Louis POV
“Mum” My voice breaks by only speaking out this little, simple word. Her eyes widen a little when she sees me standing on her doorstep but soon her arms are wrapped around my broken body. Light shivers are coming down my spine, probably because of the sobs I can’t hold in anymore.
“Tea?” she asks after a few minutes of embracing. Her voice is hoarse and she looks terribly sad.
“Please” I have my voice under control now but it doesn’t make anything better.
She takes a seat on the opposite side of me and her eyes scan my face. I look down at my hands and peel at my fingernail.
“Is it the girl you told me about?” I nod not looking up, nor wanting to open my mouth again.
“Did she broke your heart?” her voice is almost bitter, and it breaks my heart.
“I broke hers, well not really since her heart was already shattered but-“ I swallow and breathe before I speak again.
“I love her so much, mum” I look up at her and her eyebrows are knitted looking at me intensely. “She is so special but she is so broken. She really needed me and I let her go.” I looked up at her for the first time not letting go of her eyes. “I want to fix her, but instead she’s in a coma and I can’t do anything about it and it makes me so frustrated and I want to blame the world, but it’s my fault and-“
“Louis” my mother made me stop and only now I notice my hands in a fist, with almost white knuckles and my teeth clenched upon each other.
“Sorry” I whisper and closed my eyes to inhale and exhale on a normal rhythm.
She puts her hands on mine and I try to smile at her.
She doesn’t say anything and to be honest I don’t want her to. She will make it worse and she doesn’t understand how I feel. I can’t really explain but I’m one frustrated mess under my skin. It’s nice to be around a place where I feel home and even though my mum is looking at me incredibly worried I feel safe and warm around her.
“I’m going back” I announce as I stand up.
“But Louis, you’re just here.”
“I know, but I am so tired and I have to leave to LA in less than four days”
“Have at least dinner with me.”
“Okay” I sigh as I sit down again.
***
When I arrive at the hospital again I am calm and ready to fall asleep with my head rested on her bed by her side. But my mind is woken up in alarm when the door of Jess is wide open and doctors are screaming hysterically at each other.
“What’s going on?” I ask but nobody notices me.
“What’s going on?” I shout now and I can see at least five doctors around her bed touching my girls’ body.
“I’m sorry you need to go now, young man” a doctor pushes me aside.
“Tell me what’s going on!”
“Her heart stopped, now let me go” he looks at my fingers wrapped around his wrist.
No.
This.
Can’t.
Be.
Happening.
Christ.
My eyes start to fill with tears again and my legs start to feel weak, so I sit down on one of the benches in the hallway.
“We’ve got her back” someone shouts.
After an hour everything is normal again and I am allowed to enter the room.
“I thought I’d see you back tomorrow?” Zooey asked me.
“It wasn’t your best idea of sending me home, was it?” I snap at her. “Sorry” I say as I notice how harsh my words sounded.
“Don’t worry” She whispers and leaves me alone with Jess.
I take her hand in mine and with my free hand I stroke some hair away from her face.
“I’m sorry I left you” I whisper.
I nuzzle my head on her mattress and place her hand on my neck, to feel her warm skin against mine.
Not a minute later I am asleep.
“Louis, let me go” her voice whispers in my ear what makes her lips touch my ear shell faintly.
“No” I protest.
“Please, I have suffered enough” she begs and I refuse to open my eyes.
“I need you” I whimper as her fingertips trail over my hair. I open my eyes and her face is so close to mine, I can taste her breath on my lips.
“Sorry, Louis. I am ready”
I woke up from this terrible dream by a loud sound that sounds incredibly uncomfortable in my ears.
“Move!” a doctor shouts and I am barely aware of what is happening when they push me away.
“No, Jess. I am not ready.” I yell and I am pushed out of the room. All I can do is collapse right here right now. I burst out in tears again when hearing her words repeating over and over again in my mind.
Louis let me go, I am ready
Louis let me go, I am ready
Louis let me go, I am ready
“I am not ready to live without you, Jess” I keep whispering to myself, hugging my knees as I sit against the wall.
Why is the universe conspiring against the two of us being together? Every time we’re together, or want to be together there happens something. Why?

Notes

It's almost finished... :/ just warning you!