Loose Change (Harry Styles) [BOOK 2]

Harry and Niall left to the studio about an hour ago. I don't know what time they're going to come back, but I already feel bored out of my mind.
I would normally just walk out of the house and roam the area, but one, I don't want to scare Harry and or Niall if they come back early and I'm not here, two, I have nothing to lock the house with, and three, I don't want to get lost. So it looks like I'm stuck here for a few hours.
I sigh as I walk into the kitchen. To be honest I'm not really hungry, but there isn't anything else to do.
I decide to just serve myself a cup of orange juice and I slowly sit down in a chair that belongs to the large, empty kitchen table. I take a sip as my eyes begin to observe the mug. It's a pretty ivory white mug that is a little chipped and has a few scratches, but is good enough I guess. Wow, am I really that bored that I'm observing cups?
I bring the cup up to my eyes and I begin to rub the handle with my thumb. I sigh. I guess I am.
I place it down and I shut my eyes for a quick second. I really wish Katherine or Rose we're here...well Rose especially. She can make anything interesting and I just love talking to her.
I wonder if Katherine and Rose even know where I am or what happened with my dad... I take a deep breath and I place my head in my hands as I groan. They most likely do.
I know Rose won't pity me but I can't say the same for Katherine. Dang. Now she's never going to look at me the same and she most likely loathes my father. She's very protective of me for some reason. I wouldn't consider her like a second mom, but more of a grandmother. But maybe she is like a mother, but I wouldn't really know...I don't really know what a 'mother' is. I can't help but chuckle a little at my thoughts, Katherine used to tell me that I was an over thinker. I think she was right.
I try to take another sip of juice, but realize how the cup is now empty. I lazily get out of the chair and I walk over to the sink. I quickly and carefully wash it, making it shine and I place it back in the cupboard.
Now what? Should I go back to the balcony?
I sink my teeth into my bottom lip as I stare up at the high ceiling. Maybe I can explore the house, learn it a little better.
I smile a little. Ya, that actually is a good idea.
I begin to twirl a piece of my hair around my right index finger in a slow motion, the smell of strawberry shampoo filling my nostrils as I begin to walk down one of the many long hallways.
The hallway is familiar, it's the hallway with all the bedrooms including mine. I know I've walked through it before, but I've never really looked inside the rooms. I remember there being a laundry room and well my room. The laundry room wasn't very exciting to see and I see my room every day.
I shrug and begin to open a few doors. The first one is a huge closet filled with many T-shirts, dress shirts, pants, jackets, and a pile of shoes. They're all men's clothing and I can already tell that they belong to Niall. I don't think Harry would ever wear bright clothing, but then again I don't really know him that well. Sure I know simple facts about him, but I don't think I know him that personally yet, but the thing is that I think I want to...I want to know him better. My heart begins to beat faster as Niall's voice plays in my mind.
'Nothing...it's just that I was overhearing you guys and he hasn't done that in months.'
'Laugh.'
Has he really not laughed in months? I also remember Liam telling me how he would lock himself in his room and would be distant from everyone... I wonder what happened to him that has caused and maybe is still causing to him to feel this miserable. I begin to fiddle with my fingers as I walk out of the giant closet, trying to shake my thoughts...I can't already be feeling this 'attachment' towards someone I haven't known that long. It isn't normal and it kind of freaks me out.
I bite my bottom lip as I close the door and continue strolling. The next few rooms are a bathroom, the laundry room, and another closet, but this time it was filled with folded towels and unopened bottles of soap and extra toilet paper. I'm guessing it's like a 'storage' closet.
I shrug a little and begin to turn a copper colored door knob that belongs to the next door.
The room is pitch black which confuses me, because almost every room in this 'mansion' has at least one window. My hand begins to search the walls for the switch and I feel both of my eyebrows raise once it does. I feel my eyes widen a little.
