Behind Her Smile [Louis]

Louis was already gone for 2 weeks now, and I missed him. I hated him for it, but I did, I really missed him.
He called a few times and he asked to ‘Skype’ but I always made up some lame excuse. I know I’m horrible.
But….. urghhh… Shit…. I don’t have any excuse. I’m just nervous, and, urgh I can’t explain myself.
“Hey Jess!” Oliver walked towards me.
“I need to go can you please close the place?” my boss tossed the keys, and I caught them without hesitation.
“Sure!” There was only one –adorable- couple in the coffee shop, and it looked like there wasn’t anyone coming yet. So I sat down behind a table and my eyes were laid on a newspaper. I grabbed it and started reading. It was pretty fascinating to see what was happening in the world, until a picture of 5 guys around my age caught my attention.
“Are you okay there, sweety?” the elderly woman asked me.
“I’m fine” I forced a smile. But I was not, I could barely breath in air, and I just felt like my whole life was a lie.

-
I opened the door of the apartment, I had no idea why or how, but I was mad.
“Hey, Jess. Is it okay that you me and Laura are going-“ Rick hesitated and didn’t finish his sentence. “What’s going on?” I threw my bag on the sofa.
“Do you know any band named ‘One Direction’?” I didn’t answer his question, all I did was focusing on his face. My eyes didn’t left his confused, yet warm eyes.
“Uh, yea. Well.. I didn’t meet them yet, but they’re pretty big. So I know who they are. Jess, why is there hate in your eyes, darling?” Again, I didn’t answer.
“You know the names of the lads?” I didn’t even blink.
“Uh.. I know there’s one guy named Harry and one Liam I suppose and uh… Zayn? And Lewis and one Neill. I guess, not sure. Why?” He put his hand on my shoulder. “What’s going on?”
“Can I use your computer for a second, please?”
“Uh, yea… sure.. but jeezzz Jess, stop ignoring me. What’s going on?”
I still didn’t give him my attention. I just searched pics of that band ‘One Direction’ and my whole life was a lie. How could he conseal such a huge deal? I put my hands in my hair and let my head fall to my back.
“What is it?” Rick asked frustrated.
“that guy, Louis. Is aparently the most succesful guy on this planet. Jeezzz” I gritted.
“Don’t get me wrong, but” he sat down besides me after a few minutes of silence. “Why’s that such a bad thing.” I opened my mouth to answer. But I didn’t know what to answer. I simply didn’t know why it upsets me so much.
“Uh, great question” I chuckled lightly.
“I think you’re just tired. You’re working too hard, I’m glad you have a day off tomorrow..” I smiled.
“Yea, me too.”
-
“C’mon, Jess. You can’t ignore him forever.” I heard Niall through my phone.
“I’m not ignoring him.” I defended myself.
“Jess..” It sounded like he had to laugh. “He’s trying to reach you all week , but you don’t answer. I call you one time and you answer the phone. What has he done?” I didn’t answer. Because , again, I didn’t know the answer.
It’s just easier to run away from the problems, which I did literally. Now again, Louis makes me feel weak. So, It’s better I don’t let him. Especially , because million of girls are trying to be friends with him.
“Jess?” Niall asked worriedly.
“Yea, sorry. I have to go. Tell Louis to call me later, well, yea if you guys aren’t performing”
“You know?? h-“ click.
Perhaps it was a little rude. But, like I said, I run away from problems.
Not even 2 minutes later Louis’ name appeared on my screen.
“Is it evening where you are now, or is it-“
“I’m sorry I lied.” He cut me off, soft voice.
“Don’t worry.”
“Are you mad?” He asked a little worried.
“No” I smiled. I SMILED? 5 minutes ago I was almost furious. Oh, what that boy does to me.
We talked for more than an hour, until I heard Liam’s voice calling Louis to ‘get his ass off and wipe that smile of his face because soundcheck was about to start’ I smiled at the thought.
“See you.” I chuckled, before I diconnected.
I decided to cook Rick dinner, because of a sort of ‘thank you’ for everything.
“You are so in love with him.” I turned around to see Rick smiling.
“I am not.” To my surprise I grinned.
He just looked at me like ‘yea, whatever, girl.’
“Stop it!” I protested.
“Stop what? I’m not saying anything.” He laughed.
“Stop that look”
“You got mail.” He casually changed of topic.
“from?”
“I don’t know, I haven’t opened it” he grinned again.
My heart started to pound faster and faster when I read the first line.
Hi Jess,
I have no idea when this letter is going to arrive, because for god’s sake who writes letter in these days? Haha (:
I’m so bad in this, but I thought of reaching you this way since you don’t answer your phone.

Why??
I miss your smile :(
But, I have to tell you something, and since you don’t answer your phone: I’m writing it down. So, in the first place, I have no idea what you’ve been through but it seems a hell of a lot. So I don’t want to lie to you. Well actually I haven’t lied to you but I’ve been holding back something pretty big, and I don’t want you to find out in any other way besides me telling you.
I haven’t lied about everything I said to you. I am Louis Tomlinson and I’m 1/5th of a band named One Direction. I’m not really on holiday, but we’re currently touring around the world. And I don’t know if it’s a big deal for you, but I really felt bad about not telling you it. I just loved the way we could talk, without starting about the band. I really miss that..
Well, anyway I hope you haven’t find out yet. And if you did, I hope you’re not mad?
Love always, Louis.
PS: I really miss you. (so does Niall)
PPS: look in the enveloppe there is a book token for the bookstore around your corner. Don’t whine about the gift. I owe it to you.

I smiled when I finished the letter. After a moment I felt really bad on blaming him, he wanted to tell me. I still don’t understand why I made such a big deal out of it.
I was pretty excited to buy a new book, I haven’t really thought of it. I took the second paper out of the enveloppe, but it wasn’t anything related to a book token.
Hey Jess, you’re going to hate me so much. (so does Louis, because I read his letter and practically ruined his enveloppe. Hehe :) )
So, me and the boys (Zayn , Liam and Harry) are tired of Louis’ talks about you, so could you please, please, please, please come over to us? You have to because I stole the book token (I’m so bad) call me when you get this so I can mail you the plane tickets. I love youuuuuu xx Nialler.

“Idiot” I whispered.
To: Niall Horan
Niall, you’re an idiot. I can’t leave Laura. And you guys are touring around the globe? I don’t fit in that!
I rolled my eyes and smiled another time thinking back of those idiots.
-
About an hour later we were having dinner and Rick was looking at me with this shit eating grin on his face and it made me uncomfortable.
“So, Jess” Rick started. “Your lasagna is delicious by the way” he swallowed. “Forgive me, but I read your letter” I choked in my water.
“You did what? Rickkkkkkk!” I groaned.
“shhh!” he montioned I had to shut up. “I called Niall.”
“YOU DID WHAT?” I yelled again.
“Woman, please let me finish..” I took a breath and listened. “I called Niall, and he sent me the ticket. I talked to Laura and your boss and they’re both okay with it.”
I looked at Laura, and she just nodded. “You have to call every day though.” I raised my eyebrows.
“but..”
“no, buts. I take you to the airport tomorrow. You have to start living , Jess.”
“TOMORROW?” I have to admit, I was kind of nervous to see Louis again. Is it even possible for me to come over? I mean they’re so big and busy and why would I even go there? They’re not even my family?

Notes