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It Takes Patience III: Stripped

Chapter 53: Pardoned Potential

The light dusting of snow that fell overnight showed my footprints that followed me as I made my way into the building. It was barely eight o’clock in the morning when I woke up surprisingly refreshed with Harry nowhere to be found, the only tell all being that his running shoes were no longer by the door. After I checked my emails for the millionth time this week finally receiving the news that would change everything from here on out, the idea occurred to me. I felt as if I were sneaking but I knew that it was probably the only chance I had to end it all.

I walked down the familiar halls with my nerves at my feet, making me move faster than I had intended to. I thought that I’d rehearsed this moment while I was on the plane enough times in my head, to know exactly what it was that I wanted to say, but when I got in front of his door everything was a jumbled mess.

Dr. James Koch Research

“Since when did you get a name plaque?” I scoffed to myself as I paced back and forth trying to retrace my planned speech.

I stepped lightly and tried to ignore the stares that I got when other professors would walk by, or when students would look at me as if I were crazy. I feel like I’m losing my mind. So much needs to be said. So much needs to be done to the man that sits behind that door like the conniving piece of shit that he is! My anger builds, and though I don’t connect with the words that I’d practiced, I have a few choice ones that come to mind after I allow my fire to build and burn white hot.

When I turn the knob to enter the room, I’m once again stripped of what I want to say to Dr. Koch when his gaze and Dr. Baker’s meet my own.

“I figured that you were back. You stopped responding to my emails meaning that you’ve stopped doing your work. Need I remind you that you’re under contract and a conduct code of San Francisco University? With the amount of work that you’ve missed, I could easily contact the president of the school and have you kicked out!”

“James!” Dr. Baker tried to calm him down, but I only laughed.

“Would that be before or after I get your Ph.D revoked?”

Dr. Bakers eyes widened as she looked between Dr. Koch and I. I could tell that Harry had been rubbing off on me and from the looks of it so could he.

“Reagan.” Dr. Baker spoke in shock and awe, but if she only knew the half of the situation I’m sure that she’d be sided with me.

Dr. Koch sat with his eyes closed before he opened his desk, taking out prescription bottle of pills that he probably writes for himself to overly self medicate. That can be the only plausible explanation for the shit that he pulled when he sent me Harry’s files.

“You don’t know what he did, Dr. Baker.”

“What did he do that was the cause of such a threat?”

“Yes Reagan, what did I do besides saving your dear beloved’s ass again might I add?”

I looked at him slightly taken aback and confused by his rebuttal but I came back quickly with my own.

“You didn’t save him, you tried to ruin him! He sent me case file. He sent me the tape! It’s all on a document on my computer. Harry saw them! He saw them and now he’s closing himself off from me.” I spoke looking at Dr. Baker and ignoring James Koch as if he wasn’t even in the room. Anger shook me to my very core. It was a wonder that I could even stand to be in the same room as him.

“Is this true James?” Dr. Baker spoke in a hushed tone looking at Dr. Koch, though his eyes stayed on me. I could see his jaw grind and the vein in his temple could clearly be seen through his skin, but my glare was just as hard as his and I refused to falter.

“It is…” Even under pressure and threat of losing his livelihood, Dr. Koch was still the most arrogant narcissistic bastards that I’ve ever met in my life. “What? Did you expect me to lie Miss Stoger? I sent you the files because I thought you had potential to be something greater! I sent you the files because the boy still isn’t well and you have the potential to help him because you are the only person he’ll listen to!”

“You don’t know him!”

“I am him!” Dr. Koch’s fist slammed into the hardwood of his desk causing both myself and Dr. Baker to flinch.

“James don’t!” Dr. Baker spoke trying to quiet him, but it was no use. He stood from his work space to come closer to me making sure that we saw eye to eye even though he towered over me, looking down on me because of his height.

“We’ve had a discussion like this one before, Reagan. Do you remember it?”

I looked at him with a disgusted taste on my tongue, not bothering to give him the benefit of an answer.

“You don’t have to say it. You don’t have to respond, but I know you do. You know that I know better of Harry’s health than either of you in this room! He and I suffer from something very similar! You’re an enabler just like that one.” Dr. Koch pointed to Dr. Baker who had no words to defend herself against the accusation. “She failed him by letting him leave and now you’re doing the exact same thing.”

“Suffer? You act like bipolar disorder like it’s a fatal disease!”

“Bipolar? She doesn’t know? I sent you his files and you didn’t read them.” Dr. Koch looked back at Dr. Baker with an appalled expression on his face causing her to swallow roughly before lowering her head.

Dr. Koch let out a humorless chuckle turning away from both Dr. Baker and I before taking a seat back at his desk and pulling out small bottle of gin from his bag, taking a small swig before coughing due to the burn.

