Isabelle’s P.O.V

Harry’s hand began moving down my body. My breathing hitched in my throat. This was really happening, this was really happening. I had to keep repeating the words over and over in my head. We weren’t going to do anything big, nothing full-out, but we would finally begin with our steps, our process. This was really happening.

I was scared. No one had touched me like this in a long time. But I was also excited. Harry’s touch excited me. He loved me and he was gentle and he would caress me like I was the most valuable thing in the world. I was ready for this. Being fearless doesn’t mean to have no fear. It’s about being scared shitless but doing something anyways.

Just then, there was a knock at the door. “Isabelle?” came Eleanor’s timid voice from the hall. Harry cursed quietly and climbed off of me. I shot him a wan look, feeling slightly disappointed but nowhere near as disappointed as he must’ve been feeling. I went to answer the door. I opened it and slipped outside into the hallway, closing it behind me.

“Is everything alright?” El asked, “I heard you guys were having some problems.”

That surprised me. I didn’t know we were having problems. Problems? Why was this first that I’d been hearing of this? My mind reeled. Who had told Eleanor that we’d been having problems? Was it Harry?

“Who told you that?” I asked, slightly breathless. Eleanor said, “Harry.”

Oh God…it was.

Harry had told El we’d been having problems? Was this a mixed signal that I should be looking into? Was it Harry’s way of hinting that we weren’t working out, that we’d be done soon enough? My breathing quickened as I imagined all of the ways that he’d try to break it off with me.

“We’re not having problems,” I said softly, trying to keep myself from snapping at El, “Everything is fine, thanks.” El nodded, looking like she wanted to say more, but she seemed to witness my composure collapsing, because she clamped her jaw shut, turned on her heel, and walked back down the hallway, ducking into Louis’ room.

That left me to my own devices. I stood there, absolutely shocked. Why would Harry tell her that we were having problems? Of all words to use too, he has to go ahead and say problems. How was I going to deal with this?

I stormed back inside. Harry was on the bed, waiting for me, smirking lightly. He was probably ready to finish what we’d started, but I threw up my hands, stalking over to him. “Why the hell would you tell Eleanor that we were having problems?” I shouted at him, not bothering to be quiet. They were already awake anyways.

Harry’s eyes widened and I guessed that he hadn’t been expecting me to say that. I put my hands on my hips, waiting for an answer, absolutely seething. We weren’t having problems; at least, I thought we weren’t.

“I didn’t mean for it to come out that way!” Harry defended himself, standing up off the bed, readying himself for anything I could possibly throw at him. He looked so handsome right now, his hair sticking up, only wearing sweatpants, his feet and chest naked. I wanted to stand there for the rest of the night and just soak him all in, but this was far more important.

“I don’t care Harry!” I yelled, “We’re not having trouble, and you know it! Think before you speak!” Harry shook his head, clenching his jaw.

“Maybe we are!” he bellowed back, finally heating up. I rolled my eyes as he continued, “Maybe you just don’t see it! Because you’re so fucking blind! Maybe I’m miserable being around you! Have you ever considered that Isabelle?”

As soon as the words left his lips, my eyes watered, and my hand flew to my mouth. No. This couldn’t be happening. This was everything I’d ever feared since I’d begun dating Harry, turned into a reality.

“You don’t mean that,” I whispered, shaking my head, trying harder to persuade myself than to persuade him. He ran a hand through his hair, finally starting to simmer down. I could tell that he felt bad about saying that, but he’d said it. He’d said it, so he must’ve meant it.

“Fuck you,” I whispered, and I turned on my heel, walking out of the room. Harry called out after me, but I was so done with this. I just needed time to cool down, and so did he. I ran downstairs and decided to sleep on the couch for the rest of the night.

Things would be better in the morning. We would apologise to each other, because no way in hell could we stay mad at each other. But first, we had to collect our thoughts and compose ourselves before the next terrible thing came out of one of our mouths and the other ended up leaving. This was how things worked. Harry was so lucky that I could read this far into a situation, because I would’ve been gone by now if I couldn’t.

“Things will be fine,” I breathed to myself, collapsing onto the couch and pulling a pillow to my chest, hugging it tightly. The house was eerily quiet now, no more footsteps, no more screaming, which only made Harry’s last words to me echo and ring in my ears. My eyes drooped but I forced myself to stay awake.

