Loose Change (Harry Styles) [BOOK 2]

I run straight through the recognizable double doors with my hands covering my wet face, and I feel a cold breeze hitting me once I fall to the floor on my knees.
Why in the world does my father have Harry's number and why in the world was he calling him? Thoughts are suffocating my mind and all I want to do is be free of them.
You don't think he actually called, because he misses you does he? Don't be so pathetic. You should know by now that what he did is something he would never take back. He has freedom now and can finally move on with his life without you.
I cover my ears with my hands and I try to take deep breaths. I feel my heart beating fast inside my chest and I try to control the rapid speed, but it's as if I have lost all self control.
"Jane! Jane don't worry okay, everything is going to b- shit." I hear Niall say as he nervously begins to rush to my side.
He bends down next to me and tries to help me sit up, but all I feel is my chest rising up quickly as well as my head beginning to fuzz.
"Shit. Shit. Shit. Uhhh hold on Jane. I'll be right back, just try to breathe slowly. I-I'll be right back." He states in an uneasy tone as I feel his hand leave my back and I hear him leave.
That familiar feeling of cement filling my lungs and choking me returns and I already know what's going to happen. I would sigh, but I can't slow my breathing down enough to do so.
"Here. Use this okay."
Niall returns and practically sprints to me before he places an inhaler in my mouth, pumping its medication into my body.
I feel relief and when he pulls it away, I take a deep breath and I try to put myself back together.
I feel myself sniffle and I quickly wipe the moisture off my face, not being able to look at Niall.
"Thanks." I mutter as I stare at my hands.
"Jane. Do you want me to call Harry becau-"
I open my eyes and I stare into his blue eyes.
"I just want to be alone right now." I whisper.
He takes a deep breath and scratches the back of his neck.
"I'm sorry Jane, but you just had a panic attack. I think it would be better if you went back inside and rested." he says honestly.
Tears begin to form in my eyes again and I clench my fists slightly.
"God. Everything's not going by plan you know? I planned to be with my father until he found a job and maybe me as well, we would find a proper home, and when I got enough money, I would go to college and he would maybe even find a wife. I would visit on the holidays and or just whenever I could and I would play with my new baby siblings, and-"
More tears run down my face as I hit the floor with my right hand out of frustration.
"He doesn't want me as his daughter anymore Niall. And I just don't understand what I did wrong!" I add.
I feel him place his hand on my shoulder and I look up at him to see worry and pity in his features, causing me to feel sick to my stomach.
"Oh please don't feel bad for me. Don't pity me. I beg you. I-I-"
I take a deep breath and I shake my shoulder, making him take his hand off of it.
"I have always defended Harry...but now, I think that maybe Louis has been right all along..." I hear him say, sounding as if he is speaking his thoughts.
I look at him with a blank expression on my face, because right now I don't know if I disagree with him or if I think he is one hundred percent accurate.
I look back down on my lap and I crisscross my legs in my seated position.
"C-can you maybe call Liam and the other guys to come over?" I question, with my gaze still on my black sweatpants.
"Um ya sure. If I may ask, why?"
I look up at him and I shrug.
"I don't know. You guys are just really nice and I just need to be distracted from my thoughts right now. Besides, you guys are all I really have."
I whisper the last part, hoping he didn't hear, but by the friendly hug he gives me, I know he did.
"We will always be here whenever you need us okay?" I hear him say as he lets go.
I just nod my head and I force a soft smile.
He mirrors my expression and helps me up.
"Thank you again for helping me. By the way, I was just wondering...where did you get that inhaler from?" I question, a bit curious.
"Like I said before, I've had panic attacks as well." He simply says.
I nod my head in understanding and I begin to walk back inside with Niall.
"I'll go call Liam now to see if they can come."
"Okay." I retort as I saunter to the TV room, plopping myself on the couch once I get there.
I slip off my shoes and I put my legs on the couch as well.
I sit up straight and I hug my legs as I pull them to my chest, in a comforting way.
