Loose Change (Harry Styles) [BOOK 2]

It's been about three weeks since I saw Harry. My father has people watching me day and night. Yes night as well. Two people literally sit at the corner of the room and watch me while I sleep. To say it's creepy and overprotective is an understatement. It's insane!
Everything right now is just terrible. My father hardly even talks to me anymore. He's like a completely new person. He treats me coldly and just tough.
All the people in the shelter glare at me with hatred. I guess from the incident with Harry.
I miss the sun rise dearly. It was one of my closest friends. I know a sunrise isn't a person, but I connect to it in some way. I just miss it.
I don't think I'm even going to be able to breathe fresh air ever again. I feel as if I'm locked into this cold and dirty dungeon that's eating at my soul slowly. I wouldn't be surprised if I wake up tomorrow with grey hair and many wrinkles. This shouldn't be how a young person like me should be living her life. Yes, I don't have money or even a home, but at least I lived through nature, adventure, curiosity, art, and everything that is worth breathing for.
All I can do now is draw and talk to Rose. Rose is the little girl Harry and I found freezing in the abandoned neighborhood. She's ten years old, but seems more mature than any young kid I've ever met. We have had many serious conversations and she is just... she's different. Her soul is like a flower...like a beautiful rose. That's probably why her mother called her that.
Her mother...I remember the conversation we had the day after the Harry thing. She saw me staring at the window from my bed and walked up to me.
"Are you okay?"
I turn my head to the side to see the thin little girl looking up at me. She's still wearing my jacket.
She looks like she has been through a lot and I don't think she's old enough to understand the situation so I lie.
"I'm fine... I'm just looking at the birds."
She sits down next to me and begins to stare out the window like me.
"I wonder if my mom's the one that's picking at the crumb or the one that's trying to flap there wings." she whispers.
I turn my head to her, confused.
"What do you mean?" I ask a little curious.
She looks up at me and gives me a soft smile.
"What's your name?" she asks.
"Jane."
"Jane...Like Wendy's daughter." She states.
"Wendy?"
"Ya you know... Wendy from Peter Pan. She ended up growing up and having a daughter. She named her Jane. Like you."
I raise one eyebrow.
"Ya... well I'm definitely not her. She got to go to Neverland and be free while I'm stuck in here for the rest of my life." I say while looking back at the window.
"So that's why you're looking at the window."
She just met me and she already got me to open up. Who is this girl?
"You're very mature for your age." I reply, not answering her question.
She chuckles a little.
"Not really."
"What's your name?" I ask.
"Rose."
"How old are you?"
"Ten. At least I think I am."
I raise one eyebrow at her.
"You think? How do you not know?"
This time she turns her head back to the window and smiles as a bird begins to peck at a puddle of water.
"I think that one's my mom." She whispers as she points to the window.
I follow where she's pointing to and I look back at her, waiting for her to continue.
"I was born in Mexico... My mother moved here with me. She wanted to start a new life here. She loved it here. We had a small little house and she worked as a seamstress. She used to make me many dresses and I would always twirl around in them. They we're the prettiest dresses I've ever seen."
Why is she telling me this? I guess she has had no one to talk to, so I'm all she has at the moment. Her mother sounds like she was a beautiful person. But by the way she's speaking and how she mentioned the birds, I don't think this story is going to have a happy ending.
"I bet they we're." I retort.
She looks at me and smiles as she nods.
"They really we're. She would even make the same dress for herself and we would match. We would always dance together in them and she used to call me her 'reina'."
"Reina?"
I think it's a Spanish word, but I'm unsure.
"Ya. It means queen in Spanish."
She begins to sniffle a little and she turns her gaze back to the window.
"What happened next?" I ask.
"She used to tell me that she was always jealous of the birds. That they we're always so free and happy looking. She told me that one day we would become birds together. That we will finally be free one day..."
I rest my hand on her shoulder comfortingly.
"One day we we're home and I was in my room sleeping. She was sewing a torn up dress in her room. I remember that day... I'll never forget. I felt her grab me and hold me close to her. She covered my mouth and hid us in a closet."
"Why?"
Her eyes begin to gloss and I can't even imagine how hard this must be for her to confess.