The room is completely empty. They're no windows and the walls are completely blank white. It resembles one of those rooms people place psychiatric patients wearing strait jackets in and I feel a little uncomfortable. I feel my feet begin to walk inside and I drag my hand lightly on the wall as I walk around the whole room. I wonder why it's so empty... They're so many things you can do with this small space. I wonder why Harry and Niall don't just make this into another guest room, Liam or any of the other boys would be able to sleep in a bed instead of a couch like Liam had to do.
It's also not my house, and I shouldn't be thinking these controlling thoughts.
Whatever I guess.
I take one last glance at the empty vast space before I turn the light off and walk out.
I wonder if they're planning to do anything with it and I also wonder why I care so much... Well I guess since there is nothing else, this is the most fun I can do...over think. I mean I would watch a movie or something, but I don't really know how to work the TV and I also much rather find something better to do with my time.
I can't help but stop in my tracks as well as feel time stop around me as I stand in front of a room with an open door. Harry's room.
I mean I've been it before, but I've never actually 'seen' it. No, it's none of your business! It's his privacy, know your boundaries!
I continue staring at the white door in front of me as my curiosity grows even bigger.
Dang. The heck with it!
I push the door slowly open and it makes a creaking sound that sends a shiver down my spine. For some reason I feel that if I go in there, Harry will walk in and catch me. I can't have that, but then again he's at the studio with Niall and the other guys.
I begin to walk silently into the room, observing each little detail of his huge bedroom. If I had paper right now, I could possibly draw an accurate and vivid picture of this whole space. Maybe that's what I can do! I'm so foolish sometimes.
I roll my eyes at my own ignorance as I continue walking. I don't know why, but I always like to trace everything with my finger. I feel as if I'm drawing it without actually drawing it. I trace the lining of the pattern that is on his wardrobe drawers, the handles, and even the edge of the wardrobe itself.
I walk to the big window that is on the left side of his room, where he stood when I caught him that day thinking... There's a view of the backyard, revealing the auburn colored wooden fence and the many purple flowers spread across the land. It's enchanting looking... It even looks magical in a way.
I feel a small smile creep on my face as bright light emitted through the window hits my face as well as brighten the whole room. Wow. I now know why he picked this as his bedroom, if I we're him, I would've done the same.
I move away from the window and I begin to walk to his un made bed. I kind of want to make it, but I deny myself because it would make it obvious that I was here. The bed is even bigger than mine and has a fluffy white comforter with matching pillow cases like the ones on my bed.
I guess he likes white.
I continue looking around, but am stopped as my eyes land on his nightstand.
I walk up to it and I carefully grab the paper that is out and placed on it. It's the drawing I drew of him...
It wasn't there when I was in his room with him a few hours ago...Did he look at it when I left? I feel myself gulp as heat rises to my cheeks. Was he thinking about me?
I glance back at his night stand and my hopes fall flat when my eyes land on several crumpled up pieces of paper and many pens. He was probably just cleaning out his drawer. Ugh, I expect too much. I place my drawing back where it was and I observe the pieces of paper. They're all just small receipts, except one. I grab it and I hold it up to my face. It's a list of phone numbers? Ya, many phone numbers are listed on this sheet of paper, but one catches my attention. The last one is circled repeatedly and has many sketched out stars surrounding it. I wonder why that phone number is so important that it needs that much 'attention'. I shake my head a little as I place it back. It's none of my business.
Maybe it wasn't such a great idea to be in here. I'm getting too curious about everything and my head is beginning to even hurt a little. Maybe I should take a bath. Ya...a nice bath will take my mind off of things. I walk out of his bedroom hesitantly and I continue walking down to the end of my hallway, leading to my room. Ya...all I need is a bath. I repeat in my mind.
...
That was probably one of the worst baths ever. All I could think about was Katherine and Rose again. Maybe I should talk to her... I wonder if Harry and Niall have a phone book...But even if they do, I think I should wait until they come back to see if I can use the phone. Even though I was practically forced to stay here, I still don't want to be rude to them. It is their stuff, and I should ask for permission first.
I take a deep breath and I sigh as I grab my sketch book and pen. Maybe I should just draw...
