Always.

This day was already getting on my nerves. All I want to do it go home, put on sweats, and eat a tub of Ben & Jerry’s. Is that too much to ask? But I can’t do that, instead I have to sit in class, luckily it’s English and I like this class. Harry was just being complicated today though, first he’s nice because he wants me to come to his stupid party, then he’s made because I’m doing an English assignment with Liam! Why the hell does that matter? He has Caroline, who probably will go to his party so he can have fun with her. And then he’s sweet and remembers all those things about me to share on the spot, also making me look like a shit best friend, at least I feel like one.
God, this is so frustrating! Things have never been so complicated with Harry before and I don’t want it to get out of hand, but I feel like it’s going to anyway. What is going on? Ugh, stupid and Harry has to go and be stupid and this whole situation is fucking stupid.
“So yesterday in class we wrote about our favorite books, so your project is to make us a display of said book. It can be either yours or the favorite book of your partner, and if you both have the same book, then that makes it even better.” She claps her hands and laughs. “Now, I’ve had display board, and other extravagant things. I don’t care how you represent the book, and I understand that not all of you are artist, but just make it your own. The thing is you have to incorporate words and their meaning to you. It can be your words, and/or quotes taken from the book. That’s probably why this is easier when you have the same book, because if you don’t and you haven’t read the others book, you have to read another.”
Maybe I’ll get a candy bar from the vending machine.
“Does anyone already have their partners picked out? Or how about this, raise your hand if you have partners already?”
I raised my hand slowly, and looked back at Liam who had his hand raised and a smile directed towards me. A couple of others raised their hands too, and once Ms. Wagner gave us a nod, we placed them down.
She continued talking, but all I could think about was ice cream. I didn’t care about anything else… Maybe I would just skip the rest of the day, go to a ‘doctor’s appointment’ or something. I could text my dad and have him call so I can leave. He probably wouldn’t even question anything if I told him I had an appointment.
Wait, today is chicken strip day, though… They make the best chicken strips and mashed potatoes, but then I have to go to Spanish. Ugh, whatever.
I pull out my phone from my bag and text him.
To: Dad
Can you call the school and tell them to let me check out at 12:30, please. Have an appointment. Thanks.
Almost instantly he replied with an Okay.
Thanks the lord, I can hear the junk food calling my name. But then I’ve got to meet Liam later . . . dang!
*Ring, Ring, Ring*
The bell already, geez.
I packed up my bag and moved to walk out the door and go to Biology but someone stopped me.
“Hey Kelly.”
“Hi, Liam.” I turn to him and smile.
“I was just wondering what time you wanted to meet up tonight.”
“Oh. Uh, after school whenever you’d like.”
“Do you want to meet at Café Presse at 3:45. We can come up with the main idea for our project.”
“That’s sounds fantastic! I’ll see you then. Oh, we should exchange numbers!” I smile.
He nods and we hand each other our phones and add the contact. Once we trade back Liam says “See you later.”
***
"Kelly, how’s the first week been so far?"
"Oh, it's been okay. To be honest, I'm just ready for it to be over." I tell Ms. Walker as I sit my stuff down at the round table.
"Do you have a 'doctor’s appointment' already?" She asks raising an eyebrow.
"Uh, there's a good possibility." I look away from her stare, but she just laughs.
"That's my girl... Oh, Harry!" She says, and I turn my gaze to the classroom door. “You’re not late!"
Harry simply laughs and shakes his head, "I know, I quite impressed myself." He gives her a dimpled grin as he lays his stuff next to mine.
Walker rolls her eyes and pays attention to the other student in the class.
"Hey." Stupid.
"Hi, Harry."
"Listen, I'm sorry about earlier."
"Yea, you should be. What the hell has been going on, you get so angry all the time?!" I whisper, so no one else will here.
"I said I was sorry!"
"O-fucking-kay Harry. I don't care about your apology right now because this is what the second or third time you've gotten mad in a bit over nothing! I just want to understand, I just want you to tell me!"
"Kelly. . ." He was quiet, and we could hear some kids whispering while Ms. Walker talked to them.
"We tell each other everything, remember?" I say hopeful.
He sighed, "I don't just, I don't think you should see Liam?" He runs a hand through his hair and slouches in his seat.
"And why not?" I reply calmly.
"Because I don’t want you to, okay?”
I didn’t know what to say, and I didn’t want to repeat myself. I’m just ready to go home, screw chicken strip day.
Grabbing my stuff from the table, I walk up to Ms. Walker who is watching the students chat. “Ms. Walker, I was wondering if you would mind if I left. Not really feeling it today.”
She looked at me sympathetically and replied, “Of course, dear. If you need to talk about it Monday, I’ll be here.”
I nodded, giving her a small smile and left the room.
I just wanted to get out, so I walked down the hall towards the office, figuring out what I would say to the secretary.
“Kelly!” the familiar voice sounded, his boots echoed through the halls. “Kelly.”
I tried to talk faster, but he was too fast. I turned to him once he reached me. “What do you want?” I spoke, rather rudely.
“Where are you going?”
“I’m leaving.”
“Why?”
