact that he knows where my Grams lives and I couldn't bare the thought of anything happening to her.

"Well we're here, 918 remember?" Zayn sighs while giving me Harry's apartment number.
I nod before suddenly realizing something. "Wait... You aren't coming with me?" Panic immediately starts to rush through my body as I think of how Harry will act without Zayn being there.

"Well um..." He awkwardly says while scratching the back of his neck. "I thought you just needed my help to set up this meeting and that you would manage the rest with Harry."

My eyes nearly bulge out of my head by his words. "Zayn... Please for the love of God come with me. He's gonna fucking shoot me or better yet bring me to the terrace and push me off."

A small chuckles escapes his lips as he turns off the engine making a spark of hope ignite in me. "Oh common... You think if Harry wanted to kill you, he would do it that way? He would use his signature move and snap your neck from behind."

"Zayn, that's not funny!" I shout while slapping his arm. He was right though, Harry was known for that move due to how many people he killed with it and how efficiently he did it.

Zayn lets out a small sigh before saying. "I'll make you a deal, okay?" I raise my eyebrow before hesitantly nodding.

"I'll walk you all the way to his door and make sure he's calm, but after that I have to head out. I have some shit to do back at the lounge." He says while rolling his eyes, probably thinking about the work he has.

With a quick nod from me, we get out of the car as more anxiety fills me.

You can fucking do this Roxy.

Not a single word is exchanged between Zayn and I the entire time in the elevator, more of an awkward silence lingers between us. Suddenly the doors slide open revealing floor nine.
Standing in front of the sleek metal door that marked 918 felt so foreign to me even though I used to come here all the time with the boys. Slowly I raise my knuckles to the door and lightly knock on it.

This is it, Roxanne. The moment that you've been dreading, to finally face Harry himself for the first time in a long time.

Suddenly I am disturbed by my thoughts as the door swings open quite aggressively if I may add. Yet there he was, standing over six feet tall in his own glory, Harry Styles himself. After so many memories and history with that man, he was just a stranger to me.

"Well isn't it the traitor herself standing at my doorsteps begging for my forgiveness. A little fucking late, don't you think Roxanne?" The way my name rolled off his tongue in disgust sent shivers down my spine as I completely froze and said absolutely nothing.

Zayn looks up at him with menacing eyes before quickly whispering. "Easy mate, easy." Harry scoffs before examining me with those cold emerald eyes of his.

"Well don't just fucking stand there and come in before I change my mind on even hearing you out." He spits out as I feel rage fill my body but I quickly bite down on my tongue. I better save my snarky remarks or I'll be flying out of here in seconds.

Zayn and Harry say their goodbyes as I beg on the inside for Zayn to stay. He is the only guy that can keep Harry from loosing it, and with him gone, God knows what will happen. I mean he wasn't as bad as Jason, but that was a whole different case.

Harry slams the door shut as he walks to the open living room. Does that kid not know how to close and open a door or is it all for the dramatic effects.

Idiot.

"Took you guys long enough... What did you two do? Probably fuck in the backseat, knowing you." A smirk forms on his lips as I clench my fists.

"You haven't changed one bit. Still a cunt, I see." I bark back not caring that I crossed a line.
A small chuckle escapes his lips as he shakes his head in amusement. "I'd watch it, if I was you because I'm not the homeless one as you can see." He says while waving his hand all around the room, showing off his expensive furniture.

"Oh Harry, please get over yourself. You can't hold grudges with me for cheating on Zayn as you were about to do the same to Bea" I sigh while crossing my arms. Suddenly he snaps his head my direction as a prominent vein bulges out of his neck.

I shouldn't have done that...

"Just sit the fuck down on the couch and stop with your little smart comments because I could have your poor ass living off of nothing." He growls while his temper rises as I cautiously sit down on the white leather couch.

I scowl while putting my arms up in defence before innocently speaking. "Jeez Harry can't you take a joke. Well actually it doesn't surprise me, your sense of humour was barely ever there in the first place."

Suddenly my body jolts as he slams his palm down on coffee table. "Enough! I don't have fucking time to make jokes Roxy. Just make this quick and cut the crap." Harry shouts before rubbing his temples with his large hand. I recollect my thoughts thinking of which way I should put it.

I watch him slump down onto the couch parallel from me before I slowly say. "You want me to cut the crap... So here it is." An enormous sigh is released from my body as I gather the courage to speak while Harry gives me a very impatient look.