I walk back to the kitchen and I begin to draw a rose with a beautiful white bird flying above it.
...
"Jane. Jane." I hear whispered in my ear.
I groan a little as I slowly lift up my head.
I shut my eyes closed tight at the feeling of pain and stiffness in my neck.
"Are you okay?"
I open my eyes slowly to see Harry standing right next to me. I smile slightly as I nod my head. My neck really hurts. Wait where am I?
I hear Harry chuckle beside me as I look around the room, while massaging my neck.
"You're in the kitchen Jane. I guess you we're a little tired."
I look down in front of me to see my almost completed drawing. The rose is completed, but the bird still needs shading.
I chuckle a little as I look back up at Harry who I notice is bent in front of me.
"Ya I guess so." I say.
I feel myself fully wake up at the sight of his smile and dimples. I missed him.
He sits down in the chair next to me and scoots it closer to me.
"What time is it?" I ask.
He takes out his phone and checks the time before placing it on the table.
"Three in the afternoon." he replies.
I groan a little. Wow. I slept for six hours. I pretty much wasted my whole day.
"What?" He asks with a small smile.
"I pretty much spent my whole day sleeping." I complain.
He chuckles as he slides my sketchbook over to him.
His smiles fades as he begins to observe it intensely.
"Wow."
I cock an eyebrow at him.
"What?"
He glances up at me and points to the drawing.
"I wouldn't say you wasted your day. I mean this is...magnificent."
I feel myself blush a little as I look down at the table. I begin to trace the pattern the wood makes with my finger.
"Thanks. But it's not even done."
I feel my stomach twist as his hand is placed on my hand, stopping me from tracing any further. I slowly look up at him, trying my hardest not to blush.
"You're too humble you know. Why can't you take a compliment?" He asks.
I feel my eyes furrow a little in concentration as I try to think of an answer. It's simple. I'm not really that good, but I don't want to tell him that.
"I-I don't know." I mutter as I pull my hand away from under his hand, placing it on my lap.
"Well, you're going to have to get used to them because you're going to hear them a lot."
I turn my head to the side a little in confusion.
"What do you mean?" I ask.
He licks his lips and looks at his fingers for a quick second before looking back at me with a smile.
"Um, why did you decide to draw a rose and a bird? Is there any meaning behind that?" He asks, changing the subject.
Um okay..why couldn't he just answer the question. Dang he always seems like he's hiding something.
I decide to just ignore my thoughts and I answer his question.
"It's kind of a long story..." I retort.
His features become more serious as he stares me in curiosity.
"I like long stories."
I smile a little at his interest as I begin to play with my fingers under the table.
"You know that little girl we helped a few weeks ago?"
He looks passed me, zoning out a little, I can tell he's trying to remember.
He looks back at me and nods.
"Well her name is Rose and I kinda grew a bond, I guess you can say, with her and well...I miss her." I state simply.
He nods in understanding.
"Why did you draw a bird though?" He asks.
I don't know if Rose would appreciate me telling her story since it's so personal, to Harry, so I decide against it.
"She likes birds."
He looks even deeper in my eyes to the point where he's submerged into them. I know he that he can tell that I'm lying. For some reason he always knows, yet he usually doesn't question it.
"Oh. Well that's nice." He replies a little in suspicion.
I nod my head and I slide my sketchbook back to me.
"Harry...Harry I- Nevermind..."
"What is it?" He questions.
I take a deep breath.
"I really miss her...Is it possible that I can maybe call her or if you can even drop me off at the shelter so I can see her in person?"
"I'm sorry, but I don't think it's a very good idea for you to go out of the house and the phone is broken."
"And why would that be a bad idea?" I ask.
Well the phone option is out, even though I don't understand why he can't just lend me his.
He takes a deep breath and tangles his fingers in his hair.
"The news about you still hasn't 'died'. People will mob you again and I kinda can't let you get another attack."