“I read what I could of those files before I realized that none of them change what I know him to be.”
“Then you didn’t read them. You don’t know him at all. Rapid Cycling Bipolar disorder, Intermittent Explosive disorder, Impulse Control disorder, and a slew of fucking others.

I couldn’t think or function and it felt as if the wind had been knocked out of me. I read what was legible. I read what I could. You stomached what you could. My focussed side kicked in at a point that I wish it wouldn’t have. My mouth went dry and before I allowed myself to feel anything or process anything that I’d just been told, I turned to Dr. Baker

“It’s not true. He’s fine. Tell me it’s not true.”

Dr. Baker looked to me before taking a deep breath and walking towards the window in Dr. Koch’s office.

“When I met Harry, he reminded me of James. James was my best pupil, and though he was difficult, bipolar and rage problem of his own, he was able to pull through it and be successful. I hoped the same thing for Harry, and I still have hope for him. I allowed myself to get in the way of my job, Reagan. I’m sorry, but it is true.”

I allowed my knees to give out as I fell into the closest chair available to me, grasping the armrest for dear life as I sobbed into it, not knowing where to go from here.

*****

I hadn’t even noticed that the taxi stopped until a thick british accent pulled me out of my trance.

“Oi! Are you hard of hearing back there? I said ten pounds fifty.”

I began to shake my head reaching into my pocket for the balled up five pound note that I knew I had, handing it to him while I continued to scrounge for five more pounds and fifty pence, but instead I found a hole where the money could have escaped through.

“Shit. I don’t have the rest of the five pounds fifty pence on me, I can just run into the house and get it for you.” My voice rasped through my throat. The last thing on my mind was his fucking five pounds fifty pence.

“No, no lass, I know that trick. You either give me the rest of the money now or I’ll call the police.”

“Over five dollars? I can just get it from inside. I’m not trying to run a scam on you for five dollars, sir. I promise.” My teeth began to grit and my patience began to wear thin. He was going to open his mouth and say something else but was cut off when Harry swung my door open.

He was covered in sweat even in the chilled air and his breathing pattern was nowhere near steady, but he bent down to kiss my forehead regardless. Biting my lip was all I could do to quiet my booming thoughts. Dr. Koch’s voice rattled in my head once again, giving me the short list of what's off about Harry’s mental health.

"What's going on? Where are you going?" Harry spoke wiping sweat off of his brow.

"She's not going anywhere! She owes me five pounds!"

"Alright, calm down!"

Harry reached into the pocket of his sweater pulling out his wallet, digging past the bigger bills there to find a five pound note. He handed it to the cabby before taking my hand and leading me out of the car and into the house.

"Where were you? Where did you just come from?" H spoke while closing the door behind us and removing his headphones from his ears.

Instead of answering I searched his face, refusing my eyes to water as I tried to see anything wrong with the man that I fell in love with.

"I went to see Dr. Koch." Harry stiffened by my words.

“You went there without me?”

“I had to talk to him alone. I tried to lay out the terms of the rest of my semester with him and if you’d been there it wouldn’t have gone the way that I needed it to.”

“You’re going back to work for him?!” Harry peeled off his sweaty jacket and undershirt before tossing it on the floor in his room and when his voice raised, I thought of Dr. Koch before quickly pushing the conversation from earlier aside. He was wrong. Both Dr. Koch and Dr. Baker were wrong.

“No. After what he did to you I could never-”

“Then what?” Harry ran his hands through his thick hair that was matted with sweat as he looked at me expectantly. “Why couldn’t have I been there?”

“Because he sent the files to me, not you. I can handle him by myself and I did. In life, there will be things that I’ll have to handle alone. You can’t be there for everything.”

Harry’s mouth opened to say another word against the matter, but I quickly moved to stand in front of him, covering it with my hand causing his eyebrows to furrow and his hand to reach for my forearm. He pulled my hand down, only for me to re-cover his mouth again with my free hand. This time, H’s eyes widened and a huff of air was puffed through my fingers as he exhaled exasperatedly.

“I have good news. I have something to tell you, so please just listen?”

Harry took a deep breath but nodded his head, not removing my hand from his face as he did so. My eyes searched his and the longer I looked at him, the more I could feel his lips curl upward under my touch causing me to do the same.

“When I woke up this morning and you weren’t here, I checked my email. The first message there was from University of Westminster...Harry, I got in.”

His eyes widened and my hand was quickly snatched from his mouth in the excitement of the moment. I quickly realized how his mood had shifted for the better, making what Dr. Baker and Dr. Koch said to me irrelevant. they don’t see Harry when he’s this way. How can anyone make a proper judgement on personality and psyche, when they can only see the negatives?

