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How can I love you if I hate you

♡Starting Over♡

I am so sorry but this is unedited for some stuff may be wrong. I just wanted to updated it because this makes the story more clear and interesting this is where it all begins people.

Kady's Pov

I slowly opened my eyes to see everything going from black to blurry. I was in a room with hospital machines. They kept beeping every second. Wait I am in a hospital and I'm the one laying in a bed! Oh my goodness what happened to me. I turned to my right to see a curly boy looking done at his phone.Wait isn't that Harry as in the son of bitch that tortured me before? I moved myself a little bit just so he can notice.
"Kady thank go your awake wait here I'ma call a doctor." He said as he had a huge smile in his face.
Why the hell is he smiling about isn't this how he wanted to see me be dieing. I haven't seen him since his stupid girlfriend threw me into that freezing water. Oh and also they day he did one of his stupid pranks. Gosh I hate him what is he doing here? But more important what am I doing here?
"Oh well its great to see you awake Kady. I'm Dr.Allen." A tall lady like in her 40's said as she came in with Harry.
"Do you know why you are here?" She said.
"No I only remember being at the oh." I said stopping and remembering how I was at Patrick's funeral 2 weeks ago. He died almost 3 weeks ago, his not here.
"Listen sweetie your here because you had a overdose." She said as calmly as possible. But what is she talking about I don't do drugs.
I shaked my head "no" to her.
"Listen maybe your ...um friend here can explain to you." She said pointing to Harry. What is she talking about Harry isn't my friend. She left the room closing it and it was only me and Harry.
"Listen Kady I know what happened with Patrick." He said almost in a whisper he looked sad but I bet it was all an act.
"And I bet your very happy isn't that what you would always say to him to die."
"Kady I was stupid immature before I would never want him to die at all even if I lik- like y- never mind."
"Why am I here?"
"You don't remember you had an overdose of cocaine and heroin ,luckily the doctors got you stabled in time. Don't you remember me coming to your house and you were on the floor twisting asking for help." He said as I started to remember some parts. I remember going to a drug dealer and he was giving me cocaine. Also I was putting a needle in my arm.
"I remember now." I said in a not caring mode. "I wished that overdose would have killed me I hate this world without Patrick its nothing. There's nothing to live for nobody cares about me." I said to myself or I thought I did.
"Are you kidding me Kady.Why on Earth would you say something so stupid like that. Yes I don't understand what kind of pain your going through you loved him he loved you, you guys were going to get married. But life goes on and you can't just sit here still thinking that his going to come back because his not. Drugging yourself isn't the solution to your problems."
"But sure helps not think about them." I said cutting him off as I could see tears coming out of his green eyes. Wait why is he crying?
"Kady listen to me , your a very beautiful girl who doesn't deserve to die like with her body all destroyed. Your still in time to fix it the drugs haven't made much effect in you. Do you really want to die you knowing that you could have had a bright future but instead you wasted it all in cocaine and heroin. Do you really want to wake up every morning and seeing your face in the mirror seeing how the drugs consume you and turn you into a living skeleton. Please change this because I still want to see that beautiful face of your's." He said kissing my hand and crying on it. I was so surprised out of everyone Harry Styles my bully,my archenemy, that asshole he was the one telling me to keep living. He even called me beautiful I'm so lost.
"Oh and stop thinking that your alone in this world now that Patrick died because your not Kady. Yeah he was a major part in your life. But you still have friends like Lou and Liam who have been worried sick about you. Liam's girl Sophia has even asked if you okay. And if you can accept me I want to be your friend to Kady." He said not letting go of my hand. I couldn't believe I've been so selfish and only think Patrick was the only one who cared for me Lou,Liam and Sophia are worried sick about me. Harry's right I have to leave the drugs. I bet Patrick wouldn't want to see me like this ending my life without him.
Harry kept hold of my hand and I didn't know what to tell him. He got me here to the hospital thanks to him I'm still alive and he wants me to keep living. But part of me was scared to accept him what if he wants to bully me again.
"Harry I don't know you have hurted me too much and I don't know if I could ever trust you." I said
"Please Kady forgive me let me own your trust I've been a piece of shit you and I know that. You don't how I've been feeling this past weeks knowing that half of you suffering is my fault I treated you like an animal in high school. And I still treated you like a slave now that were adults. What happened it Sweden wasn't a prank Kady just that stupid Kendall came out of no where and took you flowers away. They were for you not for her." He said holding my both hands as I didn't say anything.
"Kady I really want to be here for you now that your so heartbroken. I want you to see that there's still a point in living. I want to be the friend that's gonna take care of you please forgive me I beg you." He said getting on his knees and crying. I finally made a decision and I was going to tell him.
"I forgive you Harry I do because thanks to you I'm still alive. Even though I have know clue how you got to me? Anyways you told me something really important to me today your right stupid drugs aren't helping me in anything there just trying to kill me even though thats what I want. And telling me in my face and crying that your sorry for what you did to me takes courage and not many people to that. Yeah I forgive you and..." I stopped as he got up and sat next to me.
"And?" he said amused.
"And friends I don't know, I don't think you can ever earn my trust." I said as he did a sad face.
"Kady Please?" He said as some part of me was saying yes. But this was all happening so fast that I couldn't say yes.
"Harry let me think about it in the mean time can you try to get out of here?"I said as he smiled at my last words.
"Sure let me see what I can do." He said kissing my hand and leaving. I swear this is all so werid to me he doesn't want to make fun of me he just wants to be friends it was all so confusing.
*Few Hours Later*
"So how you get me out of the hospital?" I asked him breaking the silence that was in his car.
"I told them I was Harry fucking Styles and everything I say is always done wheather they like it or not. I was probably yelling at them I don't even know but they looked worried and they agreed to let you go." He said as I laughed.
"Your so full of yourself." I said teasing him.
"No I'm not."
"Yeah you really are."
"You know whats beautiful."
"What your girlfriend Kendall."
"No well maybe yeah but anyways not that."
"What?"
"Seeing a girl smiling even when she's passing through many suffereing." He said as we stopped at a red light I knew he was talking about me but I just I don't know didn't want to think it. He gave me a smile and one of his hands was searching mine. He found it and then just grabbed it.
I let go of him a minute later and said "So who's this girl your talking about." I asked as if I didn't know know it was me.
"You Kady you were smiling that was beautiful."
"Well I don't know why your telling me this you hated me once and you have a girlfriend." I said looking at the window we were close to where I lived by.
"Can we please not talking about that again."
"About what the part about how you hated me or the part that you have a girlfriend."
"Both I told you sorry already."
"Well that ain't gonna help me recover from what you did to me once." I said as I could see him getting angry.
"What the fuck was the whole point of telling you sorry if your never going to accept it. You know what get out."
"What?!" I said shocked at what he said.
"You heard me get out your not even far from where you live." A part of me was telling me "way to go stupid now you made him mad." I felt sorry in a way, I didn't want to go back home again to be alone, I might want to do drugs again.
"Harry"
"Get out" I started to close my eyes and breathing hard like if I was going to faint or I couldn't breathe. Ima say I'm a pretty good actor because Harry believed it and got worried.
"Kady are you okay?"
"Not really I feel like I the air is cut short. I seeing kind of blurry."
"I'm not going to live you like this." He said driving his range rover a little more to the block I live. When we got there he got out of the car and went to my side to open it and helped me get out. He walked me to my apartment and sat me on the couch.
"Thanks"
"Welcome Kady see you should see how nice I am and don't start doubting my forgiveness." He said as he said it like he was mad.
"I forgive you Harry I told you already. Its just that why do you want to be my friend? Is it cause you feel sorry for me?" I asked as he took a deep breath.
"No Kady I just want to be your friend because I notice how your actually a nice and caring person. What happened to you with Patrick is I guess the worst thing that could happen to someone. I bet your feeling a horrible pain."
"I'm not going to lie I have the worst pain I've ever had its that pain I felt when my parents where gone." I said as I kinda thought to myself why did I tell him that.
"Wait when your parents where gone? Kady what are you talking about. I mean if you don't want to tell me its cool."
"I have this pain in my chest that I just need to tell somebody so they can hear me." I said as tears came out.
"You can tell me Kady Ima hear you." He said looking at me directly.
"Yeah Harry my parents died when I was in the 14 years old it was during the summer weeks after my 8th grade graduation. I don't know how it happened or if it was actually an accident. But I still remember that day like if it was yesterday:
*Flashback*
"Mom I swear you better come back fast you promised me we were gonna go shopping before high school starts and take me to the beach." I said as my mom literally hugged me and we both feel onto the bed.

