Nicolette

I stared at the Oxford University official web page, torturing myself with the page of expectations from a student entering the university. My fingers tapped on the base of the laptop what, while I attempted to keep myself calm.

Many of the students in my past school had been very smart. Most of them didn't have to put more than an ounce of effort into their work, and they seemed to receive the perfect grades that they wanted. Nate, for example, had been one of those students. He was smart, and he was into the arts. Everyone knew him for his intelligence.

I was quite different from him, and from much of my class. I had to try so much harder to barely get the grades I wanted. I had studied for hours and hours on end for my college entrance exams, yet I barely made the cut. It worried me, because if I had done any worse, I may have not been able to get into a college, let alone such a prestigious one as Oxford.

"Knock, knock." the thick accent of my Irish father echoed through my room. I looked up from my laptop to see him leaning against my door frame, arms crossed over his chest.

"You're stressing about school again?" he sounded as if he had guessed, but he knew very well that school had always been one of my main troubles.

"You could say that." I nodded, biting on my bottom lip.

Dad sighed and came to sit down next to me, taking the laptop from my lap. His eyes dell to the Oxford web page, then back at me.

"You have absolutely nothing to worry about, Nic." he whispered, taking my hand in his. "You have worked extremely hard for this opportunity, and you'll regret worrying so much about it later on. You need to enjoy what you've accomplished instead of mourning about it."

"I'm scared, Dad." I admitted, leaning forward to rest my head on his shoulder. "All the kids there are going to be so smart, and then there'll be me. How am I supposed to keep up with everyone else?"

"You don't have to live up to everyone else," Dad sighed. "What you can accomplish is what you can accomplish, and no one in this world has the right to make you feel down on yourself for what you can and can't do."

"I don't even know anyone going there." I groaned, squeezing his arm. "What if I'm the dumbest person there, and I don't have any friends?"

"You'll have Will." Dad shrugged, kissing my forehead. "Isn't that enough for you?"

I gave him a pointed look. "Dad, I'm barely going to see Will. He's a level higher than me, not to mention his field is totally different from mine. We won't have any classes together."

Dad nodded slowly, then began shaking his head. "Actually, you're wrong. You'll see him a lot know than you think, because I've decided that you two can be dorm mates."

I froze.

Dad began to grin at me, but his smile subsided when he saw the grimace on my face. This was a bittersweet moment, but I could never tell my dad the reason why.

I was in love with Will, and he wasn't in love with me. Of course, having his company every day and being able to spend time with him would be ideal, but I couldn't stand to think just how many girls he may bring home, how many times he would tell me to go somewhere else so he and his... sexually active partner could do the do. In all honestly, I felt sick to the stomach.

"That's great." My voice cracked. "Thank you, daddy." I forced a grin onto my face and wrapped my arms around him for hug. He pat my back slowly, sensing that something way wrong.

"What's the problem?" he asked, pulling away with a determined look on his face. I knew he wouldn't take my bullshit, but that didn't mean I wasn't going to try.

"We got in to a fight." I lied. "We aren't exactly on the best terms now." Wow, well that was a lame excuse, if not the lamest.

"That's a load." my dad snorted, rolling his eyes. "The last time you two fought was in the sixth grade over who was the winner of a staring contest. Tell me the real reason."

"He snores really fucking loud, dad."

Dad laughed, slapping his knee as if that was the funniest thing he'd ever heard. Within a second, the smile dropped and his facial expression became serious. "Lie, Nicolette. Did I bring you up to tell lies?"

I blushed, looking down. There was no way around him. My dad could smell bullshit from a mile away. And I was full of it.

"Look, if you don't want to tell your old man, then that's cool." my dad put his hands up in surrender. He pushed off the bed, standing on his feet. He purposely pouted and let his expression drop.

"Are you really trying to pull the guilty card on me, dad?" I cocked an eyebrow at him.

"No, no." he said innocently, walking backwards towards the door with his hands still raised. "Just know that now I'm going to go interrogate Will to find out what he's done to my daughter."

My jaw dropped as he turned swiftly and left the room. Oh, so this was how it was going to be. Fine.

I quickly picked up my phone and sent Will a text message, knowing that my Dad was no less than serious about contacting Will. He probably figured that Will had done something to me.Yeah, stole your heart.

To: Will

If my dad tries to contact you or asks if you've done anything to me, say no. Okay? And then ignore him.
I got a reply only seconds later.
From: Will

And why would he be asking me this in the first place? Your dad and you should both know well that I would never do anything to hurt you.
Buddy, you don't know how wrong you are.
To: Will

He told me that he was allowing us to dorm together. I didn't exactly seem excited, so he thought something was wrong.
From: Will

IS something wrong? And he actually said yes??? Never thought I'd see the day.
To: Will

There is nothing wrong. Just convince him that you did nothing because now he's onto you just because i didn't smile.
From: Will

Gotta love your dad, man.
To: Will

Yeah, yeah. I gotta go. Are you coming tonight?
From: Will

I'll be there, knocking on your window ;) See ya.

