Lost

The next day at the studio, Ava was already waiting for us. She looked very hyper, and she had a tall cup of coffee in her hands. Her dazzling blue eyes were bright with excitement.

“So, let’s get started! Now, I think we should start on a new song. Something great. Something that will captivate you fans. Something inspiring. She was staring at the ceiling as she said this, imagining the whole thing in her head
.
She kind of reminded me of Marcel, whom was a character that Harry had played for the ‘Best Song Ever’ video. The thought of Harry made my eyes start to water. But I held back my tears; strained myself from crying.

*** When we got back home after the studio, I went straight to my room. I sat down on the edge of my bed and cried. After breathing, crying had been the thing I’d done most often these past few weeks. After a while, I heard a knock on the door.

“Come in.” I said, and the door opened.

There was Ava with a shy smile on her face.
She sat next to me and said, “I hope you don’t mind, but I’ll be coming over a lot. It’s kinda… you know… my job.” She sighed and looked at me, “But I told you before, we can work through this together. I mean, if that’s what you want.” She looked at me and stared deeply into my eyes.

I nodded, “Of course. And I’d love to have you around.” She smiled. Again that stunning smile, equipped with the straight teeth and everything.

“Louis, I know you’ll move on eventually. But until we get to that point, you have got to just be brave, hold your head up high, and show the world the awesome person you really are.”

I shook my head. “Maybe it’s good that you’re going to come over a lot to get to know us, because you’ll soon find out that I’m just some little boy with very sensitive feelings.”

“Louis, stop.” Ava said sternly, “you’re just putting yourself down, and that is not the first step to moving on. Think positively about yourself, that’s the key.”

I shook my head again. Why did life have to be so depressing? And how was I supposed to ‘think positively about myself’ when all I’ve ever loved had been taken away from me?

“I… I can’t.” I said.

Ava held my hand, “Of course you can. If Harry was looking down on us right now, he’d want me to tell you to do exactly that.” I cried harder. The mentioning of Harry just brought a blanket of darkness upon me. Ava held me tightly.

“I know how you feel.” She said. I looked at her.

“No, you don’t. You don’t know what it’s like to have the love of your life move, and your best friend die.” I said.

“Actually, I do,” she said. I looked at her, “My boyfriend cheated on me, so I broke up with him. He said that he never wanted to see my face again, so he moved far away. One of my two best friends, Marie, died out of cancer, and my other best friend, Caroline, committed suicide because she couldn’t stand life without Marie. My parents divorced when I was five, my mother dying shortly after that due to a car crash. My dad is now married to a mean, disgusting lady that I hate, and my brother is on drugs.”
Jeez.

I looked up at her. And I thought my life was bad. “How can you live through that?” I asked.

“Trust me, for a good 6 months, I felt like I couldn’t. I was on all-out depression. I saw a therapist, and I took anti-depression medication. But nothing did me any good. I cried and cried, for months. Life wasn’t easy.” She said.

“Well how did you make it through it all? I mean, look at you now!” I was beginning to think that my life wasn’t depressing at all compared to Ava’s.

“Every morning, I thought ‘things could be worse’. I thought that whenever I felt down, whenever I felt sad. And I made it through each day.” Wow. Ava was way braver than I had first anticipated. Just a simple sentence to start off each day, and she made it through all of those depressing things.

“I’ll never be that brave.” I said and shook my head.

“What’s rule number one?” She asked me. Don’t doubt yourself.

I sighed. These ‘lessons of depression’ with Ava were going to be hard.

Yet I was looking forward to them

Notes

Wow... Ava is really going to help Louis through his times of trouble! :)