"I know baby we will I promise but you better be good with your Aunt Emma see she came all the way from England just to take care of you." She said rubbing my back.
"Correction My aunt Emma has no children or a man so she gets very bored at home so why not get distracted her in Miami where she can find a man faster." I said as my mom and I both laughed.
"Oh my gosh Kady don't you dare say that in front of her or else she will give you a spank."
"Mom don't worry she won't and remember its our secret." She nodded in agreement and just hugged me again.
"Well whats all this hugging Kady no." My father said coming in. I had to say I was worried about them the most this time and I didn't know why I just had a feeling a very bad one.
"Baby we will be gone for almost a month and we will be back super fast. Kady your almost a young lady you can't be crying all the time I think its time to for you to get used to our job honey." My father said as he rubbed my back too and wiped my tears off.
"Daddy its just that I don't know I have a very bad feeling about this one I don't know why." I said as he sat next to me and my mom.
"Tell you what honey lets make a deal. Right now you will go to bed and have some sleep. When you wake up I will call you immediately so that you can know that were safe and sound. Okay Kady will that make you feel better a phone call in the morning." He said as he holded my hand and walked me to my bed.
"Yes Daddy." I said as my mom uncovered the bed sheets and helped my get tucked in just like when I was a little girl.
"Sweet dreams Kady we love you and take care now. We will call you in the morning." My father said as he kissed me on my forehead and my mother on my cheek.
"Goodnight Mom goodnight Dad I love you guys take care." I said as I waved bye to them and they closed the door.
*End of flashback.*
"You never got that call didn't you Kady." Harry said holding one of my hands.
"No I didn't I waited hours and hours until
*Flashback*
I kept paising the whole living room making circle did they forget. I had a very strong feeling maybe they did. I don't know I had a bad feeling something happened.
*Phone Ringing*

