Behind Her Smile [Louis]

“Seriously, Niall. How old do you think we are?” Liam chuckled glaring at me, when I laughed nervously along.
Thank you, Liam. Thank you.
“Come on! It can be funnnnnnnnn” Niall whined, yet excited. Louis’ eyes were glued on me again, I could feel it. I want to ignore him, but those lights in his eyes just couldn’t make me hate him.
“Maybe, we could do something else?” I looked thankfully at him, but Niall didn’t want to give in.
“C’mon guys, do you have another plan?” he looked at us all individually, raising his eyebrow. “Didn’t think so, I’ll get some beer to make it even more interesting” he laughed playfully and stood up.
“Sorry” Louis whispered.
“Why would you say sorry?” Liam asked. There followed another awkward silence. Suddenly I regretted I came, I just should of stayed at home –it was nice to call a place home again- so I could watch movies all night, but no.
“Okay, I’ll start” Niall sat down again, put his arm around my shoulder and smiled cutely.
“So, Liam” Niall started. “Truth or Dare?” he wiggled his eyebrows.
“Are we seriously doing this?” Louis whined, letting his head fall back in frustration.
“It’s going to be fun!” Niall promised us.
“Dare” Liam answered casually.
“I dare you to confess you’re gay tomorrow” I raised my eyebrows, and Liam turned completely red.
“Niall!” he complained.
“That’s a lame one.” I raised my shoulders, Louis having twinkles in his eyes. Looking at me like I didn’t understand anything of everything. He was probably right though.
“No, really we’re blowing this whole thing off. Nobody wants to play this game, anyway.” Liam quickly said.
“I want to see it, actually.” Louis laughed.
I felt rather uncomfortable, I didn’t know what they were talking about and it frustrated me, they went on and on about the subject, so I drifted off in my thoughts.
“Jess?” Louis snapped his fingers in front of my face.
“what?”
“Do you want to watch a movie?” Liam asked friendly.
“Uh” I hesitated. “I think I should head off” I stood up and I immediately heard whining everywhere I turned.
“Seriously, Jess. You’re here for what? 10 minutes?” Louis looked worried.
“I don’t feel well.. Besides, Laura is waiting for me.” I was sure Laura wasn’t missing me but I didn’t feel comfortable and I just wanted to sleep.
“I walk you home.” He stated it. And I couldn’t resist, his voice just told me that I had to insist.
So I did.
“Bye guys, have fun on holiday!” I gave them both a big hug and left. Louis escorted me outside by putting his hand on the small of my back.
He was walking towards his car.
“If you don’t mind, I want to walk.” I grinned, knowing he wouldn’t like it.
“Oh, is it far?” he said with sass in his voice.
“Yup” I exaggerated the sound of the ‘p’ and chuckled lightly.
“Oh, god, okay” he mumbled.
“so…. , it feels like forever since we had a decent conversation” Louis started.
“Louis” I turned to see his face. “We never had a decent conversation” my smiled faded.
We walked for about 10 minutes in complete silence.
“Louis” I breathed out eventually. “I really don’t need your pity”
He didn’t answer he just looked lost, confused.
“I know you’re sorry about what happened, but really I don’t need your pity. Everything we have is so forced. We’re not meant to be friends. And really I am okay, you don’t need to feel sorry for me.”
“Don’t get me wrong there, Jess. I am not only doing this for you. “ I raised my eyebrow. “I want to hang out with someone who treats me normal.” There it goes again, I disgust people who think they’re more than others.
“Therefore Jess” he leaned forward until our lips almost touched. I almost choke in my own breath while holding it. “You fascinate me” he pulled back and chuckled at my reaction.
“You disgust me” I shivered, hating myself to allow him to have such an effect on me.
“You fancy me” he grinned.
“Do not.” I said almost breathlessly.
Louis just laughed and with laughter in his eyes he was staring at me.
“ I like you, Jess. I hate to say goodbye to you and your sister. You both are very interesting” I just rolled my eyes.
Suddenly my phone buzzed.
“Hello?” I asked confusingly. I don’t really have many friends and it was pretty late.
“Jess, you left your jacket at Louis’ place!”
“urgh fuck” I cursed underneath my breath.
“Give me a call when you’re back from holiday and I’ll pick it up”
“Do I have to bring it?” Niall asked friendly.
“No, it’s no big deal, thanks though.” I forced a smile.
“See yah” Louis looked at me with a hundred of questions in his eyes.
“I left my jacket at your place, no big deal.” I smiled weakly.
“I’m living here, I know not half as much as your place. But it’s nice.” I smirked. Louis looked up and didn’t say a word.
“Do you want to come in for a minute?” I suppose Rick wouldn’t mind.
“Yea, I’d love to” He said overly polite. I just gave him a smile and let him in.
Laura fell asleep on the couch and Rick was nowhere to be found. Louis smiled when looking at Laura and it looked like he completely forgot I was here, too. He just walked over to the couch, sat down and gave Laura a kiss on her forehead. She slowly opened her eyes and chuckled lightly.
“Louis!” her smile multiplied.
“hey little one!”
I just sat there looking how Louis made her smile. I didn’t want to admit it, but he gave me such an amazing feeling by just talking.
After a while we were all seeing one of those movies, but Laura fell asleep again.
“It’s not suppose to be like this, you know” Louis said suddenly.
“Like what?”
“You …having this… life.” He sounded doubtful.
“You don’t even know half of it” I smiled my pain away.
“You’re right, I want to know you.” He took my hand, unexpectedly. I shivered lightly by his touch.
“You’re acting weird, Louis” I panicked.
“Stop it!” he yelled frustrated, I looked over to Laura. But she was still asleep.
“Stop what?” I whispered, my eyes about to fill up with tears.
“Stop that! You have to enjoy life, I don’t know what happened. But I want to help you. Life has got so much more to offer.” The wrinkle on his forehead grew within the second.
“I’m sorry, there’s Laura and I don’t have anything to offer.” He strengthened his grip around my hand and looked me in the eyes once again.
Suddenly I had no power in my body anymore, and all I wanted to do is stare into his eyes. For ever, it was like his eyes ask me a question and I don’t know the answer yet I want to spend every amount of time in the world answering that question.
But he gave me no time. He looked away and took my entire soul with him.
“I have to go” he whispered, and he gave me another reason to hate him. He just gave me so much hope and he took it all back. It’s so unfair. He took it all.
He softly brushed his lips against my cheek and left. The only remains of him were his incredibly nice smell and the tingles on the place where his hand left a few seconds ago.

Notes