Over Again
Chapter 15
Louis' P.O.V.
She began, as I had pleaded her to do. What could have happened? What the fuck? Why?
"Well. I came back because I wasn't feeling too well because... Uh, I just wasn't, so I came home and went into the bath and stuff and I stayed here for a couple hours", she started, her eyes looking at the floor as she let her wet hair fall over both sides of her face.
"Then, I was feeling better, and I needed some air so I went for a walk in the park with some music."
"Alone?", I protruded, and she responded with,
"No, I have bodyguards Louis. Duh", she said, sarcastically, although not in her usual voice. It was weak, and filled with... Sadness? Fear? After I said nothing, she looked up at me, as I searched her deep brown eyes for answers, finding none.
"I went to the park. Alone. And I walked for a few hours", she continued,
"And I... I kinda... All these thoughts came rushing into my head and I... I just didn't know how to deal with them being... Gone, you know? Never coming back. Just fallen off the face of the Earth... So, I um. I was crying", she looked down again, ashamed.
"Shhhh. It's okay. You have to mourn them- we can't just expect you to-", I tried to comfort her, wrapping my hands around herc as I sat next to her, but she interrupted, although not breaking our position.
"I know... But. But how the fuck can I expect THIS to happen? I mean..."
Shit. I had no idea about what was going on, but a feeling of guilt rushed over me. Why hadn't I stayed with her if she wasn't feeling well? I KNEW it, but I'm that much of a dick to let her stay alone, in a time like this, partying and fucking NANDO'S?
"I'm so sorry. So so sorry", I said, as her eyes turned glassy, and she looked down. Suddenly she looked back up, surprising me.
"You're sorry. Hell, Louis. Why the hell are YOU SORRY? I can't live my life with you guys being there for me every step of the way. This was MY choice. I went to the park and I stayed out late, because I'm freaking STUPID! And... And that guy..."
My eyes widened at what she'd just said. No. No. That wasn't possible.
She's talking about something else. It's just... No. Impossible.
She hid her face in my chest and I could hear her shaky breaths. I tried to breathe deeply, but to no avail, as I bubbled with anger. Why? I have no fucking idea. But, I don't know, the part that people do THAT- rape people- enraged me. But it couldn't have happened to her. She was too pure, to good, for that to happen. I didn't believe it.
But I did.
"What happened?"
I said, refusing to believe it, only to have her bury her face deeper into my chest.
"Say it. I don't believe it otherwise. Just... Say it", I asked, unable to believe what could have happened to her. After a long silence, she took a deep breathe, and spoke, her voice shaking slightly,
"I'm not a virgin anymore."
Jenna's POV
"No... No. That's not possible! No. No no no no no no no no no no no no no. I... I have to go."
He removed my head from his chest and walked out the door, as I tried to hold the sobs in.
I had managed to hold my stupid tears in my eyes. But I hadn't managed to stop calling Louis every two minutes since he had left. I'd even tried calling the boys after I'd figured that Louis wasn't gonna answer anytime soon, but they didn't either. Perfect. Just fucking perfect.
Why in hell did I have to tell him? Couldn't I just keep it to myself, instead of burdening others with it... Wait, no others. Just him. He wouldn't tell anyone else, right? Right?
Louis' POV
I I entered the house to Harry, Liam, Niall and Zayn playing Fifa. I marched past them, it currently being Liam and Zayn's turn, and pressed the off button loudly, and the TV turned black.
"Dude! I was win-", Liam started, but saw my face and rephrased his question.
"What happened, Lou", he asked me, in a low voice. Here we are, sitting and playing freaking Fifa, or eating Nando's yesterday, when Jenna got... Jenna got raped. And we were completely oblivious to it.
"I just came back from Jenna's", I started, but got cut off by Harry.
"What did you say to her?", he said through gritted teeth, traces of anger lingering in his voice.
"Harry, shut the fuck up. I was with YOU guys yesterday. And we were without her. Even though her fucking parents just fucking died, we had to go to fucking Nando's and in the meantime..."
I saw Harry's expression drift from anger and curiosity, to concern and worry.
"What happened", Niall said, none of the others daring to utter a word.
"Oh, nothing Niall. She got raped. Fucking raped. And we were at fucking Nando's", I started in a monotone, my voice quickly transitioning from low to pretty much yelling. I saw their faces in shock, unbelieving, just like mine when I first got the idea. And I stormed out the room into my bed. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket, and I pulled it out just as it ended. Perfect timing, even though I didn't want to speak to anyone. Until I saw the name. Jenna. Along with 43, now 44, missed calls. How did I miss that.
I couldn't bring myself to speak to her, and I turned my phone to silent, setting it on the side of my bed, and took off all my clothes, stripping down to my boxers and diving under the covers. My face sunk into my pillow, I just thought.
Thought of how much of an arse and a dick I was.
And of all the good things I had done in comparison to the bad ones.
I had guilt wash over me, and I fell asleep with just that- guilt.
She began, as I had pleaded her to do. What could have happened? What the fuck? Why?