I heard the phone ringing I ran to it as fast as I could. I picked it up and I saw my aunt Emma saying "no Kady don't" but I didn't listen what she was talking about.

"Hello mommy Daddy are you guys safe and sound how's Switzerland?"
"This isn't your parents this is the police tell your auntie that David Ponce and Elizabeth Ponce bodies were taken to get an autopsie." The telephone fell from my hand. They can't be serious this must be a sick joke. My parents didn't die.
I looked at Emma who just shacked her head no and I started to cry she came running to me. "Why?" I said as I cried harder.
"I don't know sweetheart they were going to the airport and the made a stop and your dad was on his phone and it just happened truck just came and it hit it. I'm so sorry Kady." She said hugging me tiet. But nothing felt important to me anymore. Nothing my parents are gone whats worth in life.
*End of flashback*
I wiped my tears off which my shirt.
"Ever since that it took me time to understand and keep moving with my life without them." I said as Harry had this guilt written all over his face.
"Kady I'm so sorry I really am how could I be such a dick and treated you the way I did when you just had lost your parents. I never let you talk and I never cared. I hate myself right now." He said as tears came out of his eyes.
"Yeah you hurt me more Harry before when you would just bully me I felt worthless but then I meet Patrick and he stood by me all the time. He actually gave me a reason to keep living. I had many thoughts of suicide but he turned them away because he always told me that he wouldn't let me or he would cry. This is why it hurts so much again because it was someone who not only loved me with all there heart but they gave me so much happiness and reason to keep waking up. And now I feel empty I feel lost again in this world. Just like I did almost 6 years ago. I hated that feeling and I never ever imagined experiencing it again. That's why I was so vulnerable to the drugs I felt like they would only help me. Since Patrick's gone I feel nothing is worth anything anymore." I said as Harry moved close to me and rubbed my back.He let me lean on him and I rest on his chest.
"Kady I feel like a worthless piece of shit I think I do deserve your reason to hate me and why everyday people always send me hate. There right I'm nothing but a worthless shit I ruined your life before. When the only thing your wanted to do was keep on going with your life. You were suffering and I made you suffer more. I made you think you weren't worth anything when you really are worth more than what you think. How can I look at you again without feeling that guilt. Kady I'm so sorry for your parents, I'm sorry for what I did, and I'm sorry for Patrick. I truly am I'm such a jerk." He said as he removed me hand from my back and started to cry but literally cry. I felt sorry for him I really did he was actually sorry for his actions now. I could see that Harry that everyone would talk about not the asshole but the real caring one.
"Kady I just want you to know that I really care about you even if you don't care about me. I don't want you to die or anything."
"I know I believe you and I accept your apology now I really do." I said as he kinda of smiled. He had as nice cute smile I never noticed it.
"You wanna start over like forget everything that happened between us before?" He said.
"Yes I do."
"Hi my name is Harold Styles but everyone calls me Harry."
"Hi my name is Kadlyn (this might be wrong the spelling but I didn't want to look it up) Ponce but everyone calls me Kady." I said as we both shooked hands and kind of laughed.
"Kady I hope I can be your friend." He said giving me the most friendly smile.

"I hope so too." I said smiling back. Today I guess was a great day every since I last saw Patrick. I actually smiled today and maybe laughed and they weren't fake no they were real. I also got to meet that Harry that all the Directioners talk about the lovable, caring one, sensitive one. His not the asshole I always thought he was. He just was an immature kid before who left sorry for his actions. Today I saw the real human Harry Styles really was. And I was hoping that I could become friends with that Harry.

Notes

Okay so I hope you guys like this Chapter always Subscribe,Comment,Vote and Rate for the story.
I worked two days for this chapter and its pretty long like I checked its like 3336 words yeah pretty long. Anyways aren't you excited for whats coming next Kady wants to friends with Harry and Harry does too isn't it cute.
But keep these questions in mind:
How will Kendall react to this?
Will Zayn stop being an asshole to Kady?
Will the Kady go back and work again?
Will Sophia come out more?
Will Harry leave that worthless bitch his dating? (No offense to her its just a story.)

Comments

update!!

Teresa Horan Teresa Horan
5/5/15

update!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Update soon. Hurry.

#bored

sirenastyles sirenastyles
6/19/14

Keep writing please