Me and my freaking panic attacks. I hate them with a passion and I wish I was just a freaking normal person that could pass through a crowd with no problem...but I'm not. I guess I'm traumatized by my childhood, but I should've gotten over it already.
"Oh... Well...oh." I say sadly as I look down at my hands with my back now a little slumped over due to my slight exhaustion.
I grab my sketch book and I close it before I walk out of the kitchen and head to my room.
"I think I'm going to go to my room. Thanks." I whisper before I fully leave the kitchen.
I think I hear Harry curse under his breath as I reach the middle of the hallway, but I'm unsure and to be honest, I don't care right now. I'm going to be alone every day, well at least until Harry and Niall come back from the studio. But still...being alone is depressing, and I just want to be happy.
...
I feel someone poking me and I can't help but feel annoyed. Can these people just let me sleep for once?!
I place the pillow over my head trying to block them out.
"Jane."
It's Niall.
I groan and I hear him chuckle a little.
"Jane it's important."
I sigh as I give in and I glance at him from under the pillow.
"What?" I ask in a little bit of a rude tone. I don't care, I'm tired and I can never fully rest in this house.
"Harry and I are about to leave to the studio and you are sadly going to have to get out of bed now." He says with a little smile.
I sit up straight and I place the pillow on my lap as I stare at him with annoyance most likely noticeable in my features.
"What. Um why?"
"Harry ordered a package and it's going to come today. You're going to have to open the door and bring it inside when the delivery guy brings it."
I stretch my arms a little as I yawn.
"It's like seven in the morning Niall. What delivery guy delivers a package at seven in the freaking morning?"
He rolls his eyes.
"Just do it. okay? I gotta go, Harry's waiting for me in the car. See you in a few hours. And remember to open the door right when you hear the doorbell."
I sigh and nod my head as he leaves my room and the house completely.
I walk to the bathroom and I take a bath, I brush my teeth, and I do my hair before I walk back to my room and I change into a blue V-neck and black sweatpants.
As soon as I slip on my socks, the doorbell rings and I can't help but roll my eyes. What mail company ships mail at seven in the morning? It's ridiculous.
The doorbell continues to ring repetitively.
"I'm coming!!!" I yell.
Gosh this guy is annoying.
"I told you I wa-"
I feel my eyes widen as I open the door and my eyes land on Rose who is standing right in front of me. I quickly wrap my arms around her and I hug her for dear life.
"You're hurting me Jane." I hear her say as I continue squishing her.
I let go of her and she walks in before I close and shut the door.
"What are you doing here!?!" I ask in an excited tone.
What? I missed this child so much, it's unbelievable.
She chuckles.
"Why don't you show me to your new room and I'll tell you everything there."
I nod my head and I walk in front of her, leading her to my room. I can't help but laugh as I hear her commenting about how expensive everything looks from behind me.
"This is considered a house!? It looks like a castle!"
I giggle as we finally reach my room and we both walk in.
"Ya, that's what I thought too. It's huge isn't it?"
I sit at the edge of my bed and I pat the spot next to me.
Her mouth is wide open as her eyes roam my room.
"Wow! This is your room!?!"
I laugh again as I nod my head.
She finally sits next to me and she laughs herself as her mind goes back to reality.
"Sorry, I just have never seen anything like this before in person. It's like a dream."
I give her a quick hug.
"I was the exact way, maybe even worse." I state.
She chuckles.
"So now tell me. Why are you here?"
"I don't know. Katherine just told me that she had a surprise for me and just drove me here. When she told me who I was seeing, well I practically jumped up and down. I've missed you so much you know. Everyone there is very boring, well except Katherine."
"I've missed you too Rose. I'm sorry I didn't tell you and Katherine about my where-abouts. I didn't know how to contact you."
Rose nods in understanding.
"It's okay. At first we we're all worried but..."
"You found out about my dad and my 'attack'." I finish for her.
She nods her head again as her face becomes serious.
"I won't pity you Jane. You know that. You're still the same Jane to me, even though you don't deserve what happened to you."