I lay my head down on the sofa’s arm, curling into a little ball and trying to swallow the lump in my throat. I wasn’t crying. Usually I cried in these kinds of situations, but I felt oddly comforted by the fact that we would still be together after tonight. We’d still see each other, we’d still technically be boyfriend and girlfriend, and we were just experiencing a rough patch right now. I was tired, so tired.

Maybe Harry was right. Maybe we were having problems.

I just lay there for God knows how long, pondering how things would play out tomorrow.

Every so often, Harry would swear from upstairs, and I literally had to grip the couch to stop myself from running back to him. We needed to cool down, we needed to cool down. Everything would be fine tomorrow, but if I saw him now, we would only restart the cycle.

“I love you Harry,” I breathed, closing my eyes, and finally letting sleep overtake me.

***

We were in the car, driving back from our second meeting with Dr. Grey.

Louis had come downstairs, shrieking at the mess that Harry had left on the kitchen floor. El found me sleeping on the couch, and had woken me up, asking if I was alright. I’d simply shrugged and mumbled a yes. She’d pursed her lips, looking like she’d wanted to press the subject, but that was so not a good idea right now. I still couldn’t believe she was pregnant.

Eager to change the subject, I’d diverted my attention to the fact that she was only two weeks along, and she’d happily smiled and forgotten all about my pessimistic state. We’d chatted about that for a bit until Harry walked downstairs, with slight bags under his eyes. His face was pale, and he shuffled about, completely lacking energy.

Louis had scolded him for the huge mess he’d made, and he’d just stood there and taken it, his eyes half-closed. I felt terrible, but of course, I wouldn’t admit that to him.

Neither of us had spoken to each other since last night. We only communicated with our eyes, knowing when it had been time to leave the house and leave the therapist’s office. Dr. Grey had seemed to notice that we were on edge, and she’d invited us both in, as she had promised last week. We’d sat as far away from each other as possible. All throughout the session, I could see Harry looking at me from the corner of his eye, but I forced myself to remain emotionless. We didn’t really talk. It was just Dr. Grey, rambling on and on about the qualities a good couple should have.

Honesty. Well, we could check that off of our list, because there was no way in hell we would ever master that. Compassion. Nope, definitely not. Empathy. This was a losing battle. Why hadn’t we broken up yet? I couldn’t help but to wonder if Harry was thinking the same things.
I peered at the clock. It was noon. When we got home, I’d take a nice, long shower and hopefully drown my sorrows in shampoo. Harry hadn’t spoken, I hadn’t spoken, and I could finally feel the tears that hadn’t made an appearance last night coming on. I hadn’t expected us to be going this long with talking.

We pulled up to Harry’s house, ducking inside before anyone could catch a glimpse of us. As soon as Harry shut the door, I knew that El and Lou were out, the absence of their shoes being my lead. Without another word, I walked upstairs and into Harry’s bedroom, closing the door and stripping down. I pulled off my top angrily and once I was bare, walked into the attached bathroom, not bothering to close the door. I pulled my hair out of its ponytail and opened the shower, listening to the water hit the tiles. Once it was warm enough, I stepped in.

Why couldn’t he just apologise? I wondered angrily as I reached for the shampoo. It was his fault. God, maybe if he just wasn’t so fucking stubborn all the time, we could get somewhere. His words kept on playing over it my head. Maybe I’m miserable being around you…

I was crying. I didn’t notice at first, my tears mixing in with the shower water, but when I sniffled, I knew that I was. Harry was just so stupid. So handsome, so mind-bogglingly stupid. Why did I want to kiss him even when I was mad at him? It made absolutely no sense.

But I wanted to. God, I wanted to. I had been serious last night when I’d said that I’d wanted him to take the first step. It had been long enough, and I knew that he was sexually frustrated. I wanted to, because if I didn’t, I didn’t know when I’d finally agree again. It was the perfect time, the perfect setting, with the perfect person. Or at least I’d thought so.
I was so lost in thought that I didn’t hear anyone come upstairs, or footsteps approaching.

Suddenly, the shower curtain was ripped back, and I shrieked, throwing my naked body up against the tiled wall, trying to conceal myself. A bit of shampoo trailed down my back, thanks to my foamy hair.

Harry was standing there, dressed in a gray hoodie and black skinny jeans, frowning at me.

“What the fuck are you doing?” I spat, peering over my bare shoulder, my front still up against the wall. Harry took in my naked body for a moment before shaking his head and reaching for the hem of his hoodie, pulling it off. His jeans followed. Soon, he was completely bare. I think I succeeded at not ogling him…I think.

