ALL ASHTON'S POV }

It's been three weeks since we left Los Angeles.

My parting words with Sophia haunt me and never fail to echo in my mind.

Something between us shifted. I know it.

I've tried texting and calling, no use.
DMing on Twitter.
Snapchat.

Luce informs me Sophia is staying with Eric. She decided to quit her record label. She is now currently attending university, studying in film and literature.

Luce ended up a shop Downtown in LA.

That's all I know.

All this time I was with Sophia, I had never felt so happy. Yet, never had I felt alone.

I needed or well wanted to be shown the same affection I have to Sophia. I was always behind her helping her up and catching her when she fell.

I may sound like I'm whining and complaining about never having Sophia be the one to hug me and help me out.

I'm not trying to. Honest.

On the flight back to our next destination, Paris I think, I realized something.

I was in love with her. But I was so mad at her.

Mad? Why am I mad, you ask?

She moved in with Eric, and she's still famous.
Obviously, she still has the paparazzi around her.

There's always a tabloid saying STYLES' EX MOVING ON and SOPHIA JONES; THE COLLEGE LIFE.

I realized, the media never knew about anything that goes on.

They think she and Harry ended in some big fight.
In reality, the whole relationship was a scam.

They would never know our story.

What happened between us is unknown to the world.

---

I find each passing day slowly tumble into another week.

Touring has been so much fun. It has.

I spend my time sneaking in the studio to release all these emotions on the drums.

God. We both screwed everything up.

Everyday I wonder if she thinks about me. If she regrets the horrible moments or smiles at the funny one. If she wears my blue bandana. If she smiles when she sees a banana.

Luce on a recent phone call said Sophia changed her number and moved out of Eric's place.

I can tell Luce is upset she hasn't talked to Sophia either.

Hell, I'm upset.

I find myself thinking, alone.

Luke, Calum, and Michael constantly worry about me.

I decided to funnel all these thoughts into letters.

"Ash. You coming?" Someone said.

I blink, then look at Luke.

"Coming where?" I ask.

Calum looks at me odd.
"The party. The one we've been planing to go to."

I find myself thinking a lot and replying simple answers to conversations I don't remember.

"No. I'm okay." I sigh, pulling my hoodie around me.

Michael and Ashton stand beside me.
"Ashton." Luke says. I can't decipher the look on his face.

"I'm fine. Just tired that's all." I shrug.

They left a good hour ago.

I climb out of bed and shuffle to the entry way.

A baby grand sits untouched.

I place my fingers on the keys.

The lyrics to Beside You appear and I begin to press a couple keys, beginning the intro.

No. I can't do this.

I stand up and close the piano.

Returning to my room, I dig in my bag before finding what I need.

A worn leather journal and a pen.

I pick up the pen and begin to write.

Dear Sophia.

It has been a whole month that I have not seen talked or heard from you...

Notes

hi this isn't xitlali.

i am Emma.

If you don't follow Xitlali's IG @sunnycaliforniall, please do.

Xitlali suffers from severe depression. Her meds worked but mess a great deal with her body as well as her mind.

According to a family source the meds began to stop working and all those things she felt returned.

She's currently recovering from the side effects if the sudden alteration in her meds.

She will return in about 6 weeks, so...
WE ARE TRYING TO GET HER TO 1K. And surprise her and show her we love her lots. So, PLEASE FOLLOW! :)

Uh so she gave me all her information so I can continue all of her 1d 5sos things.

She had been planning to take a break from all of the social media ( and the world itself /: ) and emailed me this chapter and the finale.

ALSO, ASHTON'S LETTERS WILL BE PUBLISHED IN ANOTHER STURY THAT SHE WILL DO AS A SPIN OFF.

I'm only doing TTD bc those are the only chapters she sent.. So. Yeah.

She says " I'm sorry I won't be able to post the grand finale if this story. It has been a pleasure although it sucked ass, ad you all were nice. Thank you for reading Through the Dark! :)".

okay FOLLOW SUNNYCALIFORNIALL PLS.