"I was threatened by Jason and he took the perfect opportunity to do it while I was drunk. Him and a few of his men followed me to the bar and I was told if I didn't sleep with Jason they would have made a huge scene on Campus, trying to kill both you and Zayn." My eyes start to swell up again as the horrible images of the past flash before my eyes. It was the truth, the reason why this whole mess started, because I craved a stupid glass of whiskey that very night at that very bar.

Harry places his hand on his chin while he showed me a completely emotionless face. "You know they wouldn't have done it, not on Campus. Not where there are hundreds of whiteness and the chance of the FBI getting involved." He finishes his sentence as I start to lose hope since he doesn't believe me.

"Why do you think they got me drunk! Harry you have to believe me on this, I got taken advantage of just so he could get into my pants. I thought I was saving the both of you at the time." I cry out as a small tear escapes my eye. Quickly I wipe it away before it can be noticed. Jason hated tears, he hated any sign of weakness and when shown you paid the consequences for it. I guess that habit always stayed with me.

Harry face softens a little for the first time today before he quickly returns to his emotionless state. "So what was the rush to join Jason's gang afterwards. Doesn't that seem a little fishy to you, because it does to me Roxanne."

"You kicked me out before I even had the chance to explain, you made everyone here disgusted by my actions. Jason was able to give me good cash and fast because Harry try earning some money in this world without a degree and a high school diploma." My throat aches from how tense it is as I try to quickly form my thoughts into sentences.

"How do you expect me to trust you after being with them for a few months now. God knows what you heard or planned. Are you fucking insane for thinking I would let you in." Harry snaps as I feel all my hope of getting back in fall to the ground.

Well Roxy, time to put your acting classes to use.

Suddenly I drop to my knees right in front of him as he raises both his eyebrows in surprise. "Harrold, please for the love of God. I have no fucking money, no home and barely any family. I don't care how foolish I look for coming back but I really need you." Tears start to poor out of my eyes yet I wasn't crying over the words I was saying as it seemed to him. I was crying over the fact that I wanted to be in this gang so badly yet I have to backstab everyone once again.

Harry drops his head into his large hands before mumbling. "Roxanne, love, please don't cry because you know I don't have tolerance for that shit." His voice wasn't harsh but rather strained and weak.
Was I finally cracking his hard shell.

"You were the one that betrayed us but I would be lying if I said you didn't do anything good for this family (Harry calls his gang family since he doesn't have one). I mean you were one of the originals and always worked hard." He speaks quick as I know flattery wasn't exactly his cup of tea.

"So I'll tell you this. You can be on probation but you have to prove to us that your worth coming back, not to mention you have to earn everyone's trust." Harry speaks straight to the point as I feel an incredible amount of joy fill my body.

Quickly I get up from my knees as I exclaim. "Harry thank you, really this mea-" I am quickly cut off by him."Save the parading for someone else. Also I hope you know I don't do this for anyone and if you fuck this up Roxy... I swear to god you will pay hell." I quickly nod my head as a shiver runs through my body.

"Where do I start?" I ask feeling a bit confused by what I should do.

He quickly responds. "This Friday, there's a Halloween frat party. Most of the family will be going so you are expected to be there and rekindle a few old friendships. Just don't fuck shit up and you'll be fine."

"So now what?" I awkwardly say while scratching the back of my head.

"Oh now you can get the fuck out my apartment." I am taken back slightly by his response but I didn't even care because I felt like a weight was removed off my shoulder. Yet now another one is started to set place as I think of when I will tell Jason. A step closer to betraying them once again.

We both walk to the door before I am handed a bit of cash for a cab to take me back to my motel.

"Make me proud love." Harry calmly says as I smile back before the door is closed and my smile immediately drops.

Once outside I pull out my cell before dialling a number I always dread. After a few rings a raspy voice speaks. "About fucking time. Did you have to bang him or something to get in." Jason groans as I roll my eyes from his vulgar comment.

"I'm in. Well on probation." I coldly say as I could practically imagine the smirk on his face right now.

"You never fail to disappoint me sweet heart because now step one of the plan is completed. Come over for your reward." Jason cockily speaks as I release a groan before responding. "I'm tired Jason, please can I just get my money to finally pay off rent so I can move back in."

An evil chuckle escapes his lips. "No fucking excuses Roxy. Maybe if you give me a good time I'll reconsider the amount I pay you."

A give it a thought before annoyingly saying. "Alright, alright, fine. I'll be there soon."
"Good girl."

Notes

HELLO MY LOVELY FRIENDS,

So updating may have taken a bit longer than expected but I'm really proud of this chapter because I put a lot of detail into this one. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Please message me if you have any questions and also please RATE, COMMENT AND SUSCRIBE. Don't be afraid to give me your opinions.

Thank you all so much. Love you

-Michaela

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