“Hello?” I asked, sounding annoyed. I turned away from his nakedness, pressing my forehead against the white tiled wall, not wanting him to think I was enjoying this. Because I wasn’t—ish.

In response, I felt him step into the small tiled stall. I tried to creep as far away from him as possible, trying to hide myself, but he wouldn’t have it. “Come on,” he said gruffly, “We have to see each other nude sometime. How else are we going to do this?”

“Just go away,” I hissed, peering over my shoulder again and glaring at him through my eyelashes. He chuckled, “No way. You have a cute arse.”

I rolled my eyes and turned away, blushing beet red. This was not how I imagined my Sunday afternoon.

“Seriously,” I whisper-screamed at him. He leaned in, grinning, “Why are you whispering?” he whispered, mimicking me, “There’s no one here except for us.”

I groaned and pressed myself even further into the wall, trying to put as much distance between us as possible. I’ll admit though; this was turning me on. Here we were, both of us completely naked, in the small tiled stall that was the shower. Stop it Isabelle.

“You know,” Harry spoke up from behind me, and I squeezed my eyes shut, “You look like you’re trying pretty hard to grind up against that wall. Why would you want the wall when I’m right here?” Why was he so irresistible? It really drove me insane.

“Please,” I mumbled, and I guess he sense how nervous I was, because he took a step closer, reaching out pushing away some of my soapy hair. With a respectable distance still in between us, he leaned down and kissed my shoulder, and I shivered.

“I love you Belle,” he told me sincerely, his tone turning serious, “Let me see you.” He reached even further to grip my wrist lightly, prodding me to turn around.

So I did.

His eyes raked down my body, and I fought the urge to cross my arms over myself. I had the ugliest body in the world, no figure, no big, curvy hips that all the boys loved. My shoulders were slightly more prominent than the average girls, I was short, didn’t have a huge bust like other women. I was average, maybe even less.

His eyes came back up to gaze into my own. At first, I thought that he would push me away, call me disgusting, and leave me alone with the water running down my pathetic little body.

Instead, his eyes gleamed and he broke into a huge, boyish grin, “You’re beautiful.”

I couldn’t help it; I laughed. He quickly joined me, and while I laughed, I managed to take him all in. His hair was wet by now, matted down against his forehead. I reached up and pushed it way, letting it stick straight up. His laughs were cut off abruptly.

“You okay?” I asked, moving my gaze back to his eyes, where I gasped. His eyes were a dark, forest green, filled with lust. His hands quickly came to rest on my hips, stroking up and down along the sides of my nude body. I closed my eyes and shivered.

“I love you,” Harry whispered, leaning down and pressing his lips to mine. I was left breathless and wanting more when he pulled back. I wound my arms around his neck, tugging him closer to me, our bodies finally brushing. He made a throaty sound and gripped my hips tightly, yanking me to him and slamming out bodies together, a breathless moan escaping my lips. He set his chin on my shoulder, and I did the same to him.

“Please make me feel good,” I whispered, closing my eyes while the warm shower water rained down on us. It wet his back, and I took great care to notice how each little droplet formed and then rolled down his bare shoulder.

“I will,” he mumbled, “I will.”

For a few moments, we just stood there, letting the water rain down on us, and I loved the feeling of our bodies gliding effortlessly against one another. Finally, Harry pulled back, gripping my arms, and giving me a stern look

“Are you sure you want this?” he asked me, biting nervously on his lip. I smiled tenderly at him, and cupped his cheek, bringing his face down to meet mine, our lips brushing when I spoke, “Positive.”

He grinned childishly at me and pressed his mouth to mine playfully. I wrapped my arms around his neck slowly as his fingers found their way to my hips. He pushed me up against the wall gently and I smiled widely against his mouth, pushing my soppy hair out of the way.

We were just beginning to take things to the neck level when Harry pulled back again, “You’re sure?” he asked in a whisper.

I threw my head back against the tiled wall and laughed, closing my eyes so that water wouldn’t get in, “Harry,” I giggled, blushing madly, “Just touch me. Please.”

He eventually figured that I was serious and he smiled again, diving back in, kissing me tenderly. Slowly, one of his hands came up to cup my breast. I tried to control my gasp, but it came out anyways. This was the first time I’d been lovingly caressed, not groped forcefully. And I liked it…a lot.

