My Kind Of Love

Chapter 12 Forgotten Memories

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fJ5LaPyzaj0

“She was the kind of girl who searched for the things that could never be found” –m.l

**Bea’s POV**

Flashback

FUCK! I’m gonna be late to gym class…again. I don’t even understand why you need gym class in college, so useless.

Campus was empty because all the kids were in class or doing something else; it’s sketchy making me uncomfortable.

I zoom around the outdoor cafeteria and pass a group of scary looking older boys. Oh shit. I quickly pick up my pace, as I notice them staring at me, some with snickers on there faces. They wear all full of tattoos and piercings, very intimidating. As I take more and more quick glances I realize something. Crap! It’s Harry Styles and his gang. I pick up my pace, that kid has quite a reputation, bad boy, player, dangerous and mean.

Suddenly as I turn from the outdoor cafeteria a deep raspy voice shudders through my mind, “Hey babe, do you know what would look good on you? Me.” I freeze and slowly turn around to his crude pick up line. My eyes go wide; it was him, the bad boy, Harry Styles standing in front of me. If I knew better I would have ran but his perfect shiny green orbs were burning me in place. Paralyzing me.

“Ex-excuse me?” I stammer out like a dumbass. Shit. He chuckles, making his handsome dimples pop while flipping his perfect brown locks from his for-head. Did I actually just say that?

“Would you wanna try an Australian kiss? It’s just like a French kiss, but down under…” He asks seductively while walking closer. I gasp while backing up. Dirty bastard. I was scared, oh my god no, I was beyond scared.

“Um no we cannot, I-I have to go!” I stand a little taller trying to make myself look less terrified. He laughs. What the hell.

“Oh well, too bad. I wouldn’t mind having those pretty pink lips of yours around my dick.” He states, right to the point. I’m shocked, what the hell am I suppose to say back! Does that mean he wants me? Someone so ordinary.

“I seriously have to go, I-I have a biology test!” I lie, getting quite irritated.

“Oh you take biology too! We could experiment together?” He winks this time. Oh my gosh, what a dirty pervert.

“You know, saying all these inappropriate pick up lines is really not getting you anywhere!” I say sharply. Holy fuck, I just said to The Harry Styles!

“It clearly is princess, ‘cause you still haven’t ran away from me, you can’t deny my handsome charm.” I big grin appears on his face. Cocky jerk. I whip my head around and start walking smoothly away from the most dangerous man on campus.

Don’t trip; don’t trip Bea!

Suddenly I yelp when I feel a big hand, grip around my wrist and pull me back. He bites his lip and start scanning up and down my body; I shouldn’t have worn a V-neck shirt today. I feel so vulnerable as he licks his pink plump lips for moisture.

“I wouldn’t walk away if I were you doll face.” He groans while slowly grabbing my hips. That’s it! I’ve had it, I’m not gonna let this jerk push me around like his toy.

“First of all I AM NOT your doll face, princess and especially not your babe, and second of all I can walk away any time I want, you can’t stop me.” Holy shit my words keep spilling like a big pile of beans.

“Alright BABE.” He says the word ‘babe’ extra loud just to piss me off. “And yes I can, I can do whatever the fuck I want. No one can deny Harry styles.” Suddenly I yelp when he lowers his hands and squeezes my arse really hard through my leggings.

“Dam you’ve got a nice one, I like it.” He slowly leans in. My knees start to shake and I start to panic.

“Don’t t-touch me!” I shout and regretting it immediately right after. His green pupils soon turn black almost as if he were on a drug. His fingers dig into my hips as anger fills him. Oh shit, what have I done?

“What did you say?” He asks boldly scaring me. I whimper and his eyes meet mine, they were beautiful yet scary.

“Your hot when your scared.” He whispers into my ear while sliding his hands over my curves. I large lump starts to form in my throat as I try to control my shaking legs. “What’s you’re name?” Harry questions while staring into my eyes.

“I-its Bea…” I awkwardly stammer. He slowly brings his lips to the crook of my neck and gently starts sucking on the sensitive skin. I gasp! What the fuck, I barely know the kid. Suddenly a loud moan escapes my mouth. FUCK.

He stops and bites his lips while laughing. Just as I think that he will touch me again he stops. What?

“Bea, I like it.” He smirks one more time and walks off as if nothing ever happened. I was left speechless as I tried to process everything that just happened.

End of Flashback

I snap back to reality as another wave of sobs hit me, thinking about the first time I met him.

“Bea, love it’s ok. I’m here for you hun!” Casper pulls me in for a big hug. She has been basically nursing me all night, and trying to make to make me feel better. But I know nothing can, my heart felt like it was ripped out of me, tore into pieces and shredded. He didn’t break my heart; he destroyed it. I couldn’t care less how over dramatic I sounded but I really did care for him.

Casper grabs my cheeks with both her hands and raises an eyebrow “Go there and show him what a fucking awesome girl he lost!” I try to smile but it came out to a weak nod. She sighs and starts rubbing my shoulder.

I loved her so much; I don’t know what I would do without her.

Congrats slut, he’s yours. I tell myself thinking of the bitch that came out of his apartment. I can’t believe it; he left me at the club for that whore. Does he even fuckin realize how much he hurt me? I couldn’t stop thinking about that monster… and I hated myself for it. Then it happens again…more waves of sobs hit me.

“Casp?” My voice raspy from only crying. “I’m kind of tired you know?” She smiles and takes my hand guiding me to my room. She tucks me as if I were an injured child and smiles.

“Can you please stay with me tonight?” I beg before she leaves. She happily nods while snuggling into the covers with me. I needed human affection right now; I needed it so bad.

As I fall asleep tonight, I pray that I don’t wake up from the darkness that swallows me…

You know that feeling that you get when you wake up in the morning? It is this beautiful feeling that you have for a second or two, when you have forgotten all your cares, fears and worries. Until that moment is gone, it all just hits you harder then ever, leaving a huge mass on your heart. All the memories start flooding back in, all the worries, cares and fears, and you feel so stuck. Yes well I have that feeling. I was never easy with breakups even if it was me who ended it. This wasn’t even a breakup but whatever it was, it sucked. I can get so emotionally attached to a person in a short matter of time that it would be impossible for me to let go. That’s why I may sound so over dramatic.

My thoughts get disturbed as Casper walks in the room with a tray full of food, “Hey babe, I brought your favorite! Chocolate and caramel covered strawberries with peanut butter pancakes.” Oh how I love her. I give her a weak smile and sit up. My stomach starts grumbling intensely as the wonderful smell of fresh pancakes fill the room.

“I was thinking since its Sunday that we watch movies, and maybe go to the park since it’s kinda warm outside! OH! And later tonight we can go to your favorite restaurant!” She squeals as she plans out are little girls day. I start to feel more joyful as Casper and me start stuffing our faces with strawberries.

Maybe he really isn’t worth my time…

Notes

HELLO EVERYONE!

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Thanks and love you all <3

-Michaela