“Westminster in London?” Harry smiled at me, unable to contain himself as his grip went tighter around my waist.

I laughed as I nodded and repeated it to him, “Westminster in London. Yes.”

I couldn’t stop my surprised shrieks as I was lifted from the ground and quickly spun against Harry in all of his sweaty glory. He fell backwards on the bed with a smile still evident on his face as he looked up at me. His chest rose and fell at a steady pace and I could feel the way his heart palpitated behind his ribcage through my fingertips. This is what we needed.

“I’m so proud of you.” Harry chuckled before he spoke again. “I’m so proud. I love you so much. Reagan...you get to stay.” Harry removed my hand from his chest before he kissed every single one of my finger tips. I ducked my head down to kiss him properly. As I ran my fingers through his damp hair, I was reminded of his absence this morning. Though it was needed, I was still curious.

“Where were you this morning?”

Harry’s smile fell a bit, but it was still noticeable on his face.

“I just went for a jog. I needed to find a way to tell you everything, but I needed to gather my thoughts first.” I nodded my head already knowing that Harry was talking about the nightmares he was plagued with that consisted of taking Robin’s life. I sat next to him waiting for more to be said, but instead Harry rose to his feet before kissing the tip of my nose. “I kind of want to make a thing of it and take you somewhere so that we can talk. I put a lot of thought into this. After my shower...I promise.”

I grinned at him and his effort to change the pattern of our past before I agreed, kissing him one more time before he disappeared into the hallway. I could hear him start the water and I had half a mind to join him after calling my parents to give them the news. The phone rang and I waited for an answer, but got my mothers voicemail instead. Just as I was going to leave a message, I could hear the sound of a key being put into the downstairs lock. It was odd to me, seeing as how Anne and even Gemma were both at work at this hour.

“Harry?!” I called for him but received no reply so I quickly walked into the bathroom, pulling the shower curtain back as I allowed my nerves to get the best of me.

“Jesus, glasses! It’s freezing! Either close the shower curtain or, get in with me.” A devilish glint came to Harry’s eyes as he smirked at his proposition. I normally would have no problem with joining him and losing my religion against the shower wall, but that was the last of my focus at the moment.

“I think someone’s trying to get in the house.” I spoke quickly causing Harry to frown.

“What are you talking about?”

“I heard a key in the door, Harry.”

“It was probably just the postman putting the mail through the slot. No one else has a key besides me, my mum and Gem.” Harry shrugged it off and I closed the shower curtain before exiting the bathroom and walking towards the stairs. Surely enough, the sound I heard was a key.

“This is the last of it.” The familiar voice spoke as I made my way down the staircase seeing two men bring in a wooden dresser as tall as me and two others, bring in a few boxes.

I squeezed past the men in the foyer wrapping my arms around my torso as the brisk winter air immediately brought chills to my body. When I stepped outside to see the source of commotion, I nearly collided with Robin.

Notes

Hello Loves!

How are you?

I need to apologize for the eternity of a wait that you all have been put through for a new chapter. I have hesitated putting it up because I'm not exactly ready to part with my beloved characters, but everything must come to an end at some point. I was also disappointed that a few people have been posting ITP as their own on other sites, but it's not fair to hold back from the amazing bunch that I have here who have been with me from the beginning. The next chapter will be the very last before the epilogue, so I won't say any goodbye's here just yet. I know I'm undeserving for having you all wait for so long, But it would mean the world to me if you guys left me a few comments to let me know what you thought of the chapter and what you think is going to happen as the book comes to a close. I love you all to death and I could never ask for a better group! ~Xx

PS: I'm going to rename the chapter b/c I don't like the name of this one xx

Comments

@XOXOH

Hi there lovely, I am a big fan of your books and you don't know how happy I am to see you back here. I LOVE THIS TRIOLOGY so dam much......so let me get this straight....you are not updating this story anymore on here? You are only going to continue this story on wattpad?? .....despite what decision you make I will be waiting for you because I want to know what will HAPPEN ....sorry I am weird xxx

@MACxx
No problem xx

@polisson just added you on watt pad can't wait to see what you have in store! Starting uni daze as we speak thank you for replying to me!!! :)

@MACxx
Hi love! I am XOXOH I unfortunately can't log into my account on here for whatever odd reason??? Google gives me an access denied message but it still shows me when people comment here.Anyway, I will be posting this story again on wattpad under the user polisson it's gonna be a revamp so it will probably be a bit longer and have new parts. I wish I could log in to tell everyone about it. I also have another story that you may like there called Uni Daze. I'm sorry that I can't post here anymore :(

MISSING THIS SO BAD. My favorite book ever and ive been rereading to fill the whole in my heart! Truly miss your writing it's the only thing I have to look forward to when I get on here! Miss you hope to hear from you soon!