"A man with a 'pistola' or gun came into our house... We we're hiding from him. I was six years old...My mom tried to calm me down by singing a Spanish lullaby to me. I had no idea what was happening and I was really scared...He ended up finding us..."
"What ended up happening?"
This girl...this innocent small girl is telling me her story and I'm being very rude by pushing her to continue. I hate it when people ask me questions, yet I'm suffocating this small, strong girl with mine. What is wrong with me?
"She finally became a bird." She whispers.
I feel my heart begin to beat slower and slower.
"The man told me to not tell anyone or he would go after me...Who would I even have to tell? All of my family is in Mexico and I was six... I didn't know what to do...I became alone and I didn't even know what day it was until the nice grey haired lady told me today."
Katherine.
I put my hand back to my sides and I continue looking at the window.
"Why are you telling me this?" I ask.
She wipes her wet face and takes a deep breath.
"I don't know... I feel like we're the same in a way... The lady also told me you have a father, but not a mother. Is she a bird too?"
"No."
I know she wants a more detailed answer than that, but I just can't relive anything right now... Especially not now.
"She just left." I add.
I owe her a little information.
I glance at her and I see how she just nods a little.
"That one's definitely her." I say.
"What?"
I look back at the window and I point to it.
"The bird over there. It's the prettiest one. It has to be her."
I look back at her to see how she's smiling real big.
"It has to."
Ever since then, we talk every day.
She's still very skinny, but she's recovering. Katherine and the other volunteers feed her a little more food each day. If they give her a load of food all at once, it will actually make her worse. So it's going to take a while for her to recover fully. But she's getting there.
I heard Katherine talking on the phone to some foster homes the other day. She thinks it will be best for her, but I don't know. Having to go to different families all the time... Sure it's better than her starving and living outside, but she deserves more...better.
I've only known Rose for a few weeks now, but I feel like we've known each other longer. She's like a little sister and I don't know what I'm going to do when she has to leave. She knows about the foster care thing, but I don't know how she feels about it. She never wants to talk about it. So I never mention it anymore.
So right now we're enjoying each other's company as much as we can.
"Hi Rose." I say as I walk up to her bed. I sit at the edge as she begins to sit up straight.
"Jane..."
I roll my eyes and I chuckle.
"Sorry, I mean Hola Rose!"
She begins to laugh.
She's been trying to teach me some Spanish. It's so amusing how annoyed she gets when I look at her confused while she explains. Her English is really good. I remember her telling me that her mother used to teach her by reading books in English to her.
"Hola Jane." She states as she smiles satisfied.
"Watcha up to?" I ask with a small smile.
"Nothing. I'm kind of bored." She responds.
"Don't you mean aburrido?" I say.
She chuckles and nods.
"Ya very, very aburrido."
"Me too. I wish my dad wasn't so strict about everything. I really miss going to the park."
She knows about my love for the park and how I love drawing over there.
"Why don't you draw?" She suggests.
I sigh.
"I try, but my mind is as caged as I am. I need inspiration, you know?"
She nods in understanding and begins to look up at the ceiling. She's thinking.
"What?" I ask.
She shakes her thoughts and puts her long dark brown hair on the side of her face, beginning to braid it.
"Well I was just thinking of an idea...never mind it's stupid and it'll never work."
"Idea? Idea for what? Tell me."
She continues to braid her hair as she looks up at me. She opens her mouth but quickly closes it and shakes her head.
"Tell me!" I persist.
She let's go of her hair and places her index finger on her chapped lips.
"Shhh. Fine, I'll tell you. Just...Come over here." She whispers.
She begins to look around the room as she motions me to come closer to her.
"I was just thinking that maybe I can help you be able to go to the park." She whispers into my ear.
I feel my eyes widen.
"What!? Tell me!"
"SHH!"
"Sorry...Tell me." I say in a quieter tone.
She laughs a little and rolls her eyes.
"I was thinking that I could pretend that I'm in pain or something and everyone would focus their attention on me instead of you and you can escape. But just to go to the park."
I wrap my arms around her skinny body and I hug her tight from excitement.
