Raquel POV

We all entered back into the office, and when we did i sensed a change in Harry. Something about his aura shifted. I remember exactly what i wrote in that letter, if we were meant to be then i would see him again. but now i was left wondering does he think I'm just going to jump into a relationship with him. I don't think I'm ready. I mean everyday I've been getting better since Charlie and that whole incident but i was still hurt i was still pre mature to the whole harry situation. After he stopped texting and calling me i haven't really thought about him much. Of coarse i remembered him and cherished all of our memories. But i threw myself into work,i was a fast moving train and no one was going to stop me. But the second our eyes met, some of those feelings washed away and all the memories flooded my mind. When we first met, when he saved me, fighting in the snow cuddling on the couch. All of it came back. I didn't trust myself around him , I had to steer clear of him for now. I couldn't throw everything away. No matter how hard it would be i had to fight these feelings I had for him. The meeting resumed, and we went over all the details and set a meeting for the following week. I tried to focus during the meeting, i had to impress my boss but it was pretty hard when i felt Harry's eyes on me during the whole meeting. Why was he doing this to me. When the meeting ending, I saw Harry trying to get my attention from the corner of my eye, but i pretended not to notice. As much as i wanted to talk to him i didn't trust myself around him. But as much as i tried to avoid him there were so many questions i wanted to ask him. Like Why exactly did he not tell me that he was part of One Direction? How did i even realize that he wasn't apart of one direction, I've seen their picture, El showed it to me when I asked her about Louis. I would have to ask El what she knew about Harry, when we meet up tonight. We were going to grab drinks and dinner. I didn't want to google him. Seeing how I understand and see how the public relations system runs, i didn't trust the internet or the tabloids with their bullshit stories.

" Hey Kelly " I heard a deep voice call my name. It was him saying my nickname, I'm surprise i didn't fall right in front of him. Those eyes, his voice, it made me feel weak. The only other person that made me feel weak was Charlie, but he made me feel weak in a whole different way. How did I not notice that Harry was standing right in front of me. Oh yeah because i was deep in thought ironically about him. Now he was looking into my eyes, confused as to why I didn't respond to him yet. But i couldn't get into a conversation with him now. Not when I was feeling like this.Confused. Ugh why did he leave me in this state. I was always so sure of myself.. but he left me in a completely opposite state, questioning myself asking myself maybe it is a sign from the universe maybe we were meant to be, maybe i shouldn't be avoiding him. But then my mom's voice floated into my thoughts reminding me that I could be any one I wanted to be and that there was no limits on my life, as long as i remained focused, and around Harry I wouldn't be focused and i knew that. Oh how i wish she was with me now, I needed my mom now, i needed her reassurance. She was visiting soon but that would be in two months, and trust me i was counting down.

" Umm Hi Harry, haven't seen you in a while i would love to catch up, but i need to finish working but I'll see you next week yeah?" I finally spit it, oh shit i realized it was going to be a lot harder to avoid him to now, he was now my client, i would be working with him and his band for a while.

"oh okay, sure but we will catch up, I won't forget about that," Harry said, he sounded a bit disappointed that i wasn't stopping to talk to him now. But i did hear the sureness in his voice that we would in fact meet up later.

" Okay Harry gotta run." I lied I had nowhere to go, but trust me I ran out of that room, into the ladies room, i was sure he wouldn't follow me in there. So after about twenty minutes i came out of my hiding spot. It was four thirty now, in half hour i would be out so i texted El.

" Hey, El i will be at yours in about forty five minutes."

"Okay miss you! we have a lot to catch up on missy…. see ya soon!" She answered instantly

Oh shit, she said we have a lot to talk about did she know, did Harry tell Louis and did Louis tell El, i mean i was going to tell El tonight anyways but I didn't want her to find out from anyone else, i wanted to tell her. The next thirty minutes flew by, I was too consumed by thought to realize the clock was ticking down. Before I knew it i was stepping on the train on my way to El's. I couldn't help but smile to myself as I got on the train, all I could think about was Harry. I tried to block out my thoughts of Harry and the only way I knew how to do that was through work and music, so I put my headphones in my ears and pressed play. " Demons," by Imagine Dragons started to fill my ears. I closed my eyes and just listened to the lyrics. I was always one of those people who needed to understand the lyrics in order to listen to the song. I liked to listen to the lyrics and see were the singer was coming from, what their life was like, even though some of the songs weren't written in their point of view, but thats why i refused to listen to pop music, it was all bullshit. All teenagers signing about life, please you like thirteen tell me about your life experience. Sorry I didn't buy into that. I listened to a few more songs, until my stop came. It was dark outside, but I still walked the three blocks to El's house. I wasn't afraid to walk at night, even what after almost happened to me in Cheshire, I tried not to let fear rule my life, but sometimes it managed to sneak in. But right now the thing i was most afraid of was Him and his green eyes and the way he made me feel. Why did a boy have such an affect n my life, even when I barely knew him, and i left once already, he managed to sneak his way back in. Now I was outside El's doors, pushing all of thoughts away and i managed to ring the doorbell. A few seconds later, El's door swung open and before I knew it I was engulfed in a hug. I missed her so much, since i have been working like crazy i haven't seen her in forever. I missed her craziness and tonight i just wanted to get drunk, dance have a good time and tell her all my problems. I couldn't only tell my mom and sarah, i had to tell someone who was next to me, someone who could actually see the way Harry has affected me.