I pressed the lock button of my phone and prayed that whatever Will told my dad, my dad would buy it. He wasn't an easy guy to trick, so I was genuinely frightened for Will.

"Nic," Noelle called my name, walking into my room, "Can you drive me to Val's? I want to see her one more time before she leaves for college."

I groaned. "Go ask Nate or something. He never drives you anywhere."

"My point." Noelle crossed her arms over her chest. "He always refuses to drive me places, so you're my only hope." She paused, studying my messy bed and me, snuggled under my covers. "It's not like you're doing anything, anyway."

"And maybe I want to continue not doing anything." I retorted. "Driving you to Val's is considered doing something."

"What's your problem?" Noelle narrowed her eyes at me. "Why can't you just drive me to her house. It'll take twenty minutes tops for a round trip."

"No." I snapped. I pulled the covers off my body and glared at her as I left my room, banging on the door of the room across the hall.

"What?" Nate yelled from behind the closed door. "The hell, stop banging on the door, Nicolette!" I smirked, amused by the fact that he knew it was me. I'm the only one who ever bangs on his door.

"Drive Noelle to Valerie's house!" I yelled. Noelle stood to the side, watching me. "Get your lazy arse out of bed and take her somewhere, for once in your god damn life!"

"No!" Nate shouted back. "You take her, I'm busy."
"Doing what?" I scoffed. "Jacking off?"

Seconds later, I heard footsteps padding towards the door, and Nate pulled it open, glaring down at me. "Fuck off." he spat, his icy blue eyes meeting mine, identical to his and just as cold.

"No." I growled, clenching my fists at my sides. "Look, I am not going to deal with your fucking rude attitude, but I'll kindly tell you right now to get your shit together. Our sister needs a ride, and I'm not going to do it."

"Why the fuck not?" he raised his voice, eyes darting to Noelle who just continued to watch us with a smug grin. I narrowed my eyes at her before catching Nate off guard and pushing him into him room, slamming the door shut behind both of us.

Nate's room always smelled like paint. The walls were painted a deep red color with intricate black designs he had done himself. A yellow lamp stood in the corner, providing a dull, mellow light to the room to add an artsy feel.

"What crawled up your arse and died?" I hissed at him, shoving him so that the backs of his shins hit the bed and he fell onto it. "Why don't you ever do anything for Noelle?"

"Oh, come off it." Nate rolled his eyes. "I do plenty for her."

"Bull shit." I scoffed, placing my hands on my waist. "Name at least three things and I'll 'come off it'." I mocked his deep voice.

"Well, I drove her to school that one time." Nate scratched the back of his head, clearly lying.
"Nice try, Nate." I laughed dryly. "Noelle rides the bus."

"Fuck!" Nate threw his arms up hopelessly. "I don't know. Just please, take her. I just, I can't."
It was then that I caught I different emotion in his eyes. Fear. He was scared of something. He was hiding something, something that he didn't want anyone to see.

"Nate," I dragged out his spoke as I spoke, "this isn't just about your utter laziness, is it?"

Nate's face flushed. "What the hell are you talking about? Just get out of my room."

"There's something in here that you're hiding." I fired assumptions at him. "That's why you never come out of this stupid room unless we're all downstairs for a meal or something."

"Are you high?" Nate replied, looking at me as if I were crazy. "What could I possibly be hiding in here?"

"I don't know." I smirked, turning away from him and his bed to face the rest of his room. It looked like an art studio, and it practically was. There was painting hung up on the wall, and multiple aisles that held unfinished paintings. Nate had a whole rack of paints of all of the different colors of the rainbow. Then, there was a large desk on the side with most of Nate's sketchbooks and other art diaries.

I looked back at him over my shoulder. "You hiding drugs?"

Nate's jaw dropped slightly. "You're kidding, right? Why the hell would I, of all people, be taking drugs?"

"Who knows," I shrugged. "Maybe you're one of those quiet, smart kids who secretly has a fucked up second life their trying to hide."

"Sure." Nate rolled his eyes again. "Believe what you want, but I'm not doing drugs."

"Fine," I walked towards Nate, arms crossed over my chest. "If you won't tell me, then I'll tell dad to search your entire room as soon as you leave."

Nate sat up, narrowing his darkened eyes at me. He stood up, easily beating me in height by half a foot. "Well then, I guess it's only fair that I tell dad about Will?"