His thumb slowly brushed along the planes of my breast, and I was scared that he’d be able to feel just how fast my heart was beating. Eventually, his fingers skimmed over my nipple, which had become an erect pink nub, and I moaned loudly into his mouth. We broke apart for air, and he bent his head to start peppering kisses along my jawline, leaving me panting already. I felt his erect member pressing into my upper thigh, dangerously close to my area. I could feel myself becoming wet.

“I love you,” Harry whispered in my ear, “I love you so much, baby. Me and you.”

“Of course,” I breathed, smiling faintly as the water hit my hair. One of his hands was holding my body protectively against his, fingers splayed out on the small of my back, while the other flicked at my nipple lightly, making me shudder. He wasn’t forceful, he was light, playful, teasing, and I wanted more.

“More,” I whined, and I felt his body rumbled with a chuckle, “If you say so.”

He then ducked his head, and a second later, I felt a pair of warm lips encase my nipple. I gasped; the sensation felt so good. His tongue swirled around it for a moment before switching to the other breast and giving it the same pampered treatment. He was fully hard by now, and I bit my lip, not being able to shake the feeling of him against my leg.

“Mm,” I mumbled, closing my eyes while he spoiled my breasts. Finally, he brought his face back up so that his eyes could meet mine. His fingers drew small circles on my back, slowly slipping lower, “I’m going to touch you down here, okay?” he asked, gazing at me through his eyelashes. I nodded surely, not bothering to hesitate.

But he did.

Thinking quickly, I wrapped my arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. I buried my face into the crook of his neck. “I trust you,” I mumbled, and he sighed. When I pulled back, I felt his fingers slide down my stomach, and for the first time, he touched me.

His fingers were warm, compliments of the water, and they slid along my core effortlessly. I made a strangled sound when the pad of his thumb found my clit and he began to rub circles around it, teasing me. He just looked down and smiled bashfully, and I laughed at how awkward yet completely comfortable this situation was.

His fingers danced along my slit, making me moan, and he leaned down to resume kissing my jawline and my neck, his thumb and forefinger now pinching my clit lightly. “I love you,” he breathed against my collarbone, “I love you, I love you, and I love you.”

I hummed in response, my hands grabbing fistfuls of his soaking wet hair, pressing his face harder into my neck, needing something to grip. The combination of the warm water hitting us and his fingers on me had me teetering on the edge. He sped up his movements a bit, swirling his thumb around my clit forcefully, and I gasped for air, closing my eyes.

Just then, his fingers entered me.

My eyes shot open. I made a squeaking noise, and he looked up at me. The feeling was quite uncomfortable, and I felt him stretching me. He silenced my whimpers with a kiss. “I know baby,” he whispered, pressing his forehead to mine, “But it will feel better, okay?”

I nodded quickly, closing my eyes. Harry stopped moving his fingers inside me, which only made it hurt more. “Move,” I prodded him quietly, and I opened my eyes to meet his. He nodded curtly, slowly beginning to pump his fingers in and out. I scrunched up my face for the first few pumps, but finally, the discomfort seemed to ease a bit. It slowly turned into pleasure, but the minor sting was still there. I hoped that it would go away soon.

“Faster,” I gasped, and he grinned at me, pressing his mouth to mine. I gripped his shoulders for dear life as he fingered me at a lightning pace. Each time, his fingers curled upwards, hitting a spot I didn’t know existed. It felt really good; I could sense that I was close.

Almost as if it had been triggered by the thought, I felt a burning sensation in the pit of my stomach. My legs trembled and Harry gripped me to keep me upright. As my climax overtook me, I shuddered, closing my eyes and relishing the feel of Harry’s lips on mine. I released my juices onto his hands, and after a few moments, I finally regained my senses, opening my eyes and blinking rapidly.

When I did, I saw Harry bring his fingers to his lips and lick them clean.

I smiled weakly at him, pulling him in for an embrace. He nuzzled his face in my neck, “That was incredible,” he whispered, and I sighed, kissing the side of his throat lightly.

“Now,” he said, “Let me wash you and worship your body like the angel that you are.”
He reached for the soap, but I smiled lightly and plucked it out of his hand, putting it back. He looked at me confused, but I just backed him up against the wall lightly, reaching for his erect member and dancing my fingers along it teasingly. He stiffened, and I giggled.

“No,” I said, pressing a kiss to his lips, “Payback.”

Notes

This was dirty, sorry XD

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