Louis POV
“Do you want me to talk to her?” Eleanor whispered sitting far away from me, I guess she’s scared to touch me now. I would be too, though. I am literally afraid of myself. All these years I’ve been trying to find who I am and I thought I found it, until now. I don’t cry over girls, I don’t give my soul to girls, I just don’t.
But I’ve been crying almost none-stop for already 7 days straight. I’ve tried everything, I’ve send her millions of voicemails and texts and for god’s sake I even send her letters. Handwritten, but she’s gone.
I didn’t answer Eleanor, I mean how stupid could she be? No offense, Eleanor is one of the sweetest girls I’ve ever known but if she doesn’t even want to talk to Niall, she wouldn’t want to talk to ‘my girlfriend’ for sure!
“Can you please go, El? I want to be alone.” She just nodded and looked at me with a lot of worries.
“I hope she’s worth your tears, Lou” She whispered and left. But alone was a big word because only two minutes later Harry entered the small room.
“Can you at least try to put her out of your mind?” His voice everything but rude, almost soft and healing my wounds.
“No” I sighed honestly. It was like my soul was ripped into a million of pieces and my body managed to keep falling even if I already hit the ground a thousand times.
“She called Niall yesterday. She’s devastated.” I don’t want him to be honest, I want him to tell me she’s not suffering as much as I am.
“Why doesn’t he just tell her the truth?” my voice broke and there it was then my one hour tear free moment.
“You really love her, don’t you?” Harry’s arm found my shoulder and for once I let it all go, hysterical sobs left my mouth when my forehead rested on his shoulder.
“I’m so so so sorry” He whispered as I didn’t stop sobbing.
I laid with my forehead on his shoulder until my head was practically begging me to lift it, it didn’t only hurt to lay on his shoulder for almost an half an hour but it was also almost exploding from the effort I’ve been doing to cry. It sounds horribly hilarious actually, but it wasn’t, it was the most painful situation I’ve ever been in.
“I’m sorry” I say softly as I lift my head and wiped away the tears on my cheeks. “Also for yesterday” I’m messing everything up, yesterday Harry had to sing my solo, as well as Liam and Zayn because I just couldn’t, everything, fucking everything reminds me of her. We had to tell the fans I had a cold and I lost my voice, I wish it was.
“Anytime, boo” I tried to smile at his comment, but I miserably failed.
“I think he doesn’t tell her the truth because he simply can’t. We all tried, but we can’t.” I nodded and stood up.
“I need some distraction”
***
It’s been two months and nobody had heard from her, I thought time would heal my wounds but it didn’t. It’s like my cuts are even deeper, though I tell the others I’ve been feeling better. I’m better in hiding now and I haven’t been crying so much anymore I guess just because I’m so exhausted I can’t even handle to cry, or because everything is already out. My eyes are still bloodshot and the it’s ridiculous what the world is making from my ‘poor’ appearance.
“Please, I mean they’re saying it anyway now! Why don’t make it official, what are we going to say if they ask why I am …” I stopped a second to breathe “like this?”
“Fine” he growled through the phone. “I’ll post it on your twitter as soon as I can”
“Thank you” I say a little bit annoyed as I hang up my phone. I kept refreshing my twitter page and just as I was going to tweet them myself I saw a new tweet from surprise surprise me.
Louis_Tomlinson
Twitlonger: Hi guys! Sorry I’ve been ‘off’ for so long, but I had a horrible few weeks. I hate to tell you guys but Eleanor and I have broken up. She’s the most amazing girl I’ve ever seen so please don’t hate on her. We’ve broken up as friends and we want to keep it that way. This is NOT the confession to say ‘Larry’ is real. Sorry guys! I can’t wait to meet you guys who’s coming to our show tonight? :)
I rolled my eyes as I let myself fall on my hotel bed. I hate to not tweet myself, but they’re afraid I’m giving away something about Jess, so as long as I’m not over her I can’t tweet for myself. Like I’m a little kid.
Suddenly my phone buzzed and I answered before I read who it was.
“Harry, no! How many times yet? I’m not ready to party yet. I’m sure you can have a nice time without me” I groaned frustrated as I buried my head in my pillow.
“Oh” I heard her voice and immediately sat straight again with wide eyes and a heart that almost pounded out of my chest.
“I’m so-sorry , I thought it was H-Harry” I was so nervous.
“Don’t worry. I just called you because Niall and Zayn didn’t pick up” she explained. Of course.
“I understand” I swallowed my nerves.
“When are you guys coming home from tour?” Her voice was soft and I desperately wanted to see her, I don’t care about anything anymore.
“We have a two months break after tonight, Niall is going to Ireland for a few days and then he’ll be back in London. Zayn is going to Bradford a week I guess.” I almost whispered, I was so scared to tell her something stupid and mess up all over again.
I thought she hang up but when I looked at my phone she was still calling. There was a silence for more than 50 seconds until she answered.
“And you?” Her voice barely a whisper.
“I’m staying in London, I’m not going to Doncaster. Maybe later this month.”
“Oh” and she didn’t say anything anymore for a while. “when are you coming?”
“When we’re arriving in England, or what do you mean?”
“Yea”
“tomorrow evening” I so badly wanted to ask why, but I was scared she would be hurt some way.
“Can you please ask Zayn to call me back?”
“Yea, of course.” As soon as she hang up I started to cry again, I missed her so much and hearing her voice was only making it worse.
C’mon Louis stop crying my subconscious kept saying, but I couldn’t. I really thought my crying time was over but apparently not.
Today’s show was hell, people were holding those huge boards with ‘Stay strong , Louis” and I fucking started crying in front of thousands of girls.
When I opened my eyes I saw my phone in my hand. Oh no. Drunk texting is bad but me texting when I’m hurt is worse.
To: Jess Richards
I miss you so much it hurts
Is this bad? It’s not that bad is it? Or is it? I locked my phone and I immediately got a reply from her. I feel like a twelve years old boy receiving a text from the girl he’s crushing on but then ten times worse. I’m fucked up, she fucked me up and I don’t give a shit.
[If you're reading this can you please vote? it would mean so much! Have a nice day :)]

Notes