Thud, thud, thud. I could feel my heart beating faster. "What the hell are you talking about? I'm not hiding anything about Will from anyone."

"Yeah?" Niall smirked devilishly. "What about that stunt he pulls like, every night, climbing up your window when dad's asleep to do who knows what in your room?"

My heart stopped.

"No." I gave him penetrating glare. "You can't tell dad about that. Please. It's not what you think." My voice cracked.

Nate didn't understand. Will was the only person I could talk to about my mother. Nate was my only other option, but he refused to speak of her. There was no way I would be caught dead talking about my kidnapped mother to Will during the daytime at my house, so our only choice was at night. Will had been the equivalent of a therapist to me. I used to suffer from insomnia, unable to sleep in fear of having the terrible dreams I had of my mother's blood, stained into the carpet as a reminder of her disappearance. With Will to listen and hold me until I fell asleep, I no longer had that problem.

"I won't tell dad." Nate promised, noticing the fear in my eyes. "Just so long as you don't tell him that I'm hiding stuff in my room. That's absolute shit."

"Okay." I nodded. "Just tell me one thing, and I promise this will stay between you and I."

Nate hesitated, studying me. When he saw that my intentions were genuine, he nodded slowly. "Fine, what?"

"Are you hiding something in this room?" I lowered my voice.

Nate's lips parted at the question, then clamped shut in a thin, straight line. Our eyes met briefly, then he averted his gaze. Nate nodded ever so slightly, that if I hadn't been watching him closely, I would have missed it.

"Okay." I said, feeling a sense of closure with this conversation. "I guess I'll take Noelle to Val's then."

Nate nodded, watching silently as I left his room. Noelle stood against my door, arms still crossed over her chest.

"Well?"

"I'm taking you." I answered. "Move out of the way or I can't get dressed." Noelle stepped aside, letting me into my room.

I shut the door behind me and paused, groaning while massaging my temples to calm myself down. Nate had always been a mysterious kid, doing things without earning much attention. But now, all I could focus on was him.

I got dressed in a hurry, wiggling into a pair of jeans and pulling a hoodie over the shirt I was already wearing. I stuck my feet into some boots and grabbed my phone and my car keys.

Noelle was quiet as we drove, and I didn't have much to say to her either. I believed the only upside to this was that I might catch Will when I went to go drop off Noelle.

I pulled up in the driveway of the Tomlinson household, and Noelle rushed out of the car to go see her friend. Seriously, she needed to get friends her own age.

I made sure that I looked decent and followed after Noelle, who the door had just been open to by Will.

"Hey, Noelle." Will smiled, opening the door wider. "Come on in." Noelle stepped inside and was immediately swept away by Valerie, who gave me a brief wink before taking Noelle up to her room.

"So, hey fellow dorm mate." Will nudged my side, locking the door. I smiled. "I had an interesting conversation with your father today."

"Oh," I groaned, losing my smile. "Did he completely and utterly make a fool of himself?"

"Not completely." Will laughed, leading me upstairs. "But he's got this whole idea that we're sharing some sort of fatal secret."

"We are, in a way." I pointed out, sitting down on his bed. "Dad doesn't know that you know about my mother."

"I don't get it." Will admitted, sitting down in the chair at his desk. "What's the big deal in letting Noelle know the truth about her mother? It's not like it's going to kill her."

"That's what my dad thinks." I snorted sarcastically. "I don't quite understand his reasoning either. All I know is that he thinks he's protecting Noelle."

"That makes no sense." Will shook his head. "Honestly if I were you, I'd try to knock some sense into him. He needs to realize that hiding this from Noelle will get him nowhere."

"Will," I sighed. "I've tried. I really have, but my dad ends up waving me off or just completely ignoring me. He won't even listen to me. I've given up on trying to convince him that he's wrong about keeping my mother a secret."

"There's got to be another reason, Nic." Will insisted, sitting forward in his chair. "Elle's protection can't be the only thing he's worried about."

"Yeah, well, that's all he'll tell me." I sighed. "He's so secretive about my mum and I just want to know the real reason why."

"Do you think something happened before your mom disappeared?" Will wondered. "Maybe your mum told him to keep her a secret, so he feels that if he tells Noelle, he'll be betraying her."

"That can't be it." I frowned, shaking my head. "I remember clearly. We came home from school, dad went upstairs to look for mum, and when Nate and I went to see why he was crying, all there was was blood on the floor. She was gone before she could've told him anything."

"Oh," Will nodded. "Well shit."

I smiled sadly, exhaling deeply. "I wonder what my life would've been life if she was still here. I needed her for so many things and she wasn't there. Things could have been different."