“Because I just want to leave and eat my weight in Ben & Jerry’s, and then later regret it when I’m bloated meeting Liam later. Yes, I am meeting him. And you know what we’re doing? We’re going to work on a project. So you can say however many times you want that you don’t think I should see him, cause I don’t care. I’m going to be friends with him, and if something happens, then it happens! You don’t have a say, because you have no reason behind anything. So, I’m sorry I can’t please you! I’m sorry you keep getting pissed over something that shouldn’t matter to you, I’m sorry that I don’t understand what is going through your crazy mind, and I am so fucking sorry that this year is going to be hell because Mitchell had to seat us together. So if you’ll please excuse me, I have a ‘doctor’s appointment.’” I know it was wrong, but I had to release my frustration somehow because I was literally going to drive myself crazy just because of Harry’s problem with Liam. I stormed away from Harry but only go half way to my destination before he called again. Reluctantly I faced him.
“You know what Kelly? Fine, go ahead, date him. You’re right; it is none of my business so I hope you have fun with him. And when things don’t turn out the way you hope, don’t expect me to give a shit and be there for you because this time I won’t.” he spoke inches away from my face, pure anger over his features as he pointed a finger at me.
I hated this, and I couldn’t help but get emotional as I turned around and walked straight to the office, tears in my eyes.
“Kelly dear, what is wrong?” Ms. Adams asked. She was a sweet middle-aged lady with dark hair, very petite. She was beautiful and one of the sweetest ladies I had ever met.
“Uhm,” I sniffled, “Nothing, I’m just supposed to leave for a doctor’s appointment.” I say, rubbing my fingers under my eyes.
“Right, your father called but he said 12:30, it’s 11:15.”
Good thing I prepared for this. “Really? Oh, I told him this morning that my appointment was at 12:30… I guess he wasn’t paying attention. I have to go all the way to Springfield though so I need to leave early.” I was still upset from what happened between Harry and I and I think that she could tell.
She looked at her desk and bit her lip while thinking everything over. “Alright, Kelly but just this one time.” She whispered, pointing to the sign out sheet. “I like the Americone Dream ice cream.” She winks.
“I got it.” I smile back at her, it’s forced though. “I’ll bring some Monday. Have a nice rest of your day.” I turn to leave the office.
“You too, dear.”
I walk out of the office and out the front door of the building and walk to the senior parking lot. You know, I guess that’s one thing about going to the same school district your whole life and being in high school 4 years. You get to know everyone, and if certain people know you’re a good student, it’s pretty easy to get away with some things. Some even know that I just need to get out every once in a while.
After going to the store and picking up ice cream and some peanut butter Oreo cookies just because I can, I got in to my car and decided to text my dad before going home in case he was there.
To: Dad
Are you at work?
From: Dad
No, why?
To: Dad
No reason, was gonna come by and get some gas. I’ll do it later; I have to meet up with someone after school. Also, Harry’s having one of his parties tonight so, just a warning.
From: Dad
K, and another one? Geez, good thing he’s graduating and there won’t be anymore. I guess I’ll be out tonight. You can fend for yourself right?
I scoff as I reply with a ‘Yea. Have a nice night, gotta go.’ In reality, when don’t I fend for myself?
Well, now that I can’t go home I have to go sit somewhere else. Where? I don’t know. Usually Harry and I skip together, not that we do it too often, but we’ve done it.
I drive aimlessly towards Kimberling City until I finally decided where I want to go. Though my attire isn’t completely appropriate, I get out of my car with my stuff as I approach the lake.
It’s quite beautiful out, and no one is here, though they would be this weekend. Some boats are tied up by the docks, and the sky is clear and beautiful. I walk to the edge of the dock and remove my heels before placing my feet in the sun-heated lake water. I grab my ice cream, and one of the spoons I got from my car (sometimes I bring yogurt to school and forget to take the spoon inside.) and dig in. I got the peanut butter fudge core because it looked delicious.
Though most times I hate coming to the lake because I can’t really swim, it’s nice to come and think. I don’t think here as often as I should, simply because sometime I don’t want to be alone to think.
I used to think all the time when I was younger, more so than now, which is ridiculous to think about. From age zero through grade 2 I was always so quiet. I never talked to anyone, not even at recess. Instead I would sit on the grassy hill that faced a plethora of trees, and just stare at them. My mom used to tell me I was like my Aunt Annabelle; she said she thought all the time and she’d write it down in a journal. We are actually a lot alike.
I tried to start a journal once because of her, but I would write about pointless stuff, and then I met Harry.
He completely brought me out of my shell, and how he did it I may never know. We’ve always been good together, that’s why these past three days have been so confusing.
*ring, ring*
I reach for the phone in my pocket and see Liam’s calling.
“Hello.” I answer.
“Hey, Kelsey. I was just wondering if you were alright. It’s 4:15 and you aren’t here, yet.”
My eyes widened, I pulled my phone away from me and glanced at the clock before hurriedly grabbing all my stuff and racing back to my car. “Oh my God, Liam. I am so sorry, I was just distracted and ugh, I’m on my way right now. I’ll be here in 10.”
“No worries.” He laughs.
I throw my stuff in the car and climb in. “See you soon.” I breathe.
“See you.”

Notes