Isabelle’s P.O.V

I rang the doorbell, taking a deep breath. What would I say? Oh, hey Kate. So, I just found out that my boyfriend doesn’t love me, and I left him at his mother’s house and just possibly ruined our relationship for good. Yep, it’s great to be back.

My eyes began to water, but I quickly blinked rapidly, not wanting my sister to see how weak I was. I could do this. It wasn’t like I was in love with my boyfriend or anything. Oh, wait, I totally was.

The door opened, and Kate appeared in the threshold, still only dressed in her pajamas and her robe. Shortly after I’d run away from Harry, I’d made my way to the nearest bus stop and caught the nine o’clock a.m bus. It had only taken a few hours to get back to London, but it had felt like so much longer, being without Harry.

“Belle?” Kate blurted, and with that single word, my composure completely collapsed. I broke down into fast-flowing tears and let go of my baggage, collapsing into her arms miserably.

She caught me, surprised, and held me up at arm’s length, studying my face, “Baby,” she whispered, “What happened?”

“K—Kate,” I stammered, tears streaming down the sides of my face. I didn’t bother wiping them away. I’d gone completely makeup-less, and I was just ready to bury my face into my pillow and sob. It’s what I’d been waiting to do. “Kate,” I said again, trying to stop my hiccups from intruding too much into my speech, “Kate, it was horrible. T-there’s just so much wrong. I can’t do this.”

Kate nodded soundlessly and reached for my suitcase, tugging it inside and closing the door. She took my arm and led me upstairs to my bedroom, not trying to pry or scoop. That’s what I loved about my sister. She will wait until you’re ready to talk about it, and she won’t try to rush you, and at that moment, I was extremely grateful for her.

I fell onto my bed and slid under the covers hastily, finally sinking into my pillow, crying and screaming, letting it muffle the loud noises. Kate just sat down beside me silently and rubbed my back soothingly. “Kate,” I whimpered, “I miss her so much.”

“Miss who, babe?” Kate asked softly, and I cried harder. “I miss mom. I wish she was here. She—she always knows what t-to say.” Kate shushed me gently and continued to rub my back, “It’s okay baby,” she whispered gently, “I’ll be here for you. I’ll be your mum now. Shh….”

I kept on crying, the tears seeming unending. I wondered if I would ever dry out, and I highly doubted it. If only Harry knew what he did to me? It had only been a few hours and I was dying without him. I loved him. He’d lied to me and told me that nothing had happened last night. Meanwhile I’d told him that I loved him.

He didn’t love me. Harry didn’t love me. He couldn’t possibly love me. My experience with Cameron had taught me that. I wasn’t capable of being loved. I was only capable of being used, abused and thrown away. But Harry didn’t know that. I fell asleep and dreamt about that day.


“Cam?” I asked softly, giggling as I stepped into the house and crept along the hallways. I couldn’t wait to surprise him. I’d been planning this trip for months now, and I could just imagine how he’d react. Everything would be perfect.

I figured that he was in his bedroom, so I crept upstairs soundlessly. As I neared his bedroom, I heard soft moans and groans. What the hell was going on in there? Maybe he was watching TV. He always enjoyed his privacy.

I opened the door, not bothering with privacy, absolutely thrilled to tell him that I’d managed to book the plane tickets. What I saw surprised me. There was my wonderful boyfriend, blonde hair and blue eyes, lying on the bed, almost completely naked, with some skank on top of him. “C-cam?” I blubbered.

His head shot up and he threw the girl off of him. She shrieked and fell onto the floor, and he quickly got up, pulling on a pair of sweats and yelling, “Isabelle! It’s not what you think!” I shook my head and whipped around, disappearing down the hall.

I was almost at the front door before he caught me, whipping me back around to face him.

“Fuck you!” I screamed at him, “You said you loved me!”

“I do!” he bellowed back, but I could see it in his eyes; he was lying. I shook my head, my bottom lip beginning to tremble. “No,” I said, “No, you don’t. Just go back to screwing that slut. I’m sure you two will be very happy together.”

Without another word, I spun around and ran away, wrenching open the door, my feet hitting the porch steps as I sprinted away from the boy whom I thought loved me.

***

I awoke the next day, realising that I must’ve slept throughout the whole day, and even the night. My stomach growled, and I acknowledged just how hungry I really was.

Subconsciously, my legs slung over the side of my bed and I stood, my limbs feeling weak from being so inactive for so many hours.

I peeked at my alarm clock, only to find that it was noon. Figuring that I would just have breakfast for lunch, I sluggishly shrugged on a pair of sweatpants and a tank top, draping a robe over my shoulders. I quickly combed through my hair with my fingers and left it down, then squeezing my cheeks to add some colour to my pale, pasty face. I stared at myself in my bathroom mirror; you could tell I’d been crying.