I really hope Niall doesn't tell the boys what happened and why I want them to come over. I kind of want to hear Harry's story before I do anything dramatic, even if he might lie about the whole thing like he usually does whenever I ask him a question.
I hold my legs tighter and I rest my chin on my knees.
I miss my old life, my friends, my family, and just the happiness and completeness I felt when I was younger. I want to gain that back, but with everything that's happening now, I highly doubt I will ever witness that again.
If my father was here right now he would probably hug me tight and tell me what he used to tell me all the time when mom left, "The world is big, dark even, and even though you might feel small right now, remember that I'm here with you and two small things together makes something big."
I remember how he used to hand me two small puzzle pieces and would make me put them together to show me how whenever I add another piece to the puzzle together, the picture gets bigger and more vivid.
I know my father was sad and even depressed when she left, but he did whatever it took to keep the smile on my face, even if he had to fake a smile. I used to think he was my very own personal super hero, he even told me that one day I called him super dad, which would explain why he used to wear a cape all the time when he was around me.
I chuckle a little at the thought, but feel numb right after.
I don't understand why things are happening in my life anymore and I'm beginning to think that it's fate trying to make me miserable just to amuse itself. I really just wish an erase or rewind button existed just so I can rewind and start my life from the beginning. At least so I could prepare myself for all of this and maybe even try to change the outcome, but the thing is that a small part of me wouldn't change anything... That small part of me thinks that I would have felt uncompleted even if none of this happened, because if none of these events occurred, I wouldn't have met Harry.
I feel my lips separate at my own thoughts. I shake my head and I comb my hair with my fingers.
What are you thinking Jane? I think the inhaler might of made you crazy somehow.
The voice I heard in my dream begins to echo through my mind, making me shiver.
'Because I want to protect you... That's why.'
It was Harry's voice...It had to be. Right when he said that the nightmare I had changed...
Maybe, just maybe I-
"Liam can't come because he's eating dinner with his girlfriend, but Zayn and Louis are coming."
I twirl my hair around my finger and I take a deep breath.
"Louis. As in Louis Tomlinson?"
Niall chuckles and walks up to me.
"No as in Louis Walsh." He states sarcastically, causing himself to laugh right after.
I raise an eyebrow in confusion.
"You seriously need to catch up with the times Jane."
I just roll my eyes and I throw a pillow at him, before he plops himself on the other couch and turns on the television.
Louis Tomlinson is coming. Just peachy.
...
The door bell begins to ring, interrupting the E news show Niall is making me watch. Apparently it's one of his favorite shows, and for his sake I pretended I was interested when in reality, I felt bored half to death. All they really talk about are these people called the Kardashians.
"I'll get it." Niall states before he gets off the couch and scurries to the front.
I nod my head and begin to analyze the split ends I have.
"What in the hell is that?" I hear Niall yell from the front.
I turn my head to the left and I scoot myself to the end of the couch to see if I can hear better.
"Lighten up. From what Liam told me, this girl needs to let loose." Louis' voice echoes through the house.
This girl? Is he talking about me? And what does he mean by let loose?
I feel my eyes widen when I see Niall and the rest of the guys walk inside the room....Louis' holding a bottle of Jack Daniels.
"If you think I'm doing that, then you are completely wrong." I say.
Louis smirks and raises his eyebrows.
"Well hello to you too." Louis responds in a stupid annoying tone.
Niall turns to Zayn and scowls at him.
"I don't know mate. I think we should actually do this. We've been stressed ourselves and anyways it's not like we're doing it at a club. Ease up man." Zayn comments.
Zayn, the guy who wouldn't even let me go to the bathroom by myself when he had to take care of me, is really suggesting me to get drunk. Wow, Kat was right when she said that anything is possible.
Niall looks at me with his arms crossed, as if he's waiting for my answer. He's obviously in.
"I'm only freaking nineteen guys. I'm under age." I say.
Louis walks to me and sits himself right beside me.
