My Kind Of Love

Chapter 14 Kiss That Meant Nothing

“I was terrified of you. You actually made me feel something…” -anon

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LrWwtU7iyl0

**Zayn’s POV**

I was sick and tired as annoyance crawled through me. Harry missed the meeting for the second time this week! What the hell was wrong with him, he usually never gave one shit about a girl. And now, he’s acting like a big coward going through some stupid divorce. I needed a break from this shit.

I walk down the alley making my way through the dense forest. I pass a few crack heads and smokers yelling meaningless crap to me. I just simply ignore it; I don’t need to get into foolishness with them. I shiver goes through my spine as I think I used to be one of them… Addicted to a drug that I would die for. Slowly die inside each day. I shake my head so the thoughts may leave my mind. Stupid headache.

I lean against a big willow tree and pull out my red lighter and a cigar. The puffs and rings of smoke float around me as the ashy smell fills my nose. Pure pleasure. I inhale the cloudy substance and feel an instant relief of stress.

Suddenly as I look through the thick forest I see two body outlines in the sun. I gaze at the two figures trying to make up the faces.

Holy shit. It was Bea, with another guy. Not just any guy, Myles. Don’t get me wrong about that kid he is nice, but he is in the wrong gang, Jason’s gang. And for that reason I didn’t like him.

I think she see’s me. I give her a big smirk and worry washes all over her face; she got caught. I quickly pull out my phone and snap a picture of her and Myles knowing exactly whom I would send it too.

Just as Myles is about to turn around I grab my cig and walk off letting the dense forest swallow me up.

**Bea’s POV**

He walks off…

Okay what was that? I don’t care if he tells Harry, he doesn’t own me; I can do whatever the hell I want. And I want to anger Harry for all the pain he has caused me…

I look up at Myles while he looks down at me with his big blue dreamy eyes. Eyes I felt like I knew for a long time even thought I haven’t. Suddenly I step on my tiptoes and he grabs my face between his big strong hands. My stomach was fluttering and my mind was going crazy.

And then it happens. He presses his red warm lips against mine.

I don’t know if I was suppose to feel sparks in my stomach like I did with Harry but I really didn’t. The only reason I let him kiss me was to feel the pleasure of hurting Harry.

Maybe I did feel a spark? I lie to myself…

We pull out and I look up at him, his soft beautiful gaze still on mine. He was so gentle and caring yet tough, the total opposite of Harry.

**Harry’s POV**

“WHAT THE FUCKING HELL, WHY IS SHE WITH THAT CUNT? NO WHY IS SHE WITH ANYBODY BUT ME?” I yell at Zayn while grabbing a pot resting on one of the tables in the lounge. He stares at me bluntly as I smash it against the floor making little pieces of porcelain shatter around us.

He looks up at me and stares me dead into the eyes. “HARRY! You have to let her go. She clearly thought you guys were something else then what you thought. She thought she was more then a toy to you!” The words sting reveling the sad but true reality behind them.

Why the fuck did it bug me so much? MAYBE BECAUSE SHE OBVIOUSLY HAD TO GO CHOOSE SOMEONE FROM JASON’S CREW!

I look around nervously, searching for something to grab. I spot an old vase with dead crumbled roses laying in them and quickly grab it. I yell out a loud inhuman noise and throw it against the wall. The smell of rotten water fills my nose.

“THAT BITCH OBVIOUSLY DID IT TO MAKE ME JEALOUS!” I yell staring at the annoyance coming in Zayns eyes.

“SHUT THE FUCK UP!” His words startle me, because no one ever has the guts to say or yell that to me.

He clears his throat and continues. “This isn’t you Harry… This isn’t the non caring Harry I know! I hate to say this but I think you got feelings for her.” NO NO NO… NO I POSSIBLY CAN’T HAVE FEELINGS FOR HER.

“NO I DON’T, I NEVER DID FOR ANY GIRL AND NEVER WILL!” A mix of emotions fill me as I try to lie to myself. I possibly couldn’t.

“GODAMIT HAROLD! She wasn’t like the other girls you were with. She actually cared for you and you took advantage of that opportunity. You threw her away like a piece of trash in exchange for a ugly hooker.” He yells at me while slamming his fists into the table making the floor slightly shake.

And that’s when it hits me… She was the only one who did actually care, and I wasted that chance of caring back. I was too caught up in my personal shit to notice it but she really did care for me.

I look up at Zayn and softly whisper. “It’s too fuckin late now Zayn.” He looks up at me with anger in his eyes.

“Harry this fucking isn’t you! The real you would go and get back what’s yours. And we both clearly know that!” He says while shoving me in the shoulders. He was right but I just couldn’t do anything. I felt so weak.

“I don’t want to! Fuck is that so hard to understand!” I yell at him even though my voice was tired and strained. He was worrying and I was worrying myself. I was never this weak. Never.

I just shake my head sadly and step outside of our lounge. The smells of cigarettes fill my nose as I walk out the alley. I knew what I needed and that was a substance that took me away from the pain and anger.



“ONE MORE SHOT MATEEE!” I slur happily a little two loud while putting my arm over Johnny’s tattooed shoulders. I was so out of it but I fuckin loved it.
“Fine but just one more Harry. You have been doing this everyday for the passed week and it’s not good for you!” He says concerned about my health. HAH! why the fuck does the clown care.

“You know what Johnny! I don’t give a dam crap if Bea and Myles are fucking right now! Haha! Because I have many bitches of my own to have fun with.” I yell not caring at the words spilling out of my mouth.

He raises an eyebrow at me and says. “Okay-okay I think you have had enough for tonight.” No, I didn’t! I have had enough when I would say so! He pulls out his phone and dials a number. Oh fuck… I knew exactly whom he was calling.

The boys of course… They had to pick me up everyday from this bar because I would be too drunk to get home. They were worried about me but I don’t give a shit.

Alcohol was my escape and solution to every problem.

Notes

HEYYY GUYS!

I hope you are enjoying my story so far and the more chapters to come. Please feel free to message me on kik for questions or just to chat. (Katniss_Peeta)

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Love you all <3

-Michaela