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A life of Payne

Chapter 59

Katie's POV
*Two weeks later*

Two weeks flew by as if life was on fast forward.

Tour was going great but everyday I would miss Calum more and more.

Simon decided that the manager of One Direction was to become my temporary manager while I was on tour with them so she has been working me hard and pushing me to write new songs and put myself further into the world of fame.

Like today she organized for me to go onto the Ellen show meaning I had to get out of bed soon to practice.

I love Ellen and think she is an inspiration to many people but why the hell does she have to make me practice so early?!

"Come on Katie, you need to get up soon." Liam announced as he walked to the back of the tour bus where the bunks were.

I groaned and turned around so my face was hidden by Niall's chest.

Yeah I'm sleeping in Niall's bunk with him right now.

But to be fair, my bunk is at the top of Liam's and I'm way too lazy.

But yet again, I would be lying if I said that was the only reason for being in his bed.

Niall's chest rumbled with a silent laugh as he placed a soft kiss on my forehead, I kept my face in his chest as I tried to fall back to sleep.

"Niall don't encourage her." Liam sighed as he walked away and I lifted my head off the bed to see if he was still in view.

Luckily he wasn't anywhere visible and if I couldn't see him then that meant he couldn't see me. I huffed and let my head fall against the mattress again but gave Niall some space as I rested my head a few inches away from his so I could look at him.

He was very easy on the eyes, even when he had just woken up.

"You should probably get up soon." He whispered to me but his actions stated otherwise as he pulled my fluffy yellow blanket higher up my shoulders.

It went silent as I continued to look into his eyes, I didn't want to leave and judging how Niall had suddenly tightened his grip around my waist then I'm guessing he doesn't want me to either.

We would only be apart for a few hours but with Calum halfway across the world I need someone to hug me and Niall is a very good hugger. A few hours apart starts to feel like years when you spend everyday together for two weeks.

"Or maybe we could do this instead." He leaned closer so his lips were ghosting over my own and my eyes closed as I waited for his touch.

I haven't kissed him over the past two weeks, not since that day we were watching the Muppets together but for some reason I was willing to let him now of all times when my brother is in the same freaking bus.

Sure we cuddle a lot and there has been a few kisses on cheeks or foreheads but I feel like properly kissing him would be wrong, especially when it's behind Calum's back.

My mind was telling me to move away, actually everything in me was telling me to move away but I just couldn't bring myself to stop him.

I went against my better judgement and leaned in closer but before our lips touched a voice boomed through the bus making me jump and move away.

"Katie get your butt out of bed before Annie comes and kicks it!" Liam shouted making Niall laugh and me sigh.

I rolled my eyes and literally fell out of the bunk. I pulled my blanket tighter around me and dragged myself to the front of the bus where Liam was waiting for me.

I didn't really have a problem with practising in my pajamas since I was tired and lazy so I didn't change and quickly hoped into the car with Liam so he could drop me off at the studio before him and the boys went to rehearsal.

"Are you sure you're okay to be here alone?" Liam asked sceptically as he pulled up at the Ellen studio.

"Yes Liam." I sighed once again and gave him a quick hug before stepping out of the car.

As soon as I saw his car drive off I quickly walked into the building and fished my phone out of my pocket at the same time.

I sighed as I saw the familiar contact appear on screen.


I know I should feel guilty for leading to boys on at the same time but to be honest I did it all the time in high school and they both make me happy so why should I have to pick just one when I can feel a different kind of happiness from both of them.

"Hey baby..." He answered the phone on the first ring with a small yawn leaving his lips at the end of his sentence.

I smiled just from hearing his voice as I walked into the dressing room I had been provided with.

"Hey Calum."

"I miss you so much." He mumbled and I felt my chest tighten.

"I miss you too."

Maybe just a bit more than I should.

"But at least we've been talking everyday right?"

"Yeah, you haven't told anyone have you? They already think I've attached myself to you way too much, if they found out we talk everyday then they would probably take my phone off me or something." I laughed half heartedly at my own words and so did he.

It's true Liam and the boys think I'm too dependant on Calum because apparently I talk about him way too much.

But since I spend a lot of time with Niall, they haven't picked up on the fact that I call him everyday.

"Haven't told a soul baby."

"Thank you." I breathed out before we said our goodbyes and I got ready for my practice run of my new song I would be singing.

*Later that day*

"Well it's been great talking with you Katie and I her you have a new song to play for us!" Ellen announced brightly and I smiled nervously and tried not to gawk at the cameras that were everywhere.

This is a lot more nerve racking then I thought it would be.

I stood up and walked over to the other end of the stage area where my microphone was set up, I looked to my left slightly to see all five boys standing there with warm smiles on their faces as they gave me thumbs up to try and calm my nerves.

It didn't really help but I gave them a small smile as a thank you.

"Without further ado, Katie Payne singing her new single 'Guilty'!"

I took one last deep breath to steady myself before turning to face the camera and began to sing.