Quietly I padded downstairs, not wanting to wake Kate, that is, if she wasn’t already up. Figuring that I’d just drown my sorrows in fatty foods and TV, I collapsed on the couch, far too lazy to begin preparing something to eat. A few moments later, soft footsteps approached, and Kate appeared in the doorway of the living room.

“Hey,” she said, smiling slightly as she walked up to me, crouching and brushing some hair off of my forehead. I tried for a smile, but I think it came out more as a grimace. “Hi,” I whispered, reaching for the remote. I clicked on the television while my older sister took a seat beside me, pulling my curled up body closer to her and wrapping her arms around me.

“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked softly, but I shook my head. I loved Kate, but I was still trying to process the whole situation myself.“N-Not yet,” I whispered, trying not to break down into tears all over again. She nodded and sighed, resting her chin on the crown of my head.

We sat there, watching reruns of SpongeBob Squarepants on the Nickelodeon channel for a while. Even though I found the show to be extremely funny, nothing could force a smile onto my face. I was too broken.

After a while, I could sense Kate getting slightly restless, so I stood up, claiming that I was hungry and that we should have breakfast/lunch together. She smiled lightly and nodded, and we made our way into the kitchen, gathering bowls and a box of Frosted Flakes. I reached into the top drawer of a cupboard and grabbed two spoons while Kate poured milk into both of the bowls. We then sat at the table, pouring our cereal and eating without conversation.

Then my sister broke the silence, “Do you want to go out today? We could go shopping if you’d like?” I looked up at her, debating over my two options. I didn’t want to stay cooped up in the house all day, but at the same time, I didn’t feel like going out and being introduced to civilization all over again. I hesitated and finally shook my head.

“I’m sorry,” I said, feeling guilty, “I’m just not ready to go outside yet. I feel so crappy. We’ll go tomorrow, I promise.” Kate shook her head, still smiling at me, “Belle, you don’t have to go if you don’t want to. I’m asking for your benefit. We’ll stay at home today and tomorrow if you really want to.”

“No,” I said, feeling slightly confident, “No, I want to go tomorrow. I just want to sleep today, and maybe relax, watch The Vow or The Notebook or something. But I want to go tomorrow.”

Kate hesitated, probably still feeling like I was only saying that because I felt guilty. In truth, I did, but I also wanted to go out. I was going to stay home today and calm down, sort through my feelings, and then tomorrow, Kate and I would have a girl’s day out. That’s what would happen in the movies, right?

“Okay,” she said, giving in. She flashed me a small smile, something that I tried to return, but with no such luck. I continued to swirl my cereal around in its bowl, suddenly not feeling so hungry anymore. I pushed my bowl away from me, “I’m done.”

Kate nodded, “Okay. Go back to sleep for a bit. We’ll watch a movie when you wake up.” Did I look so bad that people were just automatically assuming that I was tired now? Great. Not wanting to snap at Kate, I just nodded and shuffled back upstairs, gliding my hand along the rail.

In my room, I took a look at myself in the mirror. My eyes were slightly swollen around the edges, my hair was a little bit frazzled, and my cheeks and just my face in general looked really puffy. However, I could see how Kate could think I was tired. There were dark blue bags under my eyes, even though I’d slept for about twenty-four hours without pause.

I slugged over to my bed and sat down, tucking my knees into my chest and just thinking. I didn’t know if Harry loved me. I wasn’t sure. He hadn’t exactly told me, which only gave me more of a reason not to believe him. But I loved him. So, so much. I’d only known him for three weeks and about four days, but I loved him fiercely. If I could jump back into his arms at this very second, I would, and I wouldn’t look back.

But Harry wasn’t here. He wasn’t here, because I’d run away from him. I couldn’t have just sat tight and worked it out with words? What the fuck was wrong with me? Because of my overreaction, I was alone, without my wonderful boyfriend, feeling like shit. I always screwed things up.

“Mom,” I whispered, looking up, tears brimming in my eyes, “I need you.” I also felt terrible because of that. My mother had died because of fucking breast cancer, and I’d taken this trip to get away from the harsh reality of it all. The funny thing was that she’d died two years ago. Kate and even my father had not dwelled on the fact that she was gone, but rather the fact that she’d had an amazing life. My grieving period however, still continued to the present day. I felt terrible that with everything going on, she barely ever crossed my mind anymore. The day that she’d died was sealed into my brain. “January fifteenth,” I whispered aloud for no reason. I buried my face in my knees and fell back into my bed, restarting the cycle.

I cried.

Notes

Aw...sad chapters are no fun :(

But hey, every story needs them! The next chapter will be in Harry's P.O.V, just so you lovelies can see how he's been coping. What do you think will happen? Comment to tell me!
Also, let's play a game. Guess how old I am:

a) 13
b) 15
c) 17
d) None of the above

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