He places his arm around me and I try to shake him off, but fail due to the tight grip he has around me.
"Two years isn't a fucking big deal. Don't act like such a priss. And Niall said you wanted a distraction."
He then places the Bottle on my lap.
"And trust me...You won't remember anything." He adds in a hushed tone.
I stare at the glass bottle and then I glance at all the boys.
Heck with it.
"Get me a glass." I announce, causing Louis to smile victoriously.
"Do what the woman says." Louis replies.
Niall stands still, staring at me and I can tell that he's contemplating with himself whether or not he should do it.
"Niall are we going to do this or-" Louis interrupts Niall's deep thought.
"Oh um ya of course." Niall retorts before he turns around and saunters to the kitchen to grab glasses I'm guessing.
"Trust me. In a few minutes you're going to forget about everything." Louis whispers in my ear.
I hold the bottle tighter in my grasp and I'm hoping that he's right. Even though I hate to admit it, Louis usually is right.
Niall returns with four small glasses and I can't help but cock an eyebrow in confusion, causing Louis and Zayn to laugh.
"Why are the cups so small?" I ask.
Louis pulls me closer and pats the top of my head like what and owner does to his dog.
"Oh Jane. Oh dear Jane." he states.
"Don't do that and are we doing shots or something?" I question as I push Louis and his arm off of me.
I don't really know a lot about drinking since all my life I tried to avoid it in every way.
Niall , Zayn, and Louis all sit down on the floor in the middle of the room, Niall placing the glasses in the middle.
Louis glances at me and pats the spot next to him.
"Are you coming or what priss?"
I take a deep breath and I get up, holding the bottle in my right hand. I sit down next to Zayn, making Louis smirk that freaking stupid smug smirk he always does.
I hand the bottle to Niall and when he opens it, I feel my hands beginning to shake a little out of nervousness. I don't know why I'm doing this and why I'm not walking away from it. I guess I really just need an escape.
Niall begins to pour the liquid into each glass and all I can do is stare at them.
I feel a hand on my shoulder and I turn my head to the right to see Zayn giving me a reassuring smile which I return.
He places his hand on his lap and I sigh before I reach for one of the glasses.
Might as well get this over with.
Louis stops my hand before I get the glass and I look at him confused.
"What?" I ask.
He chuckles and I roll my eyes. Why does he always have to laugh at me?
"Calm down there priss. We're not just going to drink."
The heck?
"First, stop calling me priss and second, then what are we going to exactly do with this then?"
Louis is sitting directly across from me with Niall on his right, then Zayn, and then me.
Louis and Zayn smile at each other and Niall just looks like he doesn't really care, that he's up for anything.
"You see, we kinda play like a game. We just ask each other questions and if you decide to not answer, then you take a shot." Zayn explains to me.
I narrow my eyes at Louis.
"What type of questions?" I ask.
Louis winks making me want to gag.
Louis is wearing a dark blue tank top with a grey hoodie with matching sweatpants, his hair is messily styled making him look very attractive. He is really an attractive guy, but it's just his attitude that makes him look like a complete dirt bag. Zayn looks laid back as well, wearing a black tank top and black skinnies with a white snapback.
"So first question." Louis begins.
Oh great.
"How many people have you fucked this year so far?"
I practically choke on my own spit and Niall nudges Louis in the shoulder and shakes his head in disapproval.
Louis sighs.
"Fine. We'll start off simple. How many people have you kissed this year so far?" Louis asks instead, and I mentally thank Niall for that.
"Who else am I going to kiss besides my girlfriend?" Niall says, causing me to chuckle.
"Pussy." Louis remarks.
Niall shrugs and Louis turns his attention to Zayn.
"Perrie and that's it mate."
Louis rolls his eyes.
"Guys we can't just ask baby ass questions. We have to get in deep. No pun intended." Louis adds.
I roll my eyes.
"I have never had sex with anyone Louis so this year is zero for me like how it has been for my whole existence." I answer, just so we can move on to the next question.