"You would do that for me?" I ask as I pull away.
"I would of course, but I'm not sure if it would work."
"Why?" I ask as my hope drops a little.
"Isn't your dad here?" She asks.
"No, he's at an interview right now." I respond.
She raises her eyebrows and looks up again.
"Then maybe this could work.
She cocks an eyebrow at me and begins to smile.
"Let's do this." She adds.
...
"You have everything?" she asks.
I nod my head and hold my sketch book and pen tighter in my grasp. I'm so excited and nervous at the same time.
"Okay." She retorts as she takes a deep breath. I can tell she's nervous and I really appreciate that she's doing this for me. I really need fresh air.
We're standing in the corner of the cafeteria and we're pretending to laugh and talk.
"Then the horse spit all over him." I state very loud as her and I force out laughs.
I have no idea what I just said and I know she doesn't either, but whatever.
"That's hilarious! One day I- I-I" Rose begins to say as her fake smile drops. She places her hand over her chest for dramatic effect and she slowly falls to the ground.
And so it begins.
"Rose! Are you okay!?!" I comment as I bend down.
She sneakily winks at me.
"I-I-can't breathe. My chest, I-I" She whispers as she begins to breathe heavily with her eyes shut tight as if she's in actual pain.
She is doing a very good job. People are actually believing us! Different people begin to crowd around us.
"HELP!" I yell out.
More and more people begin to run up to us, the crowd getting larger.
I get up and I run to the front of the shelter, where some volunteers are.
"GUYS, ROSE JUST FELL AND I-I DON"T KNOW WHAT TO DO!" I belt out.
I see Katherine and four other volunteer's eyes widen as they run to the cafeteria.
When the room is completely empty, I smile in satisfaction and I quickly run out of the shelter. It worked! It actually worked! I know I'm going to get in very deep trouble for this, but I could care less right now. I begin to twirl around, holding my sketchbook to my chest as I close my eyes. I take a deep breath and all I want to do is skip down the sidewalk like a small giddy child.
There are people around, so I can't...so instead I begin to walk with the biggest smile on my face. I know it's only been a few weeks, but I've missed the outside world. I've missed the texture of the pine cones, the smell of bread being taken out of the oven from the bakery in the corner, the way the morning dew twinkles in the light.
I take a deep breath and I smile even wider. I wonder what I'm going to draw today. Maybe a flower...No maybe I can draw a frog next to the lake or maybe ev-
"Is that her?"
I turn around to see a girl talking to her friend. They're both staring at me...Are they talking about me? No they can't be. I mean why would they?
I shrug and turn back around, continuing to walk.
"I think that is!? Didn't they say that she was homeless? I mean look at her."
I turn back around and I walk up to them. Who do they think they are? I'm tired of being stepped on by snobs who think they're better than me.
They're eyes widen.
"Why are you both following me?" I ask, angered.
The one on the left begins to observe my every move and I'm starting to be freaked out. I don't like people staring at me. Never have, never will.
"Just leave me alone." I spit out as I turn around and stomp off.
"Jane?"
I stop in my tracks and I feel all the breath within me come out. I feel frozen as my eyes widen.
"You're Jane aren't you?" The girl's friend says as she walks up to me.
"H-how?" I begin.
They both look at each other and begin to squeal and smile as they type something into their phones quickly.
"Oh my gosh! Mary is never going to believe this!" One of them states excitedly.
"Who cares about Mary! What about twitter!" the other girl states.
What?
I'm afraid.
My hands begin to sweat as I hold on to my sketchbook tighter.
What am I still doing here?
I turn around and I quickly run away from those two lunatics.
How do they know me?
"Jane!" I hear one of them yell out.
"Leave me alone!" I scream as I continue running.
I have to find the park. They can't possibly find me there.
My hopes begin to rise as I spot the park sign. Finally.
I don't hear footsteps anymore and I feel relief spread throughout my body as I fall to the floor.
I hold on to the grass blades and I take a deep breath.
Calm down. Calm down. They're gone. They're gone.
"Jane!" I hear a male voice say.
I look up and I look to the side to see a strange looking man with a camera running up to me. W-what?
I quickly get up and I begin to walk back slowly.