"They could have." Will agreed, spinning in his chair. He planted his foot in the ground, stopping it. "But look at the bright side. Because of her absence, you've become a stronger, more responsible person and a better sister to Noelle. You've learned to live your life without her, as much as that does hurt."

"I don't want to get used to it." I said softly, tilting my head down towards my lap. Will frowned, watching me carefully. "I didn't want to get used to living without her. I didn't want to forget her, but I guess I am. That's makes me a terrible person."
"No," Will interjected quickly, "that does not make you a terrible person. It makes you a stronger, braver person. You haven't forgotten about her, you think about her everyday. But your coping without her and that is key."
"Wow," I looked up at him with a tiny smirk. "Wise words from William Tomlinson, everyone. Round of applause." I clapped my hands together.
"Oh, you're far too kind." Will answered in a pompous voice, holding a hand dramatically to his chest. "Please, please stop it. My, I'm flattered."
"But da, I wouldn't, your words were so precious." I puckered my lips as I spoke. "They really touched me darling, right here." I patted my chest lightly.
Will grinned, shook his head, and shot out of his seat, charging at me. The force of his body against mine pushed me back onto the bed, and I let out a scream as his nails dug into my sides.
"No, no stop...stop!" I yelled in between breaths as Will enjoyed his amusement of tickling me. I screamed kicked him several times, but then, he started tickling my neck. That was it, I was a goner. Telling Will my most ticklish spot in the fifth grade was the worst mistake of my life.
When Will starting attacking my neck with tickles, I stopped fighting all together. All I could do was laugh like a maniac because it tickled like hell. Will started laughing along, too, and soon we were both out of breath. Will rolled onto the bed beside me and chuckled softly.
"That was fun." he smirked, looking at me from the corner of his eye. I feigned an angry expression, slapping his arm with all the strength I could muster up. Will didn't even flinch.
"That was not fun." I hit him again. "You were giving me hell. I could barely breathe!"
"You were laughing, though." he grinned stupidly. I looked away, my heart slowly melting as he continued to flash his beautiful smile at me.
"I was forced to laugh." I huffed. Will sighed and tried to grab my arm, but I rolled away and sat up, glaring at him.
"Don't touch me."
"But you love me." Will whined, tugging on my arm again.
"I don't, actually." I snapped, shaking him off. Liar. You're head over heels for him. "Don't lay a finger on me, William."
Will sat up and sat criss-crossed on his bed, poking his bottom lip out and pouting. "Please don't leave me." he begged, pulling the puppy dog face. Oh no.
Here was the thing about Will's puppy dog face. He picked it up around the third grade, when his mum wouldn't give him the cookie jar. Eleanor, of course, gave into it, and devious eight year old Will starting using the face as a weapon. He got whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted. No one, not even his parents, could resist that face. One time, he forgot to turn in an English assignment in the eighth grade. He was a good fourteen years old, yet he pulled the puppy dog face and his teacher said the assignment wouldn't be counted late if he turned it in the next day. The face was the devil itself, and no one could overpass it.
Not even me.
"I really hate you." I sighed, walking back towards him. I sat down on his lap and he wrapped his arms around my waist from behind, his chin resting over my shoulder.
"I call the side of the dorm near the bathroom." Will said randomly.
"No way!" I argued, turning slightly so I could see his face. Don't pay attention to how close your faces are. Don't look at his lips. Don't. Look. At. His. Lips. "I want the biggest bed and the side closest to the bathroom."
"You can't have both." Will scoffed. "Either you get the bigger bed, or you get the bathroom first. Your pick."
"Bigger bed," I decided after a second to think. Will woke up slowly anyways. I could just beat him to the bathroom, and there would be no way he could stop it.
"Oh," Will wiggled his eyebrows. "Bigger bed, aye? Why, planning on becoming a little rebel?"
"You, my friend," I patted his head, "are nasty as hell. Speaking of which, you are not allowed to bring girls back to the room, at all."
Will narrowed his eyes at me. "Why would that be a problem for you? You can just leave until I'm done."
I scoffed. "I will not just leave so you can get it on with a girl. You need to realize that I'm not going to put up with your shit."
"Fine," Will rolled his eyes. "I'll just go to the girl's dorm then, since you're so jealous."
I punched him in the arm. "I am not jealous!"
"Sounds like something a jealous person would say." Will smirked, enjoying messing with me. I hit his head.
"Ow!" Will yelped, grabbing the back of his head. "You're an abusive person, Nicolette. I hope you know how serious that is."
"And you're a dork. I hope you know how serious that is."
"Wow." Will rolled his eyes. "Great comeback, Nic."
"Thanks, hon." I squeezed his tan cheeks, slapping his cheek afterward. I got up from his lap and gave him the finger, skipping out of the room.

I mean, how could he not love me?

Notes