Always.

The sound of my alarm buzzing fills the quiet, dimly lit room. The sky is light because of the moon because it’s too early for the sun to be awake at this time of morning. I don’t want to be up, but after I begged Anne to let me help her make Thanksgiving dinner and she finally said yes, I thought I owed it to her to be there early.

I groaned getting out of bed and slid off my shorts and tank top and into some black leggings and my favorite gray t-shirt. I pulled on a pair of fuzzy socks onto my feet and up over the bottom of my leggings so it reached my ankles. I had showered last night, so all I needed to do this morning wash my face and brush my teeth, and take care of other morning things before I headed over.

Once I finished, I put half, the top half, of my hair into a ponytail and let the rest hang down. As I thought about it, Anne would probably want me to put my hair up so it wouldn’t get in the food. I ended up putting it in a bun near the top of my head, which I was trying to avoid, but hey. I do what I have to do.

I put all my stuff, my change of clothes and a little make up, in a bag to leave in Harry’s room once we’re done cooking. I walk from my room, phone, bag, purse with house keys in hand. When I shut my door, the living room light is on, which is weird since it’s pretty early in the morning. I slowly walk towards the light to see my father sitting on the couch in his work clothes wide awake.

I muster up enough courage to speak to him, since it feels like I haven’t in so long. “Hey, dad.” Was that even my voice?

He wasn’t startled or surprised when he turned to face my, he nodded merely acknowledging my presence before replying, “Where are you going so early?” he asked.

I fiddled with the strap of my bag, avoiding direct eye contact. “Uhm, I asked Anne if I could help her cook this Thanksgiving. I just kind of missed it.” I shrugged and then finally looked at him. “Why are you up?”

“I just got off work so I didn’t have to today.”

“Oh.” I was quiet again, not really knowing what to say… “Uh, are you coming over to the Styles’? They’re having a rough patch and I’m sure familiarity and normality would be good for them one last time. We’ve all always spent Thanksgiving together, you know.”

“Yea,” he nodded. “I’ll be there. Do you know what time?”

“Uh, around 3:30 or 4 o’clock maybe. It’s the usual dress nice kind of thing.”

“Okay, see you then. Bye dad.” I say and turn my attention towards the door, slipping on my Adidas before turning the handle. “Bye Kelly.” He said quietly, but loud enough for me to hear.

I closed the door and sighed, but began walking over the yard to the Styles’. Anne said the door would be open, but she would also probably be awake. I decided just to let myself in and saw a light in the kitchen. I slipped off my shoes and I smiled to myself as I walked in, seeing Anne leaning against a counter in her robe and her cheetah print pajama pants. A cup of, I’m assuming tea, was cupped in both of her hands. She looked across the kitchen, staring blankly as she slowly sipped her drink.

“Oh, Kelly dear. I didn’t hear you come in!” she said, when she noticed my standing in the kitchen. She smiled warmly at me and gestured to a cup next to her on the counter. “It’s for you.”

I smiled appreciatively at her. “Thank you.” I lifted the strap of my bag and said, “I’m going to put this in Harry’s room real quick.”

She nodded at me and I walked back towards his room. When I walked in I could hear him lightly snoring. I watched him as I sat my bag down next to his dresser, taking his beauty in. His naked torso left me breathless, the way he lent his body to the right had my heart thumping. His long, messy hair covered his pillows, and you could see his wide spread legs underneath under the sheets. Everything about him was incredible really, and anyone would have to be blind to see that. He may be the more beautiful human-being to walk this earth, and though it’s apparent on the outside, it’s even truer on his inside.

I could have probably watched him until he woke up and then I would have climbed in bed next to him telling him how much I love him, over and over again until I lost my voice from constant talking. But, I decided to quietly leave his room and head back to the kitchen.

I grab the coffee and pull myself onto counter across from Anne, who smiles at me, but she seems more thoughtful than usual.

“Are you okay?” I ask her, taking a sip of the hot tea. She must have just made it before I came over.

“Of course dear, I’m just thinking about things, and how different they are. It feels like just yesterday your mum and I were making Thanksgiving dinner. You, Gem, and Harry were in the kitchen trying to help, but just ended up making a mess.” She laughs and shakes her head. “I just can’t believe that this could be the last year of this. You’re going to move in with Harry. We’re going back to London. We’re going to be so far from you two. It was hard enough having Gemma leave. Now I’ll be away for 2 out of three of you. What am I supposed to do?” she laughed, but I could tell she was upset. “God, I am such a mum.”

“But you’re a good one.” I smile at her. “We’ll be a phone call, or video chat away. You know we’ll talk to you as much as we can when you all leave. Let’s face it, Harry’s the biggest momma’s boy.” She chuckled and covered her mouth with her hand at my comment. It was true. “I’m sure he’ll be on a flight over there for Christmas.”