"Is that her?" "Jane!" "Jane Weck!"
More and more people begin to run towards me and I feel my body tensing. How do they know my name? How do they know my last name? How?
My feet are cemented to the floor as about fifty people crowd around me in a circle.
"Jane, why we're you with Harry?" "Why was he holding a little girl?" "We're you one of his one night stands?" "Where is he now?"
My knees begin to go weak and I fall to the floor.
Flashes and microphones are shoved to my face.
So many eyes, so many voices. I'm drowning. I'm drowning. I can't breathe.
"What's that book for?" "Did Harry give that to you?" "Are you meeting Harry here?"
More and more questions are beginning to stack up on top of me.
I curl into a ball and I look down at the floor, trying to avoid there glances.
I feel as if someone's sitting on my chest and my lungs are filled with cement. I can't breathe.
"She's homeless!" "How does it to feel to be so poor?" "Does Harry intimidate you?" "Are you jealous of Harry's fame?"
Slow breaths. Slow, deep breaths Jane. Remember what used to happen? All you have to do is take deep breaths.
I feel little air begin to leave my mouth at a rapid pace. I can't. I'm sorry.
My body begins to shake uncontrollably and I try to calm myself down.
"Jane!" "Jane!" "Jane!"
More and more people begin to say.
I can't take it anymore. I take one last breath before my eyes close and my mind goes completely black.
...
My eyes slowly begin to open as a familiar sound is echoed in my ear. The sound of a machine...
I put my hand over my mouth and I feel a breathing mask over it.
Dang. It happened.
But wait...where am I?
I take off the mask and I begin to look around the room.
Everything looks so familiar.
I grab the blanket that is covering me and I bring it up to my face. It's white.
I grab the pillow from under my head and I place it in front of me.
It's white as well.
I look to the left corner of the room's door to see a couch chair. There is also a recognizable vintage white dresser.
My eyes widen.
"No! No!" I blurt out.
No. This can't be. It just can't.
The room door slams open and two elderly looking men in white coats come in.
"You have to put that back on." One of them says, pointing to the breathing mask.
"I-I-Who are you? How did I get here?!" I yell nervously.
"Calm down sweetie. We're doctors. We're here to help. You had a panic attack." One of them says as he walks up to me and places the mask back on me.
The other one begins to write something down on his clipboard.
I don't know these people. I-I-I wish I never left. I should've listened to my father.
"What happened? Is she awake?"
I turn my gaze back on the door to see Harry walking in the room.
He quickly runs next to my side as his eyes meet mine.
"Jane are you okay? This is all my fault! I'm so sorry I-"
"Why am I at your house?" I ask, interrupting his apology.
"You we're lying unconscious on the ground when I found you. I thought it was worse and I didn't know what else to do, so I took you to the only place I knew."
"Wha-"
The memory of all the people suffocating me with their polluted words begin to flood back into my mind and I feel myself shaking again.
"How did you find me? How did you get through? H-how di-"
I feel myself begin to calm as he holds my hand and squeezes it tight.
"Shh. Don't worry about what happened. You need rest. You've been through enough today...you need sleep." He whispers.
"How long have I been sleeping? What about my dad?" I ask.
He begins to rub circles on the top of my hand with his thumb softly.
"You need rest. You just had a panic attack. You don't need to stress yourself out more. I'll take care of everything and I'll answer all your questions when you are well rested." He says calmly.
I stare into his eyes and I feel water begin to form in mine.
"H-harry. I'm scared. I-I" I shut my eyes closed, trying to hold back the tears but fail miserably as they continue to fall anyway.
"I won't let that happen to you ever again. Do you hear me? Never! I'll protect you Jane. I will." He says as his voice cracks a little.
I open my eyes to see how guilty he looks. He looks as if he just killed someone.
"Harry..."
"Go to sleep. I'll take care of everything. I will." He says as if he's trying to convince himself.
He let's go of my hand and begins to walk away.
"Harry." I practically whisper.
He turns around, right before he walks out.
"S-stay. Please."
He shuts his eyes tight and takes a deep breath as he walks to the couch chair.
"Okay...okay."

Notes