Safe heaven

Erica's P.O.V.

You know the worst type of crying is the silent one. The one where you feel it in your throat and your eyes become blurry from the tears. The one where you just want to scream. The one where you have to hold your breath and grab your stomach to keep it quiet. The one where you can't breath anymore.

I've been crying like this for a couple of hours now it started when I awoke at three. It's now eleven. I have heard countless knocks and the door and my phone hasn't stopped going off since I left Harry's apartment. My head hurts so much just thinking about how many times I have been lied to in the past week. And to be honest I don't know who hurt me more my father, or Harry.

I finally get control of myself and my emotions and decide to head to the shower. We have a dinner party to attended tonight. And not going to lie I don't really want to go. I feel that it is going to be really awkward between me and Harry. But I have to face it sooner or later because we are heading out again on tour soon.

As the hot water runs down my back. I start to think. I'm not that upset over my mothers passing. Don't get me wrong my heart hurts like hell but I think I'm more taken back by the lack of honesty. I step out of the shower and wrap a towel around my body and make my way to my closet. I pull up my simple white dress with little back cut outs and a pair of nude heels.

I walk back into my room and lay my clothes on my bed. I quickly brush out my hair and then throw it up in my towel. I slide on my panties and bra and start my makeup.
I take one last look in the mirror to make sure you can't see the redness and puffiness under my eyes.

Once I'm satisfied I head downstairs.

As I walk down the stairs and nearly pee my pants when I see Harry in my kitchen.

"Harry! You scared me half to death!" I said as he turns around.

"Sorry." He says a bit horse. We stand there for a couple moments in silence.

"Well we should get going." He says holding his hand out. I have a mental debate in my head on weather or not I should take his hand. I don't want him to think everything is okay because I know it's now but I can't act weird around the people we know and the press. I give in and take his hand as he leads me down to his range rover.

"We aren't going with the boys?" I ask as he open the door for me.

"No they wanted to meet up separately, I think they want to go to the club after. But I didn't think you would want to." He says before closing my door and walks over to his side.

The car ride was short and filled with a sort of awkward silence.

As we walk into the restaurant Harry grabs my hand once again. When the boys come in sight I put a smile on my face.

Dinner went pretty smoothly, even though everyone treated me like I was a glass vase that was about to shatter. Harry was right the boys did end up going out to the club after. He declined I could tell he was tired and somewhat upset.

We wait outside the restaurant for Harry's car to come back when all of a sudden a chilly wind starts to pick up.

"Here love." Harry quickly pulls off his blazer and puts it around my shoulders. He keeps his hands firmly on me until the car pulls up.

"Thank you." I say before climbing into the car.

Somehow from the walk from where Harry parked and to our apartments Harry talk me into letting him come in for some tea.

I place a cup down I front of him and sit down next to him and sip at mine.

"Thanks love." He says looking over at me. We sit there for a long period of time in complete silence.

"Erica talk to me" his voice quietly fill the room. I open my mouth to say something but nothing comes out. He gets up and crouches down in front of me. His eyes are full of guilt and sadness. I stare blankly behind him not wanting to meet his gaze because I know at any moment I could break. I felt his hands rest on my knees.

"Please, talk to me. Say something, anything, please?" His voice begged in a whisper. I stayed silent unable to form a sentence. The only noise is us breathing.

"I know I screwed up, and I'm so sorry for not telling you. I'm trying my best to help you. You can't stay quiet when your in this much pain Erica. I'm so worried about you and I have no idea what to do. I love you so much, it's driving me insane seeing you this broken. Please just talk to me." He says as a tear escapes his eye. He is so desperate for me to say something. I feel so bad for doing this but I don't know how to express my feelings right now.

"I- I can't do this anymore Harry." I say turning my head not wanting to look at him.

"What can't you do? Please tell me what I can do. I just want to help you." He says pulling my chin toward him. Our eyes meet and I can't instantly feel the warm tears in my eyes.

"This whole thing." I say putting my hands in the air. "The tour, my family, us" I say half whispered. I witness Harry's heart shatter I front of my words.

"You don't mean that." He says shaking his head. I quickly look away unable to even look at him.

"No, no Erica please don't. You can't you need this, you need us." He says taking my hands in his.

"I'm so sorry." I say shaking my head. Tears now falling freely from my face.

He takes me in his arm. "I promise we will be okay, I'll be right here. We can get through this." He hold me as sobs escape my body. He holds me until I fall asleep.

Notes

Hello lovelies!