This doesn't seem fun and I already regret doing it.
"You're a virgin?" Louis asks.
I stare at him with a no duh face.
"Let's see. I was freaking homeless for five years, ya I don't think anyone would try anything."
"What, no one tried paying you or anything?"
I literally want to freaking kill him right now.
"Louis what the fuck bro." Zayn intervenes.
Louis ignores him and just continues looking at me.
"No. I'm not a slut okay. I don't understand why you always assume that I am one. Like let it go." I state.
"I was just joking." Louis defends.
"Well no one's laughing mate, so let's just move on and just try not to act like such an ass." Niall comments.
I turn my gaze to the cups and I just await the next question. Since it's Niall, I really don't think he's going to ask anything vulgar.
He begins to fiddle with his fingers as he thinks.
"Ummm what's the worst thing you've ever done?"
"I once stole a magazine from a gas stop store one time." Zayn announces.
I wait for Louis to say something, but he doesn't say anything and instead is staring at the glasses in the middle like how I was before. He's thinking deeply about something. He's probably trying to think of which of the things to pick, since I'm sure that he's done many horrible things.
"I once stole a twenty dollar bill from a ladies purse." I admit.
I catch all of the boy's attention and they seem a little stunned.
"I know it's bad, but she was really rude to my father and we needed money for food. We hadn't eaten in two days when I took it. Besides, she looked like she was wealthy so she must have more." I defend.
They all look at me in silence and I feel a little uncomfortable.
"Two days?" Louis asks in a serious tone.
I nod my head.
"You said you we're homeless for five years. What about before? Why did you become homeless in the first place?" Louis continues.
I feel my lips part at his question and I quickly take a glass and I swallow the liquid as fast as I can.
I scrunch up my nose at the burning sensation in my throat and I try not to gag. That didn't taste too good, but it was a rush.
"Why did you do that?" Niall asks.
"I thought if I didn't want to answer a question that I had to drink one of these."
Silence.
"But that's only if the question is for the whole group. Not just you..." Louis states.
"Ya, but it gave me an excuse to not answer the question, so let's continue because I really want to get drunk."
Zayn and Niall shrug in unison and Louis just continues to stare at me.
"It's your turn to answer mate." Zayn says.
Louis glances at Zayn and shakes his head a little.
"Oh ya um. Well once I pushed my sister off her bed."
I wait for him to laugh and actually tell us the truth, but he looks completely serious about his answer.
I burst into uncontrollable laughter, Zayn and Niall soon joining me.
"What?" Louis asks.
"You got to be fucking kidding me." Zayn remarks.
"What the hell. I'm fucking serious." Louis replies.
"Do you know how many times you've acted like a bitch to Harry in front of all of us, not to mention all the slut comments about me? I highly doubt that pushing your sister is the worst thing." I comment.
Louis shoots daggers at me, causing me to laugh more.
"It's always Harry with you huh!? Harry Harry Harry. Why don't you get over it. he's never going to fucking like you. And if he is flirting with you it's because all he wants to do is get a one night stand. So stop fucking defending him and get over yourself." Louis says.
Niall hits Louis' arm and Zayn places his hand on his forehead, embarrassed for everyone in the group.
"Well Louis." I begin.
Louis crosses his arms and stares me down as I get up from where I am.
I walk up to him and I bend down to his level. I grab his collar and his eyes widen a little as I place my mouth to his ear.
"Tonight I could give less of a fuck." I mutter.
When I pull away I see the shocked expressions evident on everyone's face and I smirk as I walk to the middle of the distorted circle, grabbing two glasses. I swallow each one and I shut my eyes closed before I place them back on the floor.
When I sit back down next to Zayn, I notice how the room is still silent and two sets of crystal blue eyes and one of light brown ones are on me in observation.
"Well are you guys going to just stare at me the whole night or are we going to drink?"
Louis glances at Niall and nods.
"Drink!" Niall yells before he pores more of the liquid into the empty glasses, hands grabbing each one at the same time.

Notes