Behind Her Smile [Louis]

Suddenly a huge wave of shame hit my brain , I let go of him without looking at him, picked up Laura and let him stand there speechless.
What am I doing? This is not me. I don’t cry, I don’t show my feelings. I’m strong.
I heard Louis yell something but it didn’t get through, just meaningless words were flying around my head. Laura’s hands hugged tightly around my neck, she was awake and she saw me weak. Something she’d never experienced before. She didn’t ask me whether everything was okay or not, she just shut her mouth and hugged her little arms around my neck.
~
I managed to let Laura go to school, I had saved enough money during the time I was here and also during the time I was still living with dad.
“I’ll make sure I’m here when school’s out” I kissed her head softly when she said goodbye and ran towards her new teacher. I was kind of relieved, because Laura was coming along to my work, and it’s not the best place for her to be all day long.
~
“You’re late” my boss yelled when I entered the pub I was serving.
“Sorry” I mumbled. He laughed friendly. “Don’t be afraid of me will you?”
“I am not” I smiled along.
“Great, there’s no reason to be afraid, I see it in your eyes you are though.” He murmured more to himself than to me.
I was great doing my work, smiling at costumers, keeping everything intact, etc. but then I bumped into someone and let 4 glasses clang on the ground.
“I am so sorry!” the guy, pretty handsome with longish hair looked sorry and helped me clean it up. “I’m so sorry, it’s all my fault.” He looked at me for the first time and stopped with everything he was doing once he saw me.
“I know you” he said wondering. I looked at him very closely and I recognized him vaguely as well.
“I remember again!” he said half excitedly, half sadly. “we met at the swimming pool” my smile faded.
“Oh, Mr. Middleton?” I asked. He just nodded.
While I was doing my job he stayed the entire time by my side, and I have to admit it was nice to talk to someone other than Laura. And he seriously let me laugh a few times. After a few hours I really felt like he was my friend.
“Can I ask you something extremely annoying?” he smiled and nodded. “Don’t feel any obligation, but it would be very nice” I grinned.
“Are you going to ask me yet, or what?” he laughed.
“Could you maybe pick up my sister at school, it’s not far. Only 5 minutes on foot..”
“Already on my way, what’s her name?” I smiled widely.
“You’re the best! Her name is Laura” and then he disappeared. I know he’s probably doing this all because he feels sorry for me, but it’s nice anyway so why bother?
Louis Tomlinson: How are you doing?
Louis Tomlinson: Please Jess, don’t ignore me!
This was probably the 10th text he had send me since last week. I felt so embarrassed, I know he doesn’t deserve to be ignored after all he’s done. But I just couldn’t I had never cried in front of someone, but with Louis I had done two times, he made me weak and I hated to feel that way.
It looked like only 2 minutes and Rick –aka Mr. Middleton- and my sister were back at my side.
“Jesss! Look what I did at school today!” she screamed excitedly and let me see all the things she made and did at school today.
“Look Oliver! This is my teacher, she’s very nice and all my classmates are so nice!” she jumped in the arms of my boss.
“wow! Look at that!” Oliver played along, it was lovely how much attention she’s getting, and it’s wonderful she’s able to act like a child of her own age, instead of being all wise all day long.
Rick was smiling at Laura and Oliver, then turned back at me. “Thank you” I whispered.
“You’re welcome.” He smiled and sat down at the bar.
My phone rang again and without paying attention I answered.
“Hello, Jess Richards.”
“Jessssss! I knew you couldn’t ignore me.” I sighed and a wave of embarrassment hit me again. “say ‘hi to her from me , will ya?” I heard an Irish accent. “Niall says hi” I don’t understand how he could ignore my *cough* embarrassing moment last week.
“Hello” I said softly and Rick eyes were glued on me.
“How are you?” I said eventually after a long silence.
“Great, yourself?” oh gosh this couldn’t be any more awkward.
It went on and on like that.
“Do you want to come over tonight?” He asked cheerfully. “You can bring Laura of course.”
“Sure” I sighed. I saw Laura’s eyes on me as well.
“Is it Louis?” her eyes lit up. “GIVE ME!” she commanded.
“So was it your boyfriend?” Rick asked teasingly.
“Eww, no” I laughed.
“Your eyes lit up when he talked to you.” He said casually.
“No, Rick, no, really, no. Boyfriends are not my thing” he laughed.
“You’re nervous around him” he kept going.
“Goshhhhhh” I sighed and let it go, because I wouldn’t win anyway.
So we kept talking and talking when I had nothing to do. I don’t know why I told him, but I think because I really trust him. I told him I was basically homeless, I stayed pretty calm though, like the old me, cool as a cucumber.
“Wow, rough youth you have there.” I just raised my shoulder and continued with the dishes.
“Maybe you can stay over at my place? It’s not big but there’s place to sleep” he smiled kindly.
“I couldn’t accept that.” I smiled, still thankfully.