"Well. I came back because I wasn't feeling too well because... Uh, I just wasn't, so I came home and went into the bath and stuff and I stayed here for a couple hours", she started, her eyes looking at the floor as she let her wet hair fall over both sides of her face.
"Then, I was feeling better, and I needed some air so I went for a walk in the park with some music."
"Alone?", I protruded, and she responded with,
"No, I have bodyguards Louis. Duh", she said, sarcastically, although not in her usual voice. It was weak, and filled with... Sadness? Fear? After I said nothing, she looked up at me, as I searched her deep brown eyes for answers, finding none.
"I went to the park. Alone. And I walked for a few hours", she continued,
"And I... I kinda... All these thoughts came rushing into my head and I... I just didn't know how to deal with them being... Gone, you know? Never coming back. Just fallen off the face of the Earth... So, I um. I was crying", she looked down again, ashamed.
"Shhhh. It's okay. You have to mourn them- we can't just expect you to-", I tried to comfort her, wrapping my hands around herc as I sat next to her, but she interrupted, although not breaking our position.
"I know... But. But how the fuck can I expect THIS to happen? I mean..."
Shit. I had no idea about what was going on, but a feeling of guilt rushed over me. Why hadn't I stayed with her if she wasn't feeling well? I KNEW it, but I'm that much of a dick to let her stay alone, in a time like this, partying and fucking NANDO'S?
"I'm so sorry. So so sorry", I said, as her eyes turned glassy, and she looked down. Suddenly she looked back up, surprising me.
"You're sorry. Hell, Louis. Why the hell are YOU SORRY? I can't live my life with you guys being there for me every step of the way. This was MY choice. I went to the park and I stayed out late, because I'm freaking STUPID! And... And that guy..."
My eyes widened at what she'd just said. No. No. That wasn't possible.
She's talking about something else. It's just... No. Impossible.
She hid her face in my chest and I could hear her shaky breaths. I tried to breathe deeply, but to no avail, as I bubbled with anger. Why? I have no fucking idea. But, I don't know, the part that people do THAT- rape people- enraged me. But it couldn't have happened to her. She was too pure, to good, for that to happen. I didn't believe it.
But I did.
"What happened?"
I said, refusing to believe it, only to have her bury her face deeper into my chest.
"Say it. I don't believe it otherwise. Just... Say it", I asked, unable to believe what could have happened to her. After a long silence, she took a deep breathe, and spoke, her voice shaking slightly,
"I'm not a virgin anymore."
Jenna's POV
"No... No. That's not possible! No. No no no no no no no no no no no no no. I... I have to go."
He removed my head from his chest and walked out the door, as I tried to hold the sobs in.
I had managed to hold my stupid tears in my eyes. But I hadn't managed to stop calling Louis every two minutes since he had left. I'd even tried calling the boys after I'd figured that Louis wasn't gonna answer anytime soon, but they didn't either. Perfect. Just fucking perfect.
Why in hell did I have to tell him? Couldn't I just keep it to myself, instead of burdening others with it... Wait, no others. Just him. He wouldn't tell anyone else, right? Right?
Louis' POV
I I entered the house to Harry, Liam, Niall and Zayn playing Fifa. I marched past them, it currently being Liam and Zayn's turn, and pressed the off button loudly, and the TV turned black.
"Dude! I was win-", Liam started, but saw my face and rephrased his question.
"What happened, Lou", he asked me, in a low voice. Here we are, sitting and playing freaking Fifa, or eating Nando's yesterday, when Jenna got... Jenna got raped. And we were completely oblivious to it.
"I just came back from Jenna's", I started, but got cut off by Harry.
"What did you say to her?", he said through gritted teeth, traces of anger lingering in his voice.
"Harry, shut the fuck up. I was with YOU guys yesterday. And we were without her. Even though her fucking parents just fucking died, we had to go to fucking Nando's and in the meantime..."
I saw Harry's expression drift from anger and curiosity, to concern and worry.
"What happened", Niall said, none of the others daring to utter a word.
"Oh, nothing Niall. She got raped. Fucking raped. And we were at fucking Nando's", I started in a monotone, my voice quickly transitioning from low to pretty much yelling. I saw their faces in shock, unbelieving, just like mine when I first got the idea. And I stormed out the room into my bed. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket, and I pulled it out just as it ended. Perfect timing, even though I didn't want to speak to anyone. Until I saw the name. Jenna. Along with 43, now 44, missed calls. How did I miss that.
I couldn't bring myself to speak to her, and I turned my phone to silent, setting it on the side of my bed, and took off all my clothes, stripping down to my boxers and diving under the covers. My face sunk into my pillow, I just thought.
Thought of how much of an arse and a dick I was.
And of all the good things I had done in comparison to the bad ones.
I had guilt wash over me, and I fell asleep with just that- guilt.
Notes
Poor Louis :(
Let me know what I should do.
Plus I'm thinking of discontinuing this story, but let me know if you want me to keep writing.
Thanks, xxx
NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2/22/14