I don't think I will ever understand how this little girl can read my mind so well.
"Ya...well can we change the subject? I don't really want to talk about it..."
"Sorry...Of course we can."
I give her a reassuring smile which she mirrors.
"Anything special happen while I was gone?" I ask, trying to change the subject.
She quickly looks down at her hands and I can tell she feels completely uncomfortable.
"Rose..."
She looks up at me and sighs.
"Katherine...well she finally found one..." she barely whispers.
I rest my hand on her shoulder showing my support.
"Found what?" I ask.
She shuts her eyes closed.
"A foster home...I'm going to one next week..."
I feel my heart stop a little and I quickly pull her into a hug. I rub her back up and down comfortingly as she wraps her arms desperately around mine.
"Jane I'm scared." She whispers.
I can tell she's trying to hold back her tears and I don't think I've ever met a stronger person in my life.
"Shh. It's going to be alright. I'm here and your here right now. Your with me and you're not there yet. Why don't I show you the rest of the house and we can maybe even do something fun." I whisper into her hair as I lightly kiss the top of it.
She pulls me away and nods her head slowly.
"Ya you're right...I'll like that." She mutters.
I know how hard it is for her to talk about the subject of foster care, but I'm honored that she trusts me so much.
I give her a smile and she plasters on a fake one.
...
I just finished showing Rose the balcony, and she found it just as beautiful as I did.
"Wow. Who needs the park when you have that." She remarks.
I chuckle as we walk down the hallway.
"Ya, right? It's one of my favorite rooms in this house."
"How many rooms are here anyway? A million?" She questions as she laughs.
I laugh as well.
"Probably."
"Are there any other cool rooms?" She asks.
"Well they're all pretty similar. They're mostly bedrooms or closets. But yesterday I saw how there is a room that is completely empty. When you walk in, it feels as if you're in a cube."
She raises her eyebrows in curiosity.
"Well let's check it out."
I shrug and decide to show her. Kids her age would probably be bored being in such a room, so empty and desolate, but I have to remember that Rose isn't a normal kid.
"Woah." She blurts out once I turn the light on.
She walks to the middle of the room and lays down on the floor with her arms and legs spread wide open.
"Come over here." She says.
I raise one eyebrow as I lay down next to her, doing what she says.
"Do what I'm doing." She mutters.
I spread my arms and legs, still confused.
"Snow Jane. We're lying on snow." She mutters
I turn my head to the side and I see how her eyes are closed as she's in deep concentration.
"What do you mean?" I ask.
"Close your eyes." She says.
I close my eyes.
"Are your eyes closed?"
"Ya."
"Just imagine Jane. We're in a room filled with snow. I see you making a snowman with my mom."
"Wha-"
"You told me we would do something fun. I want to make a snowman with you and my mom...before I leave next week...it's my last wish."
I open my eyes and I stare at the white roof. I guess it does kind of feel that we're in a room filled with snow. I'm still a little confused, but I decide to play along.
"We need a scarf for the snowman Rose. Can you bring your mom one?" I ask.
I hear her giggle a little.
"Thanks Jane." She says.
"What for?"
"For just going along with it. Even though you think I'm crazy."
"I don't think you're crazy at all. You just a have an amazing imagination. When I walked in here for the first time all I saw was an empty room, but you saw...this."
"I'm a kid. We think silly things."
I chuckle at her remark.
"Well I want to be a kid then."
There's sudden silence in the room and I can't help but close my eyes again.
I begin to imagine snow falling from snow covered tree tops and Rose making a snow angel. A tan woman with long black hair is making a snow angel right beside Rose. They're both smiling.
"I see her Rose... Your mom. I think I see her. She's waving at me and she's beautiful."
I hear her sigh softly beside me.
"You're my sister Jane... I'm gonna miss you a lot."
"I'll try to see if I can visit you. You won't have to miss me, because I'll bother you as much as I can."
I hear her laugh, causing me to laugh.
"You're my sister too Rose. I won't forget about you. I promise."

Notes