Harry POV
Tears were brimming in my eyes when I held her in my arms. She looked so small in my embrace, yet was I feeling a thousand times smaller than she was right now. It hurt so much, it felt like a sort of poison streaming through my veins and burning from the insides out. Why was everything so complicated? I wanted to be back on the island, it seems ridiculous, but absolutely a hundred percent true.
“I’m sorry” I said again, my voice broke three times and she only held me tighter.
“C’mon Harry, let’s go to the living room.” Her voice was raspy, as she tugged on my hand and lead me to the neat, but old room. I was cold, freezing from the days I had been wandering around in this unfamiliar country. “You want tea?” She asked. I nodded my head carefully and tried to recover from my outburst while she was making tea in the kitchen. I crossed and uncrossed my legs several times before she came back with two cups.We sipped from our tea in silence, it was kind of awkward, but it didn’t bother me too much. The candle on the coffee table made my brain fill with happy memories of home and it actually made me smile.
“I’m sorry I yelled at you” there it was. The words I wanted to say for days. Her face softened and she scooted closer to me.
“It’s okay, Harry.”
“No it’s not.” I closed my eyes shut and shook my head no. “It’s not, Sam.”
“This is not about me is it?” I desperately wanted to say it was, that she makes me happy and she is the angel I’ve been waiting for. But I can’t. I love her so much, and she does have the ability to make me smile and make my heart glow, but she’s not angel she can’t fix everything that has been broken, and she doesn’t make me a happier person. Because to be honest, who is happy? Even if I’m not sad, I’m not happy. I need her, that’s absolutely true. I fucking need her with me every minute of my day, because otherwise I won’t survive this hell. “I wish I could fix you” She whispered when she realised she spoke the truth. A tear rolled down my cheek again as I looked into her eyes.
“I do love you, you know that right?” I thought back at how I screamed at her days ago when she told me she thought that I loved her. She didn’t answer and my heart broke a little bit further. I opened my arms and brought her to my chest, nestling her head in the crook of my shoulder. “I love you, I love you, I love you” I whispered kissing her head. We stayed like that for a fe minutes until she cleared her throat.
“Are you going to tell me what happened between you and Zayn?” She asked carefully.
“I’m still figuring out how to express all my thoughts to you, I don’t know where to begin.”
“It’s okay you can tell me tomorrow.” She muttered. She looked tired and I felt guilty for it, I know she hadn’t been sleeping well the past days, probably wondering where I was, having a million of questions, and less chance of forgiveness for her parents. She fell asleep in my arms and I was too tired myself to grab a blanket or anything else to cover our bodies.
I was awoken by muffled voices in the kitchen. I stretched my arm, hoping to feel her body next to me but, yet again I was disappointed.
“Hey, uhm” she twirled awkwardly around “don’t ask me why but I have a few shirts of you in my bag upstairs, and grams put a towel and toothbrush in the bathroom for you as well.” i gave her a loving smile before I jogged upstairs.
Her grandma made us some pancakes and it felt good to eat pancakes, with dripping hair and the girl I fucking love to death sitting across from me. “Do you want to come to England with me again?” I asked out of the blue.
“H-harry, I don’t think that’s a good idea.” her smile dropped and looked at me with big eyes.
“I want my money back, Sam.” I was ready to sue her, I want my money back so that I can start my life. I can’t live here, I can’t live in my aunt’s house. I need to get my shit together. But I can’t miss her, so she has to come with me.
“For a week, maximum” I smiled widely and looked at the way she ate her pancakes.
After Sam forced a sort of agreement letter that she could travel with another “adult” -that would be me- to another country, we made our way to the airport again. We said goodbye to her grandmother, thanked her for everything, booked our tickets and we were gone.
“Stop for a second” I told her when she rushed from the train to the airport.
“What’s the matter?” She asked, turning around. I came closer, brushed her hair out of her eyes, looked into them for too long and leaned in to kiss her lips sweetly. My lips lingered on hers for a few seconds before I pulled away. I took some time to open my eyes, and let my hands against her face.
“I haven’t kissed you in too long and I was feeling empty” I tried to whisper with my heart beating so fast and totally out of breathe.
“I love you” she said. I think I was going to faint, she’s so perfect. Why do I have the privilege to have met her? We stood there for a while, looking into each other eyes and now and then kissing. I am so fucking happy that she’s not mad at me. I’m just so scared what she’ll do after I tell her everything Zayn related. I wanted to ouke only by hearing his name.
“Are you okay, you look a little pale.”
“Let’s go check in, I’m ready to tell you.” I whispered after kissing her again
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