Fear

Come on Rose,just open your eyes.your gonna wake up in your room.your gonna go downstairs and find your mother and father in the kitchen.and your gonna tell them about your stupid dream and your gonna laugh it off.
just open them.everything will be fine.
i opened my eyes and i was met with this bright light.i had to put my hand over my eyes to shield them from it.suddenly i felt this pain all over my head.everything was buzzing.i felt a pair of hand on my shoulder trying to lay me down back on the bed.i heard a voice which i presume belonged to a woman but it wasn't clear for me.my eyes were beginning to adjust to the light and i could make out the room i was in.
it was a hospital room.
it was real.
their gone.
i started to breath unnaturally fast and i started to cry too,so in result i couldn't breath correctly.by now i could make out everything and i saw the woman which i think was a nurse yell and push a button next to the bed.another nurse and a guy who i think was the doctor came running in.the doctor came up to me and said:
"Rose,look at me......,look at me."
i couldn't breath and i was panicking more.i clutched the bed sheets with one hand and with the other i grabbed the doctors arm.i tried to say:
"i-i.....C-can't....."
the doctor cut me off by saying:
"don't talk,look at me rose,i need you to breath with me ok,in and out?i need you to do that for me"
i nodded my head.he then said:
"In...."
and breathed in.
i tried to copy his action's but it didn't work very well for me.another time he said:
"Rose,Breath In...."
i tried another time,thankfully this time i was able to breath.he smiled at me and let go of the breath he was holding and said:
"Good Rose,now breath out"
i did and i could finally breath better.once again he said:
"your doing a great job Rose,again breath in..."
we did this a couple of times until i could breath myself.only then i let go of his arm,poor guy i can bet he has a bruise on it now.
i laid down on the bed with the help of the nurse,and the doctor said:
"Rose,i'm gonna give you a shot to calm you down a little ok?you just had a panic attack,and only with this i can be sure that it'll be your last one for a while."
i nodded my head not wanting to talk.panic attack's are not fun,believe me.i still was crying,i looked around and saw the other nurse trying to prepare the shot.the doctor asked the first nurse:
"Penelope can you please bring my check up stuff,i was in kind of a hurry to get here and i forgot them"
Penelope,if that's what her name is,said:
"of course Mr.Sheeran "
My breathing was back to normal now,but i still was crying.Thinking about them made it only worst.by now i was full on sobbing.
The doctor gave me my shot and the second nurse who i don't know the name of still,was rubbing my back trying to calm me.a couple of minutes after the shot,My crying got to normal and i felt myself getting kind of sleepy.i was still crying but not like before,only tears.Penelope came back in to the room and gave the doctor his Stethoscope and some other things i didn't make out.the doctor walked up to me and said:
"ok Rose,i'm gonna do a check up to make sure your ok,My names Edward Sheeran.You can call me Ed or Edward or Dr.sheeran,which ever your comfortable with."
i didn't answer.i just kept looking forward.i heard Ed sigh and he said:
"ok,let's start."
after i was done with my check up,Ed told the other nurses:
"Penelope,Sarah can you please give us a moment?"
they both nodded and left the room.Ed grabbed a chair and sat down next to me,he said:
"Rose,I know this is a hard time for you,believe me i know...."
he got quiet after that,like he remembered something.when he looked up i saw tears in his eyes, he continued:
"I lost my Wife and daughter in a car accident.i know how you feel and believe me when i say the best thing to do is Move on with your life.i know you love your parents and their your family,but i lost my family too and i know if you keep mourning over them it'll only get worse and before you know it a large amount of your life has passed and your still in the same place you were before all of this."
i didn't say anything.he continued:
"Rose,you have a life ahead of yourself.don't let it go to waste.i know your parent's wouldn't want you to."
"well their not here now are they?"
i was shocked that i even said anything,i could tell he was too,i guess we both didn't think i would say anything.he said:
"Rose,this is a hard time for you,i'm not going to say anything anymore.just please think about the things i told you"
he got up to go out of the room.just as he was about to close the door i asked the thing that was on my mind the whole time:
"why do you care?"
he stopped,he took a moment and said:
"because i cant stand to see others making the same mistakes as me"
i didn't say anything anymore and he went outside.moments later i heard a knock on the door and the door opened.a woman in a sharp black suit came in.where do they find these people?
she smiled at me and said:
"how are you rose?"
if i could,i would gave her a piece of my mind because of even asking me that question in a situation like this.but i couldn't,so i didn't.
she came forward and sat on where Dr.sheeran sat before her in front of me.she said:
"look rose,i know this is the last thing on your mind right now,but i need to do this.your still under the legal age and you still need a caretaker,a protector.your birthdate is on 27th november am i correct?"
i didn't answer again.is this woman really serious?couldn't she wait until a few days after this?she has to this half an hour after i wake up?while i'm in the hospital?these people have issues.
"i'll take that as a yes.well,your parents didn't choose a god mother nor a god father for you.well non that we are aware of.and your Grand mother Petunia storm,will be your protector from now on.she's actually outside of your room right now.we called her while you were....sleep.well i thought i should know,you'll be moving with her to London."
i didn't say anything.if i was my normal self i would be fighting with her or shouting at her that i'm not moving out of the city i lived my whole life in.but the Dr's voice was in my head.i don't know why but there was something in his voice that made me trust him.maybe it was the hurt,maybe it was something else. 'you need to move on'
so i thought that maybe moving out of this town,where every single place reminds me of them,would help me move on.
the woman was saying some other things but i didn't pay attention to them,lost in my own thought's.but eventually she stood up and said:
"well,i'm gonna go get your grand mother"
she walked out.and a few moments later the door opened and finally some one i wanted to see stood in the door way.i sobbed:
"Granny"
she was crying too,i could tell by her eyes,who wouldn't?she just lost her only daughter and son in law.she said:
"oh my god,Rose,thank god your alright"
i jumped off the bed and ran towards her i hugged her like my life depended on it.i don't know how long we were standing like that.after a while,i let go of her and she tucked some pieces of my hair behind my ear.i told her:
"i can't granny,i just can't,i want them here.i want them here.i miss them.why did they leave?!they promised me they're going to come back.they never break their promises granny.please..."
"Rose,i'm so sorry.we'll both make it through.you and me.i promise you."
she hugged me again and i heard her whisper in to my hair:
"i promise you,your never going to get hurt again.i'll protect you."

Notes

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Anoosha