“Both of you come for Christmas.” She says, looking me straight in the eye. “Oh, I couldn’t. I don’t have the money for that kind of plane ticket.”

“Don’t be silly dear, we’ll pay for you.”

I shake my head immediately, “No, no no. I couldn’t ask you to do that. I couldn’t accept it. I’m already exceeding my limit by living with Harry when no one will let me pay for anything. It makes me feel terrible.”

“We want to though. You’re like our daughter.”

“Except, I’m dating your son and it just makes me feel like I’m mooching off of you.”

“You know that if you weren’t together, we would still want this.”

I sigh and take another sip of tea. “I know, but I really can’t. I’m sorry.”

She nods and sips her drink as well. “Well, let me go change and we’ll get started. You start the stuffing so we can put it in the turkey, I’ll be back love.”

I nodded at her and grabbed all the spices, liquids and breadcrumbs from the pantry and began mixing together the stuffing. They had let me do this for years, my mom and Anne. They let me because I could use my hands to make it, and when you’re little what kid wouldn’t want to use their hands? It was messy and I loved it then, now I know the recipe by heart. I had never actually gotten the chance to make anything else besides the stuff and I was excited.

Anne walked in 5 minutes later with some sweats and a t-shirt on as well. She took the turkey and rubbed a mixture of spices over it and reached in the back of the turkey to take out the nasty stuff no one liked eating, except my mother. “You think they’ll go to waste this year if I keep them?” Anne laughed a bit as she asked.

‘Yea, most likely.” I nodded and went back to mixing the stuffing, making it mushy between my fingers.

We stuffed it into the turkey, and it was freezing. Anne and I would laugh as we switched off because it was too cold in there for use to handle.

When we finally got the turkey into the oven, we began making breakfast for everyone. We made a cinnamon roll casserole, cutting up pieces of dough and putting it in the pan. Anne made the cinnamon and sugar mix, pouring it all over the dough along with some butter. It was sure to wake everyone up. Which they would have to soon anyway because the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade was going to start soon.

We continued in the kitchen, sipping our tea, discussing what we were going to have while the breakfast cooked when we heard the first footsteps.

“Something smells exceptional.” I widened my eyes, not expecting a female voice. Anne looked at me and smiled at my shock when I saw my favorite person walk in.

“GEMMA!? I didn’t know you were here!” I hoped from the counter and walked over to her, she was smiling back at me lazily when I went to hug her.

“I got here early this morning! I missed you!” She hugged me back tightly as we swayed and giggled in the kitchen.

“I missed you more!” I pulled away and grabbed her hair between my fingers. “Pastels? What influenced this? It looks so good on you, you look so good!” I looked her up and down, noticing how healthy she looked and more beautiful than ever.

“My friend, Lou. She did it for me, I love it. I wanted to try something different, that’s all.”

“Wow. I seriously can’t believe this.” I hugged her again. “It’s so good to see you.”

“You know what I can’t believe? You’re with my baby brother.” She laughs, pulling me away to look at me.

“You know what I can’t believe? How loud you are so early in the morning.” Harry walked into the kitchen in the pajama pants he hates again, but still shirtless. His voice is raspy, laced with sleep, and he rubs his eyes with his palms. “God I didn’t miss this.” He walks further into the kitchen and kisses his mother on the cheek. “Morning mom.” She smiles at him then walks over to Gemma and I. He leaves a small kiss on her forehead as he wraps and arm around shoulders. “Sis.” Then he looks at me, and I don’t know how he does it, but it makes me feel like I am the only person in the world when he looks at me like it. He removes his arm from Gemma and takes the step towards me, placing a hand on my side and looking me in the eye with a smile on his face.

I close my eyes as he pecks my lips. “Good morning, baby. You look beautiful.” I opened my eyes to his cheeky grin before he squeezed my side with his hand.

“Good morning.” I whispered to him, pushing some of his hair out of his face.

“Oh my God, he is so whipped, mum.” I hear Gemma whisper.

“Don’t I know it.” She whispers back and Harry rolls his eyes.

“I knew he was hung up over her before, but damn.”

“Gemma, shut up.” He looked at her and moved away from me to pour himself some tea. I bit back my smile as he stared intensely at his cup.

“Shut up? Harry you’ve lost your touch.”

“You want something that will be more painful?” he asks her, walking over to stand by me as Anne turns around to mix the glaze for the cinnamon rolls. “How about a poke in the eye?”

“Resorting to violence, Harry?”

“I’m a lover not a fighter.” He tells her, taking a sip of his coffee.

“Yea, and I bet Kelly knows that.” She smirks at him. My head shoots up and I feel the blood rushing to my face before I breathe and put my head down into my hand.

“God, it is going to be such a long day.” I mutter to myself.

Notes