"I was dreaming something dark,
Hiding body parts.
A broken dog, a broken leg,
I left it cold, I left it dead.

Oh I'm a guilty one,
And know what I have done.
Yeah, I'm a troubled one,
And I won't be forgiven.

Guilty on the run,
And I know what I have done.
Guilty on the run,
And I'm never forgiven.

I was just a kid,
That you could not forgive,
Because it's harder.

I was just a kid,
And all I really wanted,
Was my father.

I killed a dog so smart and rare.
Touched his techni-coloured hair.
I left it bruised and black and lame.
I left it running full of shame.

Oh I'm a guilty one,
And know what I have done.
Yeah, I'm a troubled one,
And I won't be forgiven.

Guilty on the run,
And I know what I have done.
Guilty on the run,
And I'm never forgiven.

I was just a kid,
That you could not forgive,
Because it's harder.

I was just a kid,
And all I really wanted,
Was my father.

Spent years singing to forget, (to forget).
Spent years singing, "no regret".
Then suddenly it all becomes clear,
I've been sorry all these years.

I was just a kid,
That you could not forgive,
Because it's harder.

I was just a kid,
And all I really wanted,
Was my father.

Guilty on the run,
And I know what I have done.
Guilty on the run,
And I'm never forgiven.

Guilty on the run,
And I know what I have done.
Guilty on the run,
And I'm never forgiven."

I opened my eyes that I had closed during my song just to find everyone cheering and clapping. I took my ear pieces out and walked back over to Ellen who was also clapping.

"What an amazing song!"

"Thank you." I giggled as she pulled me in for a hug.

"It's a very guilty song obviously, is there something you've done recently that you should feel guilty for?" She asked hinting at the same thing she had been throughout the interview.


I swallowed nervously and looked back stage to see the boys watching me intensely as they waited for my answer.

Oh you know just falling for two boys at the same time.

"Nothing recently." I replied confidently.

"Cheers to Katie! For her first interview!" Liam shouted over the loud music we had playing up on the top of our hotels roof.

We all raised our glasses and cheered like the drunken idiots we were as I swayed in my spot.

I have so much alcohol in my system right now that I've lost count of the amount of drinks I've had.

But I'm happy so who gives a shit!

"Yeah it's pretty clear I aint no size two!" The sound of my current favourite song suddenly boomed through the speakers and I jumped up and down excitedly.

"I love this song! Niall dance with me!" I cheered as I pulled at Niall's arm who was standing next to me.

He gave in easily and we stumbled our way over to the area where other people were dancing.

Me being the overly tipsy person I was, tripped over my own feet and reached out to grip onto Niall's shoulders to steady myself.

He laughed and placed his hands on my hips as we moved to the beat of the music.

We danced our way through about three songs before I felt his thumbs start to kneed into the material of my dress making me suddenly flustered.

Oh god.

"I - uh need another drink." I stuttered out as I backed away from him, he nodded and turned in the opposite direction as me.

I quickly walked over to the makeshift bar that the boys had set up and poured myself three shots which were gone just as fast as I had poured them, I slammed the small glasses onto the counter top and rubbed my hand over my face as I tried to clear my head but it was so foggy that it was impossible right now.

Someone came and stood next to me and poured themselves a drink making me look up from my hands.

"C-calum?" I blurted out confused making the person laugh and shake his head.

"No sweetie. My name is Zayn." He chuckled again and I blinked a few times until my eyes cleared up and I could suddenly tell it was indeed Zayn and not Calum.

"Oh." I pouted and leaned against his side since there was no seats to sit my drunken arse in.

"Got Calum on the brain again?" He asked as he brought his glass up to his lips.

"No you just kind of look like him." I giggled and he gasped dramatically.

"I do not!"

"Do so! You have the same hair!" I brought my hand up to his hair and messed it up even more and he whined while pushing my hand away.

"Do you miss him?" He asked turning serious all of the sudden.

"Well yeah, It's hard to leave someone you care about a lot and I mean we slept together so of course I'm going to be attached to him. I don't see why you guys think it's so un-healthy." I shrugged and jumped at the sudden shouting coming from behind me.


Two angry sounding voices barged into the conversation making my breath hitch in my throat.


Two voices?

I whipped around fast to see both Liam and Niall staring at me angrily.

Uh oh.


Inspiration update!!!
I have a boyfriend! His name is Alfie (:
He's pretty cool I guess lol
I'm so smitten right now...

Next chapter goal!!!
If you guys can give me at least ten more votes AND comments, then I will start working on the next chapter straight away!

Love you guys to the moon and back! xx


Thank you xo

Kass_april Kass_april

This is really good!

Louis_bae Louis_bae

Thank you sweetheart! xx

Kass_april Kass_april

I only really come on this site to see if you updated. You have the best fanfictions ever

Kendra_Horan Kendra_Horan

Thanks darling ♡ I'm really not okay with it but I can't put my life on hold forever so I think I'm ready to get the last few chapters done then onto the sequel! (:

Kass_april Kass_april