"Raaaqueeelll i missed you so much babe!!!!" El screamed as she pulled out of the hug

" Heyy babe I've missed you too!"

" come inside, I'm almost done getting ready you can change and well go"

" okay i have a lot to tell you tonight, but i need a drink in me before i can reveal all," I told her while stepping inside.

" okay so i was thinking first we can grab something to eat at a pub , get a little tipsy and then head to a club sound good?" El asked me

" sounds perfect."

For the next hour we just got ready, I changed into red pants that made my butt look a little bigger than it actually was, with a black open back top and black pumps. I left my hair in its natural waves and applied minimal make up to emphasize the red lipstick i put on. I didn't really like getting so dressed up when i went out. I dressed up enough to look good and feel decent. My mom always told me it didn't take much for me to look good, i didn't really believe her but people seemed to agree. I mean i had confidence and so did El she was like me she never got really dressed up when we went out and thats why i loved her. She never felt as if i was outshining her and i felt the same way about her. We both just found a balance. I mean we both had enough confidence not to put on the skimpiest thing to feel thats how we are going to get attention. And that was a good thing because i hated attention anyways. Eleanor also hated attention, I knew she got it a lot because she was dating Louis and she complained to me how it can get annoying, that even when they weren't hanging out the paparazzi and fans still followed her. At first she thought it was cute, and it would eventually stopped but it never did. It wasn't crazy or anything but when someone just wants their privacy it can be annoying. I totally understood where she was coming from, I mean i didn't really get attention like that, but even when i felt people staring at me i got nervous. Eleanor came out in black leather leggings a floral spaghetti strap top, and black wedges, her hair in curls and also minimal makeup and her face. See even when she barely tried to look good she still managed to look hot. Since it was seven we just talked a bit and watched some television for the next hour and a half. I didn't tell her about Harry yet, i needed alcohol before i can do that, so we just caught up, we talked about school about our upcoming break and work. I tried to avoid the topic of work because then she would bring up Louis and then that would be the only way i can bring up Harry and i wasn't quite ready for that. It was nine o'clock now and Eleanor decided it was time to leave, so we hopped in her car, and she drove to our usual bar. It was the perfect little bar that we stumbled into one day, it was never to crowded, it was always the right amount of people. And everyone at the pub was really friendly, we knew almost everyone that were regulars there. It was a twenty minute drive to the var but there seemed to be traffic tonight so it took a half hour to get there. During the car ride, I plugged in my iPod and started to scream all the lyrics to " Listzomania" by Phoenix. El only chimed in during the chorus she didn't really know the words, she didn't really listen to all the same songs as me but we found a common ground. We arrived at the bar by nine thirty, and once we got inside we were greeted by Peter, he was twenty five and he worked at the pub. We always sat in his area and hung out with me while we ate and drank, we were friendly with him and it helped that he looked exactly like Chace Crawford, so it was okay when a little friendly flirting went on between us. Five minutes after we sat down we ordered food, we both got veggie burgers with fries on the side, it was a good balance for us, I mean when you eat a veggie burger you think of that as healthy so its okay to eat the fries. Plus I'm a vegetarian, and i enjoyed fake burgers much better than salads. It was ten o'clock now and i had a beer and a half, a shot and veggie burger inside my stomach, i was still working on my fries.

" okay El so now I'm going to tell you what happened to me three months ago, so bear with me ," i giggled, i should be tipsy yet, i barely drank anything, it was probably the nerves

" shoot " Eleanor responded

" so it all happened when i took the wrong train, well i sat next to a very kind lad, and well i told him the type of girl i was, and how i didn't want a boyfriend, oh and by the way this is after i saw charlie and well i convinced myself men were the plague. Well basically he followed to make sure i would be safe in Cheshire, and i didn't know he was following me and i was attacked by a bum." Eleanor's mouth was wide open, and i saw the fear in her eyes." no El don't worry well he saved me and he convinced me to stay the weekend at his families home, we were followed on the way home, and i got a bit flustered, but when we got to his family home, i had the best time. we really bonded and his family was so sweet, his mom and sister were really nice and understanding. Well i started to bond with him and i can feel myself forming feelings for him and i got scared i couldn't let a boy intrude on my life like before, I needed to make my dreams come true first. So i got scared and well i left. But today i bumped into him today and all those feelings returned and now I'm unsure, i mean everything made sense, why we were being followed. But I'm not sure i want to be with hi, he has a bit of a reputation and thats why i need your advice, see you know who it is." El's gaze flickered away from mine and shifted towards the door. I followed it, i was utterly shocked.

"and guess what he just walked in. "

Notes

hey guys wow almsot at 5000 views really thank you so much for reading/ commenting/ voting/ and suscribing my rating went up to a 9.7!! thanks so much so ive been excpering a little bit of wirtters block and im sorry for that before it was greta the story was just flowing hopefully that feeling will return but thanks so much and please keep:
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