“I have to, otherwise I’m calling social welfare center and they will pick a place for you, which one would you rather pick?” he grinned teasingly.
“You wouldn’t” I opened my mouth, splashing some water in his face.
“Please, I will feel much better, knowing you’re okay. I promise I’m not a murderer or something.” I sighed.
“urgh, okay, that’s very sweet of you.” I smiled.
“I’m going to Louis tonight though, do you mind?” I bit my lower lip a little.
“I’m not your dad, you don’t need to ask permission to see your boyfriend. Just see me as … err.. a roommate!”
“Okay roomi, thanks, I really appreciate it!” I smiled.
~
After he showed me his place I took the bus to Louis’ apartment. Laura rather wanted to stay home, because she was really tired and she had to go to school tomorrow, besides Rick was totally obsessed with the Disney movies Laura brought along. So I think they would be busy all night watching their Disney movies.
I quickly showered before I took off, so I wouldn’t smell horrible when I entered Louis’ apartment. I stood in front of Louis’ door when a quite muscular guy opened the door with a wide smile.
“You must be Jess” the short haired stated. I smiled nervously, waiting for him to open the door, but he didn’t. he just stood there looking at me not moving an inch.
“Payno what the fuck are you doing, let her in” I hear Louis’ voice in the background.
I chuckled by hearing his voice.
“Hey Tommo” I said, totally forgetting the awkwardness around us.
“Hey Jesso” he grinned, pulling me into a hug. That’s by the way not okay. It reminded me too much of last week.
“Thanks so much for coming” I raised my eyebrows.
“No problem?”
“Liam , Niall and I are going… on vacation for a few months tomorrow.” Louis said, trying to convince himself.
“On vacation?” Liam laughed.
“Yea on vacation” Louis gave Liam a dead glare.
“Oh she doesn’t… ?” Liam answered again.
“No, she doesn’t.” Louis replied calmly.
“Not at all?” Liam’s voice raised, so it sounded a lot like a squeak . I chuckled at the sound. Liam looked at me confusingly, much alike when Louis and I were sitting in the waiting room of the hospital. “Where have you been the past three years?” he turned to me.
“Woa, calm down, I don’t follow. What are you talking about, are you leaving London for a few months or what?” I asked, looking up to them both.
“Yea that’s for sure.” Liam lowered his voice again, still almost in shock.
“Not on vacation?” I asked now looking into Louis’ eyes.
“Kind of” Gosh is he lying now or what?
“Just tell her already, she’s going to find out anyway.” Liam said frustrated.
“No” Louis looked almost mad at Liam.
“Maybe I should go?” I stood up and I felt a hand clinch around my wrist.
“No stay, I want you to stay.” Louis’ puppy eyes made me weak, gosh I hated him.
“I hate being lied to, Louis.” I looked seriously at him.
“Please” he almost moaned out. I sighed deeply.
“Urghhh, fine!” I sat down again. And I ignored the ‘vacation’ part, if he wanted to go, sure, fine.
“Have you already started the party?” I heard an Irish accent yelling in the hallway.
“Nope, we waited for you” I screamed back.
“Jesssss!” Niall’s happy face appeared. I loved Niall in every possible way, he made me smile when no one else could. Life with Niall is so relaxing, no stress.
“Ni!” I laughed, I stood up to give him a hug, yea Niall’s hugs were fine because I didn’t feel weak when I gave Niall a hug, but when I did Niall stumbled and fell down right in front of my feet. I heard laughter in every direction.
“You dumbass” I laughed while giving him a hand to pull him straight.
“Have you asked her yet?” Niall turned to Louis.
“She can’t , she has got a job here plus you remember Laura?” Louis asked ironically.
“Seriously, don’t pretend I’m not here.” I groaned frustrated.
Niall smiled and gave me his attention.
“Sure babe.” Niall made himself comfortable on the couch and put his arm around my shoulder.
“by the way, I forgive you.” I raised my eyebrow.
“For what exactly?” I laughed.
“For leaving without saying goodbye” he said basically and I felt the blood rush to my cheeks. Louis’ eyes were glued on my face.
I’m sorry he mouthed.
“Oh , that” I tried to smile without letting go of Louis’ eyes. Also Louis’ smile faded and we had this awkward eye contact thing for too long, until Niall coughed.
“You okay there?” Liam asked worriedly.
“I’m fine” I smiled at Liam, Louis’ eyes were still glued on my face. I looked at him and he didn’t even look away, not even a blush on his cheeks. He just kept looking at me, almost staring.
“I’m fine, I’m doing fine.” It was meant to let Louis know I was okay. Not a casual answer on Liam’s question.
“Great! Let’s do truth or dare.” Niall grinned. Things could go so nasty right now, I was actually scared for revealing anything from me, because Louis was in the room and for the 10th time, I can’t control myself when he’s in the room and I had no idea why